Hey guys! I know it's been awhile, I had some computer issues that kind of impeding my writing ability. But never fear! The next chapter of B&B is near completion. In the meantime, I wrote a small drabble-I've kind of been in love with Ivan/Alfred having a family lately, and this kind of sprang up as a result. It's set a little bit later on, once their relationship has been established. Hope you like it!
Ivan—though he would never let on—loved kids. He absolutely adored them. Ever since he had first laid eyes on his newborn baby niece, nestled in the arms of his sister. Ivan had seen the wide, curious eyes poking out of a swaddle of soft pink blankets. He had felt his chest lift and tighten as the tiny being had reached out and grabbed at his finger, popping it into her mouth and making an adorable noise. Since then, the very idea of having a family of his own had made his heart melt and pool into his stomach.
Ivan, however, had not yet had the opportunity to father a family. As he had spent the majority of his twenties racing to the peaks of the business world, he had never had time for anyone as more than a fling or a one night stand. Once upon a time Ivan had considered himself fortunate that none of these more impromptu and impaired nights had resulted in any unexpected "baggage"—but right now, he felt he would almost welcome it.
But that wasn't an option now, as he was already committed to someone, and Ivan deplored cheating, especially on a boyfriend that was so kind and trusting.
Alfred, as it were, was sleeping peacefully beside him, clad only in an unbuttoned dress shirt of Ivan's that draped loosely about his small, teenaged body. His hair was still mussed and matted from their earlier intimacy, and he had fallen asleep next to Ivan in the post coital glow, exhausted from a long day at school and work. Ivan had almost been ready to tuck himself in Alfred's limp arms and follow him into dreams, when the cloud of thoughts had descended, determined not to allow him a moment of rest until he dispersed them himself.
So he lay in his bed, on his back, head turned to look at Alfred as he thought, images of cooing children rolling about in his mind.
But Ivan wasn't at all considering a life without Alfred as he thought. He knew that Alfred could not physically give him children which—Ivan was okay with this, because he loved Alfred, and imagining a life without him caused a bloom of pain to sprout from his chest.
But even without the physical capabilities, Ivan reasoned, there would still be ways to make his dream of a family with Alfred happen. Adoption, surrogacy—it would be difficult, but these were not impossible options. Given Ivan's status and wealth it would perhaps be easier for him to obtain a child through these means than it would be for the typical couple, but—
—But Alfred was nothing more than a child himself.
Alfred wasn't thinking about that, about any of the things that Ivan, as an adult, wanted—marriage and children seemed far off compared to graduation, prom, and the latest video game that the boy had been itching for. He was content where he was, hardly even beginning to think about college, or jobs, or whatever the future held. He was content with the simplicity of his life, the casual demeanor with which he drifted through life, in the manner that teenagers tend to.
And Ivan was content too, for the most part, with Alfred simply by his side. He couldn't see the boy all the time—though he did see him a lot—but when he did, Ivan felt light, his heart airy and floating out of his chest at the tiniest smile or chiming laugh from his young boyfriend.
But Ivan was—starting to think about it. The future—his future with Alfred, if by some stroke of miracle it came to pass.
Already his co-workers, contemporaries, and even his juniors were all beginning to adorn themselves with wedding rings and wallet-sized photos of gurgling babies, and whenever those trappings were pulled out or whenever they glimmered in the light of the office Ivan felt strangely barren.
Even within his family, he was constantly reminded of what he didn't have. His older sister had just celebrated the birth of her second child, and his younger sister, against all odds, had finally coerced a proposal out of her flightily, mousy-haired boyfriend.
Ivan, in moments of weakness that even he thought hateful, found himself wondering about ways he could bind Alfred to his person, tether him through some form of obligation that the gullible and morally steady boy would follow. The options, however, were limited. Alfred was male, so there was no way that a happy "accident" could occur that could bind them together—that couldn't happen, though Ivan did wander in delusions of a glowing Alfred and a shotgun-happy father. But Ivan came down from these thoughts, often feeling filthy and ashamed that he could even consider the possibility of forcing Alfred into a commitment. But the man was just—just terrified of losing the boy—
Some nights, when Alfred was at his home and not warming Ivan's bed, the businessman wondered if perhaps a day would come where Alfred's future would not include Ivan. After all, the boy was still a boy, with his entire life ahead of him, chocked with twist and turns and choices and decisions and what if some day Alfred didn't choose Ivan? He had already chosen Ivan above his innocence, above the law, but—who said that wouldn't change? Who said Alfred wouldn't find someone new? Who said they wouldn't get caught together and separated by barrier of the court?
He knew his bosses and his co-workers frequently took younger lovers without trouble—but they weren't nearly as young as Alfred was.
Ivan's hand, large and thickly veined and pale cupped Alfred's sleeping face, essentially engulfing the boy's cheek in its vast palm. The boy mumbled a little in his sleep, turning his head,Ivan's shirt collar brushing against his chin. Ivan smiled fondly, gently running his thumb over Alfred's skin, brushing briefly against his lips.
He gently leaned in and captured a kiss, lightly nuzzled their noses together. He was careful not to wake Alfred, keeping the kiss chaste until he slowly pulled back and rested their foreheads together. The boy gave a sleepy sigh, his lips quirking up a bit and sending a pang through Ivan's chest. The businessman moved his hand and sifted his fingers through Alfred's hair, gently pulling the boy's head in until his nose brushed against Ivan's neck and the man was able to kiss into Alfred's golden hair, whispering.
Please, do not—do not stray far from my side.
