Disclaimer: Review. (You all know I don't own it, might as well make this space useful.)
It's funny, the things that run through your head when you're trying to fall asleep at two in the morning after being rudely awakened by an as thoroughly bed-headed as red-headed Ginny complaining that, not only had you woke her up sleep talking, but you were saying the wrong one of her brother's name in your sleep so she couldn't just get Ron to have him hear you moan his name as she threatened to do if you woke her up with it one more time, then demand to know why on Earth you were saying Fred's name repeatedly. I told her that, as I've said countless times before, I have no feelings toward Ron other than friendship and that, if she must know, I've been harboring a secret, burning passion for Fred for years and she went to bed, but I think only because she was too tired to argue, not because she actually believed me. No doubt she'll ask me again tomorrow, but I'm not about to tell her that I dreamt that Fred told Ron I was madly in love with him and Ron was so disgusted he couldn't look at me anymore, so I chased Fred around trying to kill him. Then she'd thing I am madly in love with Ron, though I think she already might. But I'm not madly in love with Ron. I'm not. So Ginny should just put that idea out of her head all together!
I know I should really be getting some sleep, but, the thing is, once I was awake I couldn't stop thinking, and it's keeping me awake. At first I thought about the dream I had just had. I mean, it had to mean something, and it obviously didn't mean I was madly in love with Ron, because I'm not.
After much thinking, I concluded it must mean that I'm afraid of people thinking I'm madly in love with Ron, as Ginny all ready seems to, since I'm not. Especially Ron, I mean, how would he react if he thought I was madly in love with him? He probably would be disgusted. I mean, I'd be kind-of disgusted if Harry was madly in love with me. Not only because of Ginny, but because I think of the guy as, like, my brother, and it would be pretty weird. Ron too, of course. I'd be kind-of disgusted to find out he was in love with me, also, I mean. It's not just Harry, of course. I wouldn't feel any differently if Ron was in love with me then Harry, because I don't feel any differently about Ron then I do Harry, whatever Ginny might think!
But if Harry was in love with me (and Ron, can't forget Ron, since I DO feel the same way about Ron as Harry), I would let him down nicely, though. So, maybe Ron would be nice about it if he found out I was in love with him. Not that I am! I just meant that if he thought I was, maybe he would be nice about letting me down. Because he would let me down. Not that I'd be let down! If anything I'd be relieved, I just mean, he wouldn't do anything else if he found out that I was in love with him (not that I am) like ask me out or anything, because we're just friends. And he couldn't possibly feel more then friendship for me, it's almost as preposterous as me feeling more then friendship for him!
Except, he's not nearly as thoughtful as I am, so he might not be nice about it. I'm not trying to be conceited or anything, but I am more thoughtful then Ron. Not that Ron isn't thoughtful, he just doesn't think to be thoughtful as much. I mean, Ron has good intentions; he'd never try to hurt any of the people he cared about. And there are a lot of people he cares about, he's really caring, and protective, and loyal, and...Oh, right, that wasn't my point, was it? No, my point was, even though he has good intentions, he can be kind-of tactless. So what was the point of making that point again? Oh, right, I was wondering if Ron would be nice about letting me down if he found out I was in love with him. Not that I am! I was just making a point...okay, and what was the point of making that point? Oh, right, I was thinking about my dream and what it could possibly mean if it doesn't mean I'm madly in love with Ron (which it can't mean, because I'm NOT) and I concluded it must mean I'm afraid of everyone thinking I'm madly in love with Ron, when I'm not.
See how all this thinking could keep me awake? And the dream was only the first thing I thought about. Then I started to think about the other dreams I've been having.
First I thought of all the dreams I had about Ron dying. And Harry, too, of course, I've had dreams of him dying also. Admittedly, not nearly as many as I've had of Ron dying, which, I will confess, is a little strange since Harry is much more likely to die, but, after mulling it over for a while, I do believe I've come up with a logical explanation. Since the very first year I knew Harry he was always being thrown into life threatening and some part of me knew that there was a chance he'd die in the end so I'm much more mentally prepared for that possibility then for the possibility of Ron dying. Yes, that must be it.
So, then I thought about the other dreams which caused me to moan Ron's names aloud...it took me a while to come up with an explanation, but I've figured out what it must mean. Ginny thinking that I like Ron as more then just a friend has put in the idea into my head, so even though I know it's not true it's still floating around in there so I think about being more then friends with Ron, even though I don't actually want to be more then friends with him. Not that I think about it a lot, it just popped unto my head from time to time. You know, just wondering, if I was madly in love with him, and I'm NOT, and he felt the same way, and he DOESN'T, but, hypothetically speaking, if we did both feel that way and we did get together, which we WON'T, but if we did, what would it be like? Would we fight as much? Would we fight more? Would Harry feel left out? Would Ginny feel left out? I mean, I know she thinks I'm in love with him, and all (she thinks WRONG, incase you need reminding) but that doesn't mean it wouldn't be weird for her. I mean her brother going out with her friend. Not that that would ever happen.
Though, if her and Harry got back together, and I'm positive they will once the war is over if not before, I think it would take care of the issue of either of them feeling left out.
But, what would that be like? We wouldn't be just a group of friends any more, we'd be two couples. Would it be better? They say it's great to be in love. Not that I am. Would we miss the times when we were all friends, though? I mean, there'd pretty much be no turning back, wouldn't there? Could things ever go back to normal if it turned out it wasn't what we thought it would be like? What if we thought we like being couples, got married, and then, only after being married for some time, did we realize what a mistake it was, and wanted to go back, but it was too late? We'd be stuck being married, unless we got divorced, and what a horrible thought! So, I'd be stuck as Mrs. Ronald Weasley. Mrs. Ronald Weasley...Hermione Jane Weasley...or should I keep my surname? Would Hermione Weasley or Hermione Granger sound better? Or Hermione Weasley-Granger? Or Hermione Granger-Weasley? Hermione Weasley does have something of a ring to it...Mrs. Ronald Billius Weasley...I don't care what he says, I think his middle name is cute, maybe not for someone else but it suits him...Whoa! Well, this just proves my point. Ginny has planted the ridiculous idea in my head that I'm madly in love with Ron, and it's now corrupting my thoughts. So, naturally, with the idea floating around in my head, I would have a few dreams about us kissing...and a few other things...
Plus, raging hormones don't exactly help matters. They're constantly making trouble by causing your breath to catch and your brain to go blank when you see a certain boy when you're not even madly in love with him, or anything, how inconvenient! They cause you to notice how much more handsome he's gotten, how his adorable red hair falls into his gorgeous blue eyes, making you fight internally with the fierce urge to brush it away, and you're desire to leave it exactly as it is...But these are obviously the combined symptoms of ludicrous ideas that have been planted in my head and hormones. What else could it mean? Aside from that I'm madly in love with Ron, which, as we've all ready covered, I'm not.
And that's all the stuff that's been running willy-nilly through my head up until now, like a niffler let loose in Gringotts. That's all of them, and I haven't left any of them out from embarrassment or fear of being thought to be in love with someone I am not love with, really, so don't get any ideas!
AN: Yes, it's pointless, but how am I supposed to control what comes out when I'm half asleep? There's a reason why this is set in the mind of someone who is unable to sleep after being so very RUDELY awakened. Reviews make my mouth stretch in a funny but nice feeling way they tell me is called 'smiling.'