Zombie Apocalypse
An Adam Wesker Crackfic/parody
Zombie survival rules
1. always respect the author
-If you don't respect the author, he will make you get eaten; try bringing him gifts on a regular basis.
2. Always carry your own weight
-If you rely on others, they will fail you; so try relying on yourself a little.
3. Stay in a group
-If you try and survive on your own, you will last about a day or two.
4. If you want to live for more than one chapter, go insane
- the author LOVES to write stories with insanity in them. (for example see Adam vs. Bobert crackfic)
Chapter 1: Beginnings
It all began when the Author ran out of material for his other Crackfic and decided to write about zombies...
1998- Viral outbreak in the Arklay Mountains infects hundreds of umbrella corp. scientists. Only a few years later, the outbreak infects the far away high school, TOVN, not only that but, the infection hit the school ON THE LAST DAY OF FINALS, WTF?
2010- Viral outbreak reaches TOVN, military quarentines the school, but then the guards got distracted by cheerleading practice and the virus escaped, infecting EVERYTHING, except for Utah because the Mormons don't allow viruses, again WTF?
Present Day, TOVN...
Monica walked down the dark c-hallway of TOVN, she was scared, not because of the flesh-eating zombies, but because she didn't finish her final exam.
"I hope that they let me have a re-take..." She said, whilst completely ignoring the former humans trailing her at snail-like speeds.
Her friend Laura walked up next to her.
"Hi Laura, you don't look so good."
"Moan..."
Laura had pieces of flesh missing in several spots on her face and legs, her eyes were rolled over white, jagged teeth jutted out in different directions. She had been infected.
Zombie-Laura grabbed Monica's shoulder and turned her around, so they were face to face with each other.
Monica wrinkled her nose
"Oh my god Laura, didn't I tell you not to have the Mexican taco for lunch yesterday?"
Then several fast moving figures ran down the hallway, dressed in all black. One brought a metal bar down onto the Zombie-Laura, while a shotgun magically appeared in the other's hand.
"Adam?"
"BOOM, HEADSHOT!" Yelled Adam as he blasted Zombie-Laura's head off
"HOLY SHIT, YOU SHOT LAURA!" Yelled the still clueless Monica
"I shot..." Adam looked at the headless Zombie's corpse, "Ha, I guess it was Laura!"
"How can you tell that is Laura, you blew its head off?" asked Lauren, who was the one with the bar.
Adam seemed to consider this for a second, and then pointed the shotgun at Lauren.
"DO NOT QUESTION MY JUDGEMENT!" Yelled Adam
"DO NOT SHOOT ME!" Yelled Lauren
"WTF IS GOING ON?" Yelled Monica
Adam lowered the shotgun and Lauren lowered her arms.
"It seems that a viral outbreak has turned almost everyone in existence into zombies." Explained Adam
"Yeah, were have you been for the last like...day?"
"Idk, I was just taking my final exam and then some people in military outfits showed up and started shooting everyone." explained Monica, "So what happened to the others?"
"I killed Bobert, Laura became a zombie and then I shot her, I mistook Nirali for a zombie and shot her leg: she's in the south cafeteria now, I stabbed Wesker in the eye after he injected me with really cool virus-"
"AIDs?" Interrupted Monica
"No, the W-virus, now I can do this!" Adam disappeared for a second and then reappeared behind Monica and put her in a headlock.
"OW, get off!"
"My bad, force of habit." Said Adam as he released her.
"What about Harry, what happened to Harry?"
"Potter? He got raped by Nirali."
"NO, the other Harry!" Demanded Monica
"Oh, him," Adam forced a smile "I don't know."
"We have to find him!" Said Monica
"Why?" Asked Lauren, "I thought you hated him."
"Yeah, I want to find him so I can kill him myself."
Everyone was quiet for a few seconds, until Adam broke the silence.
"You want to hunt him down and kill him yourself…that's kinda hot."
"Wtf?" asked Monica
"Don't worry," explained Lauren, "He thinks everything is hot."
"That is not true."
"You thought it was hot when I bit your arm!"
"If you keep talking, I will kill you."
Then zombie-Harry walked passed them.
"Oh, there he is." Said Adam as he took out his magic Shotgun
"NO!" yelled Monica as her stood in front of Harry, "He's mine!"
Adam shrugged and walked back towards the south cafeteria, which was their base.
Then zombie-Harry fell down a random staircase and died.
"NOOO, HARRYYYYY!" Yelled Monica, "WHY DID YOU KILL YOURSELF, I WANTED TO KILL YOU!"
"noooo! why!" mimicked Adam, "Done crying?"
Monica held back tears and nodded.
"Then let's go, you don't want to be in this hallway after 7." Explained Adam
Monica turned to Lauren, "What the hell is wrong with him?"
Lauren shrugged, "We think it's from that virus he got injected with."
"AIDs?"
"NO, THE W-VIRUS!" Yelled Adam from fourty feet ahead of them.
"So, who else survived?" asked Monica
"A few others, Rj Cepok, Seamus, Rob Relgne."
"Did you see the new X-Men yet?"
"What?"
"Never mind."
Monica spoke up again, "So it's three girls and four guys?"
"Yeah, we're out numbered." Agreed Lauren, "That's why I've been looking for another girl to join us."
"Did you find any?"
"Just Kelly, She wouldn't shut up so I got Adam to shoot her."
"How many people has Adam killed?"
"Since the outbreak or since birth?"
Chapter one complete, hope you all like it!