This idea has been playing in my head since i first heard the song 'Jar Of Hearts' by Christina Perry. Hope you like it and Please Review:) Think of it as a christmas present! Just so you know the song refers to Snapes Feelings about Voldemort and how he stole the only thing important in his life.
Jar Of Hearts
And who do you think you are running round leaving scars
Collecting you jar of hearts, tearing love apart
Your gonna catch a cold from the ice inside you soul
so don't come back for me
dont come back at all.
In the dungeons of Hogwarts there stood a pale, greasy black haired man. He stood over a potion that he had hoped would take his mind off of things. He was using a potions book he had gotten in his fourth year.
It was very early in the morning of Chistmas, his least favorite time of the year. It was the time of year that reminded him of the precious memories he had as a child. The snow on the ground reminded him of the snow ball fights he and his best friend had. Seeing the smiles on the childrens faces reminded him of when he had a reason to smile. The presents the children gave to each other reminded him of the only person that had given him a present.
With these thoughts echoing around in his mind he decided it was time for him to go.
He grabbed his long black coat, a warm Slytherin scarf, and a photo that was located in the bottom of his drawer in a box with a special enchantment on it. He didn't look at it yet, he would save that for later.
He walked out of the cold dungeons and through the Great Hall and glanced at the Gryffindor table. He closed his eyes and then opened them again looking at the spot where she used to sit. It was as if he could see her laughing with Alice soon-to-be Longbottom and Potter and his idiots plotting on how to get her to say yes for a date.
Severus was always sure she would never say yes to him, and that probably would have stayed true had he not called her a-
He shook those disturbing thoughts from his head. Everyday he suffered through the memories of that day down by the lake. The day he lost control of his anger and called her something he would regret for the rest of his miserable life.
He began to walk at a quicker pace out of the castle. Once he was outside he headed for Hogsmeade, because that was the closest place he could apparate from. On his way he passed Hagrids cabin who Lily had been good friends with, just like her son. In fact despite his looks there was a lot in common with the young Potter and Lily. It was only Harry's first year at Hogwarts and Severus couldn't help but notice how Harry had the same exact eye color as Lily. Or how he even acted like his deceased mother at times.
And yet, Severus could not look past the fact that this was James Potter's son and despite his eye color and personality, he looked identical to his father. Sometimes Severus couldn't help but wonder whether the boy had been sent to his life as a constant reminder as to what he lost in life.
When he finally made it into Hogsmeade he automatically thought of the destination in his mind. He landed and the first thing he heard were church bells. He walked past the statue of Lily, James and Harry and into the cemetary of Godrics Hollow.
Despite not being here for ten years he knew exactly where her grave stood. He headed straight for it and noticed the roses placed on both her and her husband's grave. He knelt down and reached out to the empty air. "Hello Lily."
It was almost like he could hear her happy voice yell "Sev!" But once again this was just his imagination going for a ride.
"Merry Christmas." he said in a monotone voice. "I brought you a present." He then pulled out the photo he had put in his pocket. In it was none other then Severus and Lily arm in arm laughing happily. In the photo Lily leaned towards Severus and gave him a kiss as Severus blushed madly. She laughed and grabbed a snowball and hit him with it. He grinned at her before grabbing his own snowball.
It was at that moment that Severus' mind took him back many years; back to when he was fourteen like in that picture.
It was Christmas morning and Severus was with Lily hanging out by the lake. It was very obvious she was hiding a present behind her back, but Severus would not be the one to ruin her fun.
"So what did you get me, Sev?" Lily asked, trying not to sound excited. Severus held back a smile at the childish look on her face.
"Who says I got you anything?"
Lily rolled her eyes and said "If you didn't then you will just have to feel guilty because I got you a pretty awesome gift." Then she took the present from behind her back and gave it to Severus. "Happy Christmas!" Severus smiled at her as he took the present. He opened it up and outright beamed. It was a potions book that they didn't have in the library and he had wanted for ages.
"Thank you Lily!" he told her sincerely. It was then that he started worrying over whether or not she would actually like the present he had for her.
Lily seemed to notice his face fall and said "Severus I understand if you didn't give me anything, I was just kidding-"
Severus cut her off as he pulled a bracelet out of his pocket. He never wrapped the gifts, he felt it was a waste. Her eyes widened and she said "It's so pretty! Where did you get it?"
"It was my mother's before she went off the deep end."
Lily walked over to her best friend and gave him a giant hug. "I love it Sev!" and she really did. In fact on her wedding day many years later she wore it in memory of her friend that she had lost.
At that exact moment a snowball hit Severus in the back of the head. Lily growled and stood up. "JAMES POTTER!" She pulled out her wand and made twenty snowballs and sent them all at the poorly hidden Mauraders. She shot a look at Severus that clearly told him to join in. He did as he was told and made even more snowballs and hurled them at the retreating boys.
When they were gone Lily burst out laughing and fell onto the ground. Severus started laughing but stayed upright. Not even Lily could make him roll around in the snow.
Actually, he stood corrected.
Lily began making a snow angel and said "Come on Sev, you should make one too!"
"All that would do is get me all cold and wet."
Lily then used her stupid puppy dog eyes and trembled her lower lip. "Pleeaasssee! If you don't do it I might just Imperio you."
It was at that point Severus Snape swallowed up his pride and made a pitiful snow angel. "Lily this is so stupid."
"Fine then!" she said. And then she pulled out her wand so fast that snape couldn't move away from the giant snowball she sent to hit him in the face.
Severus hopped up and tackled her. She fell and her wand dropped. Severus quickly went after it and ran away from her. "This is what happends when you taunt me, Lil."
She started sprinting after Snape and the two had a giant snow war, a memory that Severus would always keep close to his heart.
His mind raced back to reality and Severus was shocked to find tears on his face. With those tears and the memory fresh in his mind, his barriers went down.
He became desperate to have her back; he neeeded her. His hand reached for the gravestone as if it were her. "Lily, please come back!" He felt a sob rack through his body. "Please." He hugged the gravestone as his desperation slowly went away. She was gone, there was no way to get her back. And it was all Voldemort's fault.
Had that man, if you could even call him that, never existed then he would still have his precious Lily. Severus knew that Voldemort would come back one day; Dumbledore had told him. And when he did come back Severus could kill him with his own bare hands. He wouldn't even use magic if he could help it. All he knew was that the day that the man who had taken the light out of his life was dead would be the day he could move on. That sick, twisted, villan had taken the love he loved the most.
Severus took a deep breath and stood up. "Lily, I'm sorry." He wiped away the one solitary remaining tear. "I will try and look over your son the best that I can. But I hope you'll forgive me for not being kind to him." He smiled "I was never really that kind to you, anyway."
He sighed and began backing away. "Goodbye Lily." He then gave a curt nod of recognition towards James before turning back to Lily "I love you."
As Severus apparated away, the words "I love you too, Sev." could be heard in the wind.
I hope you liked it! Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling and "Jar of Hearts" belongs to Christina Perry, I am neither of them and am simply having non-profitable fun.
Review, and Happy Holidays!