Disclaimer: I do not own Katekyo Hitman REBORN! Or the characters.

*If the other characters seem OOC than I'm truly sorry.*

SI!Tsuna || Crack Fic

Mia not giving a single fuck or too many

**(Speaking) = Hyper Intuition

Excuse me, McBitch

Waking up after getting rammed over by a very fast truck wasn't normal. Waking up to realize that you were no longer yourself -if those memories were any indication- was also not considered normal. Shouldn't they be screaming at the top of their lungs? Maybe. Were they going to? Probably not. Giving a huff, they sat up, wincing at the pins and needle sensation throughout their body.

Toes wiggling under the blanket, they stared for a moment before a familiar feeling came over. The brunette squinted at nothing, looking far too serious for what Mia hissed out. "I gotta piss." Giving her toes one more wiggle, the woman threw the blankets off them and tossed themselves off the bed.

When needing to take a massive piss, logic and common sense are thrown out the window. So, with a strangled yelp, she hit the floor wonderfully. There was a low grumble and even more that followed as she dragged herself to the bathroom.

Fighting against the urge to just pee there and feel relieved, the woman pulled herself off the floor and threw the door open, gasping from the lack of strength. Seeing the toilet in reach, she dragged herself like a man on a mission. Sluggishly making it onto the seat, the woman pulled the hospital gown away from the seat, in order for it to not go in.

There was sweet relief in a matter seconds. A satisfied sigh escaped her as she continued to do her business, the slightly satisfied smile slowly turned into a frown. Eyes slowly going down to her lap, the woman lifted up her gown and looked down at the thing in between her legs. Mia stayed quiet for a moment, squinted her eyes at it and even tilted her head.

Now, don't get her wrong, Mia has seen dicks here and there. The first two from her relationships and the last twenty from unwanted dick pics -either way, she's seen them and knew how they look and what their common size were. So excuse her for being slightly put off -not from disappoint- with what she's looking at. "Big things do come in small packages, I guess." Mia murmured, voice coming out in rasps that made her nose scrunched up.

God she needed a cup of water.

Making sure the toilet was flushed before getting up -and standing on jelly like legs- she spared another look down at her covered legs -and now his new equipment. "I'm gonna call you McFrick Jr." With that said, the woman went towards the sink to rinse her hands. Once that little task was done, Mia looked at her reflection. Turning her head this way and that, the woman turned boy did the finger guns to the mirror. "Nice."

Giving her -his- reflection a wink, Mia went back to looking at it. Untamable hair that defies gravity? Check. A feminine looking face? Check. Skin that looks like porcelain -although it was probably from being in the hospital for so long- and was soft to the touch? Check.

The newly made boy gave a gasp, a hand on their chest as they looked into the mirror and whispered aloud. "I'm a main character for a shounen ai story." Not that there wasn't anything wrong with that. But he would love to get used to his new body and male pronouns before even thinking about dating anyone.

Mia blinked as the idea settled in before giving her-his reflection the stink eye. "Wait a minute, I know this face. Shounen ai material or not, that doesn't seem right." Humming and rubbing the bottom of his chin, thinking it once more. There were a lot of anime and cartoon characters she knew that fit into the appearance. But even then, there was some difference between all of them.

Story plot and character growth were normally what stuck out, not their appearance. Okay that was a lie, character's appearance did stick out most of the time but that didn't matter right now. Mia knew this damn face, there was no way they could forget it, not reading it in years or so be damned.

It took her a while before her mind clicked in place, face twisting to make the strangest face that only one character to pull solidified he-his thoughts. "I'm fucking Tsuna."

With the realization now unavoidable, Mia -or would he now have to call himself Tsuna?- weighed the pros and cons. Pros; become a badass boss, have very handsome men -well, boys but they'll grow up- surrounding him, and just being a badass in general. Cons; having to fight every time, dealing with unbelievable arguments, having people wanting to kill him, and probably last but not least, Reborn.

While Reborn beats the shit out of Tsuna in the original manga -for 'tutoring' purpose- Mia wasn't one to just sit and take a bitch slap before giving one in return. Either way, that was a can of worms she -'for fuck sake, 'he' mind! 'He'!- didn't really want to deal with. Still, on one hand, a possible Shounen ai character. On the other, Mafia boss to be.

Both weren't so bad.

"Whatever happens -happens. I will accept it with open arms and high anxiety." Nodding his head to his reflection, the boy tried to leave the bathroom. Tried. Face planted on the floor, Mia -Tsuna groaned. "Welp, looks like I'm going to have to drag my sorry ass back to the bed."

It took far longer than when it had taken him to get to the bathroom; groaning as he managed to get his upper body onto the bed. "Note to self: get ripped as fuck. And fast." Pulling himself up with shaky arms, Tsuna swung his leg onto the edge and pulled once more. Groaning in sweet bliss of having the comfort of the bed under his body, Tsuna almost fell back asleep.

Almost.

The thought of why his body ached so much lingered in his mind. He knew that the original Tsuna was dead. Had committed suicide -that left a bitter taste in her mouth. For all the things she said earlier on, it was only to make her not upset. People who commit suicide aren't given justice. Children who follow in step of that direction are always mourned with people who dare say that it wasn't right for them to do so.

If that were the case, then they should look for the signs. Not give empty words of condolence. Not push them to the brink. Not when said person feels worthless and gives into those who bullied them.

Mia won't lie. She's had her fair shares of depression, bullying, and the like. But living -seeing the next day- was the biggest 'Fuck You' to her bullies. Mia was a bitter child because of that but she would rather live and piss them off before bowing to their wills.

A shame that, even with her determination to live, her mother took that away. What Mia's father saw in that woman, she would never know. But, that thought frame was for another time; back to Tsuna. He had no one to support him, not even his own mother. Mia, if anything, always cherished life and hated those who put down others to feel better.

Seeing those memories, it made her furious. Had she been alive in this world, then she wouldn't have hesitated to save Tsuna. Be his older-sister figure even. It was too late to think of such things though, now that Mia was living with his body.

That was most strangest concept, if Mia did say so herself. Shuddering from the sweat and cold air, Tsuna shuffled under the blankets. How was he going to live like this? Yeah, sure, it sounds like fun. But how would others react?

How would Tsuna's mother react? Giving a mental shrug, Tsuna let his eyes close. He couldn't pretend to be Tsuna, because he wasn't. A split decision was made before he let darkness consume.

Whatever happens.

Happens.

AN: This is mainly for those who want to continue reading BmB but don't want it to turn dark, here you go. A fic that's all crack and humor. Enjoy