Very weird title I know. I just wanted to really make the allusion to the song.

Anyway, this is a pure "i've had a really crappy past couple of days and am writing this to feel better" fic. Totally overslept and missed my class "field trip", which means that my grade for the whole course goes down one letter grade. The joys of a college block course. I wasn't exactly doing beautifully in the class already...so I'm really stressed and angry about that. Plus, I've been feeling kind of sick all week. Although, it turns out, pretty much my entire suite overslept this morning, (four girls, three of us definately did, not so sure what happened to the other one) so one of them totally missed her first class while my roommate ended up being about an hour late to hers.

So anyway, I felt like writing this to perhaps make myself feel better, so if it's a bit off from my usual style, that's why. I'm not even so sure how good it is...but I'm posting it anyway. Still feel a bit crappy, so another oneshot may be following.

And reviews would maybe make my day a little better, but I'm not going to plead for them since this was a 'releasing my inner angst to achieve emotional catharsis' (as Maddie from TSL so eloquently put it) fic, and not a writing for the sake of writing/enjoyment of others/improve my wiriting fic. So, reviews appriciated, but I understand if you don't because this was NOT written with a totally clear head. I might edit it later when I'm in a better mood though.

Italics are song lyrics. First semi-songfic (not all the lyrics are in here, but maybe like four lines are so it's more quoting so I don't believe that's breaking any rules) for me I guess. The song is "Dirty Little Secret" by the All American Rejects, neither of which (song or band) I own. The song was on and I wanted to write so that's where the stress-releasing fic came from. Although as a warning, technically the line at the end of the fic comes before the ones at the beginning...but using the last line of the song I thought would just be so clichee so I didn't. Again, not a clear head while writing this right now, so if it doesn't make sense, I apologize.

Oh yes, Troy Torture warning. Which was probably guessed from the summary. Sorry Troy, but I've had a bad week...

My Drama Little Secret

By: StillThereForMe (after having a crappy week...)

Those thoughts I can't deny

These sleeping dogs won't lie

Troy Bolton was a good friend.

He'd completely supported his best friend, Chad Danforth, when Chad came out to him. He smiled, patted the boy on his back, and even reached out to shake Ryan's hand and pull the blond boy into a "man hug". Which was incredibly uncomfortable and awkward for both boys involved, but brought a huge smile onto Chad's face so they grinned and bared it.

Troy had even been there when Chad came out to the team, and threateningly glared at anyone who looked like they were about to make a comment or rude jeer. He even had a private conversation with his father after, threatening that if Chad wasn't allowed to stay on the team, he and several other guys were willing to quit until he was. Coach Bolton decided to just support Chad. Coach even had a team meeting to let all the teens know this, and tell them (on Troy's suggestion) that they were going to try and tone down their language in the locker room (aka: no more saying "fag" or "queer" or "fairy" as insults when one of the guys weren't doing well).

Of course, not too long after this, all of East High seemed to know about Ryan and Chad. But Troy still openly stuck by his best friend, walking with him in the halls as protection and whenever any of their "bright" students decided to try and pull a prank or insult about Chad, Troy was the first to jump to his best friend's defense. No matter what that meant, Troy didn't let anyone get away with writing things on Chad's locker, forcing him to drop his books, or calling him any suggestive or insulting names. Troy even rose to Ryan's defense as well. Although that was more awkward for him to do, Troy was a good friend. So much so, that since any close-minded peers eventually became too scared of Troy (and by association, the entire basketball team, as well as the brainiacs and drama department) to the point that Ryan and Chad could be publicly affectionate without much fear of backlash. Holding hands in the hallway, touching each other's arms, a quick peck on the cheek between classes wouldn't be met with any open opposition, and so the boys happily participated in those activities, which were so much more than they'd thought they'd ever be able to do in public. Even at lunch, where the drama club table had relocated to merge with the jock's table (which was far too large for just them anyway) and part of the brainiacs had as well, Ryan and Chad sat next to eachother—a good portion of the lunch period spent with Ryan leaning his head to rest on Chad's shoulder and the two boys whispering to each other things that caused them both to giggle and blush. Taylor had once commented to the others (as the couple in question was often too preoccupied to notice or remember the other people at the table) with a laugh that Ryan and Chad acted more like a couple than any of the heterosexual (and more widely accepted) relationships in their little group did.

Of course, the majority of their close friends were very proud of Troy sticking up so much for Chad and Ryan. Gabriella informed him that it really showed how wonderful and great a person he was. Jason and Zeke agreed that it was proof that Troy was "the greatest team captain in the history of ever." Martha and Kelsi joked that it was Troy really staying true to the idea not sticking to the status quo. Chad told Troy privately that it was the best thing his friend had ever done for him, and that he had never been more grateful to have met Troy. Sharpay even said that Troy's reaction was "unexpectedly impressive". Troy still wasn't exactly sure what she meant by that.

It wasn't until after several weeks into the new school year that Troy was sure he was doing the right thing though.

It was after a basketball practice, which Ryan normally attended to watch his boyfriend "run around sweaty and give him ideas" or so he claimed. Most of the team didn't mind him watching and were friendly to him (those who weren't simply ignored Ryan). Ryan and Chad were going out on a date afterwards, though Troy wasn't sure exactly of when and where, only that he and Gabriella were apparently going too. After practice had ended and Ryan came up to them to tell Chad how amazing he was as always, he asked Chad if he could speak with Troy privately for a few minutes. Trusting as always, Chad readily agreed and said he'd get changed in the meantime and would wait for Ryan outside the gym. And with a quick wave to his best friend and soft kiss with his boyfriend, Chad energetically rushed to the locker room and the other two boys made their way to a still-empty classroom not too far from the gym.

Troy was a bit nervous and worried about what Ryan wanted to do with him alone, though in retrospect he supposed he did have an idea in the back of his mind that he just refused to acknowledge at that time.

The glittery-dressed boy shut the door and slowly turned to the jock still dressed in his basketball uniform. Troy was actually surprised to see Ryan looked just about as nervous as he probably did about this. It was surprising, because the two had been locked in empty rooms together before and Ryan had never appeared the least bit anxious any of those times. In fact, he was usually overly comfortable and confident about it.

"Troy…" Ryan began awkwardly, unable to meet the playmaker's eyes at first. "I just wanted to say…thanks. For supporting Chad and everything."

"Oh, no problem." Troy nodded hesitantly. "I mean, there are a bunch of jerks and close-minded people in the school, so I wanted to—"

"That's not what I meant," Ryan laughed a bit nervously, bringing a hand to his own shoulder in a jittery gesture. "Although I mean, I'm thankful for that too don't get me wrong. But…I meant about…well, not telling Chad about…"

"Oh," Troy's stomach dropped at the memories he'd been avoiding since Chad had come out. "You mean…about…us."

"Yeah."

"And…what we did in the guys dressing room during rehearsals and Twinkle Town shows…"

"Yeah."

"And at my house after school…"

"Yes, Troy."

"And when I started working at Lava Springs…"

"Troy!" Ryan yelled a bit annoyed grabbing his attention, and the basketball captain realized he'd been rambling.

"Sorry, I just…have been really trying not to think of all of that since you and Chad…" Troy tried to explain cumbersomely, and ran his hand through his hair nervously.

Ryan looked to the ground, almost in embarrassment at the statement. "Yeah, me too."

"But I mean…it's not that big a deal. I mean, I'm assuming you already broke up with that other guy…Jake or whatever, before you started dating Chad right?" The brown haired teen tried to move the painful conversation along.

"Jess, and yeah, we broke up in the beginning of the summer, right after school ended." Ryan nodded, bringing his gaze back up at Troy.

"Any reason why…?"

Ryan smiled a bit knowingly. "Just…wasn't that interested in him anymore."

"Oh, I see," Troy chuckled a bit, blushing. "I probably should've guessed that."

"Yeah," Ryan nodded with a smile, which faded as a silence stretched slowly across the room once again.

"Well…I mean, it's not like we were anything official or whatever." Troy tried again, though he would rather be having his teeth pulled. Ryan nodded in agreement and for him to continue. "I mean, it was just a one-time thing…that just happened again…and again…and again…actually a lot afterwards…"

"Troy." Ryan interrupted his rambling.

"What I mean is that it's not like it was a relationship." Troy simplified himself and tried to shut up.

"So it was like…fuck buddies?" Ryan attempted to define.

Troy scrunched his nose at Ryan's phrasing of the two of them, making a face like he was tasting something better. "Was that what is was? That sounds so…I don't know, I thought it was more like…what's it called…friends with benefits or whatever?"

"We weren't friends," Ryan quickly reminded the jock.

"Good point," Troy readily agreed and wracked his mind for some other explanation. "I guess…just a bunch of one-night-stands…although that doesn't make much sense and most of the…things…we did weren't really at night…"

"Well, whatever we'd be labeled," Ryan immediately cut Toy off short when he realized the boy was about to ramble again. He tried to get the basketball captain back on track with the conversation. "It's not a big deal because…?"

"Well, I mean you wanted to stop it when you and Chad started getting close…and we didn't do anything when you two started dating—you and me didn't do anything while two were dating right?" Troy double-checked for clarification.

"No, the last time we hooked up was way before me and Chad started going out. You were busy with Sharpay and I was pissed at you remember?"

"Oh, right."

"And then you wanted to make things up with Gabriella anyway after that…?"

"Yeah, I remember." Troy brushed aside the unpleasant topic. Trying to stay on subject which both boys were apparently having trouble doing, he continued "and you haven't hooked up with any other guys since you started going out with Chad, right?"

"Actually, no." Ryan smiled with a distant look on his face. "Which is a first for me…"

"Aw, come on." Troy laughed a little at the other boy's low view of himself and playfully hit the side of the blond's arm. "I think you're better than that."

"No, it really is a first." Ryan chuckled a bit, shaking his head to say that his statement was true. "The other guys in Drama club keep looking at me weird because I haven't really been hitting on any of them at all this year. They probably think something's wrong with me…"

"Oh, so Ryan's known as the Drama Club's little manwhore?" Troy teased awkwardly with a forced laugh.

Ryan rolled his eyes at Troy's bad joke. "It's just…I really, really like Chad. He's funny, and cute and I just…I feel so close to him I guess. It's not really all about the sex. Not that I ever minded before when it was all about sex with other guys, but…I don't know, I just like that there's more to it with Chad. Kind of like I guess when they say you don't realize what you're missing until you try it. Although the sex is definitely good with him too…but, he's like, the first serious boyfriend I've had in…years. Or at least it feels like years, I've just been so used to open fun relationships lately I guess. I just…I don't want to screw it up. I really like him. And I've been scared as shit lately that something I did before is going to come up and ruin it."

"Well…I don't think he really needs to know about it. I mean, we both really don't think it meant anything for one, and it's not like we even did it while the two of you were dating, and you're not cheating on him with anyone else right now, so there's no reason for him to know really. Plus, if you don't tell him, then I don't have to tell Gabriella so…I guess I'm not giving an unbiased opinion…" Troy forced a laugh again as guilt he'd been putting off for months started making him feel sick.

"Gabriella, shit…" Ryan let out a frustrated groan and pulled his hat off to grip his hair with his hand. "I didn't even think about her."

"Although, if you want to tell Chad about…what we did…I won't deny it. I should probably talk to her about it anyway. I kept meaning to, but after what happened with her quitting and getting upset over Sharpay and everything…I guess I've just been putting it off and waiting for the right time to tell her. Although I guess there's never a 'right time' to just say 'oh and by the way, I sorta slept with another guy a couple of times right after we started dating, but don't worry it doesn't mean anything.' Yeah, I don't think that she's gonna be so accepting about it."

"It's so weird, I mean it doesn't feel like a big deal. I mean, I don't think it should be considered 'cheating' on Gabriella since it really didn't mean anything, now or at the time. It was just for fun and stuff. I don't feel guilty about that. I don't think it's such a horrible thing at all. But when I think of telling anybody else about it like Chad…" Ryan trailed off.

"…I feel like throwing up. I know what you mean." Troy nodded grimly. "I understand it, you understand it, but I'm not so sure anyone else will get it. At least not until we can explain it a little better."

"Yeah." Ryan chuckled dryly in agreement. "I think you're right."

"So…do you want to tell Chad anyway? I'll just go along with whatever you want to do." Troy decided, looking up at the other and crossing his arms since he didn't have any pockets in his basketball shorts to shove his hands into.

Ryan bit his lip in concentration before answering. "…I don't know. I mean, I want to tell him, I mean that's probably the right thing to do, tell Chad and Gabriella. But…I don't want to do it just yet. Maybe I'm just putting it off, but I actually feel a lot better about this after talking to you even though it didn't get anywhere." Ryan chuckled lightly as he finished.

"Yeah, me too. I guess just having it out there in the open for now…"

"Yeah." Ryan nodded and looked up at Troy. "But don't worry—I promise I'll warn you beforehand if I end up wanting to tell him."

"Thanks." Troy answered sarcastically before laughing. "Seriously though…at the moment, I honestly don't think we need to tell anybody. If it didn't mean anything really to either of us, I don't think it's anything to be ashamed of or confessed. Especially since we're not doing it anymore."

"Oh, you haven't been picking up any other boys since me?" Ryan teased lightly.

Troy just looked at him seriously. "Ha ha. No, I haven't looked at anyone else but Gabs since we stopped…whatever we were at the beginning of the summer. Which is why again, I really don't think we need to tell anyone else about it."

"At least for now, yeah. I think you're right." Ryan nodded, a bit more confidently. "I mean, why bring up stuff that's already over just to make problems? As long as we don't deny it, I mean, what're we really doing wrong? ….at least for now."

"Right." Troy nodded back. "So…we done in here then?"

"Yeah, I better go meet Chad."

"And I better go change before the locker room gets…locked."

Ryan giggled before suddenly turning to bring Troy into a platonic hug that was much less awkward than the one Troy had given him when Ryan and Chad had come out to Troy.

"…Thanks again Troy. I really mean it." Ryan explained seriously.

"Just don't hurt him, okay?" Troy smiled.

Ryan let out a small chuckling, and a tiny smile grew across his face at the irony of Troy's request after the conversation they'd just had.

"I wasn't planning on it."

You are the only one that needs to know…
So, I hope my stress-relieving fic was bareable. I'm sorry if it wasn't but thanks for reading anyway.

Any constructive criticism or pleasant review is always welcome. I'll probably edit this some other time when I'm in a better mood. I do know have a lot of new chapters and fics on my to-read-and-review list from authors I know read my fics so I'm apologizing right now that I haven't yet and I don't expect you to review this from me since I haven't reviewed yours yet (although I would be very happily surprised if you did) but I promise my work shift later today/early tomarrow (4-8 AM) that's probably what I'll be doing the entire time so I promise I will be getting to all of them. It's just been a bad week for me.

Probably going to write up another new oneshot since my mood hasn't improved that much...like i said though, reviews more than welcome.