Randella sighed and got on her knees to pray.
She recited the lord's prayer.
Our Father, Who art in Heaven,
Hallowed be thy name,
Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done,
On Earth, as it is in Heaven,
Give us this day our daily bread,
And forgive us our sins,
As we forgive those who trespasses against us,
And lead us not into temptation,
But deliver us from evil,
For thine is the kingdom, the power and glory,
Forever and ever,
Amen.
She sighed again.
"Lord, I really need answers, if you are willing to give me them. I need to know why bad things happen to my family...well, to anyone really...why can't we just have good, love-filled lives with no pain and despair? I'm not saying you made us wrong, I just...I guess I need comfort. My family has been through everything you can think of...rape, sexual abuse, drug and alcohol abuse, self-harm and attempted suicide, disability, been in the care system, death, mental illness, obesity and anorexia, cancer, disease, death, homelessness, domestic violence...I don't t think my family can take much more. Please...I just guess I need to know you're here with us...protecting us and providing light in the darkness..."
She closed her eyes and bowed her head onto her bed, thinking silently of what she had just said.
A gentle warmth overcame her and she opened her eyes but did not move, enjoying the peace she felt.
"Randella...I am here with you. Always."
Randella breathed out, unsure whether or not she had been imagining things.
"Oh, I am very real, Randella. Believe in me."
"I do believe in you...but sometimes it feels like you're not there for me and my family...uh..without meaning to sounds disrespectful..."
The warmth seemed to highten a little, as if God was amused.
"I do not think you are being disrespectful. You are simply being honest - and when you chose the truth, you chose to honour me, because I am the truth."
Randella smiled, relieved she had not offended The Great I Am.
"Actually, I am a very patient creature. I see you shaking, still. You are afraid of me. I understand, but fear not, for I shall not harm you. I am here for you, and I wish to answer any questions you may have."
Randella felt broken hearted again, and felt tears fight her dignity.
She felt a presence on her bed, almost as if God were really sitting there, and where her head was bowed before on the bed, was what now felt like a knee.
She breathed out, realising she was literally kneeling before God.
Humility and self-consciousness overcame her, and she shook more, afraid.
"There is nothing to feel humiliated about. You are being humble...you show me great respect by bowing to me. You are acknowledging that I am more powerful than you. But that doesn't mean you should be afraid of me. Respect and fear are different things, and it can get confusing when the two cross over. But about your tears...do not fight them. There is no shame in letting them fall. I am here for you, and I have been with you every time you have wept before. It will make you feel better."
With that, Randella let go and simply sobbed.
She bowed even further into God's knee and placed her hands on the bed.
She sobbed and sobbed, and The Good Lord waited patiently, gently stroking His child's head to sooth her.
At last she calmed.
"I'm afraid." she whispered.
"Tell me what you are afraid of."
"I'm afraid of life...what more can happen to my family and I? How long before someone snaps and ends their life? I'm afraid that when something goes right, something will go wrong twice as much. It seems we are always hurting for some reason, and hardly ever smiling."
"I understand. You are right - you're family has been through a lot of darkness and a lot of pain. But answer me this - in times of need, did your family pray to me, and ask me for help? Did they send Satan away in my name, or did they invite him in with their anger and hate?"
Randella felt shame.
"No." she answered quietly.
God sighed.
"I know this is hard for you...but I want so very much to help all of my children. But you need to need me first...to want me.
"I understand...and I'm sorry we didn't turn to you. We should have had a relationship with you regardless of what was with happening to us. To honour you when things went right, and to honour you more when you healed the wrong. I'm sorry."
Randella felt a warm hand on her head again, comforting her.
"It is just another lesson learned, child. Now you know. I will never leave, or foresake you. If you ask, you shall recieve."
Randella allowed more tears to fall quietly.
"Why is life like this in the first place?" she whimpered.
God stroked her face gently.
"There is something I want humanity to understand. There IS no evil, or darkness, or even sadness. It's an illusion, caused by Satan. See, when I made the world, I made it good. When Satan corrupted mankind, he made them do things than simply took away what I had given. Evil is just a word for lack of good. Darkness is just a word for lack of light. Sadness is just a word for lack of happiness. Hate is just a word for lack of love. When I created man, I made him to be my child. Everything that I am is joy to man - love, light, and everything you can imagine that is good. When Satan comes and you turn away from me...when you chose to ignore me, then you start to ignore everything that I am...and so you feel my absence. You feel the lack of good, light, love and happiness. And you suffer because of it. It pains me you know. If only everyone would just trust in me, they would know all this. They would understand. Satan is winning, but he doesn't have to you know. I will not force people to acknowledge me. I will not take away their choice. But I DO want them to choose me. When they do, they chose everything that is good. Do you understand?"
Randella was now weeping again, devastated she had not realised any of this before.
Again, God comforted her.
"Satan blinded you from the truth. Just ask me...ask me to send him away."
Randella nodded.
"Please God...please make him go away. I'm tired of feeling depressed and scared."
"Gladly. Satan - show yourself to the human!"
Suddenly, a dreadful darkness appeared in the room, and Randella was overcome with fear and sadness.
Remember God's word, she whispered a prayer.
"Please help me...take away my fear and sorrow!" she begged.
God took her hand and she was filled with warmth and joy. She was no longer afraid.
She turned to The Lord and smiled and true smile.
He smiled back a dazzling, bright smile that filled Randella with great excitement and love.
"Be gone Satan - and never come near this family again! That is a command, and you will dare not disobey me!"
Satan shouted out with rage, but did as commanded, and vanished, never to be seen again by Randella. Ever.
She sighed with relief, confident all her troubles were now over.
"Thank you - thank you so much! I swear an oath now to never turn away from you again. I love you, and I respect you...and I will never forget it."
God smiled happily and nodded, invited Randella for a powerful cuddle.
Tears of joy now ran down her face, and she gladly collapsed into His wonderful arms.
After several long minutes, God slowly disappeared, but a whisper remained ringing in the room...
"I am always with you."