Soup Crackers

Summary: The aftermath of Standing in the Dark with Darcy. Just one night after everything that had happened, she lays in bed, and thinks about everything. Minor Parcy talk.

Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi. I also don't own Linkin Park's Crawling.

Enjoy!

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She laid in bed at night, thinking about everything that she had been through, which had been a lot. Sometimes, she thought that maybe she was dreaming, and that none of this was real. But, she knew she was wrong. She knew that nothing could erase the memories of what she had been through. And, she still did not believe what she had gone through. She never thought that she, Darcy Edwards, would have been raped.

Crawling in my skin
These wounds they will not heal
Fear is how I fall
Confusing what is real

Just thinking of the word raped tore her up inside. She had heard stories of girls who had it had happened to before, but she never thought that she would become a statistic just like them. And, now she had chlamydia. So, not only was she having to deal with the emotional repercussions, but she also had to deal with her illness now. It was all up to her.

There's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface
Consuming, confusing
This lack of self-control I fear is never ending
Controlling, I can't seem

Well it wasn't all up to her. She did have Manny and Peter to talk to. But, they don't understand. They've never been in Darcy's situation before. But, she couldn't tell anyone else. Not even her parents. They couldn't know. What would they think of her? They wouldn't think of it as Darcy being drugged, and Darcy being raped. They would see it as their good Christian daughter being on drugs, and their baby having promiscious sex with God only knew how many people. She couldn't deal with that. She had enough to go through.

To find myself again
My walls are closing in
(without a sense of confidence and I'm convinced that there's just too much pressure to take)
I've felt this way before
So insecure

Darcy didn't know what to do next. There wasn't anything to do, she thought. She could always continue to pretend that nothing was wrong. But, she knew from personal experience that it would just make things work. Maybe she could just talk to Manny. She didn't understand what Darcy was going through, but at least she would be there to listen so Darcy wouldn't have to talk to herself anymore. She liked talking to Ms. Sauve, but it was just weird to talk to an adult about that kind of thing. Darcy had never been so lost in her entire life.

Crawling in my skin
These wounds they will not heal
Fear is how I fall
Confusing what is real

She thought about how her life was before iit/i happened. Things weren't exactly picture perfect, but she would have traded it for anything. This whole thing did help Darcy and Peter grow closer, which Darcy was happy about, but she just wished it was under different circumstances. Her and Peter had been doing great since the beginning. She didn't know what she would do without him. Besides Jesus, he was her life.

Discomfort, endlessly has pulled itself upon me
Distracting, reacting
Against my will I stand beside my own reflection
It's haunting how I can't seem

Darcy continued to toss and turn that night, since she just couldn't fall asleep. Everytime she would begin to fall asleep, she would think about the bits and pieces she knew about. Even though she didn't know too much, and those pieces were fuzzy as it was, it still disturbed her to at least somewhat know what was going on. She knew this would haunt her for the rest of her life.

To find myself again
My walls are closing in
(without a sense of confidence and I'm convinced that there's just too much pressure to take)
I've felt this way before
So insecure

She thought about how life might be after she got past all of this. She didn't get very far. She just couldn't imagine life much different than it was now. She thought about graduating. She knew that would be at least ione/i thing that would happen. But, with everything that had happened, she would be lucky if she passed grade 11. But, Darcy wasn't worried about that. She was just worried about herself, mentally. Will I ever be okay again, she thought. She knew she would, it would just take a lot of time. She knew everybody healed at a different pace. Time would only tell how long it would take.

Crawling in my skin
These wounds they will not heal
Fear is how I fall
Confusing what is real