A/N: It's been forever since I posted anything. I was inspired by something random I read about Kanda and that episode of Regular Show. It's basically just two one-shots I put together ^^

Disclaimer: I don't own D. Gray - Man!

Split Ends

"Yuu-chan, what're you doing?"

"Che. Nothing."

"I'm pretty sure you were doing something."

"No, I wasn't," Kanda said, subtly lacing the simple sentence with venom.

Lavi, deliberately ignoring it, said, "Were you checking for split ends?"

"...No."

"Yes, you were, Yuu~"

"Shut up!"

Lavi gripped his stomach as his left eye turned into the half-crescent. He bursted into laughter as Kanda tied his hair back into its firm ponytail at the crown of his scalp.

The black-haired samurai scowled and decided to walk out.

He turned to leave, but the red string was pulled out of his hair before his calloused hand gripped the knob for the exit.

"What the hell? Lavi, give me my hair-tie back," he demanded as he whirled around to face the smug teen.

"You know, Yuu-chan, I read this thing once when we were in Edo and you know what it said?" Lavi asked as he tied the red thread to his right pinky.

Kanda, who knew what the story was, tried to fight down the heat that was starting to creep up his cheeks. Lavi walked up behind him. The red-haired teen raked his fingers through the black waterfall that cascaded down Kanda's back.

"Oh, Yuu, you have a split end right there-"

Kanda pulled all of his hair to one shoulder as his eyes began to critically inspect the ends of the black hair. Finding no flaw, he turned his head to look at Lavi.

Who was snickering like the child he is.

Kanda growled as Lavi smirked at the former.

"You're so gullible," Lavi teased.

"Shut up."

Ignoring the samurai's remark, Lavi put his arms over the former's shoulders and wafted his hands - emphasizing the hand with the red string - in front of his face. "They say that it bonds two lovers forever; the circumstance, place, or time doesn't count. No matter how far or how long the red string of fate is stretched or pulled, it'll never break." And right there, Lavi grabbed Kanda's hand and tied the red string on Kanda's left pinky finger. "It doesn't matter if it gets tangled or jumbled up, because it'll always stay connected."

Face flushed, Kanda turned around to fully face Lavi.

"Che."

"You just totally ruined the moment, Yuu."

Summertime Loving

The members of the Black Orders, excluding those on missions and those who didn't know of this meeting, were huddled in the semi-dark crevice of the reference books in the library.

Komui, Lenalee, Kanda, Allen, Krory Reever, and Bookman were sitting on the floor, planning something that they never thought they had to plan out.

"This his to be stopped," Reever darkly muttered.

"I second that," Allen added.

Kanda nodded, indicating he agreed.

"We need to stop Lavi from singing that song," Bookman said.

The rest nodded in agreement, each mentally planning out their plan.

Suddenly, Lavi strolled into the library, singing the song.

"It's summertime and you know what that means! Gonna head down to the beach, gonna do some beachy things! SUMMERTIME LUH-UH-UHVIN'! LOVIN' IN THE SUMMERTIME!"

That's right, the exorcists and science department of the Black Order have been dreading coming across the chipper redhead.

He's been singing the blasted song for the past week. And the bad part about it is...

he knows only one verse.

So the teen's been looping that one verse for an entire week non-stop. Literally.

"You're first," Reever anounced as he pointed to Komui.

Everyone else looked in his direction.

Komui groaned. "Fine."

And thus, the science department chief was thrown to the singing beast.

Attempt One, Komui

"Lavi-san, Komui-san needs you in his office," Toma said as Lavi flipped through the atlas.

"Summertime luh-uh-uhvin'" Lavi sang as he skipped to Komui's office.

"Lavi! I've decided to assign you to a mission with Bookman," Komui brightly said.

That should get rid of him for a couple weeks, Komui thought.

The next week: Attempt Two, Lenalee

"How was your mission, Lavi?" Lenalee asked as they sat down for lunch.

Lavi, who noticed that he really did sing the same verse over and over, began to replace what were the lyrics into what he needs to say.

"No-hoh-hoh-hoh so-oh ba-ad, there were a lot of akuma though!"

"Uh, so, Lavi, what level were they?"

"Le-heh-heh-vel two-ooh-ooh-ooh~"

Attempt Three, Allen

Lavi was singing in the shower. Which isn't unusual in the setting, but the pipes were made awkwardly because the Black Order bilding was tall and circular, so the pipes had to circle the building, connecting everything to everyone.

And it just so happens that Lavi's bathroom pipe is connected to Allen's.

It must be weird for Allen to hear Lavi's voice while the British boy was doing upside down push-ups on his thumb while the chair was balancing on one leg.

Allen, somehow expecting Lavi to sing in the shower, had clogged up the drainage pipe at the base while Lavi was eating dinner the night before.

Lavi continued singing, but the water soon began to rise, and the hot liquid began to engulf him. The albino heard sings for help, but ignored it.

Allen darkly chuckled, much similar to the way he did when someone mentions the redheaded, gun-bearing general.

But a loud splash was heard, and some coughing and singing began to restart.

"Summertime-" a cough, "lov-ih-hih-in'!"

Attempt Four, Bookman

"O-o-ow! Why did you throw a needle at me-heh, grandpa-ha!"

Attempt Five, Reever

"Lavi, be quit, please," Reever asked as the redhead strolled by him while the man was scribbling down random things on the paperwork.

"No-hoh-hoh tha-hay-hay-hay-hanks!"

Attempt Six, Krory

"Um, Lavi, could you-"

"I-I-I know what you're gonna ask! So do-hoh-n't even try~"

Attempt Seven, Kanda

"Lavi!"

"Ye-heh-hehs~?"

"Just. Shut. Up."

To spite the samurai, he continued to sing. "Summertime luh-vi-hih-hihn'! Lovin' in the summertime!"

"Lavi..."

"Gonna head down to the beach, gonna do some beachy things!"

"Don't say I didn't warn you..."

"Oh baby, why can't you be mine-"

Suddenly, Kanda lunged forward and clumsily crashed his lips against Lavi's.

"Can you shut up now?"

"Maybe."

Outside the door, the large group of exorcists, finders, some from the science department, and even Hevlaska cried out in joy.