Poster's Note: This is a group rp made into a 'fanfic'. Well, an attempt anyway. It is Hetanet's First Group RP, which started in October 2012. (Yes, we are having a two-year anniversary soon!)
The title of this rp is "Chibified Nations With Some Yaoi Romance (Very Original Title. Yep.)". For my convenience, it's called "Iggy-Mess". Because he is a mess here. Poor dude.
It'll be multi-chaptered because I don't want to type the rp in one go. I want to take my time.
RPERS:
Ayamari Uta (I think I was Rizu Roraito during this time?): England, Spain, and Japan
Lurvy-chan (here, she was idioticwrites): Sealand, Wy
Greece's Kitty: Greece, Turkey, Russia, Belarus (briefly)
Zero's Tide (Pho Real here): Switzerland
Black Paper Moon (now Carcino Catnip): Liech, Romania
Wierdo0101: Norway, Iceland
Iggy-Mess!
Part 1: England Fucks Up
It is an early morning in almost every country of the world. Yes, even though there are time zones. But let's ignore time here for a while, shall we?
Time does not matter here. Shut up.
This story begins with England fucking up, like always. For instance, he is up already, even though the other countries are happily asleep. He decides that he hates America, because he is the reason that his heart is going doki doki. Even though the one getting crushed on has no fault whatsoever because he doesn't know, but bollocks, it's his fault for not noticing.
Yeah, England expects that America can see shite more clearer than water through his glasses. If he can't, Texas is a rip-off.
In any case, he chants a spell in Latin and nothing happened. Not that he should have expected anything to happen, because America is at home at the moment, sleeping, and he is at his own home. But he decides that the spell never worked and that the book was simply old.
He flings the book across the English channel and through the middle of the city of Paris, and finally, the book lands on France's head.
So much for cursing America.
Of course, his spell DID work. Because I did say that this story is about England fucking up.
Switzerland notices first. His version of teddy bears are his guns, so it is no surprise that he pulls a gun out from under his pillow. To tell you the truth, I don't know how he isn't uncomfortable sleeping with a gun under his head or how he hasn't been shot yet, but oh well. Moving on.
He climbs out of bed and suddenly, he is engulfed by his pink pajamas. To no one's surprise, he screams, "ENGLAAAAND!" Because everyone knows he somehow has to do with this problem.
In the next room, Liechtenstein is wondering whether she is dreaming or not, and if her brother is having the same dream too.
But nope, it is not a dream, and Switzerland hates it. "Great, how am I supposed to tell Austria he's stupid if I can't even reach his beau- I mean, his pathetic face?" Insert smooches from the narrator here. He can't carry his gun around but he decides he can use a helicopter to go to London ASAP.
-0-0-0-
Iceland is next. He walks around and finally has to see a mirror to notice that he is chibified. Not that everything seemed taller. No, that is not what makes him realize.
He goes and reaches to take his phone. He calls Norway, because that is the best option right now.
"Norway, I need your help." Iceland says shyly.
Of course, Norway is an asshole. "Say it with me, Iceland. Onii-chan. Onii-chan."
Iceland is right to hang up on him.
-0-0-0-
Russia is next. He is the other nation that seems to be up already, running from his lovely sister. They both start shrinking, but they keep up their routine: Belarus keeps chanting, "Marry me, marry me, marry me-" while Russia keeps crying his eyes out.
-0-0-0-
Greece just wakes up and he's a badass motherfucker because he doesn't give a shit that he's drowning in falls back asleep.
But he is just woken up again by a phone ring. He slowly pushes the cats out of the way and climbs on the table.
Why are we even surprised that Turkey decides to blame Greece for all of this?
"JERCULES, WHAT THE HOLY HELL DID YO-"
"Bye, stupid head." Greece hung up and fell asleep on the table.
-0-0-0-
Meanwhile, England is about to fuck up more. He takes out another spell book from the shelf. He thinks he might try it out on Spain. He grabs his coat and heads out of his house. He thinks that this time, he should be in front of the person he was trying to curse.
Good thinking.
-0-0-0-
Back to Iceland, he decides to swallow his pride. When you can't reach the licorice, you can't live. No licorice, no life. This was very serious! He contacted Norway again.
"Brother dear?"
"O-Onii-chan, I need help..." Iceland said.
"On my way, brother dear."
When Norway gets there, he is... Well, this sums it up: "What's wrong, bro- England!"
"What the fuck, Norway!? Shut the hell up!" Iceland says and punches Norway. Said nation breaks into a fit of laughter and picks Iceland up. "Onii-chan, come on, say it." Norway insists but is slapped by a blushing, mad Iceland.
-0-0-0-
Meanwhile, Romania is standing on top of a chair, four books, a clock, three pillows, and a piece of paper... to get gummy bears. "Almost!" He snatches the bag of gummy bears and holds it up like they did with Simba in the Lion King.
So heroic.
"SMALL BODY, I HAVE OVERCOME YOU!" He blinks.
"Now. How do I get down...? Whatever." He sat on the pillow and enjoys his gummy bears.
-0-0-0-
Back to Russia, he successfully gets away from his sister's claws and climbs on the counter to grab the phone. "Comrade! I HAVE BECOME A CHILD AGAIN! Comrade?... Comrade." Snoring is heard in the other end of the phone. "COMRADE!"
"...ti..."
"... I have been turned into child."
"Me too. I blame Turkey... zzz..."
"..."
Russia hangs up.
-0-0-0-
Vash has a hard time getting himself to the air field. He couldn't drive himself, because now he is underage (fuck); he couldn't ask Liech, that would be embarrassing, and he has to somehow avoid Austria from seeing him like this when he travels.
"I swear, England is just begging to be shot, " he growls, untangling himself from over-sized clothes and jumping into the old ones he had worn as a kid. "Nobody even wears green capes these days..."
At least his white hat fit. Shoving 2 fingers in his mouth, Switzerland called for his 3 goats, Monch, Jaufruger, and Eiger.
"Jeez, I'm short enough to ride on a goat? The hell does that happen?" he wondered out loud, then climbed on Monch and rode away into the green hills of Geneva.
-0-0-0-
And now, for some reason, Greece is already in a fight with Turkey.
Let's not question it.
Greece is having a heated battle with that stupid Turk. "I'M CUTER!"
"NO, ME!"
"ME!"
"NUH-UH!"
"UH- HUH!"
" JAPAN DIGS MY SEXY CAT EARS!"
"HE LIKES MY RETRO COOL MASK."
(Meanwhile, somewhere else in the world, a baby panda- I mean Japan, is facepalming.)
"Why don't we just call Kiku, and ask?"
"He likes me more, Jercules."
Greece glares and grabs the phone from the table, seeing chibi Switzerland riding on a goat through the window above the table. "Why is Vash on a goat?"
"HOW SHOULD I KNOW!?"
Greece ignores Turkey and dials Japan's phone number.
Good for Switzy, because he pays no heed to the two morons as he rides his goat over to an airport. Like planned, there was a helicopter waiting for him, but apparently his boss doesn't recognize him.
"What are you talking about? Hello? THIS IS VASH!" Switzerland yells in a squeaky kid's voice, trying to convince his boss that he is not some random kid. No, this is Patrick.
Instead, all he says is, "No, little boy, this isn't for you." Switzerland is promptly escorted towards the exit by two bodyguards. Thinking fast, he spots a plane that says British Airlines on it that is about to take off. This is his last chance to go and get England!
Kicking Monch in the rear, chibi Vash began chasing after the moving plane, trying to catch it. "Come on, faster boy, faster!" he shouts, Monch trying his best to get as close to the jumbo jet headed for London as it could.
-0-0-0-
England keeps dialing Spain's phone number, but he wouldn't answer. Well, he wouldn't go to the bloody git's house to curse him if he isn't there!
Whatever. He would just stay there and read something. Maybe another spell book that actually worked!
But it is ruined by a plane that comes crashing into his lawn. His eyelids twitch.
It is Greece, who got the plane thanks to a sister that is not mentioned after this ever.
" ...I hate you."
"YOU BLOODY GIT, LOOK WHAT YOU DID TO MY SCULPTURE OF FLYING MINT BUNNY!"
"i want...my statues...back..."
"No. I placed them in my museum. Therefore, they are mine."
" ...Change me back, malaka."
"..." England looks frustrated. "I have no idea of the rubbish you are talking about 'changing you back'. I just want you to BLOODY GET MY BACKYARD TO THE WAY IT WAS!" England yells, clearly pissed. He is not aware that his spell worked.
Greece takes out a match box, strikes a match, and throws it. "There... it looks like your food now..."
England flushes in anger. "Don't mess with me, you tosser! I can obliterate you! I was once the MIGHTY BRITISH EMP-" He then pauses and blinks as he notices Greece's new height. "Eh... Greece, what happened to you...?"
"Your magic, blaka. TURKEY SAID HE'S CUTER. CHANGE ME BACK SO I CAN GO WW2 ON HIS ASS!" Greece punches the air with his regular sleepy look, which made it KAWAII, ARU!
"COMRADE, CHANGE ME BACK!" Russia yells, suddenly there too, as he is running from Belarus.
"Dammit...we need Russia to go WW2...change him back too."
"A-Ah... Well, I am not quite sure how this occurred, still..." England glared at him. "I am not doing it until you fix my bloody backyard! Then perhaps I will CONSIDER IT!" He looked behind him at Russia. "I might not change him back." He chuckled. "Running from a girl?"
Wy and Sealand are there too, marveling at the fact they are chibis.
Romania gets to England's house (after eating his gummy bears...) by using his magic...which he was actually good at. Then he stomps into the back yard and looks up at England, "Anglia! You better change me back now! I'd do it myself but I don't even know the damned spell you used! You really suck at magic, y'know."
Russia runs behind Greece. "Comrade, do something."
Greece looks at Belarus. "...You remind me of stupid head." Greece ducks and avoids the knife. Greece climbs onto the couch and takes a nap using Iggycat as a pillow.
Russia is then glomped by Belarus. "Marry me, marry me, marry me, marry me..."
"GO AWAY, GO AWAY, GO AWAY!"
"Hola! What are all of you doing here?" Spain chirped as he walked in through the whole thing.
Goddammit.