Never on Time
"Come on Jen, we were supposed to leave over twenty minutes ago!" Dave said from outside of the bathroom door. On the other side, his girlfriend was putting the last minute touches on her outfit for the evening, an outfit she would be wearing to the annual FBI charity drive. As much as the two of them hated that type of function, the higher ups made it clear that anyone who didn't want to become the victim of 'budget cutbacks' needed to be there tonight.
"The limo's been waiting for half an hour Jen, can you please hurry up?" He whined.
"I'll be out in a minute, Dave," she called out and Dave thudded his head against the door.
"Sure, when have I heard that before?" He asked testily. "Maybe it was the Watson's barbeque, where we showed up fifteen minutes late? Or maybe it was my niece's confirmation, when we had to sneak in during the middle of mass. My mother still hasn't forgiven me for that one."
"God Dave, give it a rest, I'll be out in a second!" She yelled.
He continued, as if he hadn't heard her. "Or how about Hotch's surprise party? We sure surprised everyone when we walked in twenty-five minutes late. We're never on time for ANYTHING and it's usually because of your last minute primping!"
His head was still resting against the door and he nearly lost his footing when the love of his life flung it open. "Well that's ironic," she snapped as she stood in the open doorway, "Because I'm pretty sure it's you who's made me late this time!"
"What the hell are you talking about?" He asked. "I've been waiting for you for the last half-hour! I've been ready to go since six o'clock!"
"Not that kind of late, I mean late late!" She was holding up a nearly full box of tampons and her eyes had a bit of a wild look in them, but Rossi still didn't get it.
"Jen, I have no earthly idea what you're talking about; do you need more tampons?" He asked, "Because we can stop at a drugstore on the way home from the shindig."
"Oh, we'll be stopping by a drugstore alright," she muttered under her breath as she wondered how she'd fallen in love with the most clueless man on the planet. "My period is late Dave, by more than three weeks."
"Your period is-" He began to repeat and then snapped his mouth shut as the full implication hit him. He turned an unnatural shade of pale and looked at her with huge eyes.
"Yup, that was pretty much my reaction too, so you'll forgive me if I spent a little bit of time trying to wrap my head around this possible turn of events."
"What do we do?" Dave asked, not very well versed in this type of situation. Sure, put him in a room with a gunman and a hostage and he could work magic, but this? This was an entirely different can of worms and it was MUCH more terrifying than a gunman.
"We go to this freaking dog and pony show tonight and then we leave as soon as possible and hit the closest Walgreen's so I can pick up a pregnancy test."
"No, I mean what do we do if you are pregnant?" He asked in a whisper.
JJ sighed, "Let's not get ahead of ourselves Rossi, let's just get through tonight, okay?"
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The charity fundraiser was a blur to both Dave and JJ. While Dave had bid on a few things in the silent auction, he had no idea what he had actually bid on and he would be surprised when his gift certificate for a weekend at the local clown college arrived in his mailbox in a few weeks. JJ was also in a daze, but she pulled on all of her media training and managed to paste a smile on her face and make small talk throughout the evening.
The team, being in trained human behavioral analysis, knew something was up with the super couple, but no one could figure out exactly what had happened.
"Well, we know they didn't break up, since they're still interacting with each other," Emily said. "Although they haven't been as 'hands on' as they usually are."
"We also know that Dave didn't cheat on JJ, since it looks like his penis is still firmly attached to his body," Garcia said and then realized how that sounded. "Not that I'm checking out Rossi's package," she clarified as she turned bright red.
"Sure you aren't, Babygirl," Derek said teasingly. "Do you think he proposed?"
"It's a possibility," Emily replied, "And maybe JJ told him she needed to think about it."
"I don't care what happened, they'd just better be past it by tomorrow," Hotch said as he joined his teammates. "I just got word that we'll be leaving for a rather grisly case in North Dakota first thing in the morning, so I'll need them on their game." He glanced around the table, "Actually, I'll need all of you on your game, so no more booze." His order was met by groans and protests.
"Come on, man! How are we supposed to get through the rest of this thing without liquor?" Derek asked.
"You don't have to," his boss told him. "Once I heard about this case, I told Strauss and she said since we have to leave fairly early tomorrow we can leave early tonight, so everyone is free to go, just be at the BAU by seven tomorrow." The words were barely out of his mouth before everyone at their small table scurried away before he could change his mind. He bit back a smile and then let JJ and Dave know they had served their time.
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The limo ride to the drugstore was silent as Dave and JJ stewed in their thoughts and worries. Once at the Walgreens, JJ tried to get Dave to stay in the car, but he insisted on coming in to help her. The result of that was a basket full of different brands of pregnancy tests.
"I really don't think I need ten different tests Dave, one will be enough."
"Uh uh," he said, shaking his head as they dumped their basket out at the register. "I want to know for sure, this is news that could affect the rest of our lives and I'm not leaving it up to one flimsy test!" The older woman behind the counter hid a smile; she'd heard this same panicked conversation numerous times but it usually took place between teenage couples and the panic was normally not as evident in their voices.
"Fine!" JJ snipped as she lifted a gallon of Gatorade onto the counter, "But if I'm going to pee that much, I'm going to need some help!"
Dave paid for their purchases and they got back into the limo. Once they were back on the road, it was only a short drive to JJ's apartment. Once inside, JJ headed for the bathroom and Dave came with her.
"Do you really want to be in here while I do this?" She asked him as she opened one of the many boxes in her bag.
"I don't know, I've never done this before," he said. "Do you need help?"
She gave him her first genuine smile of the night, "Unless you want to pee on the sticks for me, there's really nothing you can do," she said as she gently pushed him out of the room. "I'll be out in a couple of minutes.
Dave paced her small living room as he waited for her to take the tests. When she finally stepped out of the bathroom, he pounced on her. "Well, what did they say?"
She shook her head, "It'll take about ten minutes for everything to process." They both flopped down on the couch and just stared into space. After a few minutes, Dave finally broke the oppressive silence.
"God, if you're pregnant, it's going to make me one of the oldest fathers on the planet!"
JJ couldn't help but smile at his dramatics, "No one will think you're too old, Dave."
"The hell they won't! People already wonder if I'm your father when we go out; what will they say if I have a kid with me?"
"They'll say 'Look at that handsome, seasoned man playing with his baby."
Dave snorted, "Sure they will."
"Don't you want kids, Dave?" JJ asked softly.
"I really do and I'll be over the moon if you're pregnant…I'm just freaking out a little," he said and then caught the look of fear on her face. "Do you want this baby, Jen?"
She sighed, "I do, just not right now."
"What do you mean?" He asked with a frown; would she really get rid of their baby if the pregnancy test came back positive?
As if she could read his mind, she sat up a little straighter and faced him. "I would never end a life that's growing inside of me, but the timing is horrible right now."
"Okay," Dave said, exhaling deeply. "What's so bad about it?"
"I just came back to the BAU and I'm trying to find my footing as a profiler, we just got Emily back from the great beyond and…" She trailed off.
"What?"
"I guess I never pictured myself as having a kid out of wedlock. I know it's old fashioned but I kinda like the idea of 'first comes love, then comes marriage and then comes JJ with a baby carriage."
"I can remedy that right now," Dave said as he slid off the couch and got down on one knee. He pulled a small black box out of his jacket pocket and opened it to reveal a dazzling engagement ring. "Jennifer Amelia Jareau, will you marry me?"
JJ could count on one hand the number of times she'd been struck speechless in her life and this was definitely one of those times. She just looked between Dave and the ring without saying anything and Dave, who was normally not well known for his patience, just waited until she regained the power of speech.
"Dave…you don't have to…we don't even know for sure if I'm pregnant."
"So?" He asked, "It doesn't matter if you're pregnant or not, I want to marry you…I want to make you the last Mrs. Rossi."
"But…no…I don't want you to propose just because of a child…"
"JJ look at me, I'm down on one knee holding a diamond ring in front of you, a diamond ring I've been carrying around with me for the last two months as I worked up the courage to propose to you; are those the actions of someone who is proposing due to a feeling of obligation?" He asked. "I love you honey, I love you more than life itself and I want to spend the rest of my life with you and any children we might have."
His words finally filtered through the panicked haze in her brain; he was proposing to her before they knew the outcome of the pregnancy test! He wasn't just marrying her because he had to, he was proposing because he wanted to! She thought about it for another nanosecond before she nodded her head enthusiastically. "Yes, of course I'll marry you, Dave!" Grins broke out across both of their faces as he slid the ring onto her finger.
He got up from the floor, slid back onto the couch and before he could say anything, his mouth was covered by hers. They deepened the kiss and he was just about to suggest they take their celebration into the bedroom when the shrill ringing of the kitchen timer interrupted them.
"Time's up," JJ said, taking a deep breath. They both walked to the bathroom and stepped inside. "You look, I can't," she said to her new fiancé.
Dave picked up a handful of tests and smiled. "What?" JJ asked, "What do they say?"
His smile grew, "I think we need to start picking out nursery colors for one of the bedrooms at the cabin," he told her.
"Oh God, really?" She asked, the panic back in her voice but this time it was also mixed with wonderment and excitement. "I'm really pregnant?"
"So far five of the tests confirm it," he said, happier than he thought he would be. When she first told him she was late, his mind had overloaded with the sheer terror of it all but now that he'd had time to think, and propose, he was excited at the thought of being a father.
"We're really going to do this?" She asked as she swayed a little. He wrapped his arm around her waist to steady her and pulled her close to him.
"We are," he affirmed.
"Okay," she said resolutely. "As long as I have you by my side, I know I can do this." She paused for a second and then looked up at him. "We can do this, right?"
He gently kissed the top of her head, "Jennifer, together we can do this and much, much more."