From Headcrushin'-villanbuster to…Papa
By: REAddict
Disclaimer: I do not own the TMNT… BUT I do own any other characters mentioned.
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They were outnumbered, four to thirty. The ninja's kept coming like bums at a soup-line. Mikey had at least three of them on his shell and he was trying to clock them in the head with his nunchucks without much success. Suddenly Raph comes out of nowhere, and grabs two in one hand, one in the other and sends them flying into the trash cans. He helps Mikey to his feet, smiling.
"Cowabunga doood!" he mimics.
Mikey smiles at him, brushing off his plastron.
"Thanks dooood."
Leo and Donnie were each kickin heads, dropping the army of the foot, one by one, using their special tactics very carefully, and very wisely. They liked to make their sensei proud. Out of nowhere, Raph comes pummeling into the group, plowing them over like a snowplow in a blizzard.
Raph, now 20-years-old, had grown to be the biggest one of the group, 6'3'' of pure hard muscle, most of which in his head. Not only physically bigger, Raph was the biggest bully, hard-ass, and jughead of the group, according to his brothers. He always made crime-fighting more like an intense episode of WWF. It drove his brothers crazy.
Leo runs up to Raphael who was kicking the shit out of a couple of the foot members.
"Raph you corn-fed son of a bitch, when will you ever learn that there are four of us fighting, not just you."
Raph looks up at Leo, throwing the last two members on the pile. He laughs at Leo.
"As soon as one of you out-grow me, then I'll think about passing the stick." He smirks.
Leo glares at him.
"What about when Daphney pops? What will your children do without a dad, when you get captured by the Shredder and get turned into soup for Rocksteady and Bebop. You have to be careful." He points.
"Puh, Leo, careful is your middle name, not mine."
Donnie and Mikey walk up to the quarreling brothers. This was a common ocurrance and they were used to it.
"Oh Raph.." Donnie sighs.
"Come on dudes, I'm hungry, lets go home." Mikey yawns.
Raph brushes dust off his big ripped legs.
"Yeah and I'm something else that starts with an H, lets split." He laughs.
The three brothers turn around and look at him.
"What I'm homesick, get your minds out of the gutter." He smirks.
But his brothers knew better. They all turn around and start heading for the sewers.
"I don't know how she puts up with a jerkface like him" Leo says as they separate from Raph.
Raph had his own sewer den with his girlfriend Daphney. Even though Splinter looked down upon him for making human interaction, he accepted Daphney as part of the family. What pissed him off was when Raph started missing practices, resulting in Daphney's miraculous pregnancy. Daphney was a short, skinny little thing that Raph saved from being beaten and kidnapped, in an alley, one rainy day. Raph had her move in another den with him so she would be safe. He loved her with all his heart.
He opens the door to the den, making sure Daphney heard him. When she doesn't come out to greet him, he walks into the bedroom, worried. To his relief she is sleeping under the covers. He crawls into the bed and uncovers her slightly. Her swollen belly made him wonder how many were in there. She slowly wakes up and smiles at him sleepily.
"I'm home."
She rolls over and accepts a kiss from him.
"Hi sweetie, sorry I didn't have supper ready, I've been having pains again. I don't feel well."
This makes Raph nervous, as he was for her whole pregnancy. He feels her forehead hoping something wasn't wrong. It is very very hot.
"honey you're burning up, I'm going to call Splinter."
She sits up, putting her hands on her belly.
"No, help me up, I just need to go to the bathroom. I'll be fine."
He helps her up. She awkwardly hobbles up to the bathroom. As soon as she gets into the doorway she turns around, with a weird look on her face.
"Daph, are you…"
Suddenly her water breaks, all over the floor. Raph springs back up from the bed.
"HOLY SHIT! Holy sh…."
He tries to make his way over there, but his head gets light and he faints, hitting his face on the dresser as he falls over, sidways.
"You IDIOT!" Daphney screams in pain.
She slowly crawls over to Raph, all cramped up.
"Come on wake up, wake up, wake up…" She says putting his head on her lap and slapping his cheek.
Raph snaps out of it and looks at Daphney in terror. Suddenly she has a contraction, and sinks to the floor screaming.
"C-call April! What are you waiting for CALL HER!" she screams.
Raph picks Daphney up and gently puts her on the bed. He whips out the turtle com, shaking.
"Yeah Raph?" April says, wiping the sleep from her eyes.
It was one in the morning by now.
"APRIL! Come quick!!! Its happening!!!"
"What's happening??"
In the background Daphney can be heard screaming.
"OHHH! I'm on my way hang tight."
Before April hangs up, Raph drops the turtle com and runs up to Daphney. By then, she was soaked in sweat, and her breathing was frantic.
"What can I do for you sweetie?" he asks, trembling horribly by now.
"Raph, I need water, cold water." She huffs with her eyes closed.
Raph nods and runs into the kitchen. Just as he starts to pour the ice water and make a cold rag, April comes barging through the door with a medical kit.
"Where is she??"
Suddenly Daphney screams from the other room, having another contraction.
"Oh my GOD." She screams in pain.
April goes running into the room instantly. Raph follows her with the rag and water. He runs up to the bed and puts the rag on Daphney's forehead.
"Ok now breath sweetie.", April sooths her.
Raph begins to back up, felling woosy again. Suddenly he falls backwards, cracking the back of his head on the dresser. April's mouth drops.
"Get him out of here..", Daphney pleads.
April whips out the turtle com and calls Donatello.
"April?"
"Yeah Donnie you guys need to get over here fast, your brother needs you."
"Where is he??"
"Laying on the floor.''
"Did Raph drink whiskey again?" Donnie says, putting his hand on his hip.
Donnie recalls the time Raph drank a bunch of Jim Beam and was laying on the floor sticking popcorn kernels up his nostrils while singing Cover of the Rolling Stone.
"No Donnie he fainted, he's going to be a daddy."
"Oh…."
Daphney screams again louder than ever.
"OH!" he says, understanding exactly.
"Yeah hurry."
Donatello hangs up and runs into the living room. Mikey and Leo are watching Jurassic Park for the 47th time.
"YOU GUYS! Daphney is giving birth!!! RAPH FAINTED!!! We're going to be uncles! LET'S GO!"
Mikey and Leo look at each other and spring up with big smiles on their faces.
"GO GET SPLINTER!" Donnie demands.
He and Mikey run out the door with their coats and a box of cigars. Leo walks into Splinters room, who to his surprise, is already getting his coat on.
"Sensei?"
"Yes my son, our Raphael is going to be a father."
"Don't be mad at him. I know he's a jughead, but don't be mad at him."
"Mad at him no, I just think he's a little too young to be learning the lessons of fatherhood."
"Yeah he has a hard enough time learning the meaning of teamwork. And do you remember how long it took for him to potty train?"
"Not as long as Michaelangelo but yeah I know what you mean."
"I think he'll do fine, after he gets through the night, he fainted you know."
"Ohhh boy, he's got the new father syndrome, we better hurry before he hurts himself."
Leonardo nods and walks out the door with his sensei.