WARNING: After Eclipse. Not big spoilers though.
Disclaimer: I don't owe Edward or Bella, or any other character from Twilight®, everything goes to Stephenie Meyer©
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Love means forever
By J.B.
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It was a very cold night. Edward sigh as I shivered between his arms.
"I told you to be rational" if his voice wouldn't be that velvet I'd definitely think he was reproaching me. But then again, he kissed me.
"I'm doing this on my own will and judgment"
He smiled my favorite smile "I know" then he touched my skin gently tracing a line of kisses after every touch. It was driving me crazy. It was the first time Edward decided to let me enjoy his entire self. I was so happy… I would never stop not even for the stupid cold air brushing my face.
Besides, I was shaking. So it was normal to be trembling inside an icy-stone body.
"I think we should do this by morning" he began.
"Oh no…" I rejected "you know perfectly how much it cost me to convince you to do this, Edward… I—I truly want this…."
"I know, love" He took my face in his pale hands carefully "But let me tell you I fully understand, I see why you do this, and I feel the same way. I love you too." He kissed me lightly in the forehead "But you have to understand me. I want you to enjoy it too. Tomorrow will be a sunny day, we know that"
Right, Alice had foreseen that the weekend's weather was al sunny and shiny so they all decided to go into a journey since they needed to hunt. Edward had hunt before so he wasn't really hungry, and also, we planed being alone together for the weekend.
I sighed, "Allright…" I said finally "Though they'll be here soon, we won't have much time"
He stared at me with a very unusual look in his topaz eyes. "Why? Don't you know you're skipping classes tomorrow?"
"Really?" I wondered too excited for my taste. "Well… that changes the thing" I said content.
"Sure" he said kissing me tenderly on the lips. Then he closed the two buttons I manage to open while kissing him and covered me with a thick and soft fabric. He stroked my hair nicely and kissed my ear before I hear my lullaby.
"Good night, Bella, love"
.-..-..-..-.
Next day was really awful; he made me go to the school arguing it was the last week of the course. Like if I cared!! All I wanted was to became a vampire so I could spend eternity with Edward…
Tuesday was even worse, he didn't mention the topic, he evaded my questions, and drove me home silently. Both nights were quiet and even boring. He almost didn't speak at all, only my song and some nice wishes for my dreams. Wednesday was a little better, the afternoon was lovely, I spent it all with Jacob on la Plush and I had a wonderful diner with Charlie. He was really proud of my cooking skills, he said really nice words. It was weird, but only then I understand why Edward wanted me to do this: My human time was about to extinct.
"So you got it now?" he asked gently
I nodded and kissed him "Thank you. Tomorrow, Jess and Angela are taking me to the movies and eating pizza, will you come too?"
"If that's what you want, love"
"Sounds good to me"
And so we did, after watching a movie, we eat and drove home; everything was going so good. What was next?
"So, tomorrow I was thinking we could go to the meadow" I suggested
He thought for a minute "Maybe that'll have to wait, tomorrow will be shining"
"Oh, well, then what's the plan?"
"Go and have fun with your friends" he hugged me before adding "You can go to la Plus if you want"
I smiled "I'll tell you what I'll do when I take a decision"
"Fine" he added before beginning my song.
By morning I went straight to my friends and organized a trip to la Plush where we stood about two hours, Jacob took care of me and Mike tried his best to take me into a walk, but he lost hope after few minutes.
It was almost perfect, but I missed Edward a lot. When I came back I spent an entire hour kissing his chest, his neck and his face. I was happy, Charlie was watching sports at his friends' so we had some time for us.
"I missed you"
"So I did" he spoke nervously
"Is something wrong?"
Then he kissed me, it was the first time he deepened the contact after so many months. I went dizzy when my lungs claimed for air, I broke the kiss to breath but suddenly he grabbed my waist with his cold fingers and pressed me against the bed. It felt delicious. He kissed my neck and passed his tongue around my lips, his eyes met mine and they were completely darken. No topaz, only pure black reflected in his iris.
"What is it love?" he asked when he saw fear in my eyes. "Do you want me to stop?"
"No" I whispered "But… I think you are… starving…" I said looking at his had unable to face his eyes.
"Here" he said touching my chin so I focus on his eyes "This is what I am. This is what you are for me. The most exquisite thing in this world. The only thing hat tracks my taste, but even when you have the finest smell, and you look so easy to corrupt, I will never harm you, instead I will protect you and give you my whole being. Because I love you. More than anything, Bella. More than my own life. You are my purpose, my reason, my life"
That was enough, I cried. His words were so much for me… and even if I didn't deserve so much… I love having it all. Edward was all I wanted. He was amazing, and I love him that much too…
"Oh, Edward…" I said between tears. He looked confused.
"What's wrong, Bella?"
"It's just that you are so amazing…" I said sobbing a little
"Please tell me" he said worried "If you don't like what I did I won't do it again" he said showing me his empty hands.
"No, Edward. It's just that you are so much for me.." I smiled and kissed him and hugged him with as much tenderness as I could. Then he tighten me and held me for a while.
"Bella, Bella, Bella…" He whispered as we separated "Someday I'll learn to understand your mind I swear"
I giggled and kissed him once, then twice, then I couldn't help myself when my lips went lost in his. Every kiss was perfect, and even then I wanted more. I wanted to show him all the love I had for him. I touched his face and traced circles around his shoulders, then he pressed me again against the bed. He stroked my hair over the pillows and kissed my neck slowly until he faced my collarbone.
He stopped, I knew it, he would tell me this was far enough… But then he kissed me again and smiled.
"Bella, do you permit me…?" he said pulling softly my blouse.
I froze.
Was he accepting…? Will he….? How? When? Too many questions surrounded my mind. He kissed my hand softly and I shivered. Then I smiled completely happy.
"Yes!"
He proceeded what he had begun and pulled all the fabric passing it across my head. My chest was biting loud and my head went all red. He rubbed his nose from my collarbone to my navel kissing my pale skin with pleasure. When I was about to touch him, he took my hands in his left arm and continued exploring my belly. I felt electricity all over myself as he bit my underwear and began sliding it through my shoulders. It was easy for him to nude me but he stopped and kiss me instead.
"Shall I go on?"
I nodded all blushed.
He smiled and released my hands so I put them inside his shirt. He was cold and I was burning. I removed the buttons and found his marble skin sparking, I took a look and I found the opened window letting some sunrays stamping at his chest.
I bit my lip, as I let his shirt in the bed with my own and we kissed again. His fingers found the way to my breasts and pressed them soft as he kissed my hair. Once more I felt his fingers over my chest but this time it was colder. There was no underwear anymore.
"You are lovely" he said kissing my shoulders "Don't be ashamed, you are beautiful" He brushed my back and lowered his had to my pants. He took his time pulling the of and welcomed my legs with kisses and caress. Then he removed my underwear and I was completely exposed to him.
We kissed slowly enjoying ourselves, then he hold me looking straight into my eyes "Are you sure?"
"Yes…" I said sure but low.
He let his last clothes in the floor and kissed me again, I was already inside the blankets and he nodded smiling. His firm body against mine, his lips kissing my warm skin and his fingers touching me tenderly. My hands around his neck brushing his hair with my fingers and my mouth kissing his skin with urge. It was exquisite.
His eyes were black, I love them, he was being somehow different, but ironically he seemed more human to me.
He stared at me and one second later I felt him entering me. It was painful, but I show no pain, after all it last only a minute, then another sensation covered me. It was new and it felt so common to me. I enjoyed it as much as he did. I saw it in his face. We were completely giving ourselves to the other and it was beautiful, I was truly happy.
When he said my name I trembled since it was a very emotional sound, his voice was lower than normal but it was more sincere. I'd never heard him like this before. Now he was laying by my side. And he kissed my arms delicately. I took his face with my hands and kissed him passionately.
"I love you, Edward"
He smiled.
"Even knowing what I am?"
"Of course" I said exited "I love you exactly the way you are" I saw then his eyes shining as never before.
"Bella…love…"
"What is it?"
"Do you really want to marry me?"
"Yes, and I'll do as we agreed before"
"If I wouldn't change you, will you still marry me at this age?"
I was about to complain he promised me he will transform me after getting married, but then… I saw his gaze and he was having a very serious conversation with me so I just swallowed my pride.
"Of course"
"But I thought you didn't want to be a young bride like you are…"
I smiled "Yes, I thought that too. But then I met you, and the thing I want to do the most is being with you forever"
He hugged me and I stared at him suspiciously "What's all this all about?"
He kissed my lips and smiled "Have you forgotten what day is today?"
"Thursday" I said convinced
"Yes… and tomorrow is Friday…"
At first I thought he was going to add something more, but then I understood… We were going to marry.
"Tomorrow??" I question frightened
"Yes, have you forgotten our plans?"
Of course not, but I lost completely the present time… I was getting married in less than 24 hours, and Charlie wouldn't even know… Of course it all was for the silly agreement Edward and I did, the only thing he wanted from me was getting married, and after all I wanted that. But not when I was 18. Though I'd be 18 forever… So the first weeding should be only for us. Then, we'd make a huge celebration with everybody else, once they thing I'd be 25 at least. Enough time to "finish" college, but more important, time to learn the ways of the vampires.
"Bella?"
"Sorry, no I didn't forget"
"Fine, because… well… "
"What is it, Edward?"
"Well… promise me you won't freak out…"
"You're scaring me, Edward"
"Well… Charlie and Reneé and some others know about the weeding"
.-..-..-..-.
Alice looked at me once more –by now it was a hundred times she had- and finally smiled. "You are incredibly beautiful" She hugged me and smiled.
I wish I could answer he with the same gesture, but I couldn't I was getting married in front of almost all Forks. Edward and the Cullens planned the weeding arguing it was a big surprise for me. Actually it wasn't a lie at all but still, I felt so stupid for not seeing it before. Angela and Jess looking for something in my left had when there was no ring. And everybody looking at me from time to time. Only then I understood all the best wishes Mrs Newton gave me last Saturday and Charlie's comment about my cooking. They all knew… Edward had to be charming for telling my parents that I was getting married without telling them…
"Don't tell me you are not doubting are you??" she panic.
"Of course not, Alice" I said icy "But… I'm scared to death"
"Oh, don't worry, it'll be fine. Edward loves you as much as you love him. We are together in this, if something happens I will help you"
"Thank you, Alice" I hugged her tight then we broke apart when Rose knocked the door. "Come in"
"My, my!" said smiling "You look beautiful!!"
"Thank you, Rose" I said sincerely but I doubt that I, even being the bride, could compare with her perfection, she was the most beautiful woman ever, but at least I was not jealous, actually I was happy to see her.
"Are you ready, dear?" asked Esme entering the room with my mother
"Yes, I am" and then my mother hugged me tight
"Bella, my Bella…!" She almost cried. But I comforted her "This is so sudden…"
"I know mom…" I was about to apologize when she smiled.
"I understand, Charlie does too. We can see your confusion, getting married young the exact way we did. But it's ok. You love each other so you'll be fine. I love you Bella"
"I love you too, mom" I couldn't help crying, this was mostly a good-bye.
Actually Edward did this because in a way he knew nothing was going to be the same. Of course he knew we were going to leave and will not come back until I mastered the vampire ways. Maybe I'd never see my parents again. Not in a very long time. But I'd do anything for my dear Edward.
.-..-..-..-.
"I do" he said without problem, his velvet voice sounded happy and sure. He smiled at me.
Then I heard some voices when the priest was asking me, I slightly turned and saw Jacob entering the church. My heart stopped. Edward looked at me smiling, waiting, he was expecting both answers, yes or no, I knew it, obviously he want me to be happy. But so I did, I wanted his happiness. I glanced quickly into the public and saw Jacob waiting for me, like if he knew I was saying no.
But instead I smiled and after a single tear fell down from my eyes, I happily said "I do".
Jacob never spoke to me again, I thought he had promised me to live without me, that he understood, but after the weeding, he lost himself in the woods. They told me we could never return Forks, since the werewolves claimed war with every single vampire, vegetarian or not.
But Edward and I went on in our lives. We went to Alaska. There was a little house Carlisle and Esme bought us as a weeding present. There we unpacked and began our honeymoon.
But of course my honeymoon was not a normal one. The first night we arrived, the ritual began. Edward prepared the room with candles and flowers. A romantic way to become a vampire.
"I'll make it as soft as I can" he said ashamed.
"Edward, look at me…" I said while taking his hand into mine "This is what I want… I'm asking you to do it, I love you more than you can imagine, I want to be with you, I know this will be painful, but believe me, it will pass and the happiness that will came will make that pain worthy. I promise, the human thing I will never forget will be the day we met, the day we made love for the first time, the day you first kissed me, the day we married, not the pain"
I finished my speech with a long kiss. Then he began tighting my hands and feet with a soft piece of silk. He kissed me every time he could and to my relief he wasn't sad or unsure, actually he was happy.
I closed my eyes. I breath for the last time I'd need air. I opened them again and nodded with a smile. "I'm ready"
He bite my hand.
Of course it was painful, but I did not scream. The little tears formed in my eyes were eased with his fingers and gently touch. He sang my lullaby and played the piano. Everything was burning inside my hand. But I was happy, enjoying his presence and his delicious kisses.
When the pain grew, he left the music and hugged me, he kissed me and listen to every moan and cry I did about the pain. We both were suffering but still we were together and that made us stronger.
"I love you, Bella" he said countless times.
The pain was growing and my control was vanishing, Edward's confidence was being erased by the doubt and the fear.
"Don't--you--regret" I managed to say once I saw my pain reflected in his eyes "I—wanted—and—still want—this"
I was burning alive, I thought I'd never made it, it was awful, but watching Edward becoming uneasy forced me to resist the pain.
"Maybe—"I began trying not to cry "Maybe… if you bite me more… the poi—"
"Never" He said evading my eyes "It will only make it harder, that's how Carlisle transformed me…"
I understood then that my only hope was to be patient, to ignore the pain, to focus on his lullaby and to find my way out of the madness.
"Tell me more" I whispered when my forehead was full of sweat.
"I'll tell you this one, when I was younger, I think I haven't mentioned it to no one… You'll see, once I met this vampire" he said cleaning my sweaty head "He was strong and he liked to hunt deer, he had a wife. So when he was transformed, he left town for the safety but--"
"Edwaaaard…" I said when I noticed the silky strips were about to rip
"Easy, love" he said wrapping another in each member. "Better?" asked as he approached to kiss me. But something awful happened: I tried to bit him.
"Oh, Edward…!! I'm sorry, I—"
"Don't worry, Bella" He said as normal as always "I't s agood sign"
"No Edward, I think it'd be better for you to leave me…" I said crying
"No, love. Look at me" He dared to take my head in his fists "I love you, we'll be fine, I swear, I love you, Bella"
"Edward…" I manage to accept his hand in mine without trying to scratch him, it wasn't cold at all. Actually he was getting warm "Edward! Your hand! It's warm!"
"No, love. You are icy too now"
"Oh… Well… that's… that's wonderful!" I said trying to show him a smile "I won't need to wrap myself into quilts before having the night with you"
Then there were the tears again.
"What is it, Bella? Can I do something?"
I refuse with my head, "Better you tell me the story"
"Well, he left the town where her wife was, but before he did, he told her the whole story, which the woman couldn't believe, but after seeing him every year as old as he was when he gone, she did. By that time, five long years past and she fell into depression. So he decided to transform her"
"And what happened?"
"Well that was not exactly my point" he said cleaning my forehead again "The thing is, love can do marvelous things. And I can't tell you how much this means to me… You never doubt about this, you never doubt about being a vampire just to be with me…"
"Edward? What happened to the woman?"
"She didn't survive"
"What? Why?"
"Because she didn't really want to be transformed and the pain got her mad. So he bit her much more than needed. She died when she almost was a vampire"
"How sad" I said kind of down "and to him?"
"He is now part of the Vulturi"
I froze. Those guys were frightening. I realized what they did to the humans and I felt something weird. It hurt.
"Oh… Bella… your eyes!! you are hungry…" he said not believing it "That means you are almost a vampire"
"Please, control me before killing innocent people…" I begged before breaking apart in tears.
"It's going to be fine" he assured me, then he kissed me before cheking the silky ribbons "I'll be back in minutes"
That was the worst part. He left and I began thinking of blood, it was like if I'd always known blood was my predilection. I was starving; it was easy to move now inside the fabric, so I tried my best not to move at all. Minutes past and Edward wasn't home yet. I inspected the house, it was nice, my own house… With my husband… with my true love… I smiled. But then again, that stupid hunger absorbed me again. How could Edward manage to be near humans. The nearest village was 20 kilometers from here and I could smell blood… That was insane. Sure Edward was a masochist. Not eating me all those times he could… I understood all the moments he stepped back and stopped kissing me. I was so damned fool! Well of course I trusted him, but still he was a vampire… and I was a human.
Human… human… blood…
My body convulsed so hard I thought how barely my tights will help… I needed to focus. One thing… pain. There was still pain, still that burning feeling but not as hard as the last days. Days that Edward and I shared by listening to his stories. I imagined the woman's pain and I knew that I had passed the chance to die, now I had to eat and that was the second most dangerous phase. The hunger.
Again, my body shake and I felt lost. I closed my hands into fists and all the strength crossed my arms ripping apart all the soft ribbons. I felt heavily into the ground and everything went dizzy. Last thing I felt was Edward smell approaching to the house with something tasty.
.-..-..-..-.
I opened my eyes and Edward was sitting next to me. A very fancy glass in front of me full of a red liquid.
"Thank you, sweetheart" I said in a velvet voice I did not recognized as mine.
Edward smiled at my surprise and gave me the glass. Which I drank with no doubt, it felt so nice… My stomach felt better, when I finished, he filled it up again.
"You'll need enough"
So I smiled and drank, when I was finally done, I looked at him and smiled. "We did it, love" I found myself saying 'love' to him and she laugh hardly.
"Now, now, Bella. Being a vampire doesn't mean you need to be old fashion like me"
"Silly boy" I said before standing and walking into him. It was fast, really fast, I liked it. Then I kissed him, it was the first time we kissed so deeply, loving him as human was something, but as a vampire was completely different, I still loved him with all I was but now I could understand and felt him with me.
"Can you read my mind, now, vampire?" I said seductively.
"No, Bella, we knew—"
"Good" I smirked and kissed him more "Because I'm planning on having a very nice honeymoon"
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Hey! Thanks for reading my first Twilight fanfiction. I know it was large but I hope you had enjoyed it. I'm sorry for all the awful mistakes, English is my second language...
I love reviews by the way! Will you give me your comment?
Jillia