A herd of cattle ran off with the disclaimer that I don't own any Galaxy Ranger characters. Here's another insane idea I had. But they're all insane so what else is new?
Stampede From the Ghost Dimension
"Are you guys playing around with that phaser glove again?" Niko groaned as she watched Doc and Q-Ball fine tune one of their older experiments in Q-Ball's lab.
"You make it sound like it's a piece of scrap metal," Q-Ball sniffed. "It works perfectly."
"Then why did Buzzwang's circuits go crazy when you tried to have him use it?" Niko raised an eyebrow.
"He's fine," Doc waved. "Well other than the fact that he thinks he's Carmen Miranda."
"It was just a minor glitch. We'll reboot him in a few hours," Q-Ball said. "After he finishes his show in the rec room for the other rangers."
"Yeah and what a show," Shane snickered as he walked in with Zach. "He's not that bad. But seriously Zach do you think this is a good idea for you to test this thing again?"
"Not really but if this can help us with our missions like that one on Walcamp," Zach shrugged.
"You mean the mission where you nearly let out some evil beings from another dimension?" Niko asked.
"And before that you blew up a wall with that thing," Shane added.
"It wasn't an entire wall," Doc bristled. "Just one very large hole."
"So which wall are you going to put a hole in this time?" Shane asked.
"We are not going to put a hole in any wall," Q-Ball told him. "This time we're just going to have Captain Foxx test the power levels and his endurance of them."
"Wonderful," Zach groaned as he put on the phaser glove. "Did I ever tell you people how much I love being your guinea pig for these crazy contraptions?"
"Just let us know when the power becomes uncomfortable for you to handle," Doc told him. "Let's fire this baby up."
"Here we go," Q-Ball started the controls. The phaser glove began to glow. "We're on level one. Now we're going to level two…Level three…Any change Zach?"
"No, it feels pretty good actually," Zach shrugged. "I barely feel anything at all."
"That's because we're on the lowest levels," Q-Ball said. "Let's skip over to level five."
"How many levels are there to this?" Shane asked.
"We got it up to eleven," Q-Ball told him. "At least in theory."
"Why eleven?" Niko asked. "Why didn't you just stop at ten and make that the most powerful?"
"Because…Because this goes to eleven!" Q-Ball told her.
"Why?" Niko asked.
"It just does that's why!" Q-Ball snapped.
"That's a good reason," Shane snickered.
"Come on Q-Ball let's pump this baby up!" Doc said.
"Doc this isn't a beach ball you're inflating here," Shane snapped.
"Oh let them go for it," Zach said. "It's on my bionic arm. I have a full charge. I can handle it."
"All right, let's crank the switch up to eleven," Q-Ball turned up the power.
The glove glowed even brighter. "I'm…definitely feeling something this time," Zach grunted. "Guys I think you'd better cut the power."
"All right I…" Q-Ball began. "Oh no! The glove is giving off some kind of extra energy that's going back into the power systems."
"The feedback could overload it!" Doc shouted.
"Forget the could!" Niko pointed as the glove glowed brighter. "It's doing it now!"
"Doc stop this crazy thing!" Zach shouted.
"I'm trying! But the controls are not responding!" Doc worked the machine.
"AAHHHH!" Zach shouted in pain. Without realizing it he waved his arm. As he moved his hand a strange swirl appeared before them. "What the…?"
Before anyone could do anything the phaser glove tore at the air before him, ripping at the space before them until there was a huge hole the size of a door before them. Beyond the hole was a swirling desert of purple and green.
"Holy…" Doc whistled. "The phaser glove just tore a hole through space and time like it was wrapping paper!"
"So instead of putting a hole through a wall, you guys just put a hole in a couple of dimensions," Shane said sarcastically. "Great going geniuses!"
"You should have stuck with ten," Niko shook her head.
"That's something we really gotta work on," Q-Ball blinked.
Suddenly there was a bright flash that illuminated the room. "What the…?" Zach gasped. Then the room grew very bright.
"I can't see!" Shane snapped.
"It's some kind of dimensional…" Q-Ball began when suddenly the lights dimmed. A rumbling could be felt throughout the entire building.
"That is not good," Doc gulped.
"MMMMOOOOOOOOO!" A herd of green and white animals with long horns and four legs stampeded out of the dimensional rift. Before anyone could do anything they seemed to head straight for the wall and then passed right through it, leaving the wall intact but a large amount of green gooey residue was left behind.
"Okay what the hell was that?" Shane blinked.
"Apparently a herd of ectoplasmic bovine life forms have escaped through that rip in dimensions due to the phaser glove malfunction," Q-Ball blinked. "And are now in our universe!"
"Translation?" Shane raised an eyebrow.
"We have ghost cows stampeding through BETA," Doc told him.
"Oh is that all," Shane said in a mocking tone. "Wait a minute, where's Zachery?"
"He's…" Doc turned around and saw the rip in dimensions. "Oh dear."
Zachery was pounding on what seemed to be a clear wall in the other dimension. Swirls of green and purple were behind him. "He's trapped in the other dimension!" Niko shouted.
"Doc! Q-Ball! What the hell have you done now?" Shane growled.
"He did it!" Both Q-Ball and Doc pointed fingers at each other. "Me? You're the one who…?"
"I don't care who did it!" Niko snapped. "Bring him back!"
"Try to contact him telepathically and tell him to use the glove," Q-Ball told her as he fiddled with the controls of his machines. "We might be able to reverse the effects."
"I'm able to reach him," Niko used her implant. "And there's still a charge in the phaser glove. This might work."
They could see Zach trying but nothing happened. "What's wrong? Why isn't it working?" Shane asked.
"I think there's a temporal displacement between the two dimensions," Q-Ball worked at the controls. "Those dimensional creatures must have some kind of energy that transposed Captain Foxx's energy at the same time the…"
"English, Q-Ball!" Shane growled. "Not Geekese!"
"The ghost cows don't belong in our world and we gotta send them back into the dimension so we can get Zach back and restore whatever balance we broke," Doc gave him a look. "That easy enough for you?"
"So all we gotta do is get the cows and wrangle them back in there?" Shane asked.
"Basically speaking, yes," Q-Ball said.
"All right," Shane clapped his hands together. "Time for a good old fashioned round up!"
CRASH!
"MOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
"And time for the repairs budget to go up another hundred grand," Doc moaned. "They are gonna take this out of my paycheck I know it!"
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"Looks like I'm stuck here for a while," Zach groaned after Niko telepathically informed him what was going on. He looked around at the landscape of a purple and green desert. "I know I wanted to go somewhere different on vacation but this is too much."
A low moan startled him. "What was that?" He readied his blaster and walked a short distance to investigate.
"What the devil?" Zach blinked. It was a woman's form lying on the ground. She was wearing a black uniform of some kind, had pure white skin and short purple hair. Her body seemed to be glowing a greenish hue. Upon closer inspection that was because a few large green glowing blobs had attached themselves to her.
And some of them were headed towards him.
"Okay I don't know what the hell you things are," Zach took off the phaser glove and readied his bionic arm. "But I'm guessing you're not the welcome wagon!"
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Senator Wheiner was not having a good day.
Then again he never had a good day every time he stepped foot at BETA.
The last time he had been there he had ended up arrested on a drunk driving charge and thrown into a psychiatric institution for twenty four hours.
He barely managed to save his skin and reputation thanks to his lawyer and a well choreographed public confession of a drinking problem. He knew the only thing the public loved more than the fall and disgrace of a public figure was a tearful comeback. And famous people admitting to drinking problems were always a good story.
Of course it would have been easier for Wheiner if his daughter didn't keep partying every other night and losing her underwear at bars.
This morning he had woken up by a phone call from the local authorities informing him that his daughter had been involved in a drunk driving accident where she had plowed his limo into the pool of the Ritz Hotel. He had to dodge reporters and the press as he once again checked his daughter into rehab for the third time that month. Then he had to run to a nearby department store where his wife was accused of shoplifting several expensive items and he had to pay a huge bribe to get her off.
He decided to once again try and find out if he could discover any secrets at BETA by springing a surprise inspection. Unfortunately all he found was something he knew too well.
The Rangers at BETA Mountain were nuts.
"Get away from me you stupid robot!" Wheiner shouted as he stormed down the hallway.
Buzzwang followed the senator wearing a red frilly skirt and a huge hat with fruit on it. "But Senor it is not safe here!" He said speaking in a high pitched Spanish accent. "There are horrible aliens on the loose!"
"I know," Wheiner snapped. "And they're draining the federal budget! Now get lost I need to speak to your commanding officer!"
"Crazy robot," Wheiner snarled as he rounded the corner leaving Buzzwang behind. "It's bad enough Walsh has that Supertrooper, a psychic and those other misfits in the Rangers. Now he's got a cross dressing android! That's it! Walsh has had it too easy too long! When I get a hold of him I'm going to…"
"MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Several ghost cattle emerged from a nearby wall and thundered straight towards the startled senator.
It was at that moment Wheiner realized that maybe Commander Walsh might be too busy to speak to him today.
The ghost cows stampeded straight through the Senator and thundered down the hallway. "MOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
"When will I ever learn never to come here?" Wheiner staggered away covered in goo. "Next time I'll phone! Never again, never again…"
SPLAT!
Wheiner looked at what he stepped in. "I don't even want to know what that is!" He moaned in agony as he went to get home to slip into a bottle of vodka and a shower in that order.
Not far away Commander Walsh heard a loud racket and went to investigate.
"What the hell is going on around here?" Walsh roared as he stepped out of his office.
He leapt back into his office just before the white and green ghost cows nearly trampled him as they ran down the hallway. "What in the…?" Walsh sputtered.
"YEEEEEHAAAAAAAAAAA!" Shane whooped with joy as he rode Triton. He was herding the ghost cattle through the hallways.
"Oh look, here's another gray hair Shane Gooseman has given me," Walsh said sarcastically as he looked at his reflection in a nearby mirror on the wall. "GOOSEMAN WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOU DONE NOW?"
"Actually it was Doc and Q-Ball that did it," Niko told him as she ran up to him. "No time to explain Commander, we have to get these cows back into the lab if we want to save Zachery!"
"We do?" Commander Walsh groaned as he followed Niko. "I can't wait to hear the story behind this one!"
"Just be careful where you…" Niko warned.
SPLORT!
"Step," Niko wrinkled her nose. "There's a lot of ectoplasmic residue those ghost cows leave behind. At least I hope that's ectoplasmic residue."
"This day just keeps getting better and better," Walsh moaned.
They ran into Buzzwang. "Oh those naughty cows tried to eat my hat and nearly ruined my skirt!" Buzzwang tittered in a high pitched voice.
"What the…?" Commander Walsh's jaw dropped.
"Uh that's also Doc and Q-Ball's fault," Niko coughed, trying to contain herself.
"Those two have had a rather busy day haven't they?" Walsh gave Buzzwang a withering look. "Buzzwang get out of that ridiculous getup!"
"Senor, my name is Carmen not…" Buzzwang began.
"NEVER MIND!" Walsh roared as they went off to chase the cattle again. "I'LL DEAL WITH THE OTHER THING FIRST! WHATEVER IT IS!"
"Ghost cows from another dimension," Niko informed him.
"Of course they are," Walsh groaned. "What else would run through my command? The day wouldn't be complete without something bizarre and life threatening running through BETA!"
"Such naughty little things," Buzzwang kept speaking in his Carmen voice. "They even ran over poor Senator Wheiner!"
"Really?" Walsh rolled his eyes knowing he was going to get an earful as well as a large bill for dry cleaning later. "Wonderful!"
SPLORT!
"You really should watch where you step sir," Buzzwang told Commander Walsh.
"I wonder how many more days I have until retirement?" Commander Walsh moaned. "Oh right, too many!"
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"All right I think we have everything all set," Doc looked over the instruments in the lab. "Everything seems fine."
"One problem," Q-Ball looked at the dimensional rift. "I don't see Captain Foxx."
"Say what?" Doc raised an eyebrow. He looked for himself. "Fine time for the captain to go on a nature walk!"
"Ranger Niko has informed me of the situation," Walsh panted as he, Niko and Buzzwang ran into the lab. He gave a look at Buzzwang. "Well most of it. What's the progress?"
"Systems are ready. At least on our end," Q-Ball said. "Niko see if you can contact Captain Foxx. He's disappeared out of our line of vision."
"So this is where the cattle came from?" Walsh looked at the dimensional rip. "Unbelievable. I never thought the phaser glove could do that."
"Neither did Zachery," Doc quipped. "By the way where are they?"
"Ranger Gooseman is rounding them up and herding them here as we speak," Walsh remarked.
"A few of them took a slight detour in the commissary," Niko explained.
"I know where I'm not going to be eating for the next month," Doc joked. The loud sound of mooing and thundering of hooves could be heard. "Here they come!"
"There he is!" Niko pointed to the rift. They saw Zach carrying a strange woman in his arms.
"Yippie Kai Yai Yay!" Shane whooped as the ghost herd thundered back into the lab. "Get along little Ghost Doggies!"
"Just in time," Doc said. "This better work Q-Ball!"
"It should," Q-Ball told him as he worked the controls. "I'm eighty something percent certain…"
"Eighty something?" Walsh shouted.
With a loud moo the cattle charged towards the dimensional door. Zach had put on the phaser glove and charged it up. There was a bright flash and a loud shriek. The dimensional rip faded away with the cattle gone and Zach and the strange woman on the correct sides of the tear.
"Zach!" Shane whooped. "You're all right!"
"Who's she?" Niko pointed to the unconscious woman.
"Don't know but she was in trouble," Zach carefully lay her down on a table.
"Are you sure that was wise Ranger Foxx?" Walsh raised an eyebrow. "What if she was part of that other dimension?"
"I don't think so," Zach said.
"If she was the doorway to the other dimension would have stayed open," Q-Ball checked the space where the tear had been a moment ago with a strange instrument. "Judging from my readings the dimensional tear has been completely repaired. I'm not sure how or why…"
"We'd better get a medic in here to check her out," Shane said as he dismounted Triton. "And a dry cleaner for Zach." He indicated Zach's uniform which was covered in goo.
"Those cows make a mess huh?" Doc snorted.
"No. Things got a little messy when I encountered some of the locals," Zach explained, trying to wipe some of the goo off his shirt. The woman started to moan. "She's coming to."
"Ohhh…" The strange woman's eyes fluttered. They could see that her eyes were purple. She carefully sat up. "Where…?"
"Are you all right?" Zach asked the woman.
"I think so…" She put her arms around her and shuddered. "Who…Where am I?"
"I'm Captain Zachery Foxx and this is my team of Galaxy Rangers," Zach explained. "You're on the planet Earth at BETA mountain."
"Earth?" The woman blinked. "Never heard of it. My name is Jezzel. I…I was imprisoned in that dimension by the Queen of the Crown for rebelling against her."
"Wait you said the Queen of the Crown…?" Doc asked. "She's BETA's number one enemy."
"BETA?" Jezzel asked.
"The Bureau of Extra Terrestrial Affairs," Zach explained. Jezzel seemed to keel over. "Easy now."
"Oh the poor Senorita," Buzzwang twittered. "We must get help for her!"
"Is that robot in a dress?" Jezzel blinked.
"Yeah that's kind of a long story," Doc coughed.
Jezzel shook her head and passed out. "Oh boy…I hate it when they do that," Zach gulped. "Let's get her to the infirmary!"
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It was a short time later and the Series Five Rangers were waiting outside the infirmary for news about Jezzel. "What a weird day," Zach grumbled. "Weirder than usual."
"Actually that was kind of fun," Shane grinned.
"I don't think Commander Walsh or Senator Wheiner thought it was fun," Niko gave him a look.
"Good thing your bionics protected you from whatever was in that dimension," Doc said to Zach.
"They're also the same thing that got me into that dimension," Zach reminded him. He noticed Niko's face. "What's wrong Niko?"
"It's about Jezzel," Niko told him.
"She should be fine…" Zach began.
"It's not her welfare I'm worried about. There's something about her I don't trust," Niko shook her head. "I can't put my finger on it."
"If you did just trust me without thinking about it you would be a fool," Jezzel told her as she emerged from the other room. "However you must believe me on this. The Queen is an enemy to us both."
"Why didn't she just make you into a slaver lord?" Niko asked.
"Simple, she couldn't," Jezzel shrugged. "That's one of the reasons she was so afraid of me. Let's just say my body chemistry doesn't make for good slaver lords." She made a look at the men nearby. "However it is very compatible with…other things."
"Here we go," Doc giggled. He was always amused at how many women threw themselves at Shane. Neither Shane nor Niko were amused. Especially Niko.
However they were all surprised when Jezzel walked right past Shane and put her arms around Zach. "What…?" Niko did a double take.
"I prefer older men," Jezzel gave her an amused look. "And I'm not into blondes."
"Uh…" Zach nervously disentangled himself. "I'm married."
"Happily?" Jezzel raised an eyebrow.
"She's…a prisoner of the Queen," Zach cast his eyes downward.
"The Psychocrypt?" Jezzel stepped back. Zach nodded. "I'm sorry. I've lost a lot of friends to that horror."
"I'm going to get her back," Zach growled. "That's a promise."
"And I'm going to make the Queen pay for what she's done," Jezzel's eyes narrowed. "That's my promise!"
"We can help you," Shane said. "You can stay here and…"
"I need to get back to Crown space and restore what's left of the Rebellion," Jezzel shook her head. "If the Queen still believes that I'm trapped then this is a chance I must take. It might be the edge I need to end her evil rule once and for all."
"Besides," She sighed. "If I stay here too long sooner or later her spies will tell her that I've returned. And that will put you all in even more danger."
"The Crown Empire is crumbling but a rebellion from within could be a fatal blow to the Queen," Zach nodded.
"We can give you what information we have about the Crown Empire and the way things stand," Doc said.
"That and a ship with a fast engine is all I need," Jezzel nodded.
The next day Jezzel was standing next to an old brown starship. "It may not look like much but she's fast," Shane wiped his hands on a rag. "I installed an Andorian Hyperdrive myself."
"Thank you," Jezzel nodded. She turned to Zach and the other Rangers. "I'm sorry about your wife, Captain Foxx. But I promise I'm going to do something about it. It's the least I can do for what you've done for me."
"Are you sure you'll be all right?" Zach asked.
"The Queen only caught me by a stroke of dumb luck," Jezzel snorted. "That will not happen again! Farewell Galaxy Rangers."
Jezzel turned and kissed Zach on the lips briefly. "Your wife is a very lucky woman," Jezzel grinned and went inside the ship.
"Way to go Captain, you sly fox," Doc snickered.
"Very funny," Zach grumbled as they watched the ship take off. "That reminds me Doc, you and Q-Ball have cleaning duty."
"Cleaning duty?" Doc raised an eyebrow.
"Yeah there was kind of a big mess the ghost cattle made in the cafeteria," Shane grinned. "On the plus side you'll have Buzzwang with you."
"Is he still wearing the dress and hat?" Doc groaned.
"Oh yes," Niko snickered. "And he's got some new songs and dance moves."
"Why me?" Doc groaned.
"Why not you?" Shane asked with a smirk.
Meanwhile in outer space…
"Oh yes, Queen there will be retribution," Jezzel narrowed her eyes as she flew her ship towards an old hideout. "So the Crown Empire is being slowly besieged by these humans and their League of Planets? You withered old hag. I knew you could never hold my Empire together for long on your own. Once I've gathered all the data I need the two of us need to have a little talk…Mother."