I am here today to tell you about a man. A very great man, one whose name would be in every history book had he not been just a fictional character. Nevertheless, he's a very great guy. Come now, little fan fic dot netters. Grab a chair and your nearest favorite snack and listen to my story, the story of Jean Descole. By the way this is not just a fan fiction, it is totally canon. This shit is real, well, fictionally, but not fan fictionally. This is the real fictional story of Jean Descole.

"Wah wah wah!"

"Somebody shut that baby up!"

That baby was Jean Descole.

Yes, we were all babies at one point. We don't remember it, but it happened. Scientists say babies can only see simple shapes and colors. Babies are like Kodak, their minds are still developing. You can take the Mona Lisa and shove it in a baby's face and it will think it's an orange.

Knowing this, the mean day care lady pulled the Mona Lisa out from her desk drawer and walked over to the baby Descole. She shoved the painting in his face, cackling like the witch of a woman she was.

"Mona Lisa!"

The day care lady dropped the Mona Lisa to the floor, shattering it to pieces. Did that baby really just recognize the work of Da Vinci? There had to be something wrong! Maybe this baby had never seen an orange before. And with that thought in mind, the day care lady ran to her desk, took an orange out of her lunch bag and brought it forth to the Descole baby, shoving it in his tiny baby face.

Descole grabbed the orange with his tiny baby hands that go so well with his tiny baby face.

"Orange!"

Before the day care lady could even gasp, Descole threw the orange at her face. The impact was so intense that the orange split in half and the citrusy fluids squirted into the day care lady's eyes. She was now blind.

"AHHHHH THIS BABY IS OUT OF CONTROL!"

Descole took this as an opportunity to get the fuck out of that dank day care. He jumped the gate from his crib and used his cape as a parachute, perfecting a landing almost as soft as his baby ass. His next goal was to make it up to that open window he had his eye on all morning. But how could he do that on his own? He was only a short baby person, after all. But then Descole remembered – he wasn't any ordinary short baby, he was a SCIENTIST BABY.

Baby Descole collected all the necessary toys he needed to build a time machine, even if that meant stealing them from the other babies. He drooled at the thought of making other babies cry. Unfortunately for him, there was only one toy he needed that was in use.

He crawled over to the baby playing with Thomas the tank engine. However, this was no ordinary Thomas.

"Excuse me, fellow baby. I see that you are playing with the flux capacitor to my time machine."

Another scientific fact that you may have heard before is that all babies can talk to each other telepathically.

"Young man," said the other baby, "I believe you are mistaken. You see, this is a replica of the popular children's television show character Thomas the tank engine, not the flux capacitor you are in search for."

"Yes it is, bitch!"

Descole grabbed the flux capacitor out of the other baby's hands and placed it in its proper spot. The other baby began to cry loudly, starting a chain reaction of babies crying.

"Yes! Let those sweet, sweaty tears of loss pour down your chocolate covered faces, you ugly ass babies! We shall meet again…IN THIRTY YEARS!"

And with that, Descole slammed the time machine door. Small beeps could be heard outside of the machine, and soon smoke was steaming from the cracks of the door. The ground began to shake, babies started shitting themselves, and then…. BOOM!

Neither the time machine nor baby Descole could be found.

The baby that Descole had robbed coughed and wiped the dust away from his face.

That baby was Hershel Layton.

"I'll never forget his face," said baby Layton.

"Shit, he's never going to forget my face!" Descole said as he stepped THIRTY YEARS INTO THE FUTURE.