By: Aurora Goddess
Disclaimer: All characters that have appeared in the syndicated series Xena: Warrior Princess belongs to MCA/Universal and Renaissance Pictures. No copyright infringement was intended in the writing for this fan fiction.
Rated: T
Date Written: June 2003
Summery: This is a short vignette that takes place post-Motherhood. It deals with the end of that episode and what I think went on after Ares had given up his immortality.
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He had done it—and all for her. His godhood, his family—they were all gone because he had done something for Xena she could have never expected. When Eve and Gabrielle's lives had been on the line, Ares had realized it was to be either him or them and he chose them, giving up his immortality, transferring it into Gabrielle and Eve so that they would live again. In doing so, though, he had lost all of the family he had ever known—not that they ever really meant much to him anyway, but they were his family, nonetheless. In only a short amount of time, much of his family had disappeared from the earth and he found himself mortal, all because of Xena.
His act did not go unnoticed by Xena and, once she had rejoiced in having Gabrielle and Eve back with her again, she had turned to Ares and thanked him, in a way that was truly grateful, showing that what he had done really meant something to Xena and it had touched a part deep inside of her that she never once thought Ares could ever reach. Her overwhelming thankfulness took over Ares and in response to her thanks, all he could do was nod. In that one moment, Xena had realized that Ares had changed and he had proved to her how much he really did love her. He had given up everything he ever knew for Xena and Xena was amazed by his sacrifice.
They stood and looked at each other for only several moments but, to Ares, it felt like a lifetime. He had done something good for Xena and, for the first time, she was able to show a kindness to him she had never once shown before. He was relieved that she could believe what he did was a true act of love for her and he couldn't help but wonder what the future might hold for them, if he would finally get a chance with Xena in the future. That's really the only hope he had—and the only reason for his actions: to see Xena alive and happy with the two most important people in her life and to hope for a chance to be with her one day. Perhaps his sacrifice would be the turning point and everything would change between them.
Ares stood back and watched as Xena, Gabrielle and Eve begin their descent back to earth. He wasn't sure whether to follow them or not, and he figured that he had better make it Xena's call. He watched them as they began to leave, a thousand thoughts and feelings still filling his mind, thoughts of the past, the present and the future. He thought of his current situation and his mortality. He thought of his feelings for Xena and wondered if what he had done had all been worth it. He was so drowned in those thoughts that he barley heard his name being called, the voice calling him soon shaking him out of his thoughts.
"Ares?"
It was Xena calling to him and Ares looked at her. She was looking back at him, her eyes were kind and warm, expressing feeling that he had never seen in her before—at least not a feeling she had ever directed his way before. Her eyes seemed to have a tenderness to them that reflected the look she had given him when she had thanked him.
"Are you coming?"
Ares nodded and walked up to her and the four of them headed out of Olympus.
The cool breeze blew around them as Xena and Ares stood in the tall grass, the backdrop of the ocean behind them, the waves lapping up against the shore creating a sense of tranquility around them. Gabrielle and Eve were in the distance, sitting on the grass, talking amongst themselves.
Xena was in front of Ares, looking him over. She was smiling a little and they were looking at each other, in silence. It was still amazing to realize what he had done and she still found it difficult to believe that it had all really happened. She never saw it coming; it was a complete surprise.
Ares sighed and looked down at himself, raising his hands in front of his face.
"Mortality... Doesn't feel that different, really, except that it feels like I've lost something, something that I can't replace."
Xena smiled. "It's really not so bad, once you get used to it."
"If I ever get used to it."
"Oh, you will," she smirked and then chuckled, putting her hands on her hips, "in a few years, if you're lucky."
Ares let out a soft chuckle along with her and they smiled at each other before becoming more serious. Xena looked at him and sighed, seeming to want to say something but not sure of how to go about it. She swallowed and Ares awaited her next move.
"Ares...what you did..." she broke off in mid-sentence and looked down.
Ares smirked and for a moment, regained his familiar wit and bravado that was so often a part of his persona when he was a god. "Was amazing? Yeah, I know."
For a moment, it was the God of War standing there rather than the mortal, and Xena looked at him, smiling to herself, then nodding at him.
"It was."
Xena and Ares continued to look at each other, at a loss for words. Then, Xena moved closer to him and Ares stood there, trying to anticipate what her intentions were. Xena lifted her hand and placed it on his cheek, stroking it gently, her eyes showing a level of affection for him she rarely, if ever, showed him. In times before, when they had been together, she had always been nervous about giving into those feelings that she had for him but now that Ares was mortal, and the fact that he was that way because of her, she decided it was time to let her guard down, if only briefly and let him know that she did care.
Ares watched her, a flood of emotions rushing through his body, wondering what was to happen next. Her touch was soft and warm, stroking his cheek, and sending him into a place of rapture. Her touch had always had an affect on him but when it came to him with kindness and true affection, it made him feel completely different. It made him feel truly human. He was always amazed at the feelings that she could spark in him as the God of War. Now that he was mortal, those feelings seemed to be ten times stronger and he wondered if that is how mortals feel every day.
Ares continued to gaze at her, as she did him, and he wondered how far she would actually go but part of him didn't care, because he knew that, for the first time, she was showing him that she cared and part of him knew that if he was to die right there, knowing that he had gotten that one moment with Xena, it would be enough to last him a lifetime.
Xena too, was in a place of bliss as she touched his cheek, knowing that what she touched was no longer the God of War but the mortal embodiment. He looked the same but he was subtly different, she could tell. She seemed to shiver inside, never having once been that close to him. He seemed to have a softness to him that he never had as God of War, and she believed that he had become human.
They stood their together, with her had on his cheek and time seemed to have stopped.
When she lowered her hand, they still looked into each other's eyes. Moments passed and Xena began to lean forward. Ares closed his eyes, anticipating a kiss but she wasn't aiming for his lips. She moved to the side and gently planted a kiss on his cheek, a kiss that sent shivers through both Xena and Ares' bodies. Their eyes were closed and when her lips touched his cheek, they both knew that things were changing between them.
When Xena stepped back and they opened their eyes, she saw a new love in his eyes, and both Xena and Ares' eyes seemed to shine with a new light, a happiness that they now shared.
"Thank you, Ares. I really do mean that," Xena said, her voice was caring but it was clear to both her and Ares that Xena wasn't just thanking him for his sacrifice, it was also a promise of the prospect of things changing between them in the future.
Xena and Ares were lost in each other for that single moment, looking deeply into each other's eyes, neither of them knowing what to say.
"So...where do we go from here?"
Xena looked at him, her eyes soft and gentle but they also showed a bit of sadness and Ares nodded.
"This is goodbye, isn't it?" Ares asked, even though he already knew the answer.
"It's how it has to be, Ares."
"Goodbye forever?"
"Perhaps not, but for now...yeah." Xena sighed and began to back away from him. "I hope you have a good life, Ares. Your life is what you make of it so make the best of it."
Xena turned around; a pain in her chest, seeming to tell her that she really didn't want to leave yet. But she knew that she had to, for her sake and Ares'. At that point and time in their lives, it wouldn't have been right for them to move forward in a relationship. Xena knew that, and so did Ares. But it was still hard for her to leave him and she knew he was feeling the same.
As Xena walked away, she heard Ares call to her. "Xena." Xena turned back too look at him. He hesitated for a moment, trying to get the words out and she waited patiently. "I love you." His words were loving and true.
Xena nodded. "I know. Thanks for that."
She smiled half-heartedly and then turned away from him, and he watched as she disappeared over the hill. Ares sighed and looked on after her.
"Goodbye, Xena."
He stared at the spot she had been for a moment longer then turned in the other direction and headed off, walking toward the beach.
Xena was coming down the hill, toward where Gabrielle and Eve were and, in the distance, she saw Ares walking along the beach, away from her, the ocean waves crashing around him. She stopped and at that same moment, he stopped too and looked back. Their eyes met and then he continued on and she watched him as he disappeared in the distance.
"Goodbye, Ares."
Once he was gone, Xena went to join up with Gabrielle and Eve. She knew that everything would be all right now. She had her daughter with her and her best friend again. But still, she couldn't help wonder, how would Ares fair in the mortal world that he was now a part of? It can be a cruel and harsh world at times, would he really be all right?
Xena tried not to think of such things and tried to just think about her life with Gabrielle and Eve and the joy she had again in having them back with her. But the thoughts of what lay ahead for Ares still filled her mind.
Perhaps they would see each other again one day, but he was mortal now, and anything could happen. She knew she was going to miss his ability to appear whenever he wanted to; she was going to miss that overwhelming presence he had around her. But she knew, too, that mortality would be good for him. He had already begun on the road to change even before he became mortal, and now, being moral—that was his next big step to becoming fully human.
When she reached Gabrielle and Eve, they were sitting together talking, and for the last time, Xena looked in the direction that Ares had taken. Her lips formed a small smile and, in her heart, she knew she would see him again. She just knew. And she knew that, in the future, there just might be a chance, for both of them. When the time was right, that chance would come. Xena knew it and Ares did, too. One day, everything would be different.
But for now, it was a goodbye.
END