Title: "Over The Corners"
Author: Shaitanah
Rating: PG-13
Timeline: somewhere in the beginning of Season 4
Summary: Some people are destined to be used... After another hypothetic quarrel Clark accidentally reveals his secret to Lex. It was a very rash thing to do. Please R&R!
Disclaimer: 'Smallville' belongs to … Some paragraphs in italics that open the story are a direct quote from Episode 4x04 'Devoted'.
A/N: My first 'Smallville' fanfic. Don't judge too harshly! Feedback veeeery appreciated.
Special thanks: to my wonderful newfound beta Lady Domino!
OVER THE CORNERS
Fear is only in our minds
But it's taking over all the time…
Evanescence. 'Sweet Sacrifice'
"There's a darkness in me that I can't always control", he had said. He had wanted to prove something that was obvious to him and only to him. No matter how much Clark hated to lie to his friends, that face – Lex's face – had told him to go on. "I'm starting to think that's my curse, why every relationship I have ends badly".
"We all have a dark side, Lex", Clark had replied solemnly.
"Yeah, but I can feel mine creeping over the corners. Friendship helps keep it at bay. It
reminds me that there are truly good people in the world. I'm not willing to give up on that…"
Staring at the empty bottle of brandy, Lex kept thinking. The quiet of the mansion disturbed him. He turned the radio up, letting the music wash over him as if giving him the space to breathe. Too much time had gone to waste. Too many problems had been left undecided.
"Am I forgiven?" he asked without turning back as he heard the door burst open. Only one person had a dangerous habit of bursting in without a warning. The infamous Clark Kent.
"I haven't decided yet", Clark mumbled. "I find it harder and harder to trust you. I mean, you're important to me as a friend, Lex, but the way things always are about you and me… You swore you cut your research on me short, but…"
Lex nodded curtly. Another crappy apology to make. Clark drew back to the door hesitantly, he sighed and prepared to walk out. A dim thought blazed through Luthor's mind: What did he come for at all?
It was time. To begin. The game.
"You know, not that I want to shatter that fragile balance we have now but how can you accuse me of lying to you when you're sort of a standard for lies around here?"
A huge grin came upon Lex's face. No way back. He started it. He attacked and he would fish the secret out of Kent whatever it would take! He just hoped Kent wouldn't understand that all this time Lex would be…
"At least I never got into your life that close and personal!" Clark fired. He halted abruptly, but he didn't look at his friend. Lex noticed keenly that his eyes were directed sideways. Clearly, that farm-boy had more to hide than the President of LuthorCorp. almighty! "I don't hurt anyone, Lex", Clark went on in a heated voice.
Lex restrained himslef from a sneer. Come on, for Christ's sake! How about Lana? Or himself? Sometimes he wondered if Clark Kent was truly that little angel everybody was taking him for. Friends weren't supposed to lie to friends. Lies stood for betrayal in the worst kind of way. Angry with both Clark and himself for sinking so low, Lex retorted:
"It's alright if you think it is, isn't it!? It's alright until you personally decide there's something wrong! Look around you! Everybody hates you, Clark. Lana is afraid, she despises you because everything you touch rots! Chloe seriously believes you have split personalities. Shall I continue?"
"Are you talking about me or about yourself?"
Lex chuckled bitterly. "There's no need to hide from me. I already know".
Clark froze. Judging by the look in his eyes, Lex hit the mark.
"You do?" he asked cautiously.
Lex nodded. It was getting harder and harder to maintain the calmest façade as he felt he was getting closer to the truth.
"How long have you known?" Clark asked.
"For a while. But it's no big deal, is it? I mean Smallville's swarming with people who are not entirely… normal".
Now that he actually said it, he wondered if that was the case. Apparently, yes. Clark's face shone with almost inhuman mixture of emotions. Astonishment emerged, outrun by anger and despair, wild panic beat them all – and finally, Lex could swear, a twinkle of happiness made an appearance. It went out quickly, replaced by Clark's usual friendly-blank expression.
"I don't know what you're talking about", he mumbled at a loss.
Oh no! Lex wanted to shake that pointless denial out of Clark!
"Those meteor rocks affect people in the most peculiar ways", he suggested, "we already know that. You're not the only one. I don't understand: why hide it from me? Am I not reliable enough? Honestly, Clark, I didn't come to this town yesterday, I've seen a lot of weirdos around here–!"
"Yeah", Clark snorted, "but not all of them were from outer space".
"Whatever, it's absolutely irrelevant!" Lex cut off.
He poured himself another drink. The knowledge of his victory had not been fully impressed upon him yet but he was already willing to accept it. Clark's secret… finally revealed to him in this brief moment of his own deception. The very foundation of their mutual mistrust, the line that divided them, the glass wall – and suddenly a moment of horrible realization.
He was mistaken.
Lex dropped the glass. Amber liquid splashed on the expensive carpet.
The young man turned around and faced his friend. Not a word had been said yet something in the room had changed.
"You didn't know, did you?"
"I was bluffing", Lex said in a muffled voice. "Clark, listen to me…"
Kent chose not to. He stormed out of the room, overwhelmed by confusion. As soon as he was sure Luthor could not follow him, he ran home. Chilly breath of air cooled him off a bit. Panic subsided only to heighten again as he rushed into the house, short of breath (it never happened before but the thought of having told Lex the truth was so unbelievably frightening, yet relieving…)
"Clark, what's wrong?" his mother asked.
He glared at her, so beautiful and young despite her years, wearing her traditional apron, fresh from cooking.
"Mom", he wheezed, "something bad has just happened…"
Martha ended up in front of him in a blink of an eye. Clark smiled: sometimes he thought she could use the speed of light, too. Martha reached out to touch his cheek lovingly.
"Tell me what it is. You're not hurt, are you?"
"I'm fine, Mom. And I didn't hurt anyone else! It's just… Lex knows my secret".
She gasped and shut her mouth with her hand. A million thoughts flashed through her eyes. Clark hastened to calm her down.
"It's alright, Mom! He took it a lot easier than I did". He smirked at that. 'Course he did – he wanted to know so desperately, not even knowing what he wanted to know. Confusing, yes.
Martha looked at him disapprovingly. "Why on earth did you tell him? Are you sure you can trust him?"
"I'm not", Clark replied moodily. "But at least he can trust me now…" Oh-oh, that was so relieving! "He tricked me into spilling it! We sorta started to discuss it and when I mentioned the Krypton thing…"
Clark trailed off. He looked devastated. Martha took his hand and compressed his fingers in the most loving manner, feeling her heart ache for him. All these years she dreaded the moment would come when someone tried to take her special boy away. She had always sympathized with young Luthor – a lot more than Jonathan had. But now she was afraid.
"You should have seen him", Clark went on. She knew how he longed to be accepted for what he truly was. Another dream dwelt in his heart along with the dream to be like everybody else – the dream to find understanding.
Lex. Of all people, Clark dreamt of it, Lex could be the one to appreciate him.
"I'm not even human".
Martha slapped him lightly. "Don't say so! You are more human than most people I know".
"I have to go back", said Clark.
A sting of fear jolted through Martha's heart. "No, Clark! If it's true… If he really believed you… You should run away from him and never see him again. You never know what he might attempt to do".
"If it works out with him", Clark said quietly, "it might work out with Lana".
He sped off. Martha dropped her hand, looking at the empty place where her son had just been standing. He ran like wind. She could never catch up with him even if she wanted to.
The grand mansion bathed in the scarlet rays of the setting sun in all its splendour. Brandy that tasted like liquid fire flowed into Lex with every forced gulp. He couldn't help but go on drinking, torn between the horror and the delight of Clark's incredible revelation.
From outer space… That made him even more valuable. He was, after all, an alien.
The said alien came in. Lex regarded his athletic figure in the door gap. 'Let's hope telepathy isn't one of his strong sides', he concluded – Clark looked really menacing, by the way. But then again, dazed by alcohol mingled with that intoxicating triumph of his, Lex hoped for a brief moment that Kent would demonstrate his powers.
But the boy was just standing there, not daring move an inch.
"Get lost, Clark", Lex muttered in a hoarse voice. "I have a lot on mind thanks to you".
"So did Pete", Clark murmured.
Pete? What Pete? Lex strained his memory. Oh, Clark's annoying, mistrustful classmate that had an unrequited crush on Chloe Sullivan. For Christ's sake, the School of Broken Hearts! A worm of jealousy unfolded in Lex's heart. So that little freak had a right to know though he could never do any of the things for Clark that Lex Luthor could!
Lex's face darkened. Lucky for the guy, he moved to another city.
"I had to tell him", Clark justified himself. "He kept my secret but then he… ah, freaked out. And believe me, he had perfectly understandable reasons for that. I didn't want to lie to you, Lex. I didn't tell you that because you were my friend".
Oh, how prudent of you! Clark Kent had excuse for every blunder, the whole pack of them.
Lex turned his back on the boy to hide his face, touched by contempt and excitement. He was so angry he could have tried to kill Clark on the spot but somehow he doubted bullets would hurt him enough to make him understand.
"So what can you do?" Lex asked. Burning inside, he made a sour face as if willing to say: Naw, I don't really care but you may tell me if you like.
He bent his head slightly to show that grimace to Clark but the youth was no longer there. Astounded, Lex span about, his eyes wide open, fear and joy filling them at once. Finally he spotted Clark by the window.
"I–. I didn't hear you move".
Clark ended up too close to him. "Noone does. It's the speed of light. Well, I'm not sure how fast I can move".
Lex poked him and was relieved when his finger touched solid flesh covered in habitual checkered fabric (he never mentioned it but, damn, Clark had an awful sense of style!). For a second he thought it was some ethereal creature standing before him, an astral projection of the real Clark that had never left the spot by the door.
"Wow, that's…" All the words had seeped away. Everything dimmed before the grandeur of this discovery.
"I guess you already know about my strength and practical invulnerability", Clark whispered. "Oh, and Lex, someone's by the door. He's gonna come in right… now".
A loud knock followed. Lex had only the time to notice Clark wasn't present anymore. 'We should finish later', he told himself and put his usual half-smile on to greet another important partner of LuthorCorp.
Some things were best when left unchanged. And nothing ever really changed here. The Kents' barn was still the safest place in the world, clogged by the thickest smell of hay, sparkling stars visible through the giant window under the roof.
Lex found Clark sitting on the couch, staring blankly at the sky. His powerful telescope was pointed there too. Lex smiled gently. Gone were the days when Lana used to live on the far side of the imaginary direct line that began at that telescope and ended by her house.
"So there is life on Mars, isn't it?" he teased.
"I don't know what you're talking about", a determined response came.
Lex allowed himself to have a seat and tried to look his friend in the eye. Some people let their chances slip away. That definitely wouldn't describe Lex Luthor.
"What planet are you from, then?"
Play dumb. Of course, there is no life on Mars! The closest thing is those tiny bacteria and the remnants of water scientists had discovered. But the alien right next to him could not be mistaken for a micro-organism.
That caused Clark to laugh. "You didn't seriously think I was from Mars, did you?"
Lex shrugged: guilty as charged. "Oh, you never know with those alien guys, I'm not a specialist!" The icy tension melted away. Clark looked directly at Lex, some strange amusement flashed in his deep, beautiful eyes. It must have been a relief to speak your mind… especially after he was once again alone. Somehow Lex did find some compassion.
"Can I ask you a number of really stupid questions that might clear the situation a bit for me?"
Clark smiled, puzzled. "Shoot".
"O-okay. Where are you from?"
"It's a remote planet, you've never heard of it".
Check.
Lex reached out to feel Clark's face. He was surprised the youth didn't draw back. The touch turned out moderate, caressing; Clark tensed under Lex's cold fingers. Maybe Lex expected to peel the skin off of his friend's face, to discover an ugly green triangular snout underneath that alabaster cover.
"Is it your real face?" he asked, slightly taken aback.
"Well, yes, as far as I know", Clark snorted. "Lex, I'm human! I don't have eight hearts or, you know, green blood. I'm just a regular guy…"
"…from a regular far-away inhabited planet, I see".
They shared a tentative moment of silence, engrossed in the thoughts of their own. Plans within plans – as it had always been for Lex Luthor. He glared at Clark's solemn, flawless face and fought a moment of hesitation.
Lies cannot be forgiven.
Lex got up and shook Clark's hand maybe a bit too formally. "Well, I think, now we are even. I can't say I expected that from you, Clark. Friends?"
A sincere smile appeared on Kent's face. It was almost painful to observe that face change. Lex asked himself again: Why do you want to hurt him? Did he ever hurt you?
Yes, he did! And yes, he will pay!
With that he smiled back at Clark, not letting his mask slip and reveal what was on his mind. He left the barn with the freezing mixture of joy and regret. He couldn't find the proper words to justify his actions – no, only thoughts yet, only plans.
"Some people are destined to be used", Lex said quietly.
And who, other than him, had a better use for Clark Kent, the farm-boy from the remote planet?
November, 2006