The disclaimer telling all of you that I don't own any Galaxy Rangers characters has been lost at the mall. Along with a few of my brain cells. Which explains this insane fic. I have weird ideas folks. Can't help that. They have to get out of my brain somehow…
Rangers at the Mall
"Ranger Niko, I need your help!" The usually unflappable Zachery Foxx was practically screaming into his communicator. "This is an emergency! Niko!"
"Calm down Captain! I told you I'd be right there!" Niko ran down the hallway. She caught sight of Zachery nearly shaking standing outside his quarters. "Captain what's wrong? What's the emergency?"
"It's Jessica," Zach looked rather pale.
"Is she sick?" Niko's eyes raised with worry.
"No, not really…" Zach gulped. "She…got her period."
"Is that all?" Niko gave him a look.
"She's never had one before! I tried to find some…things for her but I couldn't!" Zach was clearly at a loss. "So I practically tore through the bathroom closet looking for things but I couldn't find any things and I don't know where Eliza keeps her things and I am really out of my element on this!"
"Zachery, I can't believe you're so wound up over this," Niko rolled her eyes. "You are her father after all."
"Right! Her father! Not her mother!" Zach gave her a look. "And on top of it all she's starting to…starting to…develop."
"Oh," Niko realized.
"Niko I know this is a lot to ask but please…" Zach gave her a pleading look.
"All right Zach I'll see what I can do," Niko shook her head in amusement as she started to go into the apartment.
"Uh one other thing…" Zach gulped.
WHUMP! WHUMP! WHUMP!
"AAAHHH!" Zach Jr. was being barraged by several pillows thrown at him by his irate sister. There were pillows all over the room and several other items on the floor, obviously thrown.
"She's also seems to have developed her mother's temper," Zach winced. "Especially at this time of the month."
"Jessica! Stop it!" Niko stopped her from throwing a pillow. "You shouldn't hit your brother like that!"
"He called me fat!" Jessica was near tears.
"I did not!" Zach Jr. protested. "You asked me if I thought your outfit looked a little tight on you and I said yes!"
"YOU SAID WHAT?" Niko roared.
"Oh boy…" Zach gulped. "Son, you are a dead man."
"Hit him again Jessica," Niko said. Jessica hit him with another pillow. "Little Zach I can't believe you said that!"
"Was I supposed to lie? OW!" Zach Jr. was hit with another pillow.
"You're not supposed to give a truthful answer to that kind of question," Zach told his son.
"If they don't want to hear the answer why do they ask?" Zach Jr. gave his father a look.
"To make our lives a living hell," Zach Senior told him.
"WE HEARD THAT!" Both Niko and Jessica glared at him. Zach winced at their anger.
"You boys are a pair of insensitive idiots you know that?" Niko gave them a look.
"Yes, we do," Zach Jr. groaned knowing it was the only answer he could give that wouldn't get him killed.
"We are well aware of that," Zach Senior agreed.
"Come on Jessica," Niko patted the younger girl's shoulder. "We'll stop at my apartment before we go to the mall and get you some things. And the boys can stay here and clean this up."
"But she made the mess!" Zach Jr. protested.
"Shut up and do what you're told," Zach told his son as they both received harsh looks from the young women.
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"Thanks a lot Niko for helping me with this stuff," Jessica sighed as they left Lacy's Department store at the nearest mall. Both were carrying bags. Niko was wearing jeans, a yellow shirt and a brown vest as well as comfortable cowboy boots and a yellow bandana around her neck.
"It's no problem," Niko smiled. "I needed to get a few things myself."
"Dad's totally clueless about these things," Jessica signed. "And since Mom's not here…"
"I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DID THAT!" A familiar voice shouted.
"ME! LOOK WHO'S TALKING! YOU'RE THE ONE WHO WAS FLIRTING WITH ALL THE SALESGIRLS!" Another familiar voice shouted.
"Can I help it if the ladies love the Doctor's magic?" Doc said as he and Shane turned a corner. Shane was wearing his black cowboy clothes without the hat. Doc was wearing a stylish white and tan suit.
"Oh brother what a line!" Bubblehead, the purple lab coat wearing memory bird was on Shane's shoulder rolled his eyes.
"You're in no position to criticize after what you did!" Doc gave the bird a look. Then he noticed the ladies. "Niko? Jessica?"
"Hi Doc, Goose," Jessica blinked. "Bubblehead?"
"That's my name! Don't wear it out!" Bubblehead chirped.
"What's going on?" Shane asked.
"Just taking Jessica shopping. What are you guys doing here?" Niko asked.
"I needed to take the Goose shopping," Doc smirked. "I'm getting tired of him wearing the same clothes every day."
"That and Bubblehead had a little adventure in my closet," Shane grumbled. "Don't ask."
"Hey do you know how much popcorn you can stuff in a closet?" Bubblehead asked. "Even if you add the extra butter?"
"One nutty bird if I ever saw one," Doc shook his head. He gave Shane a look. "Takes after his owner."
"I hate places like this," Shane was clearly uncomfortable. "Too many people in one space, too much stuff in one space, too many people trying to buy useless crap in one space…"
"Angels we have heard on high," Bubblehead sang. "Tell us to go out and buy!"
"There's also a techno pet store here," Doc added. "We thought maybe we could get Bubblehead something to keep him occupied during the day."
"And away from any classified data," Shane rolled his eyes. "Or my closet."
"Can I help it if you have good taste in outfits?" Bubblehead asked him. "Extra buttery!"
"And you think it's a good idea to just let a memory bird come into a mall full of people?" Niko raised an eyebrow.
"Most people don't know what a memory bird is," Doc told her. "They just thought he was another techno pet."
"Techno pets," Niko thought back. "Oh wait now I remember. Like that girl had back on Nebraska. That little dragon she had."
"That's right," Doc nodded. "They come in all shapes, sizes and species."
"It seems to be the latest craze among people on Earth," Shane smirked slightly.
"Why not? All the love and none of the mess," Doc shrugged.
"Yeah right," Shane gave him a look. "What do you think Bubblehead did back there? So much for those so called obedience protocols you installed in him."
"What did he do?" Jessica asked as Bubblehead fluttered to her shoulder and she petted him.
"He beat up a couple of techno cats twice his size," Doc told her.
"They started it!" Bubblehead protested. "Besides I barely touched them! A couple pecks and they ran off like scaredy cats!"
"Like I said, takes after his owner," Doc gave Shane a look.
"If this is about what I did to the guy in that clothing store…" Shane growled. "I barely touched him! Considering what he tried to do to me…"
"For the last time Goose," Doc winced. "He was just trying to measure you. He's supposed to get that close!"
"He won't get close to anyone on top of that counter," Shane grinned.
"You are impossible," Niko rolled her eyes.
"That is the truth," Doc grinned. He saw a few saleswomen out of the corner of his eye. "Ah I think I finally see what I like!"
"No, he's impossible," Shane contradicted. "So what did you get?"
"Just a few things," Niko shrugged. "Nothing important."
"Doesn't this make me look lovely?" Bubblehead had taken one of Niko's black bras out of her bag and put it on his head.
"WHAT THE…" Niko yelled.
"You have such lovely taste," Bubblehead twittered as he modeled the lingerie. "So lacy!"
"GOOSE!" Niko roared.
"BUBBLEHEAD NO!" Shane shouted. "BAD BIRD! BAD BIRD!"
"I'm too sexy for myself!" Bubblehead danced around with the bra on his head. "Too sexy for myself…"
"GIVE THAT BACK YOU LITTLE…" Niko lunged at him. Bubblehead flew out of her reach with the bra. "BUBBLEHEAD!"
"Look at me! I'm so pretty!" Bubblehead chirped as he flew away. "I feel pretty! Oh so pretty!"
"SHANE GOOSEMAN YOU AND YOUR STUPID BIRD!" Niko roared as the pair chased after Bubblehead.
"WHAT? I DIDN'T TEACH HIM THAT!" Shane shouted. "BUBBLEHEAD GET BACK HERE!"
"Doc can't you…?" Zach Jr. turned around. "Doc?"
Doc was currently flirting with three attractive saleswomen. "Ladies how about some lunch on me?" He grinned. The women cooed in agreement.
A manager shouted after them. "I'VE TOLD YOU BEFORE MAC! STOP HITTING ON MY EMPLOYEES OR I'LL HIT YOU!"
"This is so totally embarrassing," Jessica moaned, trying to hide her face in her hands. "I am never, ever coming to this mall again with these people!"
CRASH!
"BUBBLEHEAD!" Both Shane and Niko shouted.
"GOOSE YOU ARE SO DEAD!" Niko screamed.
"BUBBLEHEAD I AM GOING TO PLUCK YOUR FEATHERS OFF AND TURN YOU INTO A PILLOW!" Shane yelled. "OW! NIKO! STOP HITTING ME! OW!"
"If they ever let us back in the mall ever again," Jessica groaned.