I Want Him to Survive
BY: Wolfa Moon
Summary: Castiel gets something back that the boys want.
Disclaimer: I began writing this after 'Caged Heat'. And now after Death's episode. It has become AU.
PN: I hate my mind.
PLEASE REVIEW!
I Want Him to Survive
Castiel looked up sadly at the three angels who stood before him. Who stood before him grasping tightly at the item in their hands. He simply nodded and they approached.
I Want Him to Survive: 1
Dean lay on the bed flipping through books while Sam did his normal research on the laptop. Then a flapping of wings had them all on alert.
There Cas stood swaying. Looking haggard. His eyes searched the room and fell upon Sam. Sam stared at him then stood quickly. Seeing something inside their friend. Cas eyes tightened and crouched forward. Sam grabbed him. Dean coming up behind him.
"What the hell?" Together they moved him to Sam's unslept in bed. For he doesn't sleep. Not anymore. Castiel tightened up into a ball, squirming. Sam did something so out of his recent nature. He sat beside the obviously in pain angel. Beginning to stroke his hair. Dean watched in amazement at Sam's compassion. Knowing the unsouled Sam could fake it pretty well. Yet this Sam sitting beside their angel seemed like the old Sam. His Sam. Sam looked up at Dean with tears in his eyes. This shocked Dean even worse. Dean sat down on the bed. "Sam," Sam continued to cry. "What?"
"I don't know. I just…" Sam never stopped his soothing motions through Castiel's hair. Looking down at the angel. Castiel began to move. "Easy." Sam spoke gently. Dean could only watch in shock. His soul breaking at seeing the former Sam coming through. If Castiel had to be with them forever to see his old Sam. Dean would find a way to tether the angel. Breaking his heart in the process at capturing the angel if needed. Castiel groaned again. Eyes blinking up at Sam. Pain filled.
"Cas, talk to me. What's wrong?" his eyes squeezed tight at the pain. The brother's hands began to roam over his body searching for an injury. Then he stiffened.
"Someone's coming." Voice alerting them. He tried to get up. Pain evident in every move. Sam and Dean trying to get him to lay back down. They would fight whatever is coming. But he fought to stand. So they relented and helped him stand. Between them. Each supporting the angel up. His angel blade slipping down his arm to be held in his hand. Yet his fingers grasped limply at it. Sam waiting to pounce on whatever it is. Dean stood there. Worry written all over his face. His mind still reeling at what had just transpired.
The door then flew open. Wind gusted in. Then there stood someone who they thought never to be seen again. Dean still had the proof in his duffle.
"Hello boys."
I Want Him to Survive: 2
The figure walked in. Chuckling.
"We thought you were dead." Dean spoke to the new arrival.
"I was." Cas chose that moment to swoon. Dean and Sam capturing him but then he was gone from their grasp. Stunned they looked around the room. Eyes falling on the bed.
"Stupid little brother." Gabriel had laid Castiel on the bed he formally possessed.
"Gabriel." Cas spoke weakly.
"You stupid angel." Castiel grinned weakly. Gabriel grinned back but scowled. Looking to the brothers. "I hope you are happy." Gabriel turned to his brother. Sam moved from his stance to sit beside Castiel.
"What did he do?"
"Something stupid." Gabriel sighed. "He got your soul back. But only three fourths of it. And he is trying to fix it by blending it through his grace. Trying to take all that they done to it. Stupid." Gabriel shakes his head. "He has done it once under orders now this is blasphemy."
"Before?" Gabriel looked to Dean like he is an idiot. Sam always getting it faster.
"When he pulled Dean out." Sam snorted and looked to Dean. "Your special bond." Dean rolled his eyes. That's how he knew when Cas was always close by. Gabriel stood from the bed.
"So how do we get it out of him?" Dean asked.
"He's not done trying to fix it yet." Gabriel moved to the door. Listening. "I have to go." He looked back down at Castiel. Every since he had come back somehow. He had been standing fighting beside his little brother. Fighting for the right side. He smiled in amazement at the little general. Fighting so many battles. "Keep him safe." And he was gone.
The brothers stared at each other. Sam positioning himself better on the bed. Realizing that is why he is so enamored with Castiel at the moment. Why he didn't want to leave him. His soul is inside their angel. Dean moved to the other side where Gabriel was.
"So what do we do?" Sam asked lost. Dean missed his little brother.
"We wait." Dean tried to ease Castiel into a more relaxed position. His hand moving to his sweat covered brow. "Damn, he's burning up." They were not the people to sit and do nothing. "Sam get a wet towel. Cold water." Sam went at the order. Cas groaned. "Easy man." Dean remembered the time not long before when he was falling. Weak from the whore's spell. All for them. In pain again because of them. Remembering the blood that trickled out of his mouth. Wiping it away on his jacket sleeves. Then exploding twice. All for them. Always asking so much of him.
Sam came back in the room. Placing the towel on Cas' head. Easing his hand though Cas' hair. Sam smiled. "What?" Dean asked at his brothers, smiling blushing face.
"So this is what I have been missing?"
"So you can feel it?"
"I guess. I'm not sure. " Sam licks his lips. Trying to put into words what he felt being around the angel now. "It just…" Felt like home. Dean didn't have to hear his brother say it but he knew. Knew from that tone that had been silent from the resurrected Sam.
"Yeah." Feeling the same way before. He's getting his brother back.
I Want Him to Survive: 3
Cas moaned and twitched while he fought to calm the soul. Ease all the hurt that Lucifer unleashed upon it. The wrath of Michael. All that and the years upon years of torture. Shaking and sweating. Dean rested for a while. While Sam who didn't sleep watched every twitch and moan. Soothed his hands through the angel's hair. Taking off the trench coat while he watched Cas sweat at the storm raging inside. In his mind pondering at what the angel is doing for him. Healing a soul that all said was impossible to get. Impractical to mend. Dean had told him it had taken about fifteen angels to get him out. How many did it take to get his soul out? Cas said angels numbers aren't infinite. And they have a war going on. Losing numbers every day. How many?
Looking over the fragile angel. Sam looked startled.
Cas was no longer moaning. No longer twitching. This startled Sam. When had it stopped? Moving to Cas' face. He held a hand over his mouth. Barely breathe.
"Dean," what was going on? "DEAN!" this woke Dean as he came over to the bed.
"Sam, what?"
"I don't think Cas can do it." Dean sat down. Placing his fingers along the pulse point. Dean moved his hands over Castiel's heart. Feeling the breath still being taken in. Dean closed his eyes.
"He can do it Sam." Dean had to believe it. He couldn't lose both of them. For that is what would happen if Castiel died. "Come on Cas." Sam titled his head as Dean began to cry.
"Dean?" Dean shakes his head. Not wanting to let his brother see how much this will break him. "Dean," Sam spoke again. Dean forces himself to look up. Sam looking down at Cas. Dean followed his gaze. Castiel's eyes were fluttering. "Castiel?" the head turned toward Sam's voice.
"Sam," a mere whisper.
"Yeah Cas we're here." Cas tried to raise an arm. Motioning him closer. Sam moved in. With the swiftness of the angel of old he grabbed the back of Sam's head and brought him down toward him. Making their mouths meet. Dean watched shocked at what was happening. Then he watched the light flow from Cas into Sam.
The hand slipped from the back of Sam's head. Cas going limp. Dean looked from Cas to Sam who sat stunned then looked to Dean. Sam smiled. Then promptly collapsed on top of Cas.
I Want Him to Survive: 4
Dean had laid them out next to each other. He just watches as they both slept. Mostly taking in Sam, actually sleeping. Cas groaned and fidgeted. Then Sam copied it. What the hell. Dean seemed to feel it as well. He kept rubbing at his shoulder. Going over Gabriel's words. Bonded. Thinking on all the times Cas had called him his charge. Their special bond. Now it appeared to be a family affair. Sam stirred this time. Flipping over more to snuggle up close to the angel. Ok, Gay, thought Dean. But what the hey. He did just save his soul. Dean moved off the bed. Something still was bothering him. If they were bonded? Dean began to do something hippie-ish. And something very old fashion.
He concentrated on Castiel. Seeing him in all his glory. Picturing him smiting demons. Seeing if he can connect with the angel. Get him to wake up. Holding that image and prayed. Prayed to the only one who ever listened to his prayers.
Castiel
I Want Him to Survive: 5
Castiel seemed to stir a little in his sleep. He tried several times to make himself move. But he found he could not. Then he let his eyes creep open. Finally.
His eyes taking in the sparkled ceiling above him.
"Cas," hearing the voice he turns to see Dean sitting beside him.
"Dean," he croaked.
"Thank God." Dean said. His prayers had been answered. "How do you feel?" Castiel tried to move but could not for the weight that was upon him. Lifting his only free arm he touched the weight. He looked to Dean.
"It's Sam." Dean answers the questioning eyes. And the next one. "Been like that since you kissed his soul back into him." Cas merely nodded. Twisting his head he looked down at his resouled charge. Seeing only a head full of hair. He raised his free hand, feebly and touched Sam. Sam stirred under the touch. But didn't wake. Seeming to bury himself more into the angel's side. "Is he ok?" Dean asked him.
"Yes," Cas stroked Sam's hair in the same gesture that Sam had done for him. Dean simply smiled.
"So you gonna tell me what you did?"
"I retrieved his soul. Cleansed it. I did what you have been asking of me."
"Including blasphemy."
"That is nothing new." Dean had smirk at that. Castiel had broken a number of angelic rules and ways since becoming earthbound. Most of them for the brothers. Hell practically all.
"So is Sam, Sam?" Dean watched as Cas closed his eyes seeming to concentrate. His hand stilling of motion. Sam stirred at the silent intrusion upon his person.
Waking he looked up and smiled at Castiel than Dean.
"Hey Sam you okay?"
"Yeah I feel great." Sitting up. "Spectacular, even." He looked at Cas who made no intention to move. "Cas you okay."
"I will be." Still making no motion to rise. Sam looked the paralyzed angel over.
"You don't look okay?"
"I am trying to wean off the effects of what they did." He breathed. "One at a time."
Them gathering that if they put the soul in without Castiel's treatment. Sam would be the drooling mass they had discussed about if they got the soul out and just shoved it right back down his throat.
"Anything we can do?" Sam asked picking up the long forgotten towel that they had used to cool down Castiel's brow.
"I would like to sit up." The brothers moved on that statement of help. Sitting Cas up the body went to far forward. Castiel giving a grunt of pain at the maneuver. Pillows flew behind Cas as they sat him up against the headpiece. "Thank you."
"Thank you, Cas." Sam spoke. Feeling like a new man he moved around the room. Dean and Cas watched as the newly ensiled Sam took in his surrounds. Looking completely free. And that dark aura that had surrounded seems to fade. Sam smiled at them. Jumping on the other bed and proceeded to act like a kid. Jumping on the bed. Cas could only watch in question. Dean laughed.
Dean had his Sam back. Castiel smiled. Proceeding to slump further down. The paralysis making him a lump of useless flesh. A great being contained to it's vessel needs. His grace needing time to heal. After giving up a part of himself for the younger Winchester. He felt the mans glee at being himself again. Felt so much more than he wanted. But it had to be done. For his other charge. The older of the brothers had been in sorrow. Feeling it during every battle in heaven. Feeling the lose of a brother worse at having the connection to Dean. The torment of having to kill his legion of brothers and sisters. Never listening. The count rising. Too many.
"Cas, you okay?" Dean moved in close to the dazing angel. Tears running down the angel's face.
Sam stopped. His heart looking at the angel. Then he felt it. The ache of whatever was bothering the angel. How did he feel? Slapping a hand to his chest. Jumping off the bed he moved to Castiel as well. Dean picked up the towel and wiped at Castiel's leaking eyes. "Easy man." Sam picked up Cas' dead weight holding the sad angel to his beating chest. "Sam, what the hell?"
"I don't know. I can feel it. He's sad. Like major. Like the many times I lost you." Cas whined a little. Sam pulled him closer to his chest. "We're here Cas." Sam rested his head on the dark locks. "We're here." Dean came up beside Cas. Laying a hand on his friend. "Dean, we need to get out of here. Need to get him someplace safe."
"Ok where." Dean looked at the two of them. "Sam what is going on?"
"Cas is falling apart. I don't know. But I can feel it. And I know something is majorly wrong. I can just.. I don't know." He hugged Cas tighter to him. "Dean, what Gabriel said? Blending his grace with my soul. Trying to fix it. " Sam huffed. "I can feel Cas." Dean rubbed his shoulder. "As can you."
"So what do we do?"
"Leave, regroup. Give him time enough to recoup from all of what Lucifer did to my soul. And we go from there. Fight the fight." Dean shrugged. Seemed like a good plan.
I Want Him to Survive: 6
They went to the only place that they deemed safe.
Bobby opened he door. Stepping forward quickly to help at seeing the family's angel limp between the two brothers.
"What the hell happened?" Sam moved ahead to get the couch clear for their angel. No one answered Bobby. Bobby could only stand back and watch the brother's work in union. Like old times as they moved to care for their fallen friend. Like old. "What's going on?" Sam moved so Castiel's head was in his lap. For he was feeling the struggle going on inside the angel. He felt when the weights changed to a new problem he was mending. Damn, Sam could only think. What the hell had Lucifer done to his soul? Castiel was only letting him feel the mere edge of what had happened. Bobby folded his arms over his chest to watch them. Dean had ran to the kitchen and back to his angel. Wet towel in hand he laid it on Castiel's forehead. Bobby could only watch. Mainly Sam. Sam seemed to truly be caring. Sam looked up at Bobby. Looked up with tears in his eyes. Bobby moved quickly forward. The younger brother was showing emotion. "What happened?"
"Cas got my soul back." Bobby knelt down. Laying a hand on Castiel's too hot forehead.
"He's burning up."
"Yeah," Dean said getting a quilt and laying it over the twitching body. "Healing a soul will do that I guess." Bobby looked down at Castiel. The angel had done it. Done the impossible.
"How? I thought that.." is impossible. Cas groaned. Twitching with discomfort. Sam shivered with the aftershocks. Dean rubbed his shoulder. Bobby observed the angel's discomfort radiating to the brothers. "So you gonna explain?" Dean sighed.
"Cas kinda bonded us. When he gripped me tight and when he tried to fix Sam's soul by infusing it with his grace."
"His grace." Looking to Sam. "How do you feel?" Sam shrugged.
"Okay, I guess. I just. There is .. I can feel a haze of it. But then it spikes every once and a while and I get a hint of what the true amount is. And.." he shakes his head. "I wouldn't be able to handle it." Castiel groaned louder again. Arching his back of cushions.
"What the hell?" Dean clamored off to hold the angel down. Bobby reared back. Sam cowered over the thrashing angel.
"Back away." The three turned to the voice. Gabriel stood there. Moving over to his younger brother. Dean looked defiant. Sam didn't move. Gabe smirked moving over to the hell strung angel. He kneeled down taking a fisted hand. Threading his fingers through the others. Gabriel closed his eyes. Turning his head to the side he swore. Dean noticed.
"What?"
"It's too much for him. Idiot." Gabriel glared at Sam. "I hope you are lucky." Gabriel tightened his handhold.
"Is Cas dying?" Dean asked the most important worrisome question.
"In a way. But I won't allow him." Gabriel straightened. "They need him." Here and upstairs. Gabriel closed his eyes. Concentrating on his fallen brother. He tried to heal the damage. For it was a fester throughout Castiel's grace.
Sam shuddered. Feeling whatever Gabriel was doing for Castiel. Dean stared at them both. Castiel shuddered then stilled. Gabriel let go of his hand and stood. Then he left.
Sam turned quickly at the stillness in his arms. Dean looked down as well sinking to his knees. Wondering what the hell Gabriel had done. Raising a hand he laid it on Cas' chest. Puzzled.
"Well." Sam questioned his brother.
"He's still breathing. But, what the hell did Gabriel do?" Looking to Sam. Hopefully he had felt what Gabriel had done.
"I don't know. I don't feel hurt or pain." Sam closed his eyes trying to see if he felt anything else. But all he felt was nothing. His eyes opened looking down at the man's head he held in his lap. "Dean, do you think?"
"Think what?"
"That maybe Gabriel took Cas. What was left of him and took it away. So this?"
"Is Jimmy." Dean finished.
"Not Jimmy." A voice croaked. Everyone moving closer on the laying man. Whose blue eyes looked at them all.
"Hey Cas," Dean moved in. Sam smiled down at the angel. Bobby chuckled at the hens clucking over their chick.
I Want Him to Survive: 7
"So what did Gabriel do?" Sam questioned later while the small group sat around the kitchen table. Castiel had woken for a short while then promptly went back to slumber. Awake now they wanted the answers that had been held off for so long.
The angel did just save Sam's soul. And now the angel Castiel is well again.
"So?"
"He gave me part of his grace. I am now bonded to him as I am to you."
"Yeah about that. How is he alive?
"How am I alive?" Castiel asked as he lifted the bottle that Sam had placed in front of him. Sam sat close to Castiel observing him. He couldn't explain but he needed to stick close. Dean smirked at that. How where any of them alive. All of them dying at least once.
"We'll we're glad you are?" Dean said taking a seat. Bobby adjusted himself in his seat. "And I wanted to say thank you." Castiel nodded.
"It is what you asked."
"Yeah but not that much. Jeeze. So what does that make the two of you?"
"Soul mates." Sam choked. Dean and Bobby laughed. Castiel looked at them.
"He means what will happen if I do die or you die stuff like that." Castiel nodded. Finally understanding.
"We are brothers in spirit. And will be connected."
"Like will I feel your pain or you mine?" Castiel looked down at his bottle unsure of himself.
"I will block it better than I have recently. You will not be able to now that I am at full grace. "
"But will you be able to feel mine." Castiel shrugged. Sam looked over for help in inerterperting Castiel. Dean just shrugged. So he continued. " So you will?"
"Yes, I will."
"And I can sense yours."
"If my defenses are down."
"Put them down."
"What? Why?" Castiel straightened himself. Looking for them then finally looking to the quiet Bobby. The father figures in the room. Bobby shrugged.
"Can it hurt him Wings?"
"I am still recovering. There is some residual."
"Don't block me." Sam spoke, poking him with a spoon, getting Castiel's attention back on him. Castiel sighed. He lowered a few walls. Sam twinge. Castiel now able to observe placed the walls back up. Noticing the feeling of difference. The sensation then the block. "Cas?" Castiel looked down and away. Maybe if he didn't acknowledge the brother. He would not ask him of it again. "Cas, let me in." Castiel sighed. Feeling Sam's plea through that part of him in the young man.
He let the walls down again. Sam cringed bending over at the sensation. The walls began to rise again but Sam moved from his seat quickly wrapping his arms around their angel. "Thank you." The walls came up. Cas looked to Dean. Dean just smiled.
"Welcome back to the family Cas." Dean smiled.
I Want Him to Survive