"Come on Elena, its tradition." Caroline whines as we descended the stairs of the Salvatore Boardinghouse. I let out a sigh.

"Caroline, things aren't exactly the same as they were a year ago. Don't you think this tradition is a little um, childish?" Every summer since sixth grade we had this 'tradition' where we picked out the most 'dateable guys'. It originated because Caroline wanted to get over her obsession with Tyler Lockwood (Look how that turned out) and move on to better guys. We then started doing it every summer, making a list of who we were going to hit the upcoming year. It felt wrong last summer, and it just feels plain out weird now.

"It is not childish. This is the last summer we get to do this, don't spoil my happiness."

"It just feels like a different lifetime you know?" How do I get her to see it? It's only been a year since the Salvatore's walked into our lives but it feels like years. It's hard to even remember the times before them.

"I know! Why do you think I was trying to get everyone into senior prank night? High School is where we are supposed to make memories. I'm not letting go just because the horror stories we used to read to each other decided to come alive, okay?" Caroline let out a frustrated breath. I sympathized with her. Sure, in ways I wanted our lives to go back to the 'before' but I know it's never going to happen. I don't know how I would function if it did happen. That life is just too far gone.

"Please Elena, do it for me?" She shot me her pleading look and I let out a breath. If it made her so happy then I guess I could live through it. "Yay! I knew you'd do it."

I shot her a bewildered look. I haven't even agreed yet.

"Okay fine, I'll do it. But I still don't see why we have to go into the cellar. Are you planning on murdering me Caroline?"

"Ha-ha funny." She looked back at me as she opened the large metal door that lead to the cellar. Behind that door there was, wait for it, more large metal doors that lead to different cells. I shivered at the memories, Stefan, Damon, Elijah, and probably more people were all kept here.

"We're here because a, no one will look down here and b, because pretty soon someone's going to send out a search party for you and hopefully it'll take them a while to find us down here." She spun around and put her hands on her hips, staring off into space. "Well I guess they're both the same reason," She shrugged. "But still."

I shook my head, same old Caroline.

"Here we go," She said opening the door to one of the cells. "In you go." I stared at her like she was crazy. I'm pretty sure she is.

"Are you serious? Why are we hiding out in a cell?"

Caroline just grinned at me.

"Because it seemed like fun, I mean you've locked people in here but you've never been in yourself." I shook my head at her, she makes no sense. "Come on Elena, live on the wild side." She walked in and I followed her, the sound of our heels vibrated through the small stone room.

Caroline turned towards me her grin getting wider, "Kay, well bye."

And with that she took off with vampire speed slamming the door behind her.

"Wait what? Caroline?" I ran up to the door grabbing the handle trying to push it open. "Caroline!" It wouldn't open. It was locked.

"Caroline!" I started beating on the door. She couldn't seriously have locked me in here right? "Caroline! Open the damn door!" There was still no answer and the door still didn't move. "CAROLINE!"

I slumped against the door, sliding down to the floor. Well this was great, I don't remember locking people in cells being a part of senior prank night but maybe we started a new tradition.

I looked down at my hand that was now throbbing. It was red from beating on the door. I got up and walked towards the small window in the corner. There were bars on it but it looked big enough for me to slide through. I tried pulling on the bars. No use. Vampire strength would come in handy right about now.

I turned and surveyed the room. There was a door, a window, and walls. Nothing to break the bars with, no other way of escaping, Perfect. I sat down on the floor again. Fine, Caroline would get her little kick of locking me in here then when she lets me out I'll kill her. Sounds like a good plan to me.

Then the door opened and Damon came stumbling through. The door slammed shut behind him.

He sped to the door and started beating on it.

"Caroline! What the hell? If you don't open this damn door, I'll rip your cute little Barbie head right off!" I sighed. He stopped beating on the door and turned. His eyes landing on me and widening. Obviously, he was as shocked to see me as I was to see him.

"Elena?" He asked walking towards me. I stood with my arms crossed in the far side of the room.

"Hey, Damon." He stopped in front of me, like he didn't believe I was really here. I could almost see the gears turning in his head. "Let me guess, Caroline?" I asked, although I already knew the answer.

"The little bitch pushed me in." He growled. I sighed; it was starting to make sense now.

"Ugh, I'm going to kill her." I groaned sitting back down against the wall. I remembered our talk about 'switching Salvatore's' somehow I think this is her way of helping me decide.

"You and me both" I shook my head. He has no idea why he's here, what exactly am I supposed to tell him? "Any ideas why vampire Barbie decided to lock us up?" He asked sliding down next to me. I remembered him doing the same thing not too long ago, when we locked Stefan in one of the cells when he OD'd on human blood. That was one of the few times you could tell that Damon actually loved his brother. I sighed.

"Not a clue," The look on his face told me he didn't believe me, but he didn't question it.

"So how was your day?" he asked casually. I laughed outright.

"It's going wonderfully, yours?" I asked sarcastically. He stared at me before answering.

"Well, there are worse people I could be locked in a room with." I rolled my eyes. But I could tell he was serious. It scared me when he was that serious.

We sat there for a long time in silence; I'm not sure how long, hours? The light from the window darkened into a bright orange, yup, hours. Damon broke the silence.

"So I saw you at the cemetery earlier today." I stiffened. He turned his head so he was facing me. I stared at the wall in front of me. "Haven't seen you there in a while."

"Yeah, well," If I had superpowers I probably would have already burned an escape route into the wall across the room. "I was visiting my parents."

He nodded, looking ahead. For a moment I thought he was going to end the conversation, my shoulders relieved some of their tension.

"I'm sorry," I turned to look at him. Our eyes met, he looked sincere.

"For what?" I whispered. Not breaking eye contact.

"Your parents,"

"Don't be." I turned my head back to the wall. "You didn't kill them." I added bitterly.

"It's still got to be hard. Hell, I know it's hard." I could feel his gaze on my face. I felt like crying, like any minute I could just explode. "Why do you think it's your fault?"

I breathed in a gulp of air, choking on it.

"I don't." I lied. My chest hurt, my lungs hurt. I wouldn't be surprised if I had a heart attack right now on the floor.

"Don't lie to me," He put a finger under my chin pulling it towards him. My eyes filled with tears. I hated when he saw me cry. I hated when he did stuff like this.

I sucked in a deep breath; it burned all the way down.

"Because it is my fault," A tear escaped and I rubbed at it quickly. It was so much easier explaining it to Stefan. Why did Damon make it so much harder?

"How is it your fault?" I focused on his shirt, his leather jacket, the cracks in the floor, anything but his face.

"On the night they died." More tears started coming out, I rubbed at them, clearing my throat. "I was at a party. I did that a lot you know, partying. It was kind of my thing." I laughed humorously. "I'm sure you heard about it, Caroline calls it the 'fun Elena"." I shrugged, "I guess I was more fun then"

"Anyway, I was at a party, one I wasn't supposed to be at, I was grounded actually. But I snuck out. They came to get me, we we're riding in the car back to the house. I was pissed, dad was pissed, yelling from the driver's seat. Mom wasn't saying anything, she was always quiet during our fights.

I remember saying something really smart assy, that caused dad to turn around and yell at me as we were going over the bridge. It was late and dark, it was raining, and I'm pretty sure there may have been ice on the road. Either way, Dad lost control of the car. It went through the side of the bridge and into the water." I heard Damon suck in a breath. I was crying now, I looked up at Damon and he was staring at me intently. Silently telling me to continue.

"I remember the cold. When I get nightmares from that night, that's the part I hate the most, the coldness, the lack of air. We we're going to die. I unbuckled my seat belt before the car was fully under water. Mom was passed out in the passenger seat, which was the side that hit the wall. Dad was yelling for her, but she wasn't responding. He started yelling at me to open the door. But I couldn't get it open, the water was pushing against it too hard, it wouldn't move. The water was up to my waist by then, slowly getting higher.

Drowning has to be the worst way to die, sitting there still conscious knowing what's coming but having no way to stop it. I swear the time just dragged on.

Then before I knew it we were almost completely under water. I had to stand up with my mouth close to the roof to even get any air. Dad had moms head pushed up to the top of the car as he banged against his door, but it wouldn't open either. We were almost completely under, I took a deep breath before we went under, but it didn't take long before I started seeing black spots. I remember thinking 'this is how I'm going to die, dragging everyone down with me,' it's still kind of true in a way."

I looked away, back at the wall; it seems to be my place of choice for the day.

"Anyway, I went unconscious; I woke up on the bank next to the river with the paramedics surrounding me. I went to the hospital, had a cold for the week." I shook my head. "I was the only one who made it, Mom and Dad left Jeremy at home with Jenna. Who was going through some big break up at the time and was staying with us. Then they made Jenna our legal guardian and she moved in permanently. It never goes away though, the grief." I turned to look at him, "The guilt. I don't know how Jeremy can even stand to talk to me, knowing I killed our parents. He should hate me. I hate me."

"Elena-"

"Don't Damon, okay? There's nothing you can do to change it. Today's the anniversary of their death. To answer your question, I was at the cemetery apologizing. Again."

"Elena, it's not your fault. Don't put everything on your shoulders I know what that's like, it doesn't help anything. It was not your fault they died."

I jumped up, suddenly furious, he scrambled up after me.

"Who are you to tell me it's not my fault? I don't need the lies, they don't protect me, and they don't help. I know what I did!" I slammed my hands against the wall. He took them and spun me around so my face was in his chest. I started fighting him, until I couldn't anymore. I collapsed into his chest sobbing. He stroked my hair, making shushing noises.

"Shhh, Elena, It's okay, everything's going to be okay." He whispered.

"No its not, you can't tell me everything's going to be okay, you can't tell me it's not my fault." I pulled back from him rubbing my eyes. I wanted to be mad at him, I wanted to be furious. But I couldn't. He grabbed my hands rubbing the back of them with his thumbs. The moonlight shone through the window, barely lightening the room. I briefly wondered how long Caroline was going to keep us down here.

"Elena," he met my gaze. And I was captivated by the blue of his eyes, they were like the sea and I was drowning in them. "Why are we here?"

"What do you mean?" I asked not exactly sure that I was glad about the subject change.

"You know what I mean." I sighed. How could he always see through my lies? See through me?

"I don't know, I think it may have something to do with this conversation Caroline, Bonnie, and I were having the other day."

"Which was?" I broke away from him and walked to the other side of the room, leaning against the door. I didn't look at him, I was too afraid of the next words that came out of my mouth.

"She sort of asked me if I was 'switching Salvatore's' and I had absolutely no idea what she was going on about, but then she kept going and going, and I told her I don't know and I guess she decided to 'help' me." It all came out in a rush. He crossed the room and was standing right in front of me.

"What did you say when she asked you that?" His gaze was smothering, I felt like I was suffocating.

"I-I told her that if I even considered that, the possibility of it, then what does that make me?"

"What does that make you?"

"It makes me Katherine." I looked up at him, meeting his gaze head on. "It makes me just like Katherine."

I heard him inhale sharply, his eyes never leaving mine.

"You're nothing like her," he starts but I cut him off.

"Yes I am, more so than anyone realizes." Tears started forming again, and I cursed myself for my inability to hide my emotions. "And I'm trying; I try so hard not to be her. To believe that we share a face and nothing more. But it's not true. I know it's not"

He put both hands to my face; I felt a shock go through me, like it always does when he does this sort of thing.

"Elena, I need you to listen to me." He searched my face, going from one eye to the other frantically. It reminded me of the time when my car crashed and he saved me, when we went on our first 'road trip'. "You are nothing like Katherine, the fact that you are worried about being like her, makes you nothing like her."

His thumbs rub circles on my cheeks and for a moment I couldn't focus on anything other than that.

"God, Elena, you are so different. So, so different. You have to see it, if you are ever going to believe anything I tell you, let it be this. Just believe this. That's why I love you, and not her. Because you're so different, because you're so much more beautiful on the inside."

I stare at him shocked. Shocked speechless to put it mildly. I always thought they compared me to her. I always felt deep inside that that's why they both claim to love 'me'. Because I'm all of her good parts, her good qualities. I'm fighting constantly trying to stay out of her shadow, to show them I'm nothing like her. Maybe I don't have to fight anymore; maybe he really does see me as me. Maybe he sees me as my own person.

And before I have time to dwell on that farther, before I even know what I'm doing. I'm reaching up and I'm kissing him. And he's kissing me back in a way that I never thought someone could kiss another person. Like I am air and he's suffocating, like I'm water and he's dying of thirst.

I'm getting pushed into the door behind me, his hands on both sides of my head against the door, trapping me. Like I was even thinking of escaping, like I was even thinking at all. I wrapped my arms around his neck pulling him impossibly closer. Like he could never get close enough. He can't get close enough.

And it's then that I realize as he lays me gently on the floor, as we fall asleep tangled in each other, as the sun rises and Caroline finally lets us out with a huge grin slapped on her face. That I've never felt like I've belong anywhere. I've never felt like I've belonged anywhere but with him.

Authors Note: This is a One Shot. Hope You like it =) Review please?