Ch 1:" Every man is afraid of something. That's how you know he's in love with you;

When he's afraid of losing you"

A/N:

Stephenie meyer owns all twilight characters and twilight plot lines that may appear in this remainder is my original work.

summary:

Edward and Bella, the PERFECT LOVE. YOU SURE?No love is perfect and that simple.

Edward and Bella vowed for eternity but what happens when Bella's guilt from past is now haunting their their love survive?or is it end of their eternity?

continuation of Breaking Dawn!

A/N:It's my first story please review but don't be too harsh on me :D

I couldn't believe how fast the days were rolling by. There was a time when I eagerly awaited for this day. Between the lectures in school I would be busy planning for it...the excitement was always too difficult to suppress. No…but not this year.

11th July…my EDWARD'S BIRTHDAY…I remember his last birthday...back when I was still human...I had surprised him with a party.(not an easy thing to do since he could read minds of all people and so telling them about it was totally out.) I was so relieved that he couldn't read my mind. I had done all the arrangements at the very final day when I sent Alice and Edward for hunting, so Alice wouldn't see the future of what was going to happen. The plan was too risky but was a grand success...I threw the party at my home...he stood at the door and stared at the arrangements for so long that I thought maybe I had missed something but then he slowly turned toward me and stared at me with such adoring eyes that my heart skipped a beat. He slowly murmured, "Wow bella! When did you…really love you shouldn't have… "

I simply smiled and answered, "I love you."

Everybody greeted him later with gifts...and since we are talking about the 'Cullen's' …the gifts were... A brand new piano from Carlisle and Esme ...emmett and jasper had given him his favorite car-Austin martin vanquish...Alice and rose had given him 5 carat diamond ring…

I had prepared myself as I knew they were going to go overboard, but still I couldn't help myself but feel self-conscious. For the Cullen's -money was next to absolutely nothing..It was just some million of rupees that piled up in their house and in the banks all over the world…

Even though Edward couldn't read my mind, he could very well read my face. He leaned and whispered in my ears, "Bella, you have given me the most precious thing in the world."

I glared at him and said, "oh yeah? May I know what that is?" he brushed his lips along my jaw and whispered "YOU!"

This year was not the same…this time was not the same. In place of excitement there was dread fear...fear of losing the reason I existed….for fear of losing my Edward. This year he did ask me something...He asked me to open my mind so that he could read it...he wanted to see every passing minute of my past when I was human...back to the time when we had not even met... The time when I lived with my mother in phoenix. This could have been absolutely impossible if I was still human…But now I could let him read my mind by pushing the shield (the thing that was protecting my thoughts) away from me .It was something he had wished for from the very first day we had met…

From the day we had realized that we are in love we had made a point to not hide anything from each other...we shared every important and minute detail of our life with each other..Each vulnerability was unlocked, every secret was spilled…almost every secret. There was one piece of my past I hadn't disclosed...the past I would give anything in the world to change….

And this birthday, it was time I unlock it…

I lay in my bed watching my angel-my Renesmee sleeping. Time was playing some trick on me. My baby who was born just a year ago is matured enough to go to high school in forks now…my Nessie was special; She was half human half vampire…not one of a kind but certainly very rare. I looked at the watch…it was 3am. Edward had gone for hunting with Alice and jasper. Usually I, Edward, Jake and nessie go together but today I insisted him to go without others…I needed time to prepare myself; tomorrow was his birthday. I had no idea how I was going face him or how he was going react when I give him his birthday present.

We had fought the cruel world who wanted to separate us time and time again. We fought it because we were together. Our love was enough to fight the fate. But this time... it was different...

He would know that I had cheated on him…

The sound of door opening startled me. Getting startled was almost impossible for a vampire (what with the 1000 times more powerful senses than human) but I was so wrapped up in my tense little bubble that may be I was creating a new history in vampire world..

It was Jacob who had come inside.

"Hi Jake, what are you doing up so early?" he closed the door behind him quietly.

"I heard Edward is hunting...I thought I should make best of the opportunity. That guy hardly leaves you alone." He rolled his eyes.

I looked at him puzzled. "What do you mean?"

"I meant we have something to talk!" he said exasperatedly.

He came to my side, kissed Renesmee on forehead and motioned me too follow him. He led me to mine and Edward's room and sat on ground besides the bed. I sat near him and we both were quiet. I waited for him to start. "Ok Bella, here's the thing…since the day Mr. almost 110 year old man asked you to spill the beans of your past … you are acting super weird! As if somebody has asked you for a murder confession or something. Will you be very kind to explain what the hell is wrong with you?!"

Damn Jacob. Why does this dog know me so well? It's like he has some stupid gift of reading my face without the vampire superpowers...

"Jake, it's nothing. I was just thinking how to surprise him this time you know...I think in past I have used all my tricks so I think I need to come with something innovative." I babbled and tried to laugh careful that my voice wouldn't shake. It wasn't a very good act as Jacob was now glaring at me.

"Bullshit! U really suck at lying Bella!"

I scowled at him. No amount of acting practice will ever work on Jacob. He is my best friend. He knows me more than any one on earth, may be even better than I know myself. I always shared all my problems with him without any second thought. With him I was a different Bella. We were two best friends who on occasion would do something really stupid without any good reason. I trusted this guy as much as I trusted my hubby. It was this trust that had once given me the strength to leave nessie forever with him since Cullen family was busy planning to sacrifice their life for my little angel from the volturi... but this wasn't the same thing. This was one secret I could never make myself tell him. Not for the fear that he would tell it to Edward...but for the fear that he would be disgusted with me….

Jacob stared at my torture expression and he became instantly serious. He took my hand in his and quietly asked, "what's wrong bells? You can trust me. you know that right?"

"I know…"

"Then what's the problem?"

"Jake...will you promise me that... I will always be your best friend?"

"What kind of an idiotic question is that? Of course you are my best friend and…!"

"will you always love me Jacob no matter what?"

"Bella…what the….."

"just answer me Jacob."

Jacob's dark black eyes stared at me…. "you will always be my best friend and I will always love you no matter what!"

He took me in his arms and hugged me tightly. Not even flinching from my cold skin or my vampire odor which he always complained to be disgusting for him... We quietly lay their each wrapped in our own thoughts.

It was seven in the morning. I could hear Edward entering the house. Jacob had fallen asleep on my shoulders but I did not wake him up. I was strangely comforted by his presence. Even though werewolves do have their own dog smell which disgust our nose, but Jacob's warm presence was very comforting so I did not mind so much.

Edward came to my room. He appraised the room and grinned. "What is the wolf doing here so early?" Before I could answer he turned his head where nessie was asleep and answered his own question with a grimace. I could understand why. Even though Edward and Jacob really started liking each other, Edward was still averse to the fact that Jacob had imprinted on his baby daughter. Even I wasn't really thrilled with this but we all had to grudgingly accept the fact that Jacob loved and could protect nessie better than any human on the earth.

"Hey, how was hunting?"

"it was all right. Missed you love. Why didn't you come with me yesterday?"

I tried to crack my brain for answer. Thank god our little talk woke Jacob. He stirred and his head fell on my lap.

"What, what?" he looked around puzzled.

"Hey sleepy head" I said smiling. He blinked and then started glaring at me. I knew why; yesterday instead of answering his question I just kept stalling until he fell asleep.

"Hey guys, morning!" Renesmee greeted walking to our room.

"Jake! What are you doing here so early?"

Jacob rolled his eyes "I may be answering this question for the hundredth time" he muttered.

"Oh! Just come to hear your snoring."

"oh ya? you listen to me dog, I don't ..."

I tried to change the subject before they get into dirty fight.

"Guys aren't you two getting late for school? Common Nessie hurry up!"

I knew they weren't going to go to school today. They were going to stay at Cullen's to make arrangements for tomorrow. It was very good that nessie and Jake both were pretty good at hiding their thoughts from Edward. And like her father Nessie was excellent in acting. They quickly said their goodbyes and headed at Cullen's. Edward noticed I hadn't moved.

"What are you waiting for? let's go!"

"Err... Edward" I went to his side "Do you mind if we spend the whole day together here...alone?

" he looked at me with confused eyes. It was Alice's idea to keep Edward out of the house today. But to be honest I wanted this more than anything. Tomorrow was his birthdays. I really really did not want to think this way but….what if today was the last day we had together? What if...what if he decided he was disgustd with me and was not interested in spending the rest of the eternity with a cheater like me?

"I…I just" I looked into his eyes and gulped "Edward I just missed you... a lot" He smiled my favorite crooked smile and hugged me tightly.

"if this is the reaction to me leaving you just for one day...may be I should do this often" he said a smile in his voice.

I was instantly dreaded "don't…don't leave me please" I whispered.

He looked at my eyes sensing the change in my voice. "Bella, I was just kidding! Are you all right love?"

"Ya... just fine" I tried to laugh.

"Why don't we go home now? Emmett and I are going to have a wrestling match. I just can't wait to win again." He grinned.

"No Edward, I told you; I want to spend the whole day with you…alone…I...I want you!"

His eyes widened "love, we have whole night for that. You know I was waiting for this rematch for so long it was feeling like an eternity!" he chuckled.

"Ok, so a wrestling match is more important than me?" I almost growled. I wasn't really angry. But I was sure at least this trick was sure going to work. I wasn't going to share with him with anybody today. He was mine; all mine. I wanted to love him, love him like nobody has ever loved anybody.

He was shocked from my tone "No sweetheart I did not mean…"

"Fine then you go…I am just going to wait for you until your precious match gets over."

He sighed. "You are honestly behaving weird today...Ok fine! Scouts honor" he grinned and leaned forward to kiss me. I pushed back.

Time to play games….

"Nope, not in mood now…Thank you very much. Now leave!"

"Bella…"

"Leave! I am not going to make love with you for a month now! And you can't budge me in to this"

He looked in to my eyes and said huskily "hmm…are you challenging me sweetheart"

"You bet I am!"

He was watching me intently, carefully, but there was humor deep in his eyes. He placed his hands against the door on either side of my head and leaned forward, forcing me to press against the door. He leaned in even closer, his face inches from mine. I had no room to escape.

"Now," he breathed, and just his smell disturbed my thoughts process, "what were you saying Mrs. Cullen?"

"That…Um I don't want to make love...with you?" It felt like a question.

"Don't you?" a smile in his voice.

Then he bent his head down and touched his cold lips softly to the hollow of my throat.

"And now?" his nose drew a line up the skin of my throat to the point of my chin. His cold breath tickled my skin. He then lifted his face to kiss my eyelids slowly moving down my cheek, stopping just at the corner of my mouth. His lips brushed my trembling lower lip. "Bella, are you sure you don't want this!"

"No…"I sighed.

He took my face in his hands almost roughly, and kissed me in earnest, his unyielding lips moving against mine. Suddenly he picked me up in his arms and threw us on the bed.