Fullmetal Alchemist Unlimited Episode 31: Cookies or Scram!

by 1942

Trisha bakes cookies for a fundraiser to Lino Jackson to lower the outrageous prices of cookies in Amestris, leaving Trisha Jr. in charge of selling them, but one of her customers happen to be The Lightning and keeps pestering him until he buys some cookies.

I own NOTHING! Fullmetal Alchemist is owned by FUNimation Entertainment, Toei Animation, Saban Entertainment, Fox Kids, 20th Century Fox and Hiromu Arakawa!

Fullmetal Alchemist Unlimited Episode 31: Cookies or Scram!

Episode 31

"Cookies or Scram!"

NOTE #1: The season 2 intro goes the same

NOTE #2: Every kind of fighting move, especially punching and kicking, have Pre-Power Rangers Ninja Storm fighting move sound effects.

The Elric Household, Resembool, Amestris - March 9, 1999 8:56 AM

At the Elric family's house, Trisha, in her normal clothes, is baking ten Chocolate Crispy Crunch cookies, ten Lemon Sprinkles cookies and ten Peanut Swirl in the lower oven tray to start a fundraiser to Lino Jackson to lower the outrageous prices of cookies in Amestris. When the cookies were done baking via the oven going "Ding!", Trisha, wearing mittens, pulls the tray of cookies out of the oven's lower tray and puts it on the kitchen table, waiting for it to cool down. Once the cookies cooled down, Trisha puts them into three separate boxes that say "Trisha Elric's Cookies" in cursive writing with cookie pictures on it as Trisha Jr., in her normal clothes, is left in charge of selling the cookies from door to door under Den's supervision, who is wearing a dog backpack to help Trisha Jr. sell the cookies. "Okay, Trisha, I want you and Den to sell the first thirty cookies within the Resembool area and come back when I bake more, can you do that?" Trisha asked as she hands the first two boxes of cookies to Trisha Jr. and the third box of cookies to Den via putting it in his dog backpack. "You can count on us, grandma!" Trisha Jr. answered happily as Trisha gives her a good luck kiss on the cheek, then the latter and her dog head out to sell their first batch of cookies to start the fundraiser to tell Lino Jackson to lower the outrageous prices of cookies in Amestris. "Be careful, sweetie!" Trisha finished loudly as she waves her eldest granddaughter and dog goodbye with her left hand. "We will, grandma!" Trisha Jr. replied as she turns her head and waves goodbye bact to her grandmother with her right hand, with Den winking at her until he and Trisha Jr. turns their heads away to start their fundraiser cookie selling.

The Resembool Rural Area, Resembool, Amestris – March 9, 1999 10:45 AM/The Resembool Train Station, Resembool, Amestris – March 9, 1999 11:03 AM

At The Resembool Rural Area, after two hours of searching, Trisha Jr. and Den couldn't find any customers! Already dehydrated and exhausted via heavy breathing. "Oh, this is hopeless! Where will we find a customer now?" Trisha Jr. asked in exhaustion as she hears a familiar demonic voice reading words from Dante's Inferno coming from down the street, it was The Lightning! Peacefully reading Dante's Inferno while sitting in midair. "Even demons have semen!" The Lightning rhymed as he grins twistedly at the audience. "I am a buttercup! I am as sweet as can be!" Trisha Jr. rhymed as he roller skates to The Lightning with her Barbie roller skates she got from inside Den's dog backpack, which was already inside it, starting to piss off The Lightning. "Lightning, please won't you buy some cookies from me!" Trisha Jr. rhymed as she pops right out from behind The Lightning, angrily startling him, with the scene cutting to a smiling Trisha Jr.'s cute, twinkly eyes while putting the first two boxes of cookies in The Lightning's face. "Listen up, you little shit, I don't have the time! Go on, bother somebody else with you rhyme!" The Lightning answered angrily as he puts his Dante's Inferno book back into his utility belt with his left claw and points at the horizon with his right index finger to tell Trisha Jr. to go away and bother other people with her rhymes, making a supposedly sad Trisha Jr. and Den to sadly go away, satisfying The Lightning, who smirks evilly and has his hands behind his head in relaxation. But just when The Lightning was about to take a decent nap, Trisha Jr. pops right out from behind him, furiously startling him. "I'm selling cookies!" Trisha Jr. rhymed as she hides back behind The Lightning. "Almost free!" Trisha Jr. rhymed as she puts the first two boxes of cookies in The Lightning's face again, who pulls his Lightning Blaster out of his utility belt with his right hand and supposedly vaporizes her, making him smirk wickedly, but it turns out she's alive! With a shocked Lightning putting his Lightning Blaster back into his utility belt with his right hand afterwards. "Please won't you buy some cookies from me!" Trisha Jr. rhymed as she puts the first two boxes of cookies in The Lightning's face again even closer, angering him while stop sitting in midair. "I'm trying to take a nap! Can't you see!? And food made by you humans are very bad for me!" The Lightning rhymed as he puts his right hand on his stomach. "Now go one, little girl! Just let me be!" The Lightning rhymed as he points at the horizon with his right index finger again to tell Trisha Jr. to go away while covering his face with his left claw. "I will not buy any cookies from...Uh...Thee!" The Lightning rhymed as he takes his left claw off his face and raises it in a finger point-position. "Thee?" Trisha Jr. asked the audience in minor confusion. "You wish that you could rhyme like me!" The Lightning rhymed as he points at himself with his right thumb while grinning arrogantly, then walks away. But once he was meters away from Trisha Jr. and Den, they pop right in front of him to ask them where he wants to buy their cookies after selling them to him. "Would you like them here?" Trisha Jr. rhymed as she points at the ground with her left index finger. "Or there?" Den rhymed as he runs about six feet away and points at the ground with his front right paw. "I would not like them here!" The Lightning rhymed as he points at the ground with his left claw. "Or there!" The Lightning rhymed as he runs over to Den's position and points at the ground with his right index finger. "I would not like them anywhere!" The Lightning rhymed as he waves his left claw down in denial, then walks away. But while walking away, The Lightning comes across the purplish-brown front door of a bedroom-sized, poorly designed pale aqua green house with a red roof and when he opens the door with his right hand, he is horrified to see that Trisha Jr. is sitting on a chair in front of a poorly-designed marzipan table with Den next to her on the wooden floor and Skip Mouse from The Night Before Christmas: A Mouse Tale on the table, which has the first two boxes of cookies on top of it! "Would you like them in a house?" Trisha Jr. rhymed as she points at the ceiling with her right index finger. "Would you like them with a mouse?" Trisha Jr. rhymed as she as she respectfully points at Skip Mouse with her left hand in an upside down position while the latter waves an offscreen Lightning with his right paw. "I WOULD NOT LIKE THEM IN A HOUSE!" The Lightning rhymed as he angrily slams the door, causing the entire house to disintegrate, seemingly killing Trisha Jr., Den and Skip Mouse. "I WOULD NOT LIKE THEM WITH A MOUSE!" The Lightning rhymed as he raises his left claw, with spins and produces lightning through his anger. "I WOULD NOT LIKE THEM HERE OR THERE! I WOULD NOT LIKE THEM ANYWHERE!" The Lightning rhymed as he waves his left claw in a karate chop position in denial, then runs away. But while running away, an opened red box falls from the sky right in front of The Lightning, and is horrified to see that Trisha Jr. is standing in the middle, with Den next to her on the left and adult Tod from The Fox And The Hound next to her on the right, holding the first two boxes of cookies in his mouth. "Would you eat them in a box?"

Trisha Jr. rhymed as she points at the box's ceiling with her right index finger. "Would you eat them with a fox?" Trisha Jr. rhymed as she respectfully points at adult Tod with her left hand in an upside down position while the latter waves an offscreen Lightning with his right paw. "NO! NOT IN A BOX! NOT WITH A FOX!" The Lightning rhymed as he does a waving stop hand expression with both hands in disgust, then adult Tod notices two half-offscreen huntsmen wearing hunting clothes riding on their horses and are accompanied by a dozen hounds, who are leading the way while barking loudly, frightening adult Todd as he drops the first two boxes of cookies, gasps and runs away, with the Two Half-Offscreen Huntsmen Wearing Hunting Clothes Riding On Their Hand Are Accompanied By A Dozen Hounds in hot pursuit, briefly distracting The Lightning, Trisha Jr. and Den until Trisha Jr. picks up the boxes of cookies. "NOT IN A HOUSE! NOT WITH A MOUSE!" The Lightning rhymed as he shakes his head. "I WOULD NOT EAT THEM HERE OR THERE! I WOULD NOT EAT THEM ANYWHERE!" The Lightning rhymed as he points at the ground with his left caw and points at the horizon behind him with it, then walks away. But while walking away, he hears the engine of a car, it was Winry's 1983 Jeep CJ-7 Renegade! Which is driven by Den! Since Trisha Jr. is too young to drive! All while Trisha Jr. happily holds the boxes in her righ hand. Though The Lightning easily dodges the approaching car, he sits on its hood, looking the opposite direction from Trisha Jr. while crossing his arms. "Would you? Could you? In a car? Eat them! Eat them! Here they are!" Trisha Jr. rhymed as she puts the first two boxes of cookies right behind The Lightning's head. "I would not! Could not in a car!" The Lightning rhymed as he turns his head and angrily glares at Trisha Jr. After driving for about five minutes, The Lightning notices that he, Trisha Jr. and Den are about to hit a tree on a hill. But instead of crashing into the tree, Winry's 1983 Jeep CJ-7 Renegade slides onto its bark like a ramp until stopping via getting stuck in the branches, hunching the tree over due to the weight of the car. "You may like them, you will see! You may like them in a tree!" Trisha Jr. rhymed as she points at the first two boxes of cookies in her right hand with her left hand in an upside down position. "I would not could not in a tree! Not in a car! Now let me be!" The Lightning rhymed as he shakes his head, raises his right fist and clunches it. Miraculously, for The Lightning, he hears a train tooting in the Resembool Train Station from below, because the hill is right behind it, so he leaps in the air with crooked Pre-Power Rangers Ninja Storm leap sound effects and swiftly lands on the train's last car on his feet. "NOT IN A BOX! NOT WITH A FOX!" The Lightning rhymed as he raises his right fist and clunches it. "NOT IN A HOUSE! NOT WITH A MOUSE!" The Lightning rhymed as he looks away from our two heroes and crosses his arms. "I WOULD NOT LIKE THEM HERE OR THERE! I WOULD NOT LIKE THEM ANYWHERE!" The Lightning rhymed as the scene cuts to Trisha Jr. and Den angrily glaring at him as the train he is standing on drives away into the distance.

South City, Amestris - March 9 , 1999 1:27 PM

At the South City Harbor's shipping docks, after two hours of well-deserved peace and tranquility, The Lightning is once again reading his Dante's Inferno book inside the train's middle car, sitting in its middle seat, with no one noticing him there, since the middle car is completely empty, but is horrified to see that Trisha Jr. and Den pop right out from below his chair. "Could you? Would you? On a train?" Trisha Jr. rhymed as she puts the first two boxes of cookies in The Lightning's face, starling and angering him while once again putting his Dante's Inferno book back into his utility belt with his left claw. "NO! NOT ON A TRAIN! NOT IN A TREE! NOT IN A CAR! TRISHA JR. LET ME BE!" The Lightning rhymed as he points at Trisha Jr. with his left claw, then gets up and walks to the gangway connection door to cross to the last car after waving his left caw down in denial. "NOT IN A BOX! NOT WITH A FOX!" The Lightning rhymed as he opens the gangway connection door and waves his left claw in a karate chop position in denial, but once he opened the door, the Two Half-Offscreen Huntsmen Wearing Hunting Clothes Riding On Their Hand Are Accompanied By A Dozen Hounds chase adult Tod right out of the last car through the gangway connections doors of both cars, leaving the last car totally empty. "NOT IN A HOUSE! NOT WITH A MOUSE!" The Lightning rhymed as he points at an offscreen Trisha Jr. with his left claw. "NOT HERE OR THERE! NOT ANYWHERE!" The Lightning rhymed as he points at the floor with his left caw and points at the horizon behind him with it, then crosses through the gangway connection to the last car and once he got there, but before closing its door, he closes the previous one and ties its chain in knots so Trisha Jr. and Den couldn't get to him and once he did, he closes the last car's gangway connection door shut, then sits down in its front seat to take a nice long nap while his hands are behind his head in relaxation again. But once the train went into a dark tunnel, the whole car as well as the entire train turned pitch black, with the only visible thing is The Lightning's New Batman Adventures Bane eyes. But even in the dark, the eyes of Trisha Jr. and Den are seen right in front of The Lightning, startling him. "In the dark? Here in the dark? Would you? Could you? In the dark?" Trisha Jr. rhymed. "I WOULD NOT! COULD NOT IN THE DARK!" The Lightning as the train comes out of the dark tunnel, The Lightning flies away into the sky with his demon wings expanded after crashing through the train's last car's ceiling. But while flying away, it started to rain, with Winry's 1983 Jeep CJ-7 Renegade, which has its sunroof on, is driven by Den as Trisha Jr., with a megaphone in her left hand and the first two boxes of cookies in her right hand below. "Would you? Could you? In the rain?" Trisha Jr. rhymed as she shows The Lightning the first two boxes of cookies from below by sticking her right hand out the rear right passenger car window. "I WOULD NOT! COULD NOT IN THE RAIN! NOT IN THE DARK! NOT IN A TRAIN! NOT IN A CAR! NOT IN A TREE! I WOULD NOT LIKE THEM, TRISHA JR. YOU SEE!?" The Lighting rhymed as he waves his right index finger at the eldest Elric daughter and her dog until using it to pop all the tires of Winry's 1983 Jeep CJ-7 Renegade, causing it to spin out of control until crashing into a bus stop, half-destroyed as this seemingly killed Trisha Jr. and Den.

The South City Shipping Docks, South City Harbor, South City, Amestris – March 9, 1999 2:28 PM/The South City Shipping Docks, South City Harbor, South City, Amestris – March 9, 1999 6:28 PM

After flying away for about an hour, The Lightning lands on his feet, deactivates his demon wings and started to walk away, thinking it is safe enough to walk. "Guess it's safe enough to walk now!" The Lightning said as he walks away, but then hears the bleat of a goat and when he turns around, he is horrified to see Trisha Jr. sitting on a descendant of Djali from Disney's The Hunchback of Notre Dame while holding the first two boxes of cookies in her left hand with Den next to the two. "Would you? Could you? With a goat?" Trisha Jr. rhymed as she respectfully points at the descendant of Djali with her right hand in an upside down position while the latter waves an offscreen Lightning with his left hoof. "I WOULD NOT! COULD NOT WITH A GOAT! I WILL NOT EAT THEM HERE OR THERE! I WOULD NOT EAT THEM ANYWHERE!" The Lightning rhymed as he raises his fists and clunches them until he waves his right index finger at Trisha Jr., Den and the descendant of Djali. Then The Lightning sees a parked and empty yellow and white shipping ship, prompting him to leap in the air with crooked Pre-Power Rangers Ninja Storm leap sound effects until diving into its funnel, where he would wait even hours just to hide from Trisha Jr. and Den until he's certain they're dead. After four hours of hiding and waiting, as sunset comes, The Lightning flip jumps out of the funnel and swiftly lands on his feet, he then looks around to see if the coast is clear, to which it was, for now, making The Lightning sigh in relief. But when The Lightning went to the right side of the boat, he is horrified and shocked to see Trisha Jr., who is holding the first two boxes of cookies in both hands and Den behind her on a wooden, yellow and gray dinghy boat with wooden, dark red paddles. "Would you? Could you? On a boat?" Trisha Jr. rhymed as she puts the first two boxes of cookies meters away from his face. "HHHHAAAHHAA! I WOULD NOT! WOULD NOT ON A BOAT!" The Lightning rhymed as he angrily laughs like Krusty The Clown. "I WILL NOT! WILL NOT WITH A GOAT! NOT IN THE RAIN! NOT ON A TRAIN!" The Lightning rhymed as he bangs the right side of the ship so hard it starts to crack until finally disintegrate into pieces and sinking into the water, seemingly taking Trisha Jr. and Den with it, with The Lightning expanding his demon wings and flies away before the ship even sank. "And now to make sure those two shits are dead!" The Lightning hissed as he uses his lightning laser vision to destroy the entire dock while it explodes with Pre-Power Rangers Ninja Storm explosion sound effects, making him cackle with satisfaction, happy that Trisha Jr. and Den are finally dead after pestering him for hours, or so he thinks. Then The Lightning lands on the remaining ground on his feet and walks away with his back slightly hunched and a fed up glare in his face, but while he was walking away, he can't believe what he just came across! Trisha Jr. and Den are still alive! Right in front of him! With Trisha Jr. still holding the first two boxes of cookies in her hands, resulting in The Lightning straightening his back up. "Okay, Lightning. What do you say? Will you buy some cookies today?" Trisha Jr. rhymed as she puts the first two boxes of cookies in The Lightning's face as his right eye started to twitch until finally going cuckoo for Coaco Puffs! Sick of Trisha Jr. and Den pestering him until he buys some cookies as his anger causes thunder to roar. "THAT'S IT, KID! I'VE HAD ENOUGH! I'M REALLY SICK OF ALL THIS STUFF!" The Lightning rhymed as he points at Trisha Jr. with his left claw. "I DON'T WANT COOKIES, CAN'T YOU SEE!? NOW GET YOUR STUFF AWAY FROM ME!" The Lightning rhymed as he flips off Trisha Jr. with his right middle finger. "YOU DRIVE ME NUTS! IT'S REALLY TRUE!" The Lightning rhymed as his claws start to shake and produce lightning. "I'VE REALLY HAD ENOUGH OF YOU!" The Lightning rhymed as he points at Trisha Jr. with his left claw again. "YOU'VE GOT UNTIL THE COUNT OF THREE TO GO AWAY AND LET ME BE OR I'LL KILL THEE!" The Lightning rhymed as he shows his index, middle and ring finger in a three position, giving the toddler and her dog to go away and let him be within three seconds or he'll kill them. "ONE!" The Lightning counted furiously as he turns away and shows his right index finger in a one position until crossing his arms, then the scene cuts to Trisha Jr. about to cry as she starts to shed tears and later weeps, with The Lightning ignoring her. "Two." The Lightning continued as Trisha Jr. cries, annoying him again. "Oh, will you shut up already, you little shit!" The Lightning yelled as he covers his ears, only for Trisha Jr.'s crying to get louder and louder and despite hating humans and their food, he'll buy some cookies. "ALRIGHT ALREADY!"

The Lightning roared as he turns around. "I'll buy some of your fucking cookies!" The Lightning hissed as he slightly hunches his back and looks away from an offscreen Trisha Jr. "You will?" Trisha Jr. asked happily ., who stopped once The Lightning said she'd buy some of her cookies. "But I'll only buy TWO boxes!" The Lightning replied as he shows Trisha Jr. his left claw in a number two position, making Trisha Jr. and Den's eyes shine in happiness. "Here's a fortune's worth of cash, if you EVER make me do this again, you will be smashed!" The Lightning hissed furiously but politely as he pulls out a silver briefcase containing one millinillion Cenz in cash from his utility belt and shows it to a more than satisfied Trisha Jr., who takes it from him and puts it on the ground due to its massive weight. "And yet you do not like them so you say? Try them! Try them! And you may! Try them! And you may, I say!" Trisha Jr. rhymed as she opens the boxes of the ten Chocolate Crispy Crunch cookies and the ten Lemon Sprinkles cookies that The Lightning bought so the latter can try them. "Trisha Jr." The Lightning rhymed as he shakes his head. "If you will let me be...I will try them, and you will see." The Lightning rhymed as he points at himself with his hands in a push position. To prove to Trisha Jr. and Den that he hates human food, The Lightning picks up one of the ten Chocolate Crispy Crunch cookies from its box with his right hand, turns his eyes inside-out and puts the cookie in his Xenomorph mouth. But strangely, once The Lightning ate and swallowed the Chocolate Crispy Crunch cookie, his eyes turn back outside-in and shine in happiness while doing Tigger's laugh and jumps in the air and does a heel click, meaning he LOVES Trisha's cookies! "WOAH! SAY!" The Lightning cheered as he happily lands back on his feet. Learning that human cookies can taste good, he takes all three boxes of from Trisha Jr. and Den and horks them all down along with the boxes! Once The Lightning happily ate her cookies he bought from her, Trisha Jr. finger whistles and a prototype Supertrain from Power Rangers Lightspeed Rescue drives over to the three characters' position until stopping so Trisha Jr. can explain to a rather astonished Lightning that the one millinillion Cenz in cash he spent on the cookies resulted in one millinillion and two boxes of cookies delivered to him inside every prototype Rail Rescue. "You've got your two boxes, but let me explain." Trisha Jr. said as she raises her left index finger while briefly closing her arms. "There's a reason we're using this great big prototype zord train." Trisha Jr. continued as the screen mostly shows the prototype Supertrain. "As a result of you spending one millinillion Cenz in cash on only three boxes of cookies, you get a millinillion...! PLUS TWO!" Trisha Jr. rhymed as she points at The Lightning with her right index finger until she shows him her index and middle finger in a number two position. "ROBO-CORN, COME FORTH!" Trisha Jr. shouted as Robo-Corn approaches her to take her and Den back home to see if they need to deliver more of Trisha's cookies. "Bye bye, Lightning! Thanks!" Trisha Jr. finished as she waves The Lightning goodbye with her right hand until she and Den hop on Robo-Corn and head home. "COOKIES!" The Lightning exclaimed happily but hungrily as he opens up all the prototype Rail Rescues and eats all the cookies like Taz, but in a microsecond.

The Lightning Wing Bridge, The Lightning Wing - March 9, 1999 6:30 PM

As The Lightning Wing flies to the right, the scene cuts to The Lightning Wing Bridge, where The Lightning, who is now as obese as a ball, is on his Lightning Chair, despite eating millinillion and two cookies, demands more cookies, making The She-Lightning, Lightna, Piggy, Skull, Lightningmodo, Kingpin, Agent Bishop, Diva, Kagetane Hiroku, Arthur Lucifer, Bill Sykes and Kent Mansley rather disgusted and scared. "WANT MORE FUCKING COOKIES!" The Lightning commanded loudly as he pounds his stomach in impatience, causing the floor to crack and break, which also causes The Lightning to fall into it while snarling angrily in mild pain. "Got milk?" The Lightning asked the audience.