A/N:
"Dreaming with a broken heart" - John Mayer
--
I reach out to the other side of my mattress to bring my girlfriend in my arms and against my bare chest.
That side is cold and all I touch is cotton sheets that haven't been washed for a couple of days.
I hear creaking outside my room.
She must be in the kitchen.
"Bella," I call.
My face is muffled in my pillow so I didn't expect a quick answer.
I expected her to open my door as quietly as possible, in case I'm still asleep and take a peek in. When she would see the slight smile on my face and crawl on the bed, roll me off the bed and giggle when I groan and try to pull her down with me. We would kiss and go on with our daily routine.
But she didn't.
She must be taking a shower, but there was no water running.
I opened my door and walked out into the small living room, she could be reading.
Not there.
"Bella," I call again, I sound scared. I'm such a pansy, she's probably outside coming back from the store. I walk hurriedly to the front door and fling it open.
The cold spring air hits my body with a little wind and force added, it's pushing me back inside so I don't see.
Her car is gone.
I rush back to my room and search my dresser, her clothes have gone missing. Her suitcase is gone. My Bella is gone. My baby, my love, my girl.
She's gone.
--
It's been a week since Bella left.
I found out she went back to Edward and moved in with him and his family soon after.
I haven't left the house since the day she left. I lay in my bed and bring the pillow she used to sleep on up to my nose so it's easier to imagine her in my dreams.
Her shampoo and conditioner are still in my shower. The bowl and spoon she used to eat her cereal are still in my sink.
I found a loose sock of hers still in my dryer.
I miss her and it hurts, I wish she would call me and tell me that she needs me. Tell me that she wants to feel my arms around her and feel my breath against her neck.
Shit. I'm tired of crying all the time because she's not by my side. She's with someone else. She chose me, but I'm guessing that was a mistake.
Our relationship was built from a mistake.
Jesus.
I will always love Bella. But she was a mistake.
--
I drained her shampoo and conditioner and threw the bottles away.
I am getting rid of her smell.
The clothes she left her are burned and the ashes are in my trash can.
I am trying to forget what she did to me.
The affect she had on me.
I ripped the sheets off my mattress and put on a fresh set.
I am moving on with my life.
I will no longer be broken.
Goodbye Bella.
--
"Dreaming with a broken heart" - John Mayer