TITLE: And Me Without My Camera 1/1
AUTHOR: Sam (Lestrade42@aol.com)
RATING: PG-13 for nudity
FEEDBACK: Wait till you read it. You may not want to.
DISCLAIMER: All established characters belong to very rich people I don't know.
SPOILERS: None.
I take no responsibility for this one. Karen asked for it and it is her birthday :-)
______________________________________________________________________
Colonel Jack O'Neill dropped a pack of cards onto the table. "Okay kids, it's my pick this week. And I say... poker."
Major Samantha Carter rolled her eyes. "Imagine that. A Saturday night poker game."
Doctor Daniel Jackson laughed. "Gee Sam, you make it sound like we does this once a month. Oh wait...," he said sarcastically, "we DO do this once a month."
"I must agree, O'Neill. Your weekly hobby seems very repetitive." Teal'c said.
"Hey! We agreed. Every Saturday someone gets to pick what we do. You don't hear me complain when Carter wants to knit."
"Yes we do," Daniel and Sam said in unison.
"Fine, you want me to make it different? Okay, strip poker." Jack smiled.
Daniel blushed and Carter started to stammer. "Oh sir, I don't know..."
"How does one play 'stripoker', Danieljackson?"
"Well, um..." Daniel started.
Jack continued, smiling at the continually reddening linguist. "It's the same as a regular poker game. Except whoever loses a hand has to remove an article of clothing."
"And what is the purpose of this?"
"At this point, just to embarrass the hell outta Daniel. But... it IS something different."
Teal'c nodded slowly. "I will play 'stripoker'."
Jack shuffled the deck. "Anyone else in? Carter?"
"Ah...," she looked over at Daniel. As much as she hated to admit it, she was having a hard time not laughing at him. And he was the worst poker player on the base. Oh hell, it wouldn't last long. "I'm in."
Everyone's eyes fell on Daniel, who was now scarlet up to his ears. He took a deep breath. "Okay. But shoes count as two things."
"You got it."
~~~~~~~~~
Sam looked around the table slowly. Damn, she was gonna lose this hand. She knew it. Sighing, she dropped her cards. "Three of a kind."
Daniel smirked. "Full house. You lose."
Sam slammed her hand down on the table. She quickly pulled her hands into her T-shirt and started fumbling around. With another heavy sigh, she pulled her hands out along with a black lace bra. "Here."
Jack's eyes widened. "Whoa Carter."
"Not a word, sir. I'm still better off than you are."
Jack shifted in his seat. He was clad only in his boxer shorts. Teal'c had lost everything but his pants. Even Sam was down to her T-shirt and underwear. And yet Daniel had only lost both his shoes. He was playing better tonight than ever before. "Okay," Jack said, "one more hand then we call it a night."
"My deal." Daniel quickly shuffled the deck and tossed out cards across the table. "Two's are wild." Everyone looked at their cards carefully. Daniel's eyebrows raised, then dropped slowly.
Jack smirked. Payback. "Let's up the stakes for this round."
"How so?" Daniel asked.
"Okay, you keep the hand you have now. You can fold if you want, but if you stay in you have to forfeit all the clothes you still have on."
Daniel nodded. "I'm in."
Teal'c looked at his cards. "I will fold, Danieljackson."
Sam looked around. Jack had something up his sleeve, she knew it. But with the way Daniel's been playing... Hmmmm. She tossed her cards on the table. "Too rich for my blood. I'm out."
Daniel eyed Jack. "It's your move, Jack. Stay or fold?"
Jack smiled. Daniel was sweating. He could see it. He didn't have anything. Jack smiled. "I'll call." He laid his cards on the table. "Straight to the ten."
Daniel's face dropped. "Aww..."
Jack jumped up and started to dance. "Ha! Ha! I won!"
Daniel reached a hand up to his first button, but then paused. "Wait a minute..." He carefully laid his cards on the table and fanned them out. A seven of diamonds, a two of hearts and... three aces. "Four of a kind beats a straight." He looked up at Jack. "I win."
Carter burst out laughing.
Teal'c began to smile.
"No! Aw, come on!" Jack stamped his foot like a child. "No way! I'm not doing it!"
Daniel smiled and wiggled his hand. "Take 'em off."
Jack stammered for a few more seconds, then deflated. "Fine." He bent over and slid the boxers off. Carter clamped a hand over her eyes, but she was still laughing.
A throat cleared itself from the door. General Hammond was staring straight at Jack's rearend. Carter and Daniel jumped to their feet, while Jack tried to take cover behind a chair.
"Sir...," Carter started.
"No. Don't tell me, Major. I didn't ask and I don't want to know. Just... no." Hammond turned quickly and left.
Jack sighed. "Next week, we knit."
___________________________________________________________________
Happy birthday, Kar.
AUTHOR: Sam (Lestrade42@aol.com)
RATING: PG-13 for nudity
FEEDBACK: Wait till you read it. You may not want to.
DISCLAIMER: All established characters belong to very rich people I don't know.
SPOILERS: None.
I take no responsibility for this one. Karen asked for it and it is her birthday :-)
______________________________________________________________________
Colonel Jack O'Neill dropped a pack of cards onto the table. "Okay kids, it's my pick this week. And I say... poker."
Major Samantha Carter rolled her eyes. "Imagine that. A Saturday night poker game."
Doctor Daniel Jackson laughed. "Gee Sam, you make it sound like we does this once a month. Oh wait...," he said sarcastically, "we DO do this once a month."
"I must agree, O'Neill. Your weekly hobby seems very repetitive." Teal'c said.
"Hey! We agreed. Every Saturday someone gets to pick what we do. You don't hear me complain when Carter wants to knit."
"Yes we do," Daniel and Sam said in unison.
"Fine, you want me to make it different? Okay, strip poker." Jack smiled.
Daniel blushed and Carter started to stammer. "Oh sir, I don't know..."
"How does one play 'stripoker', Danieljackson?"
"Well, um..." Daniel started.
Jack continued, smiling at the continually reddening linguist. "It's the same as a regular poker game. Except whoever loses a hand has to remove an article of clothing."
"And what is the purpose of this?"
"At this point, just to embarrass the hell outta Daniel. But... it IS something different."
Teal'c nodded slowly. "I will play 'stripoker'."
Jack shuffled the deck. "Anyone else in? Carter?"
"Ah...," she looked over at Daniel. As much as she hated to admit it, she was having a hard time not laughing at him. And he was the worst poker player on the base. Oh hell, it wouldn't last long. "I'm in."
Everyone's eyes fell on Daniel, who was now scarlet up to his ears. He took a deep breath. "Okay. But shoes count as two things."
"You got it."
~~~~~~~~~
Sam looked around the table slowly. Damn, she was gonna lose this hand. She knew it. Sighing, she dropped her cards. "Three of a kind."
Daniel smirked. "Full house. You lose."
Sam slammed her hand down on the table. She quickly pulled her hands into her T-shirt and started fumbling around. With another heavy sigh, she pulled her hands out along with a black lace bra. "Here."
Jack's eyes widened. "Whoa Carter."
"Not a word, sir. I'm still better off than you are."
Jack shifted in his seat. He was clad only in his boxer shorts. Teal'c had lost everything but his pants. Even Sam was down to her T-shirt and underwear. And yet Daniel had only lost both his shoes. He was playing better tonight than ever before. "Okay," Jack said, "one more hand then we call it a night."
"My deal." Daniel quickly shuffled the deck and tossed out cards across the table. "Two's are wild." Everyone looked at their cards carefully. Daniel's eyebrows raised, then dropped slowly.
Jack smirked. Payback. "Let's up the stakes for this round."
"How so?" Daniel asked.
"Okay, you keep the hand you have now. You can fold if you want, but if you stay in you have to forfeit all the clothes you still have on."
Daniel nodded. "I'm in."
Teal'c looked at his cards. "I will fold, Danieljackson."
Sam looked around. Jack had something up his sleeve, she knew it. But with the way Daniel's been playing... Hmmmm. She tossed her cards on the table. "Too rich for my blood. I'm out."
Daniel eyed Jack. "It's your move, Jack. Stay or fold?"
Jack smiled. Daniel was sweating. He could see it. He didn't have anything. Jack smiled. "I'll call." He laid his cards on the table. "Straight to the ten."
Daniel's face dropped. "Aww..."
Jack jumped up and started to dance. "Ha! Ha! I won!"
Daniel reached a hand up to his first button, but then paused. "Wait a minute..." He carefully laid his cards on the table and fanned them out. A seven of diamonds, a two of hearts and... three aces. "Four of a kind beats a straight." He looked up at Jack. "I win."
Carter burst out laughing.
Teal'c began to smile.
"No! Aw, come on!" Jack stamped his foot like a child. "No way! I'm not doing it!"
Daniel smiled and wiggled his hand. "Take 'em off."
Jack stammered for a few more seconds, then deflated. "Fine." He bent over and slid the boxers off. Carter clamped a hand over her eyes, but she was still laughing.
A throat cleared itself from the door. General Hammond was staring straight at Jack's rearend. Carter and Daniel jumped to their feet, while Jack tried to take cover behind a chair.
"Sir...," Carter started.
"No. Don't tell me, Major. I didn't ask and I don't want to know. Just... no." Hammond turned quickly and left.
Jack sighed. "Next week, we knit."
___________________________________________________________________
Happy birthday, Kar.