AUTHOR'S NOTE: I also posted this on my personal website. Keep in mind, this NOT a scene-for-scene reproduction of LXG with the Avengers.
I made my own Avengers lineup for this.
SCENE 1: A bar in Washington, D.C.
[CGI: Caption saying "Washington D.C. - 1899"]
(Woo enters bar. People lounge about, drinking merrily. Woo walks up to a waiter and taps him on the back.)
James Woo: Excuse me, where can I find a Captain Steve Rogers?
Waiter: He, sir, would be in the back, by the bartender.
Woo: Many thanks.
(Walks over to Rogers, but is blocked by a muscular man.)
Bodyguard: I'm sorry, but Mr. Rogers is a little busy at the moment.
Woo: But it's very urgent, Mr...
Bodyguard: Cage. Now go, or...
Capt. Steve Rogers: It's okay, Luke. He's clean. (Woo approaches Rogers.) To what do I owe this pleasure?
Woo: Sir, my name is James Woo. I represent the Supreme Headquarters International Espionage Law-enforcement Division of the U.S. Government. We'd like to recruit you for a black ops team that does homeland security against a threat. You've been chosen for your veteran experience in America's civil war between the Union and the Confederacy.
Rogers: That was over 30 years ago. I'm not as young and spry as I used to be. I can still lead, but fighting could be an issue for me. And I'm not as in sync with the government as I was during the war.
Woo: Oh?
Rogers: I had a partner during the war: Bucky Barnes. For our final mission, one no kid could survive, I was told to take Bucky by my superiors. It was successful... but at a price.
(Armored assailants break down the door and rapidly fire toward Rogers. The bodyguard runs up to take them out. He brings one down with his bare fist.)
[SFX: BUDDABUDDABUDDABUDDA!] {Continues throughout scene until next SFX
Woo: They're bulletproof!
Rogers: No, just armor-plated. Danny, shield!
(Bartender throws shield to Rogers. It has a blue star with red and white stripes and is circular.)
Assailant: Sorry, Captain. I think you got lead in your head! (Fires.) Oh yeah...
Rogers: Shut it!
(Throws shield at assailants. Shield goes around bar, hitting all assailants but one, who presses button on wrist and self-destructs.)
[SFX: BOOMPH!]
Woo: Well, I guess...
Rogers: Fine. I'll join the Strategic Home...
Woo: Just call us S.H.I.E.L.D.
[OPENING CREDITS]
SCENE 2: A meeting room
(Rogers enters as Captain America, in costume.)
Capt. America: Hello, anyone...? (Spider-Man comes down from ceiling via wall-crawling onto the wall. Capt. America notices and whirls around.) What the... who are you?
(Nick Fury enters.)
Nick Fury: Hello, Captain. Excellent time getting here.
Capt. America: Not as good as Reed Richards. Broke the stratosphere in 90 minutes in a hot air balloon. (Notices newspaper in Fury's hand. Headline says: "WHAT ARE THE FOUR?") What's that?
Fury: Tabloid. (Throws it aside.) I see you've met Peter Parker, alias Codename: Spider-Man, your teammate and S.H.I.E.L.D.'s recon agent. He'll be working under your command. This is your Intel guy, Tony Stark, alias Codename: Iron Man. (Iron Man enters, helmet off.) Do you know each other?
Iron Man: By reputation only. I am honored. (Capt. America and Iron Man shake hands.)
Spider-Man: Swell. You get a handshake, and I get the proverbial middle finger.
(Rolls eyes under mask.)
Fury: Our next member is a respected scientist and studies insects. (Puts picture on table of a man with blond hair and a woman with dark brown hair.)
Iron Man: Hank Pym. I know him.
(Wasp enters, lab coat over uniform.)
Capt. America: I thought you said Hank Pym was joining us today.
Nick Fury: I wasn't specific as to which Pym, was I? Gentlemen, Janet Pym. The four of you are going to Moscow, Russia to recruit Natalia Romanov, nicknamed the "Black Widow." Go!
SCENE 3: A mansion in Moscow, Russia
[CGI: Caption saying "Moscow, Russia"]
Black Widow: And what exactly makes you think I'll join this time around? Fury couldn't persuade me. Frankly, neither can you.
Wasp: God, you're stubborn. There could be a world-threatening danger arising and...
(Dr. Doom enters with 10 assailants, Crimson Dynamo, Kraven the Hunter, and the Absorbing Man.)
Dr. Doom: There is, in fact.
Capt. America: First meetings usually start off with introductions.
Dr. Doom: You may call me Dr. Doom, or Master, as soon shall the rest of the world. Lay down your arms and surrender to me.
(One assailant, who is really a spy, raises his bow and arrow toward Absorbing Man and fires.)
[SFX: Fffffwwwwinnng!]
(Arrow impacts and Absorbing Man turns to metal.)
Absorbing Man: What the...?
Iron Man: That's our distraction! Move it!
(Spider-Man runs over to Kraven.)
Kraven: I have plans for conquest, bug. None of which concern you.
Spider-Man: I'm not concerned. I just do this for fun. My mom said it was this or a photography career, so...(Webs Kraven and pulls him toward wall, where the two collide. Kraven is knocked out.) Well, I wanted to make an impression, yes, but still. Ow.
[CAM: Pan over to Iron Man.]
Iron Man: Your armor is a lot larger than mine. And a lot stronger, too, probably.
Crimson Dynamo: Of course it is, tin can. It is made from the strongest steel. Allow me to demonstrate!
[SFX: Fffwwwwooosshhh!]
(Fires flamethrower at Iron Man.)
Iron Man: Now that's just rude.
(Punches Dynamo across room and K.O.'s him.)
[CAM: Pan over to Black Widow and Absorbing Man.]
[SFX: BUDDABUDDABUDDABUDDA!]{Continues until Absorbing Man's next line
(Black Widow fires at Absorbing Man.)
Black Widow: What are you?
Absorbing Man: Out of your league.
(Both grin.)
Black Widow: Funny. Same for you. (Grabs bottle of vodka.) Absorb this!
(Open vodka bottle splashes all over Absorbing Man, turning him into a liquid. He turns into a puddle. Black Widow grins.)
Capt. America: He's getting away!
(Dr. Doom escapes.)
Spider-Man: That felt good.
Iron Man: Where's Janet?
Capt. America: Probably hip-deep in trouble, no doubt.
(Wasp enters.)
Wasp: Relax. I'm fine. And by the way, my hips are none of your business.
(An assailant grabs Wasp from behind while the spy, who happens to be the archer Hawkeye, takes off his disguise and draws his bow and arrow.)
Assailant: Don't move! (The heroes go still.) Honestly, I'm saddened that you'll fight off Dr. Doom and his men without thinking, but you hesitate to give a teammate assistance.
Wasp: I'm ashamed you think I'm the type who needs it.
(Wasp shrinks down so her wings are showing. She flies up to the assailant and stings him with her bio-stingers. He falls.)
[CGI: Wasp should be shrinking in slow-mo.]
[SFX: Pewpewpew!]
Hawkeye: Well. I've heard women have funny ways, but this is ridiculous.
Wasp: Who are you?
Hawkeye: S.H.I.E.L.D. agent Barton. Call me Hawkeye. Mind if I join?
Black Widow: Sorry, but this is a private party and you're not invited.
Spider-Man: Ah, let him in. The more, the merrier, right?
Capt. America: Spider-Man has a point. More raw power to the group will help.
Iron Man: Next stop- Arizona!
Hawkeye: How are we getting to Arizona, exactly?
SCENE 4: Stark Industries' Russian location
Iron Man: This is it, people. Feast your eyes on this.
Wasp: Tony, you said this vehicle flies?
Iron Man: It travels by air, if that's what you mean. (Takes cover sheet of mystery object, which is a giant helicarrier.) Behold- Quinjet, the scourge of the skies!
SCENE 5: The Grand Canyon
Hawkeye: Remind me why we need his guy again.
Capt. America: He's feared across the country by nearly everyone. Imagine the shock he'll give the enemy!
(Boulder falls and nearly crushes Hawkeye and Capt. America.)
Hawkeye: Up there! I see him!
[SFX: Bam! Bam! Bam!]
(Hawkeye fires a pistol thrice at the vague human silhouette above them. It is muscular and bulky.)
Capt. America: You're wasting ammo! Do it with one bullet or none at all!
Hawkeye: Don't worry. I got it.
(Hawkeye takes a grenade, attaches it to an arrow, and fires.)
[SFX: Fwing!]
(Arrow impacts silhouette, which falls unconscious.)
Capt. America: Welcome aboard, "Hulk."
SCENE 6: Aboard the Quinjet
(Roars are heard aboard the Quinjet. Spider-Man, Black Widow, and Wasp make their way toward the Hulk's cell.)
Spider-Man: It would appear the hunter's bagged his prize.
(Iron Man is thrown out into hallway, nearly hitting Wasp.)
Black Widow: Or the prize bagged him.
(Black Widow, Spider-Man, and Wasp enter the room. The Hulk is chained up, but nearly breaking free.)
Capt. America: Be careful, he's mad. Hulk! You've terrorized the entire American east coast. You've been so terrible, you've fled to the other side of the country. However, you are to be offered amnesty for your services. (Hulk pauses.) We want you in the Avengers. If you join, you can go home. To New York.
Hulk: Home. Hulk... miss home. I'm yours.
Capt. America: Good.
Hulk: Now let me free!
(Hulk rips chains in half, now free.)
Wasp: He just broke titanium chains in half.
Black Widow: Quite the parlor trick.
Hulk: Wait till you see this one.
(Hulk twists his head downward, then screams in pain as he undergoes a metamorphoses where he changes into a regular scrawny human being.)
Bruce Banner: Dr. Banner. At your service.
(Capt. America nods.)
Capt. America: All right. We've got a full deck. Time to discuss our mission.
SCENE 7: Doomstadt
[CGI: Caption saying "Doomstadt, Latveria- Three Days Later"]
Dr. Doom: Boris, what news of the Avengers?
Boris: They are headed toward the White House in Washington, D.C. They believe you are going to target it and assassinate the President.
Dr. Doom: And they will reach America when?
Boris: Tomorrow at noon.
Dr. Doom: I have no plans to do so, but if the heroes have ideas to the contrary, we could release the Second Wave.
Boris: The Second Wave? Sir, you mean the Titanium Man, the Green Goblin, and the Juggernaut?
Dr. Doom: Yes.
(Grins under mask.)
SCENE 8: The White House
(The Quinjet lands in front of the White House. The Avengers exit the ship.)
Iron Man: We need to secure the building. Set a perimeter around each wing. No one gets in or out.
(Green Goblin flies in on his glider, with Titanium Man and Juggernaut following.)
Green Goblin: Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Spider-Man: What the hey? (Goblin throws Molotov cocktail at Spider-Man.) Oh, that can't be good.
(Cocktail explodes.)
[SFX: Boom!]
Green Goblin: Time to meet your maker, boy!
(Goblin flies toward Spider-Man, who leaps onto the glider. They fly off scene.)
Titanium Man: I will crush you like a tin can, Stark! My armor is more lightweight, and it carries ballistic weaponry that can pierce any metallic alloy.
Iron Man: Yes, but can it do this? (Iron Man's boots fire flames at the ground, making him hover. He goes up to an altitude of 12 ft., then drops down onto Titanium Man. Titanium Man's armor is fragmented.) Might want to check that out.
(Juggernaut runs past, toward the Hulk, who is armed with a tree.)
Juggernaut: Nothing can stop the Juggernaut!
Hulk: Nothing but Hulk! (Hulk and Juggernaut collide and are knocked back. Juggernaut is nearly unconscious.) Now stay down, or Hulk smash.
Capt. America: Hold on, Spider-Man's gone.
Wasp: He's with the Goblin. They're fighting.
(Spider-Man returns, bloody and bruised.)
Spider-Man: He's done.
Hawkeye: What happened?
[CGI: Flashback shot of Green Goblin being impaled on the tip of his glider.]
Spider-Man: Don't ask.
(Black Widow enters with a disc and phonograph.)
Black Widow: I found this recording disc aboard the ship. Let's hear what it says.
(Disc is placed on phonograph and plays.)
[SFX: The phonograph plays Dr. Doom's voice: "Good evening , Captain America. I wish to inform you of the fact that you have lost this battle. While you fought the Second Wave, your wolf in the fold snuck upon the ship and took some vital elements to our victory- Banner's radioactive meteorite sample that turned him into the Hulk and a blueprint of Stark's armor. She also recovered some of Spider-Man's blood left on Green Goblin's glider, which is irradiated and useful in my endeavor. To end on a low note, the spy also planted a bomb on your vessel that contains a symbiote that will consume..." ]
(Iron Man blasts the phonograph as a black, gooey mass exits the Quinjet and forms around Spider-Man. It forms a new black costume instead of killing him.)
Spider-Man: Whoa.
Hawkeye: Oh my God! I'm getting that thing off you right now!
Spider-Man: No, it's okay. I feel... stronger. But I feel like something dark has come out inside me. I'll leave it for now.
(By this time, the Hulk is Banner again.)
Banner: Doom said the spy was a she. I think it's Widow.
Iron Man: Are you sure?
Banner: Who else? You saw the sneakiness and evil inside her when she took care of Absorbing Man.
Wasp: Well, she's not in sight anywhere. She probably took off when she learned we were onto her.
Capt. America: I'm sick of this. I'm sick of battle. I'm sick of treason. We're going to Latveria to end this!
SCENE 9: Doomstadt
(A guard stands at the entry to Doomstadt. Wasp flies in and stings him unconscious.)
[CAM: Switch to Spider-Man in the bell tower.]
Spider-Man: I am getting rid of this suit! It's turning me into something I don't want to be!
(Spider-Man rings the giant bell. The noise forces the symbiote of him.)
Symbiote: Hrrrrraaaaaahhh!
[SFX: DONG! DONG! DONG! DONG! DONG! DONG!]
Spider-Man: God, yes! I'm free of the darkness that nearly consumed me! I'm rid of it!
[CAM: Go down to below, where the symbiote bonds with a pedestrian. Afterwards, go back up to Spider-Man.]
(Spider-Man senses the symbiote near and alive. He turns around.)
Spider-Man: Come out, whoever you are. I'm not afraid.
(Venom leaps out of the shadows and brings Spider-Man down to the ground.)
Venom: You stink of fear! We shall shatter your bones and feast on your flesh!
Spider-Man: Not if I say differently.
(Spider-Man fires web-bullets at Venom. Venom stumbles and hits the bell. The ringing disorients Venom and he falls out of the bell tower.)
[CAM: Switch to Iron Man in the armory.]
(Iron Man is thrown into rack of swords. He stands up.)
Iron Monger: You are truly a fool to oppose me, Tony Stark! I'm carrying 20 tons of ballistics and 2 tons of rockets in my suit, which also is 8.7932324354364 times stronger than your sorry tin can.
Iron Man: What is everyone's deal with calling me "tin can?" Unibeam- charge up... (Iron Man's chest's ARC reactor lights up.) Fire!
(A huge pulse beam fires and Iron Monger's armor implodes.)
[SFX: VMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!]
[CAM: Switch to Hulk in the experimental chamber.]
Hulk: Come out, little man. Hulk knows you're there... (Hulk turns and sees a man take Banner's meteorite and rub it all over his body.) No...Not that much exposure... Oh, no.
[CAM: Switch to Black Widow's bedroom.]
(Black Widow is applying lipstick. Hawkeye is behind her. She notices.)
Black Widow: Hello, Clint.
Hawkeye: Why, Natalia? Why work for Doom, of all people?
Black Widow: Do you even know why the Avengers were formed, Clint? It's not real. It was never real. A corrupt senator ordered Fury to bring you all together. That very senator was working for Doom. Doom wanted you heroes out of the picture so he could take over. As we speak, our German contacts, Johann Schmidt and Helmut Zemo, are preparing a weapon that will be useful in our quest for power. No one will stop us once the Avengers are dead. All that will be left with powers are those students from Xavier's University for Extraordinary Gentlemen, and no one will trust a mutant. (Smirks.) It's game over.
Hawkeye: We'll see!
(Black Widow lunges at Hawkeye, who promptly counters with a shot in the leg.)
[SFX: Bam!]
(Black Widow falls and stumbles to the window.)
Black Widow: You can't stop us, Hawkeye! There will be others to take our place!
Hawkeye: I beg to differ. (Hawkeye fires an arrow. It hits Black Widow in the chest, and she slips, thus falling out the window to her doom.) Good riddance.
[CAM: Switch to Capt. America and Wasp in the courtyard.]
Dr. Doom: You're finished! You cannot win this battle!
(Fires a laser from his wrist at Capt. America, who blocks it with his shield. The shield shatters.)
[CGI: The shield should shatter in slow-mo.]
Capt. America: You... you... monster! (Capt. America punches Doom repeatedly as he speaks.) A force of evil never wins. It never matters who they are, what they have at their disposal, or their motives. Those who say evil always wins are the embodiment of fallacy. You will never succeed, Doom! I'll see to it personally!
(Doom fires another blast, this time toward Wasp. She swerves out of the way and flies straight toward him. She flies into his mask and hits his eyeball. Doom yells in agony up until Capt. America runs up and knocks him into the courtyard's fountain. Doom's armor short-circuits and he receives too big a shock.)
Wasp: It's over.
Capt. America: Not yet.
[CAM: Switch to Iron Man, Spider-Man, and Hawkeye entering the experimental chamber.]
(Hulk enters, fear in his eyes.)
Hulk: Run! Go!
(Abomination runs toward the heroes, who all fire their ranged weapons at him. They have no effect. Hulk picks up a gas tank and hurls it.)
Iron Man: I got your back.
(He charges his repulsors.)
[CAM: Switch to the previous setting.]
[SFX: FFFFFFAAAAABBBOOOOOOMM!]
(Doomstadt implodes.)
Wasp: Oh, my God!
Capt. America: The Avengers...
(The remaining Avengers enter from the smoke.)
Hawkeye: We'll live to fight another day.
(The Avengers smile and cheer. They have won.)
[END CREDITS]
SCENE 10: An underground lab in Latveria
(A young man, who is Kristoff Vernard, ward of Doom, operates with a console.)
Kristoff Vernard: I know what S.H.I.E.L.D. is thinking. They know we used the blueprints for Iron Monger. They know we used the meteorite for Blonski. But they don't know what we did with Parker's blood. Well, Fury... (He glances over at a stasis tube with a man inside. It is a genetic duplicate of Spider-Man.) You'll know very soon.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Despite the fact that pretty much everyone hated the original Clone Saga, I couldn't resist making a clone reference.
I'm not sure if I should do a sequel or not... review anyway.