THE INTERROGATOR STRIKES
A GIJOE STORY
Cobra Commander scowled behind his blue hood as he sat on his snake-coiled throne watching a web of CCTV monitors that showed his troopers in the main hanger bay of his Cobra base of operations. They were dozens of his best Viper troops, all aligned in perfectly straight lines and in uniform, and armed, as if ready for immediate battle. He had said that he was going to make an announcement and it was mandatory that everyone attend.
But at the moment he was in his War Room and all of his top staff surrounded a large Arthurian table. Gazing away from the monitors, he addressed them.
"Whoever said victory is a palpable endeavour is a fool. We are fighting a battle on two fronts: One against GIJOE and the other with Destro and his Iron Grenadiers. And when we finally gain a successful foothold against one, the other swoops in and strips it away from us. They must be stopped at all costs!"
And his officers agreed, nodding.
Cobra Commander crossed his arms over his chest, and for the first time in days, smiled. Not a pleasant smile, but one of pride. Despite most of his high command abandoning him for other more profitable ventures, he still managed to keep Cobra alive. For the time being, that is.
His funds were running low, but despite this, there were still people out there that believed in a greater cause. He was trying to create a new utopia, a new world order where the "little guy" came out on top. It was harder now than ever before, but he refused to quit.
"The world will be ours!" he bellowed out.
"HAIL COBRA! HAIL COBRA!" his officers shouted with Nazi-like pride.
"You are dismissed."
Short, but sweet…and yet they were merely "Yes men". But he was glad for once he didn't have Destro or the Crimson Twins or even Dr. Mindbender questioning his orders. And thank heavens Sepentor was dead!
Cobra Commander leaned back in his throne and watched as his command officers broke up, and left the War Room. Putting a closed fist to his cheek and leaning on an elbow, he twitched the fingers on his other hand in an anxious manner, and viewed other monitors that were brimming with world news reports. He wasn't pleased. Unified militant forces with the help of GIJOE were defeating his troops with little effort nowadays. It wouldn't be long before GIJOE was knocking on his front door here in one of his last strongholds.
He needed to strengthen security at the base.
He pressed a button on his chair. "Get me Major Bludd," he ordered a Viper, who responded via a computer console in the main Operations Center, and the call was put through. The transmission would be projected via holographic display in the middle of the Arthurian table.
Major Bludd's head floated above the table, and he opened his mouth to say something…
Suddenly it was interrupted by a man Cobra Commander knew far too well. He stood up and faced the image of Destro with his gold plated mask. Destro smiled with a sinister grin. "You have some nerve breaking through my comm lines, Destro!" the leader of Cobra demanded.
"Problematic, Cobra Commander," Destro replied. "But I have a pressing matter to discuss with you. If you haven't already done so today, check your bank accounts in Switzerland, Cuba and Madrid. If I recall they contain the bulk of Cobra's finances."
Cobra Commander used controls on his chair to do so, bringing the information up on a monitor close to him, and in a matter of moments his account statements popped-up on a screen, and they all read zero funds. "No! It can't be! You swindler! Return my money now or I'll send a legion of my best troops to your very door!"
"And perhaps with a little cash thrown their way they will join my Iron Grenadiers? You have neither the money nor the moxie to back up your threats, Cobra is done. But I will give you a sporting chance. Meet me at these coordinates and we will discuss my terms."
Directional coordinates scrolled at the bottom of the holographs image, and Cobra's computer system instantly determined their vector.
"Paris, France...in the underground tunnels of Musee des Egouts? Why there? And fall right into an ambush? How stupid do you take me for, Destro?"
"If you don't meet me, then say good-bye to your hopes and dreams of world domination."
Cobra Commander quickly mulled it over and growled with displeasure. "Terms accepted, Destro. This transmission ends now!" Cobra Commander slammed the arm of his chair to end the transmission and the image went blank. "If he thinks he can lure me into a trap then he's sadly mistaken. I'll make Destro pay for what he has done."
He cancelled his announcement and ordered a jet be prepared for immediately take off.
An hour later, Cobra Commander arrived in Paris, France, with half a dozen Viper troops, and entered the renown sewers of Musee des Egouts. The sewers were now a museum, but they were once used as caverns for fleeing Jews who prayed for a better life from the senseless slavery under Ancient Roman rule. The remains of their presence could still be seen on the sewer walls. There were frescos of everyday life and human bones shaped the catacombs. Up to 25,000 skulls adorned the walls.
With two Vipers at his side using flashlights and armed, Cobra Commander wished he had brought a camera to photograph the glorious history. It reminded him of why he formed Cobra. Rule under an iron fist, create the perfect template, and power will fall right into your hands, that was his thinking. Crush the weak and the world will be yours. With every ruler there are always rebels, but even these resilient Jew slaves were no match for the power that was Ancient Rome. Rome's rule lasted for nearly two millennia.
He met Destro at the desired coordinates in the catacombs. And like he thought Destro brought reinforcements. Voltar was with him adorned in his golden armour. He was the General of the Iron Grenadiers. And no doubt Iron Grenadiers were located in the catacombs, too. But that was perfectly fine with him because he had also brought back-up, hiding within the catacombs ready to attack at his command.
"I'm here, Destro, and I want my money back now!"
"You insufferable swine! How dare play the fool with me. Where is my wife?" Destro demanded, aiming a pistol at him. Destro was notorious for his temper and it obviously took every ounce of personal restraint to hold back from firing in the catacombs.
But Cobra Commander's two Vipers held Destro at bay with their rifles posed on him.
"The Baroness? Come now, Destro. If you can't keep that harlot of a wife of yours on a leash, then that's your problem. I've come to get my money back. When this is over, you're going to regret stealing anything from me! Now where is my money?"
"What money? Where's my wife?"
"Don't play stupid with me, Destro! I'm not in the mood!"
Suddenly they heard laughter from a nearby tunnel and each turned.
"Temper, temper, my friends…your aggressive tendencies will be your downfall." A man dressed totally in black armour, helmeted to disguise his true identity, exited from a tunnel with the Baroness in hand, tied and gagged. He clutched her tightly, aiming a pistol at her temple.
It was the Interrogator, or that was his non de plume.
He was known by that moniker because he could extract any information from a person's mind with his skills. He had been Cobra's best interrogation officer. But years ago he was cast out of Cobra when he was caught selling classified secrets and selling them to the drug kingpin known as Headman. Cobra Commander also harboured a deep hatred for the man, because Interrogator had helped Dr. Mindbender gather DNA samples from ancient depots to clone Serpentor. He was the last person Cobra Commander thought he would see here.
"Interrogator, you traitorous bastard! I thought I killed you?"
"Obviously not, or didn't you notice when your assassins hadn't returned? You are so gullible! A simple comm telling you I had been killed was all it took for you believe a lie, and even though your men never returned, you never gave it a second thought that you had been tricked. And even now, sending each of you a mock communication of the other demanding you to meet the other here, means you two are still the gullible fools you've always been."
"You sent the communication?" Cobra Commander hissed. "Where is my money?"
"Your money is quite safe, Cobra Commander. It's in my bank account. Hacking into your accounts was child's play." Interrogator laughed. "And as for you, Destro, your pretty little wife here is quite a handful. She put up a real struggle when I snagged her from your Castle in Trans-Carpathia. But after a little chloroform, she went right to sleep like a baby. Now she seems to have perked up a little." The Baroness struggled against Interrogator's grip, but to no avail.
"Anastasia…Are you all right?" Destro asked the Baroness.
"Such a lovely name," Interrogator said. "And all this time I could've been calling you that instead of something else…"
"Let her go, Interrogator!" Destro demanded.
"Or what Destro? You'll kill me? You and Cobra Commander think a lot in many ways. You thought I was too dangerous because I knew too much about you, Laird James McCullen Destro XXIV. Your family ancestry was hidden in secrecy, but I know it all. You haven't been telling the truth about it, traitor. I'm not known as the Interrogator for nothing. An ancestor of yours was a weapons manufacture but sold to both warring sides. When this was learned, your ancestor was forced to wear that mask as punishment, hence this 'tradition' was passed down. Mostly these days people wear masks to disguise their true identities…"
"I wear this mask proudly, Interrogator. We all wear masks."
"How very profound, Destro," Interrogator said, "but nonetheless traditionally redundant in these turbulent days of war and capitalism."
"How did you survive?"
"I narrowly escaped an aerial assault by your Annihilator unit when they attacked me where I was hiding out. What an interesting strategy having your men attack from one-man helicopters, but then again you always did have an inventive mind. Cobra Commander was wise to want your expertise, to build his WMD's to try to conquer the world in the name of the "little guy"—those people who get crushed underfoot by political ambition and Wall Street tycoons. But now as you two struggle for world domination, you two still can't attain separately what you came close to attaining when you were a collective. With strength comes power, remember that."
"Get to the point, Interrogator," Cobra Commander said.
A small device in Cobra Commander's pocket silently vibrated telling him a certain someone had slipped secretly into the network of tunnels. He had requested the man attend, giving him a call while en route. He was a man who thrived in this type of environment. The man was alerting him of his success. And hopefully the man had had brought his little pet with him.
"My point, Cobra Commander," Interrogator continued, "is that I intend to put an end to this pathetic power struggle once and for all. I have planted bombs throughout these catacombs and they are set to detonate at my command. My life is over. Bounty hunters hunt me down because of the price you both have placed on my head. I'm never at peace from the constant bombardment of enemy attacks. So in retaliation for your repeated attempts on my life, I'm giving you the honour of dying with me and to join the thousands of dead Jews buried here. We can all be permanent residents together."
"You're insane, Interrogator!" Cobra Commander said.
"My death is a small price to pay if I can kill the both of you."
"Is revenge all this is?" Destro said.
"I thought you smarter than this, Destro," Interrogator said. "I stole strategic secrets from Cobra to sell them off to the highest bidder. And Headman just happened to be the person I got the funds to accomplish this final maneuver. Explosives are expensive, you know. You just can't buy them on the internet without someone noticing. You see, during a dogfight over San Francisco, some time ago, and after Cobra had kidnapped a group of scientists and demanded one billion dollars for their release, a Night Raven missile went astray as it fired upon a one of GIJOE Conquest in flight. The explosion destroyed a series of houses along the San Francisco Bay coastline. My home was one of them. And my wife and son were killed as they slept. That is the grudge I have with you, Cobra Commander. And as for you Destro, you've cost me a lot of money over the years, constantly attacking my drug cartels. Now you can both die with me like my family did in your pathetic wars with your ashes spread throughout these catacombs. My only regret is that my ashes will be disgustingly mixed with yours for all eternality."
Like a lightning strike, a leather whip snapped from behind Interrogator and wrapped around his neck. Interrogator let go of the Baroness and grabbed for the whip that tightened around his throat. The Baroness ran over to Destro and into his arms.
"Ah, finally…" Cobra Commander said. "Welcome to the party, Croc Master."
Croc Master emerged from the darkness of the tunnel behind Interrogator wearing crocodile-like skinned clothing and a mask/breathing tube. He said he enjoy emulating crocodiles and his attire helped him to interact with them in the swamps and dank, murky environments. He was a very big man, muscularly, and the Interrogator dwarfed him. Croc Master pulled the whip taut like wrangling a crocodile, and from behind him, the man's pet crocodile approached with jaws open, trained to obey Croc Master's every command.
"Let me go!" Interrogator said with bated breath.
"I'm afraid not," Cobra Commander said, and went over. "There's little I can say to Croc Master that will make him release one of his prey without ample compensation. He doesn't like to lose, and neither do I. And his pet crocodile looks very hungry." The crocodile roared. But with a single sound from Croc Master, the giant amphibian backed off. "Now, where is my money? And no tricks or Croc Master will feed you to his pet."
Croc Master let up on the whip to allow Interrogator to speak.
"PO908-36489-Y757; that is my account in Switzerland," Interrogator said quickly. Also giving him the specific bank.
A Viper handed Cobra Commander a computer pad, and he found the website of the bank in Switzerland (one of many), and he accessed the bank inventory index, found the account, and then did a quick transfer of all funds, including some additional ones that were Interrogator's own private reserves, emptying it.
"Thank you," Cobra Commander said handing the pad to the same Viper, "and now, for the explosives? Can you deactivate them?"
"The control box is on my belt," Interrogator said, "the blue button deactivates them."
Croc Master plucked an alphanumerical control box from Interrogator's belt and tossed it to Cobra Commander; he caught it with both hands. He opened the protective clear casing covering the buttons. There was a blue button and a red button aside an alphanumerical panel. Interrogator had told him to deactivate the explosives he must press the blue button. But Cobra Commander pressed the red button instead. Immediately the tunnels echoed with the sounds of clicks of explosives disarming themselves.
Interrogator cried, "No…."
"Nice try, but I'm not so gullible as you think I am," Cobra Commander said. "Hoping I would be the triggerman of my own destruction? You take me for a fool, Interrogator. I've known you for far too long to fall prey to any of your manipulative tricks. You want to end your life? I'm more than happy to grant you your wish. He's yours Croc Master."
"No…Wait!"
Interrogator plunked a knife from a thigh holster and cut through the whip, then stabbed Croc Master in the arm. He then escaped the massive man and fled down a tunnel. Croc Master yanked out the knife, and growled. Croc Master ran in pursuit, his pet in tow. Cobra Commander thought of calling him back, but once Croc Master's mind was set on something, stopping him was next to impossible. Best let the man murder Interrogator his own way. And be rid of him.
Cobra Commander turned to Destro. The Baroness was free and Voltar was now pointing his rifle at Cobra Commander.
"All is back to the way it was before, Destro," Cobra Commander said unafraid. He knew Voltar would not shot unless Destro wished it.
"Indeed, Commander," Destro agreed. "But Interrogator did have the right idea. You are a menace, and killing you would be a blessing upon the world. Perhaps I'll undertake that now."
Suddenly, the sounds of weapon's cocking were heard in the catacombs all around them, Cobra Night Vipers has secretly positioned themselves within the tunnels.
Cobra Commander laughed.
Destro cleared his throat, out-maneuvered, and put a hand to Voltar's rifle, pushing it down.
"Clever move," Destro said. "How did your Night Vipers manage to outfox my Iron Grenadiers? They are aptly named, Night Vipers. With consideration, we shall both leave in peace because we were duped into coming here."
"Agreed. But think about this, Destro. We have the same goal in mind. Why not pull our resources once again and rule the world?"
"Intriguing proposition, Cobra Commander, but highly unlikely, and my reasons are clear. You manipulated my MARS Corporation for your foolish whims, and when it suited you best you tried to have me killed and my corporation destroyed. We are enemies, Cobra Commander, and never forget that." The sound of several weapon's cocking echoed the catacombs, but this time it was Destro's Iron Grenadiers that covered one Cobra Night Viper. Voltar smiled slyly and Destro knew his General had additional reinforcements at the ready. Cobra Commander stood nervous, but the Iron Grenadier's held their fire. "I will have the world and Cobra will fall," Destro continued. "It's only a matter of time before that becomes a reality. We will leave amicably, my dear Cobra Commander, but next time we meet I'll have your head." Destro addressed his troops. "Leave them unharmed, fall back out of the catacombs. There will be no blood shed senselessly today." Destro looked at Cobra Commander. "Until we meet again, Commander..."
And the trio of Destro, Baroness and Voltar left, and entered an adjacent tunnel.
Cobra Commander clenched a tight fist at his side. "Someday Destro, I will once again have you under my power, and when that day comes, you will obey me unconditionally! Night Vipers, retreat from the catacombs and return to your aircraft."
But as he was leaving, Cobra Commander smiled behind his blue hood. "You're wrong, Destro," he said to himself. "Cobra will be restored back to its former glory, I foresee it. And then Cobra will rule the world!"
He left the catacombs, and returned to his aircraft.
And as he blasted off, he wondered how long it would take Interrogator to die when Croc Master finally caught up to the man?
END