I have not been happy with the new season of House, but with the ever more stunning Olivia Wilde returning to the show that is starting to change. These annoyances mixed with being so very happy have somehow created the idea for this story. Obviously, I do not own the rights to House, nor do I have any stake in the ownership of 20th Century Fox nor is anyone in general paying me for this.
Simply walking back into Plainsboro Hospital with only a few people having any idea she had even made the request to resume working in the diagnostics department sounded like a good idea until Doctor Hadley actually walked into the hospital. She had returned to the city weeks ago, but with a new apartment, new phone number and working part time in small clinics it was not exactly hard to avoid everyone that she had been avoiding by leaving the state. The sudden feeling that it was all getting too much started sweeping over her and turning around before it was too late was looking like the best choice. She was on a month-to-month lease agreement, the phone company could change her number and who needed a referral when there were always clinics that would hire anyone simply claiming to be a doctor.
Just as she stopped fingers wrapped themselves between those on her right hand and squeeze gently before releasing and inappropriately landing on her backside and given a similar squeeze. Remy shook her head and gave the intrusive person a quick kiss on the lips. It was damn near impossible to stay mad at someone that had already done so much for her. Though the pure hearted intentions of her companion in walking her to the hospital doors did not seem so innocent as she had to remove a wondering hand that was getting a little too playful with edge of her shirt.
"I would rather not get called into Cuddy's office on my first day back over creating an incident in front of the hospital because someone couldn't keep their hands to themselves."
"Think she would mind clearing out after she got done lecturing us or giving an advance on that paid vacation time?"
"I rather doubt she would be okay with us using her desk and our combined time of five minutes of standing in a lobby is not exactly showing dedication to the job."
"You are no fun when you are at work."
"I'll remind you of that the first time I have six hour break in between shifts, can't leave the hospital and have nothing to do."
That got a giddy look out of the formerly glum doctor and finally got her to go clock in before being late on the first day. Watching her girlfriend walk away was always one of those cliché moments to where she was truly both regretful that they had to separate and yet the view was hard to beat. Needing to get to the diagnostics department before her boss, the brunette took one final glance towards the distancing figure before setting off.
The general look shared by the three men seemed to be as if a ghost had just wondered into the department holding a cup of coffee. With glass walls there was not exactly the option of turning around and undoubtedly the conformation on House's desk that was she cleared to treat patients had been opened days which meant hiding within the city would no longer be an option if she did run.
The situation was not how a normal day should start but even if things were a bit odd initially that did not mean it would stay that way. Pushing through the door Remy offered a brief hello before taking a seat next to Taub and grabbing the arts section of the newspaper for anything to look at that was not going to be staring at her. Subtlety had apparently left the department in the time she was gone because both Foreman and Chase made no effort to look like they were not sitting there watching her.
No one moved. No one said anything. Not one even turned the page on their newspaper. Everyone just sat there, each waiting for one of the others to say something useful and constructive about their current situation. Instead, the world's most awkward silence continued to fill the room with four people who suddenly could not talk if they wanted to.
It was hard to imagine that situation actually changing, but then in walked the solution. The taps of a cane against the tile floor announced the hopeful end to the weird silence and a return to a more normal level of strange. Remy was not even sure he was going to say anything as he simply tossed some copies of the file onto the table and went about secretly writing something on the white board.
After a minute of a completely different type of awkward silence, in which the four doctors took turns silently checking that they were on the same page, there was suddenly sound again.
"Patient is a 32 year old male with no history of drug abuse, alcoholism and shows up on tests as perfectly healthy aside from some acid reflex. Unfortunately, Mr. Healthy is always experiencing diarrhea, vomiting, fatigue and his eyes are turning this cool yellow color."
The thud of the file back onto the table echoed throughout the whole room as everyone remained in silence. Leveling the rubber stopper of the bottom of a cane towards the returning doctor House once again broke the silence. "31. I knew you would come back. This is prime hunting ground for you bisexual types now that all those tricky civil unions were overturned and the divorce rate is at all time high. You owe me for nine months of clinic duty. Though if you promise to film your next nine dates and drop the DVDs on my desk with some nice cover art those missing hours might find their way onto Taub's timecard instead."
"Patient is a liar. His records show that his is liver has showed signs of damage according to several of the doctor's that he has bothered recently. The liver partly healed when the patient went on antibiotics, during which he cannot drink excessively, and his health problems only resume after the months in between him seeing new doctors. The only thing that happened here was that he couldn't put the bottle down this time and ended up in the ER because of it. The patient obviously has alcoholic hepatitis and needs a rehab clinic, not a diagnosis."
Technically her ex was on the mark about the liver damage, though she already saw the problem in his theory and was happy that House pointed it out rather making her do it.
"Well that was rude. Do you know Mr. Healthy? Are you his mother? If you answer yes to either of those questions than you should know that makes perfect sense except for the part where his blood work was clean. ER checked his blood and then they checked it again. Tox screen and blood alcohol were clean. Therefore, unless our patient magically removes all liquor from his system right before needing a blood test, including the two other times he suddenly ended up in other ERs, I am fairly certain we can rule out the bottle as a cause. Oh and there was the whole not positive for Hepatitis thing as well."
Foreman didn't say anything, he just sat there with that patented 'I am right and did not hear a word you just said' expression on his face that drove Remy insane when she had to see that look during their relationship. The fact that he was still not getting the message had annoyed her before she left and it was annoying her now.
House seemed to not notice that no one on his team had said anything more as he was busy craning his neck to look out into the hall. "You two go get a family history and you other ones go check the patient's home for any environmental toxins, like being inside a liquor store."
Seeing as there was no indication as to who was to do what Remy quickly decided to go with the option that meant leaving the hospital. However, as soon as she was on her feet, so were Foreman and Chase, which lead to an interesting look being exchanged between the two men before Taub finally stood up and headed for the door. The brunette followed close behind and did not care to see how the remaining two members would sort out their issues with each other.
"Felon and Death Row Felon, where do you think you two are going? Family history all comes from right here." That was when the cane hit the rather heavy looking folder on the table.
"I hope one of you speaks Yiddish as Grandma isn't up on all the cool new languages."
Reminding herself to do House's clinic hours for a couple weeks Remy quickly left the department. Whether he did it on purpose or not she really did not care, it was simply nice to know that she would not have to worry about one of those two harassing her with questions.
Several hours later neither pair had found anything out that would explain the man's symptoms. Hepatitis seemed to fit as the man got better with fluids and nausea medications, but he had been reporting symptoms for months, yet they came and went rather than getting progressively worse. There were also no signs in his home that he was abusing alcohol, illegal drugs, or even over the counter painkillers and his family history revealed that none of them suffered from anything that would affect the liver enough to leave scarring.
After hours of guessing games, further hours spent monitoring the patient for any signs of change and House leaving the team them tend to the patient, which for Taub meant following House's example a few minutes later they still didn't have anything. A couple hours after finding no change in the patient and no cause for the illness Remy had definitely had enough of her first day back, but by then it was too late to drive home.
"I am going to the on call room. Page me if something comes up." As she made the announcement, the two men in the room looked rather hopeful at the announcement before they turned their attention towards each other. Taking the opportunity to get out of the office without needing to explain she would be going to the on call room alone, Remy stood up and left the two long time coworkers to deal with their own delusions.
"I should have promised to let House take a picture for letting me go home early."
A quick check of her cell phone showed a couple text messages from her girlfriend. The first had been from about 8:30 letting Remy know things were winding down and she was heading home and another at about 10 promising to keep the bed warm. It was too late now to send a reply, but they knew that there would be times like this and the woman just promised to sleep lightly so that she would wake up when Remy did get home. Getting someone else involved her life had been the exact opposite of her intention after leaving. Yet it was hard to disagree with the results over the recent months.
Living together so soon had not been her intent either. Though when someone tells you she will help you face nightmare waiting in the wings and follow you wherever you wanted to go, it seemed rude to tell her to find a separate place to live. She was sure the woman would have understood her reasons why but realistically they had spent so much time practically living out of the same apartment before the move that it was not that big of a change. Besides, it was a rather comforting thought to know she had someone waiting at home for her, even if the astronomical odds of actually leaving the hospital did put a bit of a damper on the situation.
Turning up the volume on her cell phone, just in case the revelation for the whole case showed up after she had been asleep for a while, Remy shut the door to the on call room and tried to get some rest.
After about four hours of sleep her cell phone went off as Foreman called saying she had to take the next shift as he needed a break and Chase had disappeared a couple hours ago. By the she had coffee in hand and made to the patient's room Foreman was gone and a nurse was checking on the patient instead. This was not anywhere near the weirdest case they had taken on, nor was the man truly in immediate danger, but a complete lack of reasons for his illness in the first place was enough to get House interested. It really didn't make any sense as how someone without cancer, infection, disease, parasite, environmental and anything else they could think to test for was suffering from liver damage.
Having read the entire modern art's section of yesterday's paper and reread the patient's medical history by the time the team was fully assembled Remy had new ideas that would fit as a possible cause. Not that House was particularly interested in hearing them.
"The patient is still alive? Impressive. I figured with all the unwanted sexual tension in the room since 31 showed back up you guys would have killed him after killing each other or ended up in an orgy with some of the nurses on the graveyard shift."
"The patient has chronic Hepatitis C, the blood tests are just wrong. We should load him up on interferon, give him some medication for the nausea and when he gets better we can send him home." This time the righteous one was Chase, who looked like whatever he had done in the last six hours had nothing to do with sleep.
"Honestly I am appalled that you lot would think so little of me to assume I would take on a simple case of Hepatitis." The smug bastard had the answer and he hadn't been back in the hospital for five minutes.
"Then it is something that looks and acts exactly like Hepatitis but isn't Hepatitis?" Taub, as usual, was trying to get enough of the answer to solve the mystery without looking like he was as lost as the others were.
"Well that would just be weird." With that understatement of the century, the diagnostician limped his way out of the office and towards the patient's room. Throwing the door open in his usual dramatic fashion House marched into the room with his team following behind still trying to figure out what was going on.
"Your ex-wife cheated on you."
"My wife and I are not divorced yet and she never cheated on me."
"You think he has an STD?" Remy had run the tests for STDs herself, the work up came back clean, and there were no physical signs that the man had anything that the blood tests would have missed.
"Nope. I think the wife that is about to leave him, which is why she hasn't visited, has an STD. This idiot has been simply wishing he would catch it from his wife this whole time."
"House, you cannot assume his wife has Hepatitis just because our patient shows signs."
"No but I can assume his wife has Hepatitis A because last year she tested positive for it. She is apparently very kinky in the bedroom, just not with her husband. I got her number if you want it Thirteen."
"How is it that his wife having Hepatitis is making him sick without giving him Hepatitis?" Remy did her best to ignore the highly inappropriate comment about the man's wife and House's offer as the poor man was laying in a hospital bed and really didn't need that on his mind.
"Our patient is the caring type apparently, so much so that he convinced himself he was sick from the same thing as his wife. Unfortunately, his wife got over her strain of fun without more than a few days off work. Care bear's body on the other hand has been attempting to destroy anything in his system that it could possibly register as Hepatitis. Every time he gets indigestion, which he what he was suffering regular bouts of until a couple days ago, his body thinks it Hepatitis and goes to town on his liver. The longer the symptom remains the longer attacks carry on. We give him a vaccination, his body will actually process the infection, and he can resume begging his wife not to leave him. Since only two of you are familiar with the idea of your wife leaving you the other two can go home."
"My wife and I are still trying to work things out House." Taub offered the defense in his usual manner where you could not quite tell if he was annoyed, or just incredibly bored.
"Sure and Pluto isn't a planet. Do what you are told before I tell Cuddy about the replica blow up doll that you borrowed last week and haven't returned." As House limped off following his final humiliating comment of the case Remy took the opportunity to leave as well. Finding the walk back to the office surprisingly peaceful, and alone, Remy went about the task of collecting her stuff.
Finding the locker room equally peaceful bolstered a newfound belief that maybe the two men had figured things out during her absence and they could all avoid any awkward conversations about her intentions now that they were working together again. Grabbing her purse and tossing on a light jacket Remy retrieved her phone and sent off a message letting only the ER attendant know she was almost out of the hospital.
Unfortunately, the exit was not as clear as the rest of the pathway had been. Standing about ten foot from the door she intended to use was both Foreman and Chase, keeping a certain distance between each other. They were both smiling at idiots when they caught her looking at them, obviously misreading the glances as something other than shock that the two were actually putting themselves up to this willingly.
Pushing forward, trying to keep as even of a distance in between the two men as possible, Remy paid them no further attention as her goal became closer. Each step towards the door, towards the two idiots, was one-step closer to her exit. Behind their backs was a clear way out of this whole mess and Remy welcomed the sight.
Closing the distance before anyone could do anything to object Remy knew she caught at least three people by complete surprise. Chase, Foreman and Cameron. The last of whom she was rather eagerly kissing in the entranceway just inside the hospital, not terribly far from where Remy had first realized an attraction to the blonde doctor. After the initial seconds Allison did kiss her back, though broke it off before they really caused a scene.
Not turning around to see whoever was watching them, Remy waited for her breathing to return to normal before giving her girlfriend one last chaste kiss on the lips and adjusting her clothes slightly. "Free for lunch?"
"Sure, but why do Foreman and Chase look like they just watched you kiss a ghost?"
"Apparently House forgot to mention I wasn't the only one returning."
Sharing an amused smile Remy walked past Allison, enjoying that not only did Allison find their moments of departure between them a mixing between a blessing and a curse but that no doubt House was off securing footage of the whole event.
"I think that makes us even."
- So there it is - my first attempt at an intended one shot and something on a more fluffy side of Camteen. I have been working on some other one shots, as well a new multi-chapter story and updates for the other two stories. And yes I do have major problems focusing on any one thing at a time when left to my own regard, which is why my boss makes sure I am not left unsupervised for very long and I try to form study groups for all my classes. Reviews might help with my focus though... -