WRONG IMPRESSION
"Somehow, even just for a little while, people would know I might not be too harsh. And people would know the real deal of my behavior."
In every story written in this archive, I have always been called a significant antagonist. An antagonist which authors let the readers believe always makes foul things towards the so-called protagonists.
I actually think I am never bad at all. There are just circumstances that seldom lead to misunderstanding and somewhat people thought already against the other characters. I'd even want to ask them.
Who would even not get heated seeing the one you love being pulled away by somebody? Really? Just showing jealousy is really that bad now? How about saying something in my own viewpoint, telling Mikan that she's an idiot? Is that already too dreadful to actually utter something which everybody already knows? Even Natsume and the others call her that way, tell me why when it's me who do that, I always end up being an enemy?
My image becomes worse and worse as stories go by. I wanted to defend myself but all those efforts I made were simply placed aside, not minding how I really feel. Every person has feelings. I've been hurt, unloved, and damaged, but still considered as a numb person. And you know what, it's too painful to accept all those negative things but still, I keep on wishing that someday I can hear someone say something pleasant about me.
With these things happening, I already think that all the possible doors for change and wonderful things have been closed for me. Can someone open up and keep me? For all these years, I've never felt being loved by anyone and my heart seems to be eventually broken into pieces. And as the years pass by, it's becoming too difficult to be fixed. With this, who would even dare loving me again? Can you tell?
Somehow, even just for a little while, people would know I might not be too harsh. And people would know the real deal of my behavior. Maybe if this happens, I can be a protagonist – even much better than anyone. ;)