Twice

Rating: PG-13 on my scale.

Summary: Wonder Woman and Clark have a talk about Bruce, Lex, barns, and what might have beens.

Genre: Vignette. Obviously a future fic.

Disclaimer: I own nothing and no one. All is owned by much richer and sometimes wiser people.

A/N: Sort of a crossover with Justice League Unlimited. What if the Clark in Smallville was the same one that had done battle with the Justice Lords? Takes place right after the JLU episode "Doomsday Sanction."

A/N, II: I don't actually think that Clark is the reason Lex is/will be evil. The story is supposed to be a very skewed perspective piece, as told to Diana through a very guilt-ridden Clark. I think it is keeping in character with Supes, if he had known Lex at the age he does in Smallville, to wonder in later years if he could have done more. Particularly after the Doomsday Sanction/Battle with the Justice Lords.

There were times when Diana truly missed Themyscira. As much as she had once longed to leave the island, Diana could now appreciate the fact that her homeland had been devoid of men. Or, more specifically, moody men. That had certainly changed. Because now she had the monumental task of maintaining friendships with Clark Kent and Bruce Wayne, both of whom continually redefined the term "moody."

As she flew closer to The Fortress of Solitude, Diana admitted that, at least this time, Clark had the right to be moody. The Amazon Princess' expression darkened when she considered Bruce's most recent actions - and words.

"Spoken like a true Justice Lord."

"You don't get to joke today. I took a bullet for you!"

Well, no one told Bruce to develop a martyr complex, now did they? Diana certainly understood Bruce's horror at meeting their Justice Lord counterparts. But, for the love of Hera, he wasn't the only one. And whatever fear he was harboring didn't quite give him a pass to take out his anger on Clark. Especially not following a battle with one of the few enemies that stood a good chance of actually killing Superman. Not to mention, what were they actually supposed to do with Doomsday, other than send him to the Phantom Zone? Hand him off to the very government that had created him in the first place? Diana's frown deepened, and she contemplated changing course to go off and be moody herself.

As The Fortress of Solitude came into view, however, she changed her mind. Bruce's mood swings might have placed him outside of her ability to help, but Clark needed her too, and Diana was determined to help at least one of them today.

The door opened easily when she arrived, and Diana was relieved to find Clark sitting in the same spot where he had fought Mongul. Her relief was replaced with agitation when Diana remembered how concerned Bruce had been about his friend at the time. Times had certainly changed.

Diana's agitation was replaced by confusion as got a better look at Clark. She was accustomed to seeing her friend in two states of dress: the bright blue and red spandex of Superman and the clumsy, ill-fitting suits of Clark Kent. But there he sat, two flannel clad arms wrapped about two jeans-covered legs.

"Hello, Diana."

"Clark," she responded, taking his greeting as an invitation to sit beside him on the floor. "Interesting clothing choice."

"I miss the barn," he remarked, as if that's an explanation of some sort.

"The barn?"

"In Smallville."

Of course. Diana wondered if she should bring up the fact that she'd been to Smallville, and there were considerably more than one barn. Maybe he'd care to specify?

But she didn't have time to dwell on the number of barns in the Meteor Captial of the World for long, because Clark decided to keep talking. "It used to be my Fortress. But it wasn't a very good one."

Not knowing why Clark wanted to talk so badly about a barn, but understanding that he needed to talk, Diana prodded gently, "Why not?" It sounded insignificant, but Clark didn't seem to notice.

"Everyone came in - all the time. Lana, Chloe . . . I think you would have really liked Chloe, if she hadn't. . . . you would have liked her, Diana."

"I'm sure I would have liked any of your friends, Clark." Except for one particular caped friend at the moment.

"I had a party there once. No more Princeton."

Diana decided, with only a small amount of certainty, that the barn in question was the Kent barn, though she had no idea what it had to do with Princeton. "Must have been quite a party."

"Bruce went to Princeton."

Aha. "Clark, there's no excuse for what Bruce said, but he was - "

"Angry."

"Not at you. At the Justice Lord Superman."

"What's the difference?"

Holy Hera, not Clark too. Why couldn't one of her two friends be sane? "Well, I've never seen you lobotomize anyone."

"No. But I have my own way of disappointing, don't I?"

"Bruce will get over -"

"It's not the first time, Diana." Clark found a spot on his jeans and began to rub anxiously.

"I know you've had disagreements before," she admitted, and tried to finda diplomatic way of saying, 'but nothing this bad.'

"I'm not talking about Bruce."

Oh. "Who are you talking about?"

She half expected Clark to end this discussion. People who follow Superman and Batman would never suspect how similar the two men are underneath their capes. Everyone saw Superman as the open, friendly superhero, while Batman is the aloof, closed off vigilante. Clark might be more inclined to smile while he's saving a life, but he's equally as moody and just as prone to shroud his past in secrecy.

But something, be it the Justice Lords, Doomsday's reappearance, Bruce, or some combination, have put Clark in a talkative mood. "He used to be my best friend," he stated and the far off nostalgic sound of his voice made it unnecessary for him to tell her they were no longer discussing Bruce.

"What happened?" she asked, in an attempt to steer the conversation.

"I don't know. I - I wasn't a good friend. I disappointed him. I lied."

That was hard to imagine - Mr. "I stand for truth, justice, and the American Way" lying? "I'm sure it wasn't intentional, Clark."

Clark laughed bitterly, and Diana noted that he has worn a hole through his jeans in the spot where he was rubbing moments before. "He trusted me, Diana. So many other people. . . Even his own father . . . Everyone else, really, lied to him. He trusted me, and I lied to him too. I was a lousy friend, and now he's. . . Ryan told me how much he looked up to me, and I promised Ryan I'd look after him before he died. . . I guess I lied to Ryan too."

The liberal use of the pronoun "he" has confused her. "That was his name? Ryan?"

"No. Ryan was another friend of mine. I've disappointed pretty much all of them."

Diana took Clark's left hand - the same one that had worn a hole in what must be the only pair of jeans that Clark owned - and gave it a tight squeeze. "You're a good friend, Clark. To me and to Bruce."

Clark raised his head for the first time since she had arrived, and Diana got a good look at those eyes, finally. The concern that Diana had for her friend automatically increased. Whenever Clark is happy, or excited, or passionate, his eyes turn a deep magnificent green that make Diana think of the treetops of Paradise Island. The less happy he is, the less green they were. Bruce - when he was on speaking terms with them - thought Diana's theory was silly and "unscientific" but Diana knew better, and so did Martha Kent.

And right now, Clark's eyes were painfully blue. "I wasn't a good friend to him."

"Who?"

"Lex."

There can only be one Lex. Yet no one in the Justice League, including Clark, has ever called him that. It's always been the name Diana used now, spoken with large doses with vitriol, bile, and contempt suitable for the man who has tried to rid the world of Superman more than once. But Clark's sorrowful look forced Diana to say it with less scorn than seemed appropriate. "Luthor?"

Clark nodded, and Diana tried in vain to imagine a time when Lex Luthor ever wanted to be in the same room with the man next to her without the presence of blue and red spandex and a pocketful of Kryptonite.

"He used to come to the barn a lot."

"It's hard to imagine Lex Luthor in a barn."

"He always looked out of place," Clark agreed with a slight smirk. The smirk vanished in less time than Diana had to feel relieved. "He asked me once, when we were standing in that barn, not to give up on him."

Clark made it sound so important that Diana honestly tried to imagine an innocent Lex Luthor , an incredulous vision in and of itself,- begging Clark Kent - future Superman and chief nemesis- to save him. The image wouldn't come.

"I don't know when things changed.. . . but he stopped caring whether or not I gave up on him. But I do remember the first time . . . "

There were a million ways Clark could have finished that sentence. The first time they fought, the first time Clark knew this was his enemy, the first time Clark knew Luthor couldn't be saved. . . "The first time. . .?"

"I looked at him the way Bruce looked at me today."

Diana doesn't know if Clark's statement is a clarification or an addendum. So she did what she had done for so much of this conversation. She waited for Clark to continue. In the silence, Diana wondered if her presence here was actually needed. Maybe Clark would have been better off with his memories. Her presence certainly hasn't been much help. But he looked to alone to leave, so she simply tightened her grasp on his hand and waits.

"They're a lot alike, you know. Or, well, they aren't now. But they used to be."

"Luthor and Bruce?"

Clark nodded. "That's part of what drew me to Bruce, I think - how closely he resembled Lex. When I first met Lex, he was the brilliant, aloof Billionaire with a penchant for experiments. He used to do a lot of experiments with Kryptonite -"

Diana shivered slightly when shw recalled Clark's earlier words to Bruce -

"There's always that Kryptonite you carry."

Maybe Clark hadn't been joking after all.

"I sued to want to tell him my secret, Diana." Sometimes I still do. I wonder if it would have been enough to make him stop. . . If things would have been. . . Better."

The idea of a maniac like Luthor knowing Superman's secret identity is nothing short of terrifying. Diana thought of all the people who would be dead - the Kents, Pete Ross, Lana Lang, Lois Lane, Perry White, Jimmy Olsen - and decided not to point it out to Clark. "More than likely, things would have only been worse."

"Maybe you're right. Maybe I couldn't have saved him twice. But I couldn't' kill him, Diana. Not even if it meant saving the planet."

"I know that, Clark. It's against your code."

"But it wasn't against Justice Lord Superman's Code."

Ah, back to that. Diana felt as though she was having three simultaneous conversations with Clark. Her head hurt, and she planned to find a nice ass to transfer agression to as soon as she left. "But you aren't him, Clark."

"No, I'm not. He killed Lex. I couldn't. But . . . Bruce. . ."

"Thinks that you would?"

"Yeah."

"Clark, I know your friendship with Bruce is important to you, but -"

"But I'm loosing it too, Diana. Just like I did with Lex. The suspicion and distrust. . Only this time, I know how Lex must have felt. Because this time I was on the receiving end of the sanctimonious bullshit."

She was pretty sure that this was the first time she had ever heard Clark Kent curse. "That's a pretty accurate description of Bruce's actions, at least."

"It's a pretty accurate description of my actions too, Diana. No one will ever know how much I wish I could fix what went wrong between us."

"Clark -"

"And I could have, if I had tried. But I spent so much time focusing on the relationship that didn't matter, that I ignored the one that did."

"Clark, you can't change what's already happened."

"I know. But I miss. . . I miss the barn, Diana. And Smallville. And everything that used to be and should have been."

And damn, Diana missed Themyscira.

Clark's head rose, and tilted to the left in the way that signaled he was using his super-hearing. "Gotta go. Duty calls."

"Need my help?"

"No. Basic Luthor minions harassing the citizens of Metropolis. I can handle it. See how much better the world would have been, if I had been a better friend?"

Diana knew now that it was useless to try to pursuade him that Luthor's actions weren't his fault. This conversation had been about what Clark had believed to have happened, not about what actually had. "Clark - you're doing everything you can to make up for it. And who knows? There's a universe where you killed Lex. Maybe there's a universe where your friendship survived, too."

Clark smiled at that thought. "A universe where I didn't give up on him."

"Where you saved him twice," she agreed, still not knowing when the first time was.

"Thank you, Diana." The last thing Diana saw before he turned to fly away are a pair of very green eyes.

The end.