When You're Gone, a degrassi fanfic

Description: This story is about the first Christmas without JT, and how Liberty is dealing with it.

Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi, and I do not own Avril Lavigne or the song "When You're Gone"

I always needed time on my own
I never thought I'd need you there when I cried
And the days feel like years when I'm alone
And the bed where you lie is made up on your side
When you walk away
I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now?

It had only been a few months since JT died. But to Liberty it felt like years. She had cried pretty much every day since the stabbing. To others, she felt like she was finally getting back to the old Liberty. But she knew she wasn't. She would still think about everything that they've been through together. And, instead of enjoying the memories she had with JT, she would cry thinking of how she would never get to enjoy any new memories of JT.

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day
And make it ok
I miss you

This is the first christmas without JT. Liberty was just wishing she could skip past it. Christmas was supposed to be a time of happiness with the ones you loved. How was she supposed to be happy if she didn't have the one she loved anymore? The only thing she had left of JT was her memories. And, even those were slowly beginning to fade since everytime Liberty thought of the good times with JT, it would quickly turn into the bad times. The fights, the giving up of her son, his attemped suicide, and then eventually his death. She couldn't deal with it.

I've never felt this way before
Everything that I do reminds me of you
And the clothes you left, they lie on the floor
And they smell just like you
I love the things that you do
When you walk away
I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now?

JT spent Christmas with Liberty and her family the previous year. That's what making this Christmas so difficult. He helped Liberty put the lights on the house while throwing snowballs at her. He helped set up the tree, and helped decorating it. Liberty even let him put the star on the top of the tree which was something Liberty had done since she was little. She told him that she wanted him to continue doing it. But, now he couldn't. She wanted to leave the top of the tree empty from now on, but her parent's wouldn't allow it. They said it wouldn't be a Christmas tree without the star on the top. Christmas will never be the same with JT.

It was Christmas Eve night that for the several thousandth time that Liberty cried herself to sleep. It was a usual routine she did most nights before going to bed. This night was special, though. At some point through the night, Liberty had a vision of JT. It was nothing out of the ordinary, for she did it often. He would say that he loved her, that everything was going to be alright, and things like that. But, this time he said something very different. Something that Liberty would remember for the rest of her life.

We were made for each other
Out here forever
I know we were, yeah
All I ever wanted was for you to know
Everything I'd do, I'd give my heart and soul
I can hardly breathe
I need to feel you here with me, yeah

Liberty was fast asleep in her bed when she heard a voice behind her that awoke her. The voice was calling out her name.

"Liberty."

Liberty sat up in her bed, and grabbed her glasses off of the nightstand next to her bed. She put them on her face when she clearly saw JT in front of her. It was not like her normal visions at all. It appeared as though JT was there before her very eyes. She believed she was dreaming, but she didn't care. This was the closest thing to JT she had at that moment.

"I love you, Liberty," JT said.

"I love you too, JT," Liberty answered as she began to cry.

"I know this is hard for you, but it's going to be alright. I will always be with you. Whenever you need me, just close your eyes, and you'll see me."

Liberty was speechless and could not think of anything to say, although she tried.

"Don't say anything Liberty. I must go now. Go back to sleep, my darling. Oh, and don't worry. Christmas will carry on without me, it will be okay. Goodbye, Liberty. I love you," JT said before turning around and his presence began to fade away.

Liberty wiped away her tears and laid down in bed. She took off her glasses and put them back onto her nightstand. She smiled as she closed her eyes and fell back asleep. It would be the first time in a long time that she didn't cry herself to sleep. It had been an even longer time that she fell asleep with a smile on her face. JT was with her, and she was going to be okay.

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok
I miss you