A/N: The new, updated version of this story (with lyrics) has arrived! There's a version on AO3 without the lyrics under the same title as well if you'd prefer that. I'm under the same username over there.
Thanks for reading, enjoy!
On a walkway swarming with noisy people, a sullen looking blond made her way towards the silhouette of a building in the distance, barely seen in the last light of the day. The constant honking of cars assaulted her tired ears and a stuttered sigh escaped her lips. Her dim brown eyes traced the web-like design of cracks in the pavement as she walked on. Misa wove in and out of the dense crowd in attempt to pick up her pace- the idol didn't want to be stuck in the chilly autumn air past sundown.
Perfect by nature
Icons of self-indulgence
She knew her boyfriend, Light Yagami, was absolutely flawless with his dirty work- whatever dirty work it was that he did. There was never a trace of evidence left to expose him of his heinous crimes against humanity. Before she came to realize the odd air of secrecy around him, Misa used to love him with no regrets; she used to love everything about her precious Light. But times were changing and the tables were turning on the young woman. With each day, Light was becoming more indifferent towards his significant other, as if she was just another part of some elaborate lie Light had been telling her since day one. And his actions were growing bolder, his attitude becoming arrogant- this wasn't the way things used to be. The brown-haired genius was growing a cold, deceitful side to him, and these days Misa saw this side of Light more often than not.
Just what we all need
More lies about a world that
Never was and never will be
Light's lies were beginning to pile up on top of one another, each becoming more of a burden on Misa's mind than the one before it. He was two halves of a different person now; these two separate people had polar opposite personalities. One was polite, sane, and loving; while the other was cold, absolute, and murderous; the kind-hearted side of Light transforming into a façade. The warmer side of the young man was only real before the chaos that was a result of to his unhealthy obsession of killing criminals.
Misa was only a few yards from the office building now, only a few yards from her former lover (she didn't consider her one-sided infatuation with him much of a relationship at that point). It seemed that Light wasn't the only one holding out a fake shell of himself for the whole world to see. Misa had sensed new quirks in Light's personality and, at the same time realizing that his love for her wasn't exactly genuine. There was something horribly wrong with her Light, her only reason for living. But if she showed the public that she and Light were still a happy couple, then all would work out in the end, right? Well, that was what she was hoping.
Have you no shame? Don't you see me?
You know you've got everybody fooled
It was almost time for her boyfriend to retire for the day. Misa approached the location where she typically met Light, and stood there in contemplative silence when she arrived. Misa glanced down at the black and white striped watch to confirm that Light would in fact get there at any moment- he was always prompt, meeting her there each and every day after work. The watch had been a gift from her boyfriend when she believed that he actually loved her. Ah, how she missed the days when Light held at least some amount of affection for Misa.
The hand clock struck five o'clock, and seconds later the handsome man she expected excited the building from the door beside her. He passed right by her, and when he didn't show any signs of stopping, Misa yelled after him, "Light! Light, I'm over here! How was your day at work?" The idol smiled and rushed over to Light. He must've been so immersed in his work that day that he simply didn't notice her at first. Her boyfriend was such a hard worker.
When Misa grew closer to Light, however, he seemed to be in no mood to talk; he passed by his supposed girlfriend once again, not casting a single glance in her direction. He continued to briskly walk towards his car.
This only further confused Misa. "Light? Light, is there something wrong?"
Once again, no answer or recognition of her existence came Misa's way. The young woman ran towards the parking lot where Light's car was parked. Light pulled out a pair of keys from his pocket, unlocked his car, and just as he climbed into the vehicle, Misa had finally made it over to him. Her fingers grazed over Light's arm as she attempted to grab it, but the door snapped shut too quickly. The detective steadily backed his car out of its parking, and as Light directed it towards the street, his eyes locked with Misa's. Misa could've sworn she had seen Light's eyes flash from his normal brown to striking red. It felt as if his eyes had peered directly into her soul.
Light then turned his head back to the road, focusing his gaze back on the traffic ahead of him. Only one person remained in the parking lot; this person was Misa Amane.
Her eyes glazed over as thoughts of his most recent neglectful behavior ran rampant through her mind. A shaky hand flew to her mouth and she whispered into it, "Light… why?" before breaking down on the asphalt, the sound of wracked sobs filling the air.
Look here she comes now
Bow down and stare in wonder
Oh how we love you
No flaws when you're pretending
Curled into the fetal position on the asphalt parking lot, Misa couldn't help but question if Light was indeed ignoring her or somehow hadn't seen her after all. Deep down though, Misa knew Light was too perceptive to not notice her at all.
A solid thunk resounded through Light and Misa's shared apartment as Misa unlocked the front door. Mascara was smeared under and to the side of her glassy, irritated eyes; her skin held an unhealthy pallor.
But now I know
She never was and never will be
You don't know how you've betrayed me
She stumbled into the living room and collapsed on a tall chair next the kitchen bar when she witnessed an odd event: her Light Yagami, clad in formal work pants and a white dress shirt, casually standing next to the kitchen table. All right, so maybe that part wasn't all that weird, but what was strange was the apple that sat in the palm of his hand. It had numerous bites in it, and after Misa blinked, she could have sworn that there was one more bite in the fleshy red skin than a second ago.
Light glanced to the fruit in his hand, an annoyed expression gracing his features. At this unlikely sight, Misa quirked an eyebrow. Putting that thought to the side momentarily, she remembered her reason for confronting Light and chose to act on it.
Misa looked at her former lover, liquid pooling once again in her eyes, "Light, didn't you s-see me?" Her voice broke in the middle of the question, the weight of the situation pressing down on her from all directions.
Light's lips pursed and eyebrows drew together in confusion, but the unreadable flash of red in his eyes betrayed him. "Misa, I have no idea what you're talking about."
And somehow you've got everybody fooled
The tiny model frowned- she could sense that something wasn't quite right with Light, but she wasn't sure what. Anyways, picking a fight with man like Light was pointless; it was as useless as a baby trying to steal candy back from a malicious teenager. She couldn't trump Light no matter how hard she tried; arguing just wasn't her strong suit.
"Never mind, I guess it doesn't really matter." She cast her eyes to her black, studded high-heels. It just wasn't worth it to start a scuffle in which she had no chance of victory.
But she knew he'd seen her. Any other option was nothing short of impossible; she had been right next to him for God's sake! The real question was why he hadn't said anything- not even a basic acknowledgement of her existence.
Meanwhile, as Misa was lost in her thoughts, Light Yagami smirked quietly. Of course he had seen her- it was never hard to pick out the little blonde Lolita in a crowd. He told himself that he only had to make a few more jabs at her fragile mental state. After that, she was likely to dispose of herself without Light even having to get his hands dirty.
Without the mask, where will you hide?
Can't find yourself, lost in your lie
After today's events, Misa felt as if her stomach was full of rocks. A chill washed over her. "L-Light, I'm feeling a little cold. Would you mind making me a cup of coffee?" Once again, the brunette smirked internally.
Light decided to further confuse her by putting on a sweet and innocent façade. If he did so, maybe Misa truly would believe Light hadn't seen her. On the outside, Light smiled warmly at his "lover" and approached her calmly, "Of course, dear. You go lay down on the couch, and I'll prepare you a nice, warm mug of coffee. Do you want a blanket as well?" He asked her in the most innocent manner he could muster.
Misa nodded her head slowly, affirming that she would appreciate an extra layer of warmth. The delicate girl wondered over to the empty couch, and eased her exhausted body onto it. Light ambled towards the coffee maker and prepared a fresh pot. A few moments later, Misa was covered in a plush blanket. She hesitantly looked up at the young man hovering above her. His eyes creased with worry as he gazed at her.
Light asked in a concerned tone, "What's wrong, dear?" At her boyfriend's voice, Misa averted her eyes from Light, "You look stressed; your make-up is even running."
Misa had a bit of trouble coming up with an excuse on the spot. Would he be able to see right through whatever lie she threw at him? Probably, but she wasn't about to give him the satisfaction of directly telling Light that he had caused this.
She faked an over-exaggerated sigh. "The movie I'm in is so tiring! It's exhausting, the way I always have to stay in character, especially since her personality is so different than mine!"
Light nodded his head in mock understanding and snapped his eyes shut. He was surprised that his question hadn't fully broken her. Perhaps he would have to try even harder to break her resolve.
Opening his eyes, Light questioned further, "And what about your make-up? You usually take so much care when you put it on."
Misa scrunched up her tiny nose. "After they finished shooting for the day, Misa-Misa decided to walk home. It started to rain, and Misa reached her hand over her eyelashes and smeared her make-up! Rain is the worst!"
Light smiled over at his girlfriend, and ran a hand through his hair, "Now then, that's more like the Misa I know." He reached his hand over to cradle her cheek, before planting a chaste kiss on it. As he departed to the kitchen to prepare Misa the coffee he'd promised her, a soft squeal of delight escaped Misa's lips.
As Light lingered in the kitchen, Misa squeezed her eyes tightly shut. Though she knew this was a fake romance of convenience, she couldn't bring herself to fully hate him.
She knew her eternal devotion would be her eventual downfall.
The wind whistles as I push the heavy metal door out of my way. Sticky tears streak down my pale, gaunt cheeks. Heavy, wracked sobs escape my mouth and resonate in this hollow heart I have left. I gaze at my surroundings to find myself on the roof of a tall skyscraper.
I know the truth now
I know who you are
And I don't love you anymore
Collapsing against the rusty door, salty liquid runs out of my red-rimmed eyes in a constant steam. Who am I? Who is this cold, empty person that was once Misa Amane? Without Light, I'm nothing- I don't care that he mentally abused me. At the end of the day, he was still the one that took care of me, completed me, even if it was all a farce.
I reach a shaking hand up to my eyes and wipe bitter tears off of my face in vain. It's obvious that I'm not the Misa Amane that everyone knew and loved anymore. I'm a ghost of Misa-Misa that was left behind, one who has nothing left to love in this Lightless world.
Blindly, I grab the golden, diamond-encrusted ring on my left hand and chuck it over the ledge of the tall building. I raise a hand to the door to the side of me and bang it in desperation until it's bruised and bloody.
The fame, the fortune… none of it even matters. I've lost my one and only love, my fiancé. I have no other reason to exist in this world. Slowly, I rise to my feet. I look up at the cloudy gray sky above me.
In the back of my head, a familiar, evil voice whispers, 'It's the perfect day to die. A stormy, dark day; Valentine's Day is an ideal time to commit suicide out of heartbreak.' I nod along, not even caring that I'm so unwell that some false voice is speaking to me. None of it matters anymore. Their wish is my command.
It never was and never will be
Suddenly the voice speaks again and this time I recognize its timbre. 'I never loved you, Misa. I never cared for you- not once.'
I know the man I love is dead and gone, but somehow his voice is trapped in my mind. Sharp, half-moon bruises form on my palms as I dig my nails into them, "Leave me alone; go away!" I scream in desperation.
You don't know how you've betrayed me
Light's voice whispers to me, 'I hate you.' It's not the first time I've heard him say it since his death. In fact, it's probably been over a hundred times by now.
While in times past I had fought back, tried to will the voice away, this time I could only whimper back to Light, "S-shut up…" and clamp both hands over my ears. But of course that didn't help, it never did- covering your ears only silences noise outside of one's head.
And somehow you've got everybody fooled
Not being able to bear it any longer, I rush over to the roof's stone ledge. This is it, this is how it'll all end. I'll finally be at peace.
As if he's been waiting for it, Light's voice whispers daringly, 'Jump.' I nod at his command, fully intending to go through with it.
And that's when I hear it. At first I only barely register it as a sound, but the bells gradually crescendo until I can barely hear Light screaming, 'JUMP!' over the massive sounds of melodic, clanging metal.
I take a stop forward, but this time my foot doesn't meet the cement rooftop. It stays suspended in air, above lovers strolling down the sidewalk hand in hand, above cars driven by fathers speeding home to see their family after a long day of work.
But I don't have anyone to go home to. No lover, no family. I take another step forward and the only thing under both of my feet now is air.
My life isn't flashing before my eyes even though I'm surely falling to my death; I don't see a white light as if heaven is coming to save me from plunging into the fiery pits of hell. Instead, I feel a set of familiar arms securely hugging my waist as I squeeze my eyes tightly shut. For the last time in my life, I hear Light's voice speak to me, and this time it's something I hoped I'd never hear him say.
'I am Kira.'
My eyes snap open as I collide with the roof of a car. My body throbs all over, but in some twisted way, it's a comforting feeling. A soft smile creeps over my face as my vision dims and the pain fades away into ice-cold numbness.
It never was and never will be
You're not real and you can't save me
Somehow now you're everybody's fool
A/N: It's your choice whether Misa or Light was the real fool. Or maybe they both were, who knows.
Thanks again for reading!