'Sup guys! This is just an idea that popped into my head. It's different, at least for me, so I hope it works okay. Let me know what you think!
Disclaimer: It is with a heavy heart that I must admit that the exclusive ownership rights of Castle do not belong to me at this current moment in time.
One drink. No two. Maybe three. But that's IT. Kate set her limit as she walked in the door of her home and kicked off her heals. She felt so alone. She began turning on lights, the large, empty space was mocking her, mocking her solitude. This feeling was easier to handle when she really was alone in a crappy little apartment. But here, in his loft, everything reminded her of him, even though he couldn't be here. He would never be here.
The thoughts cut into her like steel blades. She poured herself her first drink. Scotch. His favorite. She missed him so much. She misses the way he smiled at her and the way his face lit up over the tiniest things, the way he looked at her and touched her, his coffee and his kisses, his everything.
But he hasn't looked at her in three months. He hasn't touched her, kissed her, or even smiled at her. You see, he's in a coma.
Knocking back the last of the burning liquid in the glass, she relived that fatal day…
"Rick, you need to stay in the car this time," Kate warned as she strapped on her bulletproof vest. This situation was far more dangerous than she would ever let him get himself into. No way. Not this time. Those bastards inside this warehouse could shoot at her all they liked, but if the ever hurt Rick, she would kill them all one by one – slowly.
"I thought I was Castle in public?" Rick teased to diffuse the situation a little. He couldn't let her go in there on her own, they'd already shot her once after all!
"Please Castle, they've already killed my mother and tried to kill me. I'm not going to give them the same chance for you."
"Kate, I can't give them a second chance on you. I can't. I watched you die once already, and I swore I'd never give them another chance when I started working in this thing on my own." Kate had known about Castle's secret case work for about six months, ever since they started dating, all their secrets came out. They moved fast as a couple, running together, not wasting any time. She moved into his loft three months ago, and last night, last night Rick proposed. He told her to think about it first, though, not to answer right away.
"Fine. You can come, but you have to stay back, okay? Let me take the lead."
With his nod, Kate started into the alley that led into the warehouse where the killers hid. Kate had just reached for the door when Castle tackled her to the ground. A deafening explosion sounded. They literally missed it by inches, and then the shower of bullets rained down on the couple from the second floor of the warehouse. Beckett shot blindly upwards at the attackers. One by one, she shot the assailants. Only then, after there was complete silence in the alley, did she turn to look at her partner and lover to see his badly mangled body bleeding out in an alley. He couldn't die on her! He couldn't! NO!
Kate poured another drink, remembering the doctor's diagnosis: "under control, but most likely permanent." She never even told him "yes." She never got the chance. Every now and then, she would pull out the ring he bought for her. She'd hold it in her hand and picture what it'd be like to wear it, a token of their love. She refused to try it on, though, because Rick deserved that right to be the first one to slip that ring onto her finger. When he wakes up that is…
Just then, Martha walked in, noticing the tears and quickly disappearing alcohol, she rushed towards Kate, knowing that she needed someone.
"Kate, darling, bad day?" she enveloped Kate in a hug, knowing all too well the loneliness Kate felt in the loft without Rick. It was one of the reasons she asked Kate to stay after the shooting, with Alexis at college, the loft would be a barren desert alone. Another was so she could watch over Kate for moments like these. Martha remembered coming home the day after the shooting like it was yesterday.
"Kate, honey, I brought you some dinner, Richard always says you forget to eat when you're stressed." Martha filed into the loft carrying Mac & Cheese – comfort food. She looked around, searching for Kate, but finding nothing but darkness. Listening carefully, she heard muffled noises coming from Richard and Kate's bedroom. She slowly approached the door, but when she heard the crying, pushed open the ajar door to see a ragged Kate, her gun to her temple.
"Kate, get that out of your hands now!"
Looking back on it, she should have said something calmer and more thought out, but hey, she was still alive.
"Martha, it's my fault. I've ruined Rick's life, my life, Alexis', and yours. How can you tell me not to do this? How can you not hate me and wish me dead or in his place? I know I do…"
"Honey, you haven't ruined our lives, and I don't hate you. You've become like a daughter to me, and I know I cannot replace your mother – I don't want to – but, you should know that I care about you very much, Katherine Beckett, and yes, what happened was awful, but I would never wish the same upon you, dear."
With that, Kate lowered her gun and collapsed onto the bed, sobbing uncontrollably – grieving.
Kate did that a lot these days. She cried. It was a whole new thing. She probably cried more in the past three months than the last twenty years. She tried to hide it, but nights like these, Martha's quiet embrace was the best thing in the world. When the comforting hug ended, she went to pour herself another drink, her third and final. She would not become an alcoholic like her father, so she always set a limit. Martha stopped her before Kate could knock back that third miserable glass of Scotch.
"Just remember, darling, drink to celebrate the good times, not to wash away the bad."
With a final raise of her eyebrows, and a flourish of her hand, Martha left the upset woman to herself once more, trusting in the all mighty strength of Detective Katherine Beckett to get her through this. They all missed Rick and still visited him every day (well except Alexis, who had to return to college, but came home when she could), Kate was just taking it really badly because of her guilt and unspoken feelings.
Alone again, Kate took Martha's advice to heart, mainly because the empty hole in her chest physically hurt and she needed a brief break from the pain. Running with the first happy memory that came to mind, she remembered their first night together after she returned his sentiments of love.
"Say it again!" That was about the five billionth time Rick asked her to say it that night. It was still so new, and fresh, and wonderful, that he couldn't help but want to hear it. And when Kate saw Rick's child-like enthusiasm, she really couldn't refuse.
Leaning in closely, too close, but they enjoyed that new and wonderful part of their relationship just as much, she whispered, "I love you too, Writer-Boy."
Then she took his earlobe into her mouth and gently bit it in an alluring gesture, rather than her usual punishing one. Rick groaned and choked out, "Man. Writer-Man."
Kate stopped her assault on Rick's ear and neck to look him directly in the eye, "Prove it," she simply stated.
"Hmm…" Rick pressed a light kiss on her lips and when he pulled away, his face was jovial; "why don't you prove you love me?"
Kate's cheery expression mirrored Rick's as she looked back to him and said, "you first."
And from then on, it was a race. A competition to prove how much they loved each other. Their tongues battled for dominance as they saw which could strip the other one faster. Their mouths raced to explore the other's bodies completely. Their minds raced to catalogue each sensitive spot, filing it away for later use. They raced to heighten the other's pleasure, make them squirm in anticipation.
Then, when he finally entered her, it no longer was a race anymore. It was genuine love making. In and out, in and out, thrust for thrust, together, give and take, partners.
When they could no longer wait any longer (and that's what this night was all about, no longer waiting), they both gave in, fell over the edge into an eternity of bliss, of everything good in the world.
Kate found herself smiling at the happy memory. A smile? She'd almost forgotten how to do that after months of guilt, regret, pain, and solitude. Just then, her phone rang.
"Beckett."
"Yes, Detective Beckett, it's Dr. Stanislav. We have some news regarding Mr. Castle. He's awake."