Fan Fiction Prologue: PRESENT TENSE

This story begins on a cold, gloomy day when the streets are flooded; rain pouring down from the dark storm clouds looming above. Splattering against the pavement with force, coating the pavement with a glistening, wet layer of rainwater, the rain falls, delaying traffic and enveloping people its chilling, unfriendly grasp.

People huddle under umbrellas, shoes sloshing in muddle puddles as they hurry on their way.

In this place, there sits a small, red-bricked school, run-down and dull. In this school, sitting at their desks, just sitting, are our five protagonists.

And so begins our ridiculous tale of why anime, Mary-Sues and the real world should never collide...

Chapter 1: The New Sue

Emily Elliott

I sit at my desk, feeling incredibly bored, listening to Mrs Teliot, my rather dumb teacher drone on and on about something called, in her perspective, English. Well, to cut a long story really short, I sucked at it. I stare at my friends, who, instead of listening, are sleeping due to boredom, drawing, or yabbering about a game called Touhou. I suppress a great urge to laugh at Celia Carter, the sleeping one, as she really does look ridiculous with her mouth wide open.

Just then, Mrs Teliot strolls over. "Celia!" whispers Bella Belle, hurriedly waking her friend from her nap. "Uh?" Celia grumbles. She then spots Mrs Teliot, before sitting up straight, eyes narrowed and glaring. Insta-Hate, as Bella calls it, it being whenever Celia sees Mrs Teliot. Alice Ashley, who is doodling anime characters at a rapid pace, hastily stows her drawing pad under her desk.

Well, Mrs Teliot is actually too dumb to see any of that, so there's really no need for all the precautions, but still. Mrs Teliot turns on her heels a step away from us, and raises her hands into the air. "Today, class, we have a new girl! I hope you will all make her feel welcome! And, here she is now!" she sand shrilly.

Everyone stares hard at her, trying to figure out if she seriously kissed her own parents with that mouth. As we are about to make a conclusion, the strong smell of very expensive (and icky) perfume floods the room, interrupting everyone's train of thoughts,

"Now I know why they call it Eau de Toilet..." chokes Bella.

When the new girl steps in, I immediately sense something very, very, very wrong. In Hie Scroul High School, we have to wear standard grey uniforms. This girl, however, is wearing a short black miniskirt and a revealing top. Her hair is dyed navy blue with multi-coloured streaks. (She would later on claim it was natural.) She wears knee-high platform boots, and large earrings. "Hello," she says, in a voice sweet and melodious, "My names Stellaluna-Aura Moonbeam Darke Nowforthesurnamechuckinabunchofjapanesesoundingwor ds-Sushicomesinthebentosetmeal Hondacivic."

She pauses.

"Pronoced Stellaluna-Aura Moonbeam Darke Yumei."

How can a twenty-nine syallable surname be pronounced as a two syallable surname? Someone tell me? Please?

I also notice how everyone esle in the class has glazed over eyes and is nodding appreciately and smiling brightly. "I will nw giv a speach." says Stellaluna-Aura, to many cheers.

"I am soooo looking 4ward 2 havin fun w/ all of u guys this ear. or shld i say girls ahaha lol so funny rite i jus told a joke!LOLOLOLOL!OMGGGGGGG!"

Everyone bursts into laughter except for myself as well as my friends. It seems that the five of us, the most unintelligent in class, have been saved from Stellaluna-Aura's charms by our stupidity! Who would've thought? I wasn't sure how it worked that way, though. (I just said we were the most unintelligent...)

Furrowing my brow, I think really, really hard to figure it out, before I decide that, okay, I'm just too dumb to know, and as long it is works I'll be fine so I don't really care either way.

Just as I look up, Mrs Teliot is assigning Stellaluna-Aura a seat. And I realise, the only seat available is next me...I mean, us...I mean...whichever one is plural...

Juuuust my luck. Why on Earth did I go and choose this desk?! I must be JINXED by, uh..., Stellaluna-Aura Moonbeam Darke Nowforthesurnamechuckinabunchofjapanesesoudingword s-Sushicomesinabentosetmeal Hondacivic's epic jinx powers! I think that's correct...Her name is kind of...Unique...Not in a good way at all.

"F*** my life." utters Celia.

Stellaluna-Aura gasps, "ONE MUST NOT SWEAR!"

*FACEPALM*