Disappointment.
Written by WickedSong.
Disclaimer : I do not own Glee, FOX owns it.
Disappointment.
That's the feeling that wells up in the mind of Russell Fabray when his daughter, his Quinnie, his Lucy, tells him - or rather, her boyfriend, Finn Hudson, tells him through song - that she's pregnant.
At first he thinks it's a joke because what else could it be? She's barely a Sophomore. She cannot be pregnant. She's a good Christian girl, head of the celibacy club at school, she was a Cheerio. Russell is sure he and his wife raised her right. So why is she standing with a tear-streaked face in front of him, not denying it?
Because it isn't a joke.
He's trying to be really angry with her. He's trying to go off on a tangent but when he looks at her all he can see is the little girl who fell asleep at the football game. All he can see is his little girl who's going to be a mother, who's going to have a child.
"Get out of my house," he orders gruffly. His disappointment is overwhelming the love for his youngest daughter.
She tries to defend Finn and again Russell's disappointment for Quinn clouds the part of him that's meant to be a good and supportive parent in her time of need. He's meant to provide her with unconditional love and care and he can't because he can't see past his daughter giving birth at the age of sixteen.
"You too," he says to her, and he doesn't give her a hug, doesn't show her any affection because as far as he's concerned she's not his daughter anymore because his Quinn, his Lucy, wouldn't have done this.
He gets up and leaves her, Finn and his wife alone in the room, wondering how this happened to his family.
From there his life nosedives.
He does have guilt and periodically he wonders about his daughter and how she's doing in her pregnancy but pride makes it impossible for him to apologise to her or invite her back home so he stays sullen and only mutters one or two words on the topic in the few times it comes up. Whenever he feels bad he manages to make himself feel a little bit better by telling himself that she was the screw up in this situation, that she was the one got pregnant at age sixteen. That she was just a child herself.
His relationship with his wife is icy at best and that is when he turns to going to bars every other night, seeking solace in the arms of someone, to forget what his life has become.
Through this all he still feels disappointed. First with Quinn, for both becoming pregnant and then also lying to Finn, when the baby was Puckerman's (he would admit that he would have much rather had the former as the dad), disappointment in Judy for not telling him what she suspected, and then finally the disappointment lies in himself.
He did not show his daughter love like a Christian should, he did not show her acceptance, he was a hypocrite in his treatment of her. He raised her to be compassionate and what did he do? Threw her out onto the streets. No matter what she did she is his daughter and should have had the love of him when she told him.
And he's too stubborn to reconnect with her so he leaves it at that, Judy throws him out and he wonders again how he got here?
All that he can think is that he is now the disappointment and the screw up, not Quinn, him.
And he does not think he can forgiven for that.
I always found this relationship between the members of the Fabray family fascinating and I would love to see Quinn seeing her father, perhaps talking things through with him, in season three. But I doubt it'll happen.
Anyway hope you enjoy my trip into this dynamic;
WickedSong x