Disclaimer: Don't own it.
A/N: Don't ask. I just had to know what would happen if Sasuke (this story takes place assuming he never left Konoha) realized that he was emo. (Because you have to admit that he is.) Anyway, enjoy this bizarre conjuring of my imagination. More chapters may be posted depending on how this one is recieved...
A beam of morning sunlight, focused by the slight crack in the curtains, struck the sleeping Sasuke right in the eye. Moments later his eyes flew open, and he hissed at the unwelcome light. Cursing under his breath he rolled over and rubbed his watering eyes.
"Ow……"
When his eyes had sufficiently recovered, Sasuke stood up and walked lazily to his closet. He must have slept in—usually he was awake before the sun decided to pester him. Oddly enough, Sasuke was in a cheery mood. Perhaps the extra hour of sleep had done him some good, or had some other ridiculous healthy impact.
Opening the closet door, he peered in.
Black shirts, black pants, more black shirts….those nameless overgrown black rubber bands….another black pair of pants….
Sasuke rummaged through the furthest corner, and found…..more black. Black, black and more black, punctuated only by the spattering red and white from the Uchiha Clan symbol. A frown formed on his naturally pouty lips. Didn't he still have a blue shirt somewhere…..? He didn't want to wear black today.
Aghast at the thought, he slapped a hand to his forehead, mostly in an act of scolding, but in a small part checking for a fever caused by an unknown illness.
Tch, he argued to himself, it isn't like I'm emo or anything. I am allowed to wear something other than black if I feel like it! He'd just never felt like it since he'd turned thirteen. Sasuke crossed his arms in defiance of himself, but couldn't completely dispel a horrible sneaking suspicion….Cautiously he walked up to the mirror in the bathroom and peered at himself. A sour face leered back at him. Sasuke was pleased, until he realized that it was not a sour face of the I-don't-give-a-crap-I'm-too-far-above-you variety, it was one from the dreaded I-don't-give-a-crap-don't-judge-me-you-don't-know-me kind! When had this happened?!
"…No…"
The face in the mirror mimicked the movement of his lips.
"….It can't be…."
The face's eyes grew wide.
"….I can't be…"
The face's skin grew paler than usual, and Sasuke had to turn away in horror.
"…..I'M EMO…!!!" His voice was a ragged whisper.
Panicked, he paced around his bed in an endless circle, pretending that, among everything else, he was not still wearing his black boxers. How could this have happened? When did he, the Great Uchiha Sasuke, become emo? He was an avenger! He was not emo!! He could not be emo!!
His overactive imagination took hold, and he could hear Itachi laughing at him. Laughing!!
Uchihas did not laugh: that was the first thing wrong with the morbid fantasy. The second was that Itachi laughed even less than all the other Uchihas. The third, of course, was that while the prestigious Uchihas did not laugh, they were not emo.
All the Uchihas had long, conveniently eye-obscuring bangs, wore dark, and generally brooded about, but they were not emo. The disturbed, slightly sleepy looking boy in the mirror was emo.
Struck by sudden insight, Sasuke sat down, cross-legged and still clad only in boxers on the floor. Perhaps….this was the reason he could not kill Itachi? This "weakness"….was it the result of straying from the honored Uchiha path and falling into the tangled demented forests of emo-ness? Then there was only one option available to him. Glancing at the curse-mark on his shoulder, he winced when he realized that too was black!
Yes…the only choice he had….was to stop being emo! Right this instant!
On the spot he swore a vow of chastity from emo-ness for the rest of his messed-up life.
Then he returned to his closet. The sea of black that met his eyes disgusted him. Tonight there would be some fun target practice for the katon jutsu. But, before sending the brands of emo-ness up in curly smoke, he had to get a new wardrobe! Emo or not, it would simply not do to have him walking around the streets in his boxers. Uchihas were not for everybody's unworthy eyes!
Grudgingly he slipped on black pants, a black shirt, and his wonderfully blue sandals. He'd always liked those sandals.
Good thing Team Seven had no missions for today, because he was on one of his own, and one of more importance than any S-rank in the entire world! (Besides that of the undoubtedly S-rank mission that read "Hunt down and utterly humiliate Uchiha Itachi before killing him with an unimaginably slow and painful technique".)
Mission: Save Uchiha Sasuke had begun!
A/N: Now, that wasn't so bad, was it? Please review...favorable ones may produce more chapters if anyone happens to be interested...