"How can he stand to be around her? I mean, she's a girl who's way stronger than him! Isn't that fucking embarrassing?"
"Mikasa's scary, like... how could anyone be attracted to her? Whenever she takes her jacket off, she's just a scary brute."
"…no hope trying to get those clothes off. She's definitely off-limits."
Laughter could be heard in the distance, where trainees goofed off. Though, from where she was standing, there was nothing but silence.
Comments. Common, yet overused and also very, very hurtful. Though, she didn't know whether she should be hurt or if HE should be hurt.
Of course he heard them. Hell, she'd take him to the ear doctor if he didn't. Though, it never ever seemed to hit him like it did her. She'd feel knots tie in her stomach. Her head felt like it'd burst from pressure. But, nonetheless, she kept a calm, stoic expression. Something she already knew how to do, yet she didn't know how she knew.
These days passed by. They left like the usual passing breeze. Nothing too special about it, really. She had come to the realization that she wouldn't be fully happy with her life. She'd always be ridiculed, be it random people or Eren. She was never really treated with sincere kindness. She had always been "Eren's savior" or "Humanity's second strongest" or, behind the scenes, "She-man." Most days, she'd shrug it off.
But... today was a bad day.
"Mikasa?" Armin asked, taking Mikasa out of her everlasting gaze into nothingness.
"Armin..." She looked at him, but not AT him. Not all of her was there, and to be frank, it scared the hell out of Armin.
"Huh?" He startled, not wanting to overreact from a simple gut feeling.
"M-Mikasa,"he continued, nervously, "training's done for the day. You don't have to stand out here."
Dusk had settled upon them, yet she still stood straight, like a tree.
"It's fine. You go." She replied coldly, strands swaying in the breeze.
"Mikasa..." Armin tried to get to her. He tried his luck tugging at her jacket sleeve, when she suddenly slapped his hand away.
"Stop!" Her hand that had slapped him shook, but out of what? Fear? Anger?
"Mikasa..?" Armin's stomach dropped, and panic settled in, "What's wrong? What happened to you?"
But before he could get an answer, she had ran off at the fastest speed he had ever seen a human being run.
Upon hearing the news, Eren took off running as fast as he could, ignoring the orders of his superiors.
He searched for hours on end, annoyed with Mikasa's behavior.
What was wrong?
Why did she take it out on Armin?
Soon came a crunched figure with—yep—that read scarf.
"Mikasa!" He yelled through the brush, "What happened? Everyone's worried about you, and we're both in big trouble, you know."
Silence.
He made his way to where she was sitting, and she sit, holding her knees to her chest.
"Mikasa?" He said, a little more softly this time, noticing the redness of the side of her cheek.
She had been crying.
"Mikasa, what's wrong?" He hadn't seen her cry since that night, when his family took her in.
Wait, he thought, she's never cried since then, how-
He was searching for reasons as to why she would be so sad.
"Mikasa, you can tell me." He coped, though he had a hard time; he wasn't good at comforting.
"For the first time in forever," she started with a voiced so drenched in pain and weakness, Eren barely recognized it, "I wanted to die. Really... Really die."
She choked, trying not to sob so violently in front of Eren, her treasure—something she had to protect. Showing such weakness was not appropriate.
"Mikasa, why?" He asked, his fear showing.
"I'm sorry." She finally said.
He was frustrated. "Sorry for what?"
"Sorry for making you look," she sniffled, "Like a clown all the time. It's just I don't wanna..."
She choked and sobbed. All this time still she had her faced burrowed into her legs.
"Mikasa!" He yanked her away from her little hiding hole, revealing her tear stained face, puffy eyes, and red bags.
She hadn't been crying; she had been in utter despair.
"Oh, Mikasa..." He brought her into a warm embrace.
She let her hands snake around Eren's figure, wanting to remember how it felt to be cared by someone.
"You feel alone?" He asked into her hair. She stiffened up.
"Mikasa..." He said softly, his pain showing clearly. He left the embrace and faced Mikasa.
"Is it because of me?"
A single tear slid down her cheek, because the answer was most definitely yes.
She didn't give a damn about the comments made about her. She knew all of those men were stupid and distasteful. She wouldn't let herself be hurt by those words. It was the fact that Eren—her sole reason for existence—had become immune to the fact that Mikasa was a part of her life. He had said nasty things, done nasty things. He had made her feel like the ultimate villain.
"Do you hate me?" She choked out, tears spilling out of her eyes.
Her words hit him like a bullet train. He had done this.
He had put her on the other side.
He had made her feel like dying.
He felt tears rush down his face, and quickly wiped them off. He wasn't allowed to cry.
Though, he did, and Mikasa's wide eyes said everything.
"I'm so sorry, Mikasa.." Eren choked out, and took her in once again into his arms, this time, squeezing her tightly, as if she was fading away forever.
"Why?" She asked, her fear apparent.
"No, I don't hate you," he cried into her shoulder, "I'm the exact opposite, Mikasa, I love you and I'm sorry that I've made you feel this way. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry Mikasa"
He trailed off, embarrassed that he's presented himself as a blubbering baby in front of Mikasa, but also happy that he could get this off his chest.
"Eren, I know you're not my kid brother..." She said, in a more happy tone, "But be it kid brother or just a blessing in my life, I'm going to protect it, forever, until I can no longer."
"I know, I'm so sorry Mikasa I'm sorry. I'm sorry," he said into her hair.
As his crying slowed, he was soothed by Mikasa's fingertips gliding little patterns into his skin through his shirt.
He was exhausted.
Not only was he embarrassed an not knowing of what to do, but he was tired af.
His head still laid on her shoulder with his arms wrapped around her limply.
He had confessed his love, not knowing of it until now.
He loved her.
He always had.
He softly kissed her shoulder, trying to make it as unnoticeable as possible.