Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. Sad, but true.
I stormed down the girl's dormitory stairs one night to find Harry sitting alone in the common room. As I plopped down with a huff in my favourite chair by the fire, Harry turned to look at me.
"Bad day, huh?"
"You have no idea," I replied.
"Well, if it makes you feel any better, I haven't had a very good day either." At my questioning glance, Harry told me about an awful toothache he had and that Madame Pomfrey was out of potions for that particular ailment.
"I can beat that," I said confidently. Seriously, there is nothing worse than cramps. Except for childbirth. But seeing as how I've never given birth before, cramps beat everything.
"What's wrong, Hermione? Are you okay?" Aww…isn't he so thoughtful? Making sure I feel all right and all that jazz…whichever lucky girl manages to capture his heart will truly be blessed.
"You don't want to know," I told him.
"Aw, come on, it can't be that bad," Harry said, trying to coax my problems out of me.
"No, really, you don't want to know," I replied, more assertively. And it was true. What guy would want to know about a girl's issues with cramps and PMS? If I were a guy, I certainly wouldn't, that's for sure.
"Ohh…" Harry's eyes lit up with understanding, "is it…er…something else?"
"Yeah." About time he caught on!
"You're right again, Hermione, I don't want to know." Of course I'm right. I'm always right.
"Ask me no questions, I'll tell you no lies," I replied simply.
"No questions period!" I just stared at Harry for a moment. "I did not mean for it to come out that way!"
A/N This story is based on a conversation that I had with one of my friends during Algebra class one day (and when I say "based on," I mean "there are direct quotes"). Oddly enough, he did not learn from the experience, and we were forced to repeat the conversation a couple months later.