WISHING FOR FORGIVENESS

I couldn't help but remember the happy time we had together. Natsume and Mikan. We were the favorite couple back in academy. Everyone knows how much we love each other and always saying that we look like we were made for each other. But, everything shattered not long after we graduated. We broke up, and it's all because I didn't trusted her enough. I saw her with my best friend. They were laughing so happily, holding hand. Jealousy and rage filled my head. But I managed to control myself and forced myself to leave, ignoring my shaking hand. That night, she asked to meet me. I agree, holding my hatred from flowing out.

"I have something to tell you, Natsume," she said. We were at the park, under OUR Sakura tree, our usual place for a date. "I want to break up," she finally said.

I was silence for a while. "Why?" I asked, despite knowing her reason.

"I just know, that we won't be happy together," she said. She was looking away from me.

"Why don't you just say that you're choosing Ruka instead of me?!" I suddenly snapped. She looks at me, bewildered. Hatred and sadness overtake me.

"What are you talking about?" she asked.

"Don't act innocent! I saw you holding hand with him this evening!" I shouted at her.

She was shocked, speechless. Realization struck her, as she understood my words.

"You understand now?! We're over!" I left her, still dumfounded.

Later, Ruka told me that she was just encouraging him to confess to Hotaru. I tried searching for her, wanting to at least apologoze but I never found her again. I heard she went to England. I never know why…until a few years later

I was the manager of renowned company. The business keeps my thought away from her. I've heard that she was sick, but I couldn't bring myself to face her. So I dwelled myself in work. One evening, I went to the park where we used to meet. It was really nostalgic. I sat on a bench. I still remember the time I confess to her. She accepts almost immediately. I chuckled, remembering the old times.

"Natsume-kun?" a familiar voice pull me from old memories.

"Anna?" I was shocked. I never expected to see one of Mikan's best friend. I heard she came along when Mikan went to England, along with Hotaru and Nonoko.

"Hey, long time no see," she greeted me normally. I wonder if she knows about me breaking up with her best friend.

"Yeah… How have you been doing?"That was the only question that I felt fit, trying to restrain myself from asking any questions regarding Mikan.

"Fine, I guess. So, I heard you're the manager of ALD now. As to be expected from the student council president," she said. ALD is the name of the company I'm working.

I just nodded. Then, silence covered us. I wanted to ask about Mikan. But, somehow… my voice won't come out. I wonder if she wants to see me, after all my mistakes. I didn't trust her enough. I betrayed her. She might be hating me now.

"Won't you visit Mikan?" she suddenly asked.

"Huh?"

"Look, I know you two broke up, but she need you now." She said, actually pleading with me.

"Wait. What are you saying?" I asked, confused.

"She's dying…The operation failed," Anna whispered. "Please…Just this one time, go and see her before its too late."

"But, she hated me…"

"For what?!" she yelled. "All these years, she had only thought about you!" she cried again. "Please…just this one time, just go see her. She doesn't have much time left…"

Shocked was an understatement. I was dumbfounded, speechless. My mind was blank. I don't even realize that I nodded to her. Then the next things I know, we were already in front her. She sat there on a wheelchair staring out of the window. Her bright brown eyes that once were full of life now are lifeless. She looks calm and serene.

"Mikan…" I whispered.

She heard me and turned to me, smiling her brightest smile. Her smiles always make me stunned, filling me up with hope and love. It still did. I walked to her and fall in her arms. My arms around her waist and her arms caressing my hair. I feel like a child that just making a mistake returning to his mother. My egos were defeated by tears. I cried in her arms for God-know-how-long.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Mikan," I managed to say it in between my cry. "I love you. Don't leave me…"

"I forgive you, Natsume. I love you too, and I always will," she said softly, comforting me with her vivid and yet weak voice.

After that, we chatted and talked about the past years. We laughed and joked as if wanting to cover our last empty years. She told me that she had some sort of rare disease and she went to England for treatment. She wanted to tell me at that time, but I cut her off before she could say it. She just chuckled when she say it, didn't even mind my sadden look. If only I know, then maybe I can…I don't know? Give her some support or something? But now, I just I can stay by her side.

It's almost dusk when Mikan suddenly holds my hand tight.

"Natsume, I have live this life to my heart content. I just wish that I could live long enough to meet you again. God grant my wish, Natsume. I'm happy…" she whispered. I understood at once that her time is almost up.

"Don't say that, Mikan. You're strong. You'll definitely able to make it through this," I said, denying the truth that we both know.

She shook her head. "You and I know, Natsume. My time is up," she said, still smiling. "Live to your fullest, Natsume. That's all I hope for you. Maybe we'll see each other in Heaven or Hell," she chuckled, trying to make unsuccessful joke. " Until then goodbye, Natsume. I love you,"

I can feel her tight hold on my hand has finally gone weak. My tears flowing down my cheeks as I stared at her dying face. She looked calm and happy. I leaned down, kissing her still-warm lips softly and hugged her for the last time and whispered the words that chocked me to death to her ears, hoping that she will hear it on the other side.

"See you later, Mikan…I love you forever,"

This is my first fanfic!

please R&R!