I do not own Totally Spies in any form. This is a work of fanfiction.
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Chapter 1: moving on
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Clover sat in the therapist's office, discussing the events of her career in the field with a PMC. She couldn't talk about her current line of work, due to the nature of it, but the rest was open for her to discuss. "...what happened after that?" The therapist asked, having reached a point in her story that he believed was the cause of her distress.
"It's tough to talk about it." She said, closing her eyes.
"It's tough to remember, but I can only help if you let me."
She began recounting the events that happened back in her field days. She brought up how she was part of an artillery spotting team, and how an improvised explosive device took someone very close to her.
...
A spotter team for the 251st Nomad field artillery was moving to a new OP, going through the city. The fighting was so intense, one could hardly turn their head without hearing a shot barely miss them or hit a wall nearby. The team took a path through an abandoned shopping center, still treading carefully toward their objective. Much to their misfortune, a well hidden IED with motion trigger detonated close by. One of the rifleman was killed in the blast, two support gunners, one of which was Clover's girlfriend at the time were heavily wounded. Clover, who was the forward observer, took shrapnel to her right leg and foot, right side of her abdomen and arm. The other rifleman was only knocked off his feet for a moment, and when he came to, he started to administer first aid to the others.
The enemy having seen and heard the explosion, started calling for backup to that part of the city. Clover knew they would surely be killed if they didn't either get reinforcements or evacuation soon. "Baseplate, this is Viper one-bravo. Taking fire, wounded, one possible dead. Request medevac to grid square One Five Hotel, X-ray six, Yankee seven, over"
Baseplate soon replied. "Copy your location, Viper. We have infantry elements in your AO, will dispatch to your location. Over."
"Interrogative, what's their ETA?"
"Four minutes. Closest unit is the Vorschlaghammer 119 Infanterie. Will advise if situation changes, over."
Clover looked around and saw troops on the ground moving for their position. She took cover by a burned out car and started shooting at them to keep them back for as long as possible. At one point, her M16 jammed and she started trying to clear it. "This piece of shit is gonna get us killed!" She said, starting to shake slightly.
Her girlfriend offered her machine gun, a Chinese Type 81 MGS. "Clover, take mine. Can't use it right now."
"Thanks, babe." Clover responded.
Clover dropped her rifle and took the offer, taking the machine gun and rig. She took her position again and resumed firing. The enemy started backing off when they saw her shooting something that wasn't jamming. Eventually, they started getting smart about approaching the position and started to move around to flank them. At one point, she heard the whine of a large supercharged engine and knew what was coming. Soon enough, her fears were realized. A T-72M was moving up the street facing them, moving past what appeared to be a hotel of some sort. When the turret turned to them, Clover felt her heart skip a beat. "Shit! Dolphin's glassed us!" She shouted over the radio (Dolphin= T-72, used as reference since the 1972 Miami Dolphins had an undefeated season).
"Not if I'm here, firing on target." Came a voice over the radio from out of nowhere.
One tank gun fired an APFSDS round at the enemy tank, the round passing through the vehicle and igniting the powder charges in the carousel, making the hatches blow open and belch out smoke, then bright red fire. The rest of the enemy forces on the ground started retreating, knowing that their chances of winning the fight now just went down. What soon appeared was one of the modified Chinese Type 99 tanks, and much to the relief of the Viper unit, it was friendly. "Baseplate, Paladin two-seven Alpha. Holding position at grid One Five Hotel, x-ray six, Yankee seven. I'll hold the line here as needed, over."
"Paladin, you were instructed to hold position. Return to position now." The armored commander barked over the radio.
"Sir, I'll take the heat later. We've got wounded and they'd probably be dead if I hadn't shown up, over." The tanker replied.
"Fine. Get them out and return to refuel and rearm. Out."
"Viper, I'll keep them back as best I can. Help is coming. Over."
"Thanks for the assist, Paladin." Clover responded.
After a moment where Clover could take a brief rest, the radio came to life again. "Paladin two-seven Alpha, this is Duke. I'm headed to your AO. ETA one minute, over."
"Copy, Duke. Viper, air support incoming. Duke can help thin the herd of armor coming in."
Several other enemy tanks showed up, but they were beyond outdated and outmatched against the current Chinese tank. T-55 units approached, but never even had the chance to fire at the Type 99. Out of nowhere, Paladin called over the radio in excitement. "OOH! Lion of Babylon! Come and get it, bitch!"
Duke came back on the radio, somewhat annoyed. "Leave one of those for me."
"You can take the units outside the city. This one is mine."
The Type 99 moved forward, as if giving the Asad Babil (Lion of Babylon, the Iraqi copy of the T-72M) a fair shot at him. The Asad Babil fired an armor piercing round at the Type 99, hitting it on the turret. Since the Asad Babil only had steel armor piercing rounds instead of the tungsten rounds, and since the Type 99 had explosive reactive armor blocks on the turret, the round had little effect, only damaging a couple of the ERA blocks. "My turn. Round away."
Paladin fired a high explosive, anti tank round at the Asad Babil, striking it just below and to the starboard side of the gun. The explosion cooked off the ammunition in the turret and blew it out of the hull, killing all of the crew. After another minute, the radio came back to life, this time with voices from the infantry unit coming in. "Panzer, wir nähern uns der Rückseite. Nicht schießen." (Tank, we are approaching to the rear. Hold fire.) was heard.
"Verstanden. Verwundet sind zu meiner Linken." (Understood, wounded are to my left.) Was heard from Paladin.
A German infantry unit ran up to the wounded team and began applying first aid to prep them for evac. Clover saw the patch on the one who was helping her, it said "Hitler-Jugend" (Hitler youth). "Hitler-Jugend? Was ist das?" (Hitler youth? What is that?" Clover asked him.
"Meine Opa war Sturmfuhrer bei der SS. Seit ich Enkel bin, bin ich von der Jugend." (My grandpa was a Sturmfuhrer in the SS. Since I'm his grandchild, I'm of the youth.)
"Duke on location. Request clearance to engage hostile armor outside the city."
"Copy, Duke. Cleared to engage hostile armor." Baseplate replied.
Several large explosions rocked the edge of the city. indicating where Duke was hitting targets. After a minute or so, Paladin came over the radio again. "Baseplate, this is Paladin. AT threat indicator going crazy, multiple hits showing up in the building 300 meters north by northwest. Request clearance to engage."
"Wait one." Baseplate came back, then went silent for a moment. "Negative. Building is a factor. Paint the building with laser for Duke."
The tank's turret turned to the building and projected the laser. "Duke, you get it?"
"Affirmative, Paladin. Moving to engage."
Duke flew in low and started strafing the building on the side facing the tank. The rate of fire from the GAU-8 was so high, it almost seemed to turn the side of the building into dust as chunks started falling from it. "Good effect on target, Duke. AT threat down."
The radio came up again with more units incoming. "Gepanzerte Personenträger nach hinten. Bring verwundet." (Armored personnel carriers to the rear. Bring wounded.)
After the wounded were treated and ready to move to the APC's, the German commander called to the tank. "Panzer, wir brauchen Deckung. Rauch verbrauchen." (Tank, we need cover. Deploy smoke.)
"Ja. Bereitstellung in drei, zwei, eins..." (Yes. Deploying in 3, 2, 1...) Came from the tank, which then popped smoke grenades off to provide cover as the others were pulled over to the waiting APC units.
Once inside the APC, Clover was able to talk to her girlfriend again. She took her hand as the rear ramps closed and the medics began working on her more intensely. "Clover, this was a hell of a day, wasn't it?" She asked with a light chuckle.
"Bad part is, we can't say this isn't what we signed up for." Clover replied as they both shared a laugh.
...
"I held her hand until we got back to the field hospital. Somewhere along the way, I felt her grip starting to let go. I knew she had slipped away, but I felt like I had to hold on just a little more."
"I can understand how that would affect someone. How did you feel when that happened?" The therapist asked.
"I can't really say. I was sad, yes. It cut pretty deep to hold the hand of a loved one as they passed on. At the same time, I felt kind of relieved. I knew we were out of the fight, and I kept thinking that maybe the medics could maybe revive her. When I woke up in the hospital, I asked about her and they told me she didn't make it. I wanted to cry, but I couldn't bring myself to."
"Were you holding those feelings in?"
"No. I really wanted to cry, I wanted to let go. But something kept me from doing it."
"Did you ever come to terms with her passing?"
"I like to think I have. When I saw her casket being lowered, I felt like I had reached the end of something. I finally shed a tear, but it wasn't what I had expected. When I finally got home, My dear friend Sam helped me let go. Like a dam broke and it all just came out of me."
"Do you feel like you had closure?"
"I want to visit her grave again."
The therapist wrote something down as she replied. "Is there anything out of that battle that stands out to you? Maybe some part of why you couldn't cry right away?"
Clover thought for a moment. "Probably the adrenaline. But it did strike me as odd that the tanker who helped us was able to effortlessly take on so many targets and wasn't shaken up. That, and Duke doing the same from the air. The tanker even seemed excited about firing at that one tank."
"They weren't on the ground like you were. They were protected by machines and had far more firepower than yourself and the others. Obviously, they weren't quite as worried about it as you were. As for their moods, I can only imagine that they had been in the fight for so long, it just didn't get to them quite so much. It may affect them later in life, however."
Clover sat and thought for a moment. "Is it bad that I wasn't as shaken up about shooting all of those people who were attacking us as I was my girlfriend dying?"
"I wouldn't say so. You had it in your mind that you were fighting to protect comrades and even a loved one. That took precedence in your mind and you were able to engage the others with a relatively clear head."
"I suppose that makes sense."
...
With the session now over, Clover went out to the lobby and met with her girlfriend Sam. Sam took her in close for a hug. "How did it go?" Sam asked.
"I think I'm making progress. I'll still need to visit her, but I think I'm getting along."
"You want to go to her now? We have the time."
Clover thought about it for a moment. "Yes."
They took their leave of the office and started heading for her late girlfriend's cemetery. The ride was rather quiet, but it didn't take very long to get there. They walked along the main path and came to her grave. Sam stood back and let Clover go to her. Clover took a knee by her plot and looked at the headstone. She tried remembering all of the good times they had before their last deployment. "I don't want to think about you being gone. I just want to remember the good things. Watching movies, laughing at YouTube videos, nights where we would just pig out on pizza or Chinese food because we didn't want to leave the apartment." Clover smiled as she chuckled lightly. "But I have to thank you for what you did. If you hadn't given me your gun, the guys on foot might have gotten closer to us. Anyways, I hope you enjoy your rest. God knows, you've earned it."
Clover stayed on her knee for a moment and shed one more tear. She kissed her hand and placed it on the headstone, then stood up to leave with Sam. "How you feeling?" Sam asked.
"Better. I want to come back on some dates, like her birthday, but I think I'll be okay for now."
...
A few weeks later, Clover had some time to clear her head. She kept up on her appointments with her therapist, started showing back up to work more often and generally feeling better about herself. She was brighter and friendlier than she had been before getting closure. Her continued relationship with Sam helped keep her going, but they both knew it wouldn't be forever. One night, they sat down on the couch and talked. "Sam, you've been the best friend I could have ever asked for. You've put your time aside to help me through a tough time in my life. I can never thank you enough."
Sam took her hand and smiled. "Hey, friends do things like that. I'm sure you would've done the same for me."
"Of course." Clover said, taking her hand and kissing it. "But I think we both know..." Clover trailed off.
"Yeah, I think I know what you're getting at." Sam said, seeing where the conversation was going. "I didn't want you to feel lonely. I never thought you'd do anything extreme, but I didn't want you to think I didn't want to help."
"I couldn't do anything like that to friends and family. But I guess..."
"Yeah. But remember, if you ever need someone to talk to, I'm here for you."
"Certainly. But hey, before we call it off, can I ask one little favor?"
"Anything."
Clover turned to look at Sam directly. "May I have one last kiss?"
They both closed their eyes as Sam came in and gave Clover one last kiss as a couple. "Anything else, let me know."
"Thanks."
They both got up and went to their bedrooms for the night. As Clover laid awake in her bed, she smiled as she closed her eyes. "Thank you both."