Part 1: Pippa, Castle Rhymes

I glanced down at the courtyard from my windowsill in the west wing for the final sweeping analysis of the grounds below. Now was the time.

The thought of having the constant thorn in my side removed sent a wave of relief through my body and I sprang from my seat with a surprising amount of speed. I walked down the corridors with clenched fists and tried hard not to smile. Being caught was not an option, but if I was caught, I would be damned if it was because I was in a state of suspicious excitement. I scowled at a guard as I passed for good measure and he looked uncomfortably at his feet. I reveled in the power that I wielded over her mindless minions.

Then, from a usually vacant room, I heard a familiar voice asking for reassurance from an inanimate object. "Mirror, mirror on the wall who is the fairest of them all?"

"Talking to mirrors again, are we, Mother?" I asked.

The Queen glowered. "What do you want now, you little wretch?"

"Lovely. You must have turned that charm on just for me."

She flashed a malicious smile, but with the shake of her head returned to her beautiful reflection. It pains me to admit it, but not even I could deny that she was gorgeous. Her skin was snow-white, soft as velvet but shimmered like diamonds. With those ruby red lips and emerald eyes, it was like someone took all the most precious stones in the world and put them together to flawlessly crown her face. Perfect, hard and cutting. Those cold emerald eyes held no feeling for anybody but herself. However, her compelling gaze could convince you otherwise, if you were unwise enough to look straight into them.

A mixture of jealousy and defiance welled up in me. I won't be subject to her games anymore. "Well then, I'll be stepping out for a few days, won't I? See you."

"You can't leave now. Alliances are to be made. The Duke is bringing his nephew, who I hear has grown to be quite handsome."

"Behave yourself with the Duke," I said, and then with a smile, "he's married."

And instead of being insulted my scandalous, yet well-founded warning, her face glazed over and seemed to say, I do have many admirers, don't I? I rolled my eyes and tip toed towards the door, she snapped back into focus.

"Guards!"

Rats.

Two fat old men in armor appeared in the doorway. "Escort the princess to the Tower until her guests arrive, and then escort her to the hall to greet them at the appropriate time. Make sure all doors are locked. She is not to leave for any reason until they arrive."

The guards did as they were told and were surprised that I went without a fight. They seemed unable to come up with any good reason for my lack of struggling or escaping. Not daring to put their heads together for fear they'd produce a hollow noise, I'm sure they dismissed thought altogether. Resistance was futile. Leaving the normal way would attract too much of the wrong attention. Being carried away- only to be left alone shortly thereafter- was actually an ideal situation for me.

The two guards that walked with me were painfully slow. They complained constantly of this ailment or that failing limb. I can be patient, sometimes, when I know things will go my way, but I have no tolerance when it comes to whining adults. I tried to encourage them to move faster by quickening my pace, but they merely grasped my arms tighter with their sweaty hands and dragged their heels more. A plan formulated and I smiled to myself. With my next step, I stuck my right foot out farther than necessary so that it would impede the rhythmic marching of the guard beside me. However, as fate would have it, luck was not on my side for this little venture. The guard toppled over, and -still clutching my arm- pulled me down as well. Naturally, the guard on my left would choose not to let go when the two of us fell, and roughly sandwiched me between him and the floor.

"Gwetofome," I gasped from beneath the heavy, middle-aged man.

"What?"

Despite having clearly missed what I said, he had the good grace to roll over to let me speak. Honestly, having a corset constrict the amount of air in my lungs was tiring enough, let alone a two hundred plus guard crushing me. I was lucky I hadn't asphyxiated yet.

"I said remove yourselves from my presence before I have you removed altogether."

"Most humble apologies, your Highness," the one who had landed on me blubbered. "But if you will forgive us, we still must escort you to your room."

I narrowed my eyes, and shot them both threatening glances. "I will be walking to my room. You may follow at your own convenience, but under no circumstances will either of you touch me again, understood?"

They bowed and nodded, sputtering incomprehensible replies. The plan had failed miserably; however, it allowed me to walk alone. Good enough. So, despite my plans' uncanny knack for going completely haywire, they usually do result with some desired end, which I can deal with- no matter the bruises. I turned sharply on my heel and walked away with a spring in my step and a smile on my face.

The Tower

After that embarrassing mishap, it took mere minutes to arrive at my destination: my "other" room. At least that is what we call it, to hide the truth from the guests. Anyone who worked in the castle could tell you what it really was: an interrogation cell, a prison, a torture chamber, or, quite possibly, all three at once. Nevertheless, I thought the room was relatively cozy, considering the circumstances. Naturally, no one could ever know my feelings on the subject, or the Queen would hurl me in a real pit of despair.

I threw myself on my bed. I needed to think of the best possible way to escape, so I could start my particularly excellent adventure. My solitary window was the only passageway to the outside world since the door was locked and guarded in more than just a physical way, and there was still that gap of at least a hundred feet between the ground and me.

I needed inspiration, and for this, I went to my wardrobe. No, this wardrobe does not console or advise, like some I know of, but this one was still special. The wardrobe's hinges were rusty and it had been placed in this room purposely for its uselessness. It had been awkwardly made. There was a large area where it looked as if the carpenter had wanted to make a bottom drawer, however, only to realize that he lacked the intelligence to do so, sealed it up, and tried to hide the blunder with wood carvings. I walked over to the wardrobe, opened it, and pushed my way through so that I was half way in and had my hands on the base. I felt around the edges until I found the small hole made by the crack between the back of the wardrobe and the top of the would-be drawer. I stuck my finger into the crack, pulled gently, and watched as the surface panel eventually gave way. I had to remove a lot of the clothes from the wardrobe to capture enough light to be able to read the titles of the books that stared back at me. Luckily, I had been able to smuggle many of my father's books into this room before my mother had decided they were a waste of space.

I hit the bull's eye on my first glance. "Fairy-Tale Escapes for Realistic Individuals: Ways to Make a Meaningful Exodus," I murmured. I had read that one many times before. I had kept it to cheer me up because some of the ways were quite humorous, but today it just might serve another purpose. The thoughts came to me like bean stalks crashing down from the sky. Flutes, Pumpkins, Bread crumbs! No, all those plots require materials from the outside world, and were completely irrelevant to the situation at hand since magic couldn't be used inside the tower. But I was not completely without options. That would be to assume that I lacked imagination.

Trapped in a tower… A plan was forming. I ran over to my bed and stripped off my sheets, and threw them into the small wardrobe. My face composed, I knocked on the door with unnecessary force until it opened slightly.

"Where are all my bed clothes?" I shouted.

The two guards stared at each other with shocked expressions. "We are not in charge of such things, Your Highness," one ventured bravely.

"Well, then you better find out who is and tell them I am missing my sheets and bed curtains, and I expect them in my room as soon as possible." I paused dramatically, but neither of them made any movement. "Now! You're going communicate this message telepathically!"

It took them an hour and a half to get my new sheets. In the meantime, I ripped my original sheets and started tying some of them together. I jumped when I heard the knock on my door. I heard the latch of the lock move, and I shoved my old sheets into the wardrobe. Two maids walked in and started making the bed. I wished I could tell them just to leave them there and that I would do it, but that would make them suspicious. So I just stood there, waiting, knowing that I'd just undo it all as soon as they left. I tapped my foot impatiently and made disgruntled noises until they finally deemed whatever halfway job they had done was sufficient for the night and left.

After ripping and tying together the last of the sheets, I tied the makeshift rope to one of the legs of my bed and then pushed the bed against the wall by to the window. I tied my hair back into a low ponytail and wondered what people would think about my departure. It'd never be the truth. I looked down to see a familiar diamond on my left hand casually winking at me in the moonlight. I attached it to the chain around my neck and tucked it under my dress. After a swift glance out the window, I threw down my many sheets, took a big breath, and began my descent.

By Royal Decree from Her Royal Majesty, the Queen of Rhymes:

It would please Her Majesty if all able fingered scribes please click the magical link below before leaving her kingdom and inform us how much you enjoyed your brief stay here.

And remember, don't eat the apples.

Signed,

The Royal Guard