Hi everybody! It's Tingling Fox, here with a great, great, great story for Super Smash Brotherz! It's about the two best characters in the world: Tingle and Fox! So come on down and read it up.

I definitely own everything here. April Fools, fools!

It was the battle of the century! A two-stock match between the two most bitter rivals in the history of history. Fox McCloud, leader of the Star Fox team, was facing his antihero, Wolf O'Donnell, head of the Star Wolf squad and organizer of the Sargasso "Trading Company". The stage was set for the most epic fight ever—specifically, Pirate Ship. Items were on low (because real men use items, but don't rely on them) and Smash Balls were removed (because the tanks are cheaper than a free noogie).

The announcer began the fight. "GO!"

Immediately, the two pilots rushed forward, storming each other with various kicks, punches and, in Wolf's case, slashes. The battle raged across the ship before Fox was flung out to sea by the conveniently-placed catapult. While he didn't hit the blast line, the vulpine came close. As McCloud leapt back onto the mighty sailing ship, he was surprised by a fully-engaged swipe from Wolf's claws. He only had time to mutter one thing before he was launched for a loop.

"Crud!"

BOOM! Fox hit the upper-left border, narrowly missing turning into a star (Curses, just off, thought the malevolent lupine). When Fox returned from the Platform of Life, he used the complementary invincibility to rush up to Wolf, grab him, and toss him into the water. In a repeat performance of what had just happened, O'Donnell was surprised by an attack from Fox—a bicycle kick in this case—as he leapt back aboard. As he soared for the upper blast border, the Wolfster let out an awful yell. "FUUUUUUUUUuuuuuuuuuu—"

The beautiful audible twinkle of the Star KO drowned out the rest.

As soon as Wolf respawned, he growled out a very threatening "It's on now!" Fox, knowing his rival could deal more damage in a few seconds than he could, employed his superior agility to avoid O'Donnell until the spawning shield wore off. Jumping, air-dodging, and rolling, McCloud whiled away the seconds until Wolf became vulnerable.

But Wolf was a crafty fellow. He caught Fox at the stern of the ship, stunning him with a Blaster shot before charging in with a claw swipe. Damaged but undaunted, Fox retaliated with a Fox Illusion and a couple of Blaster shots of his own the moment Wolf returned to normal. Wolf fell into the wake of the ship, but Fox wouldn't be able to repeat his move from earlier.

Looking around, the vulpine caught a glance of something aqua-colored and dome-ish. An Assist Trophy! Making a dash for the valuable item, McCloud swiped the capsule and jumped out of the way of O'Donnell's approaching claws. Landing on the top of the mast, Fox summoned forth the assistant, praying to the deities he held dear for a friend.

He was not disappointed. Out came his best friend ever: Tingle the mapmaking genius! "Tingle! Tingle! Kooloo-limpah! How may I help, Fox?"

"Tingle, the best man ever! Call up a few hammers, would ya?"

"Okay! Tingle! Tingle! Kooloo-limpah!" And a dozen hammers, summoned by the most magical person in Hyrule, began to clutter the stage.

Wolf smirked as he grabbed one of the precious items. As he began the Dance of Hammers, he began to taunt his rival—only to note that Fox had grabbed an even more-desirable item: the Golden Hammer. Fox's Golden Dance pierced Wolf's defenses, sending the lupine off the staging area. This wouldn't have been a problem, as the water was there to catch him, if it weren't for the side effect of the Dance of Hammers: loss of jumping control. The hapless victim of violence sank below the waves, crossing the lower blast barrier and thereby forfeiting the match.

"GAME!"

Shortly thereafter, Fox and Tingle were in Master Hand's office. The Hand-lord, though, was adamant in his argument. "For the last time, no! I will not put Tingle on the roster. Americans hate him."

The fairy seeker leapt up and threw confetti. "But the Japanese love Tingle!" The vulpine and appendage held an awkward silence at this. Everyone knew that American words meant more than Japanese words. That's why America was the last superpower in the world of Humans. (A/N: no offense to any Japanese people out there. You guys are awesome! I'm very sorry to hear about your tragedies.)

Slowly, even the mighty and jubilant Tingle understood the uselessness of what he had just said. Embarrassed, he sat down and turned his magic pockets right side out. Note to self, get more confetti later.

The Hand pointed. "Now get out. I have some very important stuff to do that does not involve poking jello and watching it wiggle." Dejected, the pilot and the artist trudged out of the office.

As they passed a dark corridor, they heard a whisper. Except it wasn't a whisper. "HEY! YOU TWO! GET OVER HERE!" Knowing never to ignore a voice that came from a dark, spooky corridor, the two strolled into the darkness.

Fox spoke first. "What is it, Crazy?"

"…How's it they always know it's me? Anyway, I can help with your problem."

"Tingle does not see how."

"Just trust me, little friend of fairies, just trust me."

"So Tingle just puts his thumb on here and he can be a Smasher? Kooloo-limpah! That's amazing!" Tingle put his magical thumb onto the machine's pad-thing. The process lit the whole machine up as it scanned Tingle's thumbprint. Soon it made an announcement.

"Assist Trophy Tingle now registered as Smasher Tingle. Have a nice day."

Fox McCloud turned to the left Hand. "Why are you helping us?"

" 'Cuz my brother's a meanie." Like that answered anything, really. But Fox accepted it—largely because he was being crushed in a Tingle Hug.

"Tingle is now a Smasher! The next step is to be a fairy, right?"

Fox returned the platonic, friendly man-hug. "If that's what you want, then that's what you'll get."

That went well I think. This could be the best fanfiction ever!

Oh, but I have a confession to make. I don't like Tingle. In fact, I'm not Tingling Fox!

Look tomorrow, ladies and gentlemen, for something important will change.

In fact, the person you see in me doesn't exist! I'm someone many of you already know.

Please stay tuned, for that change will be important to note

Xenophile, Fox is not, after all. Unless you count that girlfriend-like Krystal.

Or, you could look for clues as to who I really am. There's several.

Fun times, right? Happy April Fools' Day, everyone!

AFD 2011