Take Me or Leave Me
"Blaine, you took my history notes again!" Kurt shouted through the phone.
"Wait…what?" Blaine asked sleepily. "I don't think I did, but I guess I could've taken them by mistake," he shrugged.
"Blaine! I need my notes. I need to study."
"Sorry, Kurt. I guess I'll look for them in the morning. Love you."
"No. Blaine, in case you've forgotten, I have history second period. The exam is tomorrow. It's eleven o'clock. Why are you going to sleep so early, anyway?"
"I'm just really tired, okay? When I was at your house, when I packed up my stuff, I probably took your notes by mistake. Calm down. You know this. You'll do fine, even without studying. It's the first test of the school year, so I doubt they'll make it too difficult. This unit was mostly review, anyway," Blaine responded calmly.
"I need to study, Blaine. I need to get an A, and to get an A, I need to study. To study, I need my notes. You have my notes. I cannot study with my notes at your house. Can you bring them over right now?"
"Calm down. It's the middle of the night, I'm half asleep, and I'm not even positive I have your notes. Maybe I can just -"
"No, Blaine," Kurt interrupted, "I need to study now, and if you won't bring me my notes, I am going to drive to your house and come get them myself, which, knowing how your family is, would lead to them being even more paranoid and controlling than usual for the next few weeks. I don't get it. How are they like that? It just doesn't make sense."
"I'm sorry, baby. I don't think they'll let me out of the house so late and your dad wouldn't want you out so late, either, so maybe I can pick you up early tomorrow and you can study on the way to school and in the parking lot," he finished exhaustedly.
"I'm coming over. I need to study," Kurt said finally.
"Okay. I'll be waiting for you," Blaine said tiredly. He knew there was no way to change his boyfriend's mind. Kurt was one of the most obstinate people he had ever met. Once Kurt decided something, there was no changing it. It would happen, no matter how unlikely or inconvenient it seemed. Not that this is a bad thing, Blaine thought, it just makes him a little difficult to be around sometimes, especially when he's freaking out or worried about something.
"Fine. See you when I get there." Kurt had had enough. Everything he did seemed to bother Blaine. He didn't want to bother him, it just seemed that, especially lately, everything he did bothered everyone. When they had first started dating, and lasting throughout most of the summer, Blaine had mostly just adored Kurt and everything he did, not having a problem with anything. He had the most adorable face. He didn't seem to even care what Kurt said, he just nodded lovingly. But lately, things had changed. Once Blaine had announced he would be transferring to McKinley, things had changed slightly. At Dalton, with the advanced curriculums, Blaine had always been studying, but since switching to public school, he had relaxed a lot. He hardly studied and still got good grades, he just didn't worry about it as much. They still loved each other and weren't having any major problems, they just kept having little arguments over everything.
Having just switched back to public school, Blaine wasn't having the easiest of times. He had had to transfer towards the end of his freshman year due to bullying. After a few years of a zero tolerance policy towards bullying, being back in the middle of hundreds of teenagers who all feel that they're better than you because you're gay wasn't going to be fun. With Kurt's help, he had realized how unlike the real world Dalton was. He was going to have to deal with bullying for the rest of his life, so he might as well get used to it now. Especially because he had a boyfriend now, he was scared. People knowing he was gay had been bad enough, but having a boyfriend and everyone knowing you had a boyfriend could make things worse than at his old school. He was scared of what people could do. The main tormentor at McKinley, Karofsky, had stopped bullying and even started the Bully Whips to eliminate bullying. There were still others, however. Most of the football and lacrosse players still slushied the Glee Club, but at least it wasn't as bad as everyone had said it was before.
Kurt was worried, too. He had been forced to leave this school because of bullying the year before. If that had just been for being gay, what could happen when everyone knew he was gay and had a boyfriend?
Kurt grabbed his keys and slipped on a jacket, shouting to his dad that he was going to get something from Blaine and he'd be back in about half an hour. Blaine only lived about fifteen minutes away, fortunately, so it shouldn't take too long. He got in his car and started to drive.
Meanwhile, Blaine got out of bed and went over to his backpack. He pulled out some papers and started looking through them. He wondered why Kurt had been so uptight lately. Especially since school had started, he had been jumpy and even a bit controlling of, well, everything. It could just be the stress of being a senior, but school had never seemed to be that much of a problem for Kurt before. Even when he was at Dalton, which was much more challenging than any public school, he hadn't seemed to need to study very much.
"Well," Blaine thought aloud, "let's find these notes before Kurt gets here and gets even more pissed off about nothing." After a few minutes of digging through papers, he pulled out a few pages covered in Kurt's handwriting. He smiled. Blaine really, really loved Kurt. Everything about him. Even when he got upset and bothered by every little thing, he was still adorable.
Kurt pulled into Blaine's driveway. He got out of his car and pulled out his phone, calling Blaine to let him know he was there. After ringing a few times, Blaine answered.
"Hey! You here? I'm walking down the stairs holding your notes. See you in about eleven seconds." After that brief one-sided conversation, he promptly hung up. Kurt frowned, annoyed that Blaine hadn't allowed him to get a single word in. For all he knew, Kurt could be at his house and could have decided not to come after all. A second later, the door swung open.
"Hi," Blaine said lovingly. "Here are your notes. You really don't need to study. You'll do fine."
"Thanks," Kurt replied curtly. "I'll see you tomorrow." He started to walk away, when Blaine grabbed his arm.
"Kurt," he said, "I really love you, okay?"
Kurt gave a small smile, a bit confused as to why Blaine had felt the need to restate something they both knew was very true.
"I love you, too. I have to go study now," Kurt said. He was getting tired.
"Okay. Um…bye." Blaine closed the door and blushed. He didn't know why he had said that. He knew Kurt knew he loved him, he just wanted to remind him.
Kurt gave one last bewildered look at Blaine's front door and walked back to his car. As he drove home, he wondered about what Blaine had been thinking when he said that. He had seemed almost nervous, as if he felt that Kurt wouldn't believe him. Suddenly, Kurt paled. Did Blaine have a reason to believe he wouldn't believe him? He shook his head, assuming he was just overtired and should stop worrying for now.
The next day, Kurt was waiting in the kitchen when Blaine pulled into his driveway. He picked up his backpack and walked out the door and into Blaine's car.
"Hi Kurt!" Blaine shouted cheerfully.
"Oh god. Did you have an extra coffee?" Kurt was not a morning person. He had no idea how Blaine managed to be so cheerful so early in the morning.
"No…I just…um…" Blaine responded nervously.
"Calm down. What's wrong?" Kurt asked.
"Nothing. I just…last night. You seemed really…it seemed like I kept annoying you and I really don't want to annoy you and I want to apologize for anything I did," Blaine said hurriedly.
Kurt gave him a bewildered look.
"Sorry if I was pissy last night. I'm just worried about this history test. I'm not mad at you. Now I'm going to study more." Kurt brushed off what Blaine had said without a second thought.
In Glee Club, Kurt and Blaine sat next to each other, as usual. Everyone was talking about things of no importance, just passing the time until Mr. Schue came in and excitedly announced their lesson. He came in, and after a minute or two, the class quieted down.
"Okay, guys. Here is this week's lesson." He walked over to the whiteboard, picked up a marker, and wrote, "Duets."
"Wait…haven't we done duets like every month?" Finn asked.
"Yeah," Mercedes added, "what's so special about this week's duets?"
"This week, everyone will pick a partner to sing with, and then," he paused, assuming his students would find this as exciting as he did, "you will be randomly assigned a song!" He smiled at his big finish.
"Mr. Schue, if I may," Kurt spoke up skeptically, "if songs are being assigned randomly, there is a good chance some of our voices won't fit the song we're assigned very well. What are you going to do about that?"
Mr. Schue frowned, thought for a moment, and went back to his normal over-cheerful self. "Do your best! If your voice doesn't fit the song, change it up a bit. You're all talented kids. I'm sure you'll be able to do anything I throw at you," he said confidently. "All right! Three minutes to partner up, then you'll be picking a song out of a hat."
Kurt and Blaine shared a look, knowing that they would be dueting today. Kurt smiled as he thought of how perfectly their voices fit together. He looked around at the other pairs. Everything was going as expected, for the most part. Finn and Rachel, Mike and Tina, Mercedes and Sam, and Santana and Brittany. There were a few new kids in Glee this year, so this should be a good early experience for them.
"All righty then! Is everyone set? Okay! First up, Finn and Rachel." He held out his hat as they walked up and Rachel pulled out a small slip of paper.
"Sixteen Going On Seventeen!" she shouted excitedly. Finn looked around, somewhat confused. "It's from The Sound of Music, Finn. Remember when we watched that?"
A light bulb flashed above his head as he said, "Oh. Yeah. I remember that." They walked back to their seats as Kurt thought about this. If the first song had been from one of his favourite musicals of all time, what would the others be?
"All right! Kurt and Blaine, you're next!" Mr. Schue shouted.
"And remember, if your song isn't er…doesn't use the pronouns that fit you, feel free to switch them."
The two walked up to the front of the class, and Blaine reached into the hat and pulled out a slip of paper. He unfolded it and they both looked eagerly.
"Take Me Or Leave Me," Blaine read. There was no emotion in his voice, and his face was also blank. Kurt smiled, remembering when they had gone to see RENT. It had been before they started dating, which seemed like ages ago now.
As they went back to their seats, Mercedes spoke up.
"Mr. Schue, me and Rachel sang that last year. Shouldn't we be doing new songs?"
"Mercedes, Kurt and Blaine weren't even here then," Rachel interrupted. "It shouldn't be a problem. Besides, their voices are different from ours, so I'm sure they'll put a unique spin on it. Mr. Schue nodded, agreeing with Rachel.
"Wait…" Finn thought aloud, "Isn't that a song for two girls? Kurt and Blaine are both boys."
"Finn, I'm pretty sure we've gone over this enough times," Kurt retorted exasperatedly. Honestly, how many times were they going to have this discussion in Glee Club? "It's just a song. Anyone can sing it, no matter their gender." Finn nodded, remembering all the times this had happened before.
As everyone else got their song assignments, Blaine worried. This was an argument song, even a breakup song. He and Kurt had been arguing, even if they weren't major arguments, but still, if they had to sing a song like this in front of everyone, would anything happen? He knew it was just a song, but it could still impact anyone's thinking.
After everyone had received their assignments, Mr. Schue told them that they would start performing the songs tomorrow, going in the same order as they had been assigned, so Kurt and Blaine would be second.
"I guess I'll take Maureen's part and you can have Joanne's," Kurt decided. This should be a fun assignment, he thought. A bit difficult to work out because of his incredibly high voice, but it's a fun song, nonetheless.
"Sure," Blaine answered absently. Kurt quickly looked up from the sheet music.
"Sure? That's all you have to say?" he asked irritatedly.
"I guess? I'm sorry. I just haven't had the best day," Blaine answered. He wasn't lying, he hadn't had a good day. But he still didn't see what he had done wrong.
"You're not going to give me any sort of response other than blindly agreeing?"
"I'm sorry! I just didn't really see any other way for it to work. You have a much higher voice than I do, so you should clearly get the part of the song for the person with a higher voice. I didn't think I needed to give a more elaborate response because it's kind of obvious to me which parts we'll be taking."
Kurt shrugged, still tense. They should start working on this. Getting the basics down would take the majority of the class, so they would need to meet up after school to perfect everything.
"Perfecting this will probably take longer than we have here," Kurt said, "so do you want to come over to my house after school? I don't have much other work to do today."
After thinking for a moment, Blaine replied, "Sure. I don't have too much homework and I don't have anything to study for. By the way, how did your history test go?"
"It was fine," Kurt answered.
"I'm assuming you didn't need to study as much as you did. Am I right?"
"You were probably right, but I needed to study more than I had when I realized you took my notes," he responded edgily.
After a few seconds of silence, Blaine asked, "Are you all right? It's just that you seem really tense and I've been worrying about you."
"I'm fine. Speaking of worrying, is everything okay with you? You've been much quieter than usual. Is everything with your family going well?" He said this with genuine concern, the first time that day his voice had shown anything besides being tense and preoccupied.
"Everything with my family is no worse than usual," Blaine laughed, "I just have a lot on my mind, I guess. Getting used to a new school and all." He waved his hand, gesturing to everything different from the private school he had spent the last few years in.
Kurt nodded. Before spending a few months at Dalton, he hadn't known how different the schools could be. Dalton had been more challenging and bullying hadn't been a problem. Unfortunately, that wasn't what the real world was like. His family didn't have the money for private school, either. At least Karofsky, who had kissed him and threatened to kill him, was getting better. There was even a chance he would come out by the end of the year. And Kurt had friends here. Sure, he'd made friends at Dalton, but he hadn't gotten close to anyone besides Blaine, who had been everyone's friend, but hadn't seemed close with anyone, either. Here, he had Mercedes, who he had instantly bonded with when first meeting her, and Rachel, who had gone from nothing but annoying to actually a valuable friend. Everyone in Glee Club was family. Especially Finn, who was his stepbrother, but everyone always stuck up for each other and would do almost anything to help out.
The next day, Kurt drove up Blaine's driveway and waited for him to come out. He didn't have anything important happening in any classes today, except for their performance of Take Me or Leave Me in Glee Club. Blaine opened the passenger seat door and smiled as he got in.
"Hey," Blaine said. "Looking forward to our duet today?"
"Of course," Kurt replied unenthusiastically. He hadn't slept enough. He was going to be in a bad mood today, he could already tell. He could only hope no one would choose to slushie him or throw him in a dumpster when he was like this. He hoped that wouldn't affect his performance. The rest of the ride passed in silence, as Blaine knew not to bother Kurt when he was tired.
As they walked to their lockers, fortunately in the same hallway, Azimio and a few of his minions walked up to them, emptying large cups of blue slush onto their faces and clothes.
"Sorry about your makeup, ladies!" Azimio shouted. "Oh wait. I forgot. I'm not sorry." The football players walked away laughing.
"I'm sorry you have such a poor memory that you can't even comprehend your feelings correctly," Kurt shouted back. Blaine snickered despite being covered in blue liquid. He was lucky to have Kurt as his boyfriend.
Kurt angrily stormed to the bathroom, Blaine quickly following. Today was not his day. He had learned to always carry extra clothes in school after three years of being constantly slushied. They hurriedly cleaned themselves off and rushed to their lockers, then to their separate classes.
The rest of the day passed quickly, until it was time for Glee Club. Everyone entered the class and quickly went to their seats, excited for the songs that were to be performed that day. Mr. Schue walked in a short while later and silenced the excited buzz in the room.
"All right everybody! Who's ready for these duets?" he cried.
The class cheered, as everyone was truly excited for this assignment. Everyone, that is, besides Blaine, who couldn't help but worry. Lately, everything had been getting to him. If there was a chance something could go wrong, he assumed it would. He hadn't been like this before. He had been Dalton's cheery and friendly lead singer whom everyone loved. At McKinley, he had so much more than grades and singing to worry about. All of the stress was taking a toll on him. He hadn't been as good a boyfriend to Kurt as he had been before. Then again, Kurt hadn't exactly been a trophy boyfriend lately, either. Neither was being a bad boyfriend, they just weren't getting along perfectly anymore.
Blaine came out of his worried stupor when he realized Kurt had been trying to get his attention.
"Blaine!" Kurt whispered as he poked at Blaine's side.
Blaine looked up, startled, and responded, "Sorry. I must have zoned out."
"You sure did," Kurt replied with a tone of annoyance in his voice. "Are you sure our song is completely ready? Finn and Rachel are about to start and we're next. Please at least try to remain conscious until we finish."
"I'm sorry. I just haven't been able to sleep lately. Tired."
Kurt responded with a look of concern. "Should you see a doctor?"
"No," Blaine answered, "it's nothing to worry about."
"All right," Kurt said skeptically, "but if you have any reason to think you need help, you are going to see a doctor." As he finished his sentence, the opening of Sixteen Going on Seventeen played. Finn and Rachel's performance went well, as was expected. Blaine yawned and stretched his arms, to which Kurt snapped, "What are you doing?"
Blaine responded with a start. "I just stretched and yawned."
"Try not to seem like you're about to fall asleep. You're being rude."
"Could you please give me a break?" Blaine lashed out. "I haven't exactly been having the time of my life these past few weeks, and you could at least stop picking at every little thing I do." His face showed that he instantly regretted saying that, but there was no way to take it back.
Kurt looked shocked. From anyone besides Blaine, something like this would have come as no surprise. He knew he could be a bit controlling, but Blaine. Blaine had never said anything like this before.
"Excuse me?" he asked.
Blaine panicked. He didn't mean that. Sure, Kurt hadn't been the easiest person to be around lately, but what he said had been too harsh. Kurt, of all people, definitely didn't deserve that.
"I am so sorry," was the only thing he could think to say.
"Is that how you feel about me? That I act like every little thing you do bothers me? For your information, I'm sure I'm not the only person with characteristics that get on other people's nerves. You're certainly one to speak. Lately, you've hardly been talking to me. Hell, since school started, you've stopped texting me back half the time and you rarely answer your phone when I call. What is it with you? I'm getting tired of this. If you don't even want to talk to me, why the heck are you dating me?"
Blaine was crushed. The one person whose opinions he valued over everyone else's found him annoying. This wasn't even completely Blaine. This was Blaine under a lot of stress, constantly worrying about bullying and being one of the two openly gay kids in the entire school, worrying that because he and Kurt were dating and everyone knew, it could make things worse. Now his boyfriend was asking why he was even dating him.
"Kurt, I didn't mean that," Blaine began. "I've just been so stressed out lately that-" Before he could finish, Kurt interrupted.
"No. Tell me why you're dating me. If you find so much about me annoying, then why are we dating?"
Blaine's heart was breaking. He had never wanted this to happen. The only thing he could think to say was, "Because I love you," but before he could say it aloud, the song finished and everyone began clapping.
"Kurt and Blaine?" Mr. Schue said, "You're up now."
"Were you two just fighting?" Quinn asked confusedly.
"We were not fighting," Kurt replied quickly as he stood up and walked to the front of the room.
"We weren't exactly agreeing, either," Blaine muttered. Kurt shot him a glare, telling him his comment was not at all appreciated. This was a great way to start off the song, Blaine thought. An argument right before a breakup song. This was just what they needed. Sure, it could help the performance, but there was no way it would benefit their relationship. Kurt had just questioned why they were dating. Did he not make it obvious enough that Kurt meant the world to him? He'd have to worry about this later. They had a song to sing and he couldn't let how upset he was show. It was just like at Dalton, where everything was an act. Life itself was a performance.
The song opened with Kurt singing sassily.
Every single day, I walk down the street. I hear people say, "Baby, so sweet." Ever since puberty, everybody stares at me. Boys, girls, I can't help it, baby, so be kind and don't lose your mind. Just remember that I'm your baby.
He danced around Blaine, who was standing still with his arms crossed. Blaine shook his head and rolled his eyes. This is just a song. This has nothing to do with real life, he thought.
Take me for what I am, who I was meant to be. And if you give a damn, take me baby, or leave me. Take me baby, or leave me.
A tiger in a cage can never see the sun. This diva needs his stage, so baby, let's have fun!
Kurt jumped up onto a chair and threw off his jacket. Blaine was so in love with him. He had to tell Kurt somehow. He had to let him know that no matter what, no matter how much the little things bothered him, he would always love Kurt above all else.
You are the one I choose. Folks would kill to fill your shoes. You love the limelight, too, now, baby. So be mine and don't waste my time, cryin', "oh honey bear, are you still my, my, my baby?"
He skipped towards Blaine, who cried, "Don't you dare!"
Take me for what I am, who I was meant to be. And of you give a damn, take me baby, or leave me.
No way, can I be what I'm not. But hey, don't you want your boy hot? Don't fight, don't lose your head, 'cause every night, who's in your bed? Who? Who's in your bed? Kiss pookie.
He made a kissy face at Blaine, who pushed him away. Maybe he had seemed as if he didn't want Kurt's attention.
Blaine began to sing, voice filled with annoyance.
It won't work. I look before I leap. I love margins and discipline. I make lists in my sleep, baby what's my sin? Never quit, I follow through. I hate mess but I love you. What do with my impromptu baby? So be wise, 'cause this boy satisfies. You got a prize, but don't compromise. You're one lucky baby.
Kurt was doing all he could to control his emotions. He had no idea what to think. He was so used to everyone being against him that he had made it seem that he wanted to break up with Blaine. This was so far from true. He had had huge crushes before, but he was really in love with Blaine. He hadn't meant to hurt him. But he had. The pain in Blaine's eyes had been horrible. He couldn't just apologize for this. He had made a mistake and everything was on the line because of it. At this point, there was no going back, no fixing things.
Take me for what I am, *A control freak.* Who I was meant to be.*A snob, yet over attentive.* And if you give a damn, *A loveable, droll geek.* take me baby, or leave me. *An anal retentive.*
Blaine was distraught. Kurt didn't love him. After everything, he was only hurting him. He couldn't fix this. Things would be simpler if they weren't dating. Bullying would probably be less severe as well. He never should have transferred. What difference would one year in reality make? He should have stayed in the fantasy land that was Dalton Academy. He was too late. There was no way he could transfer back. He would be stuck here. If Kurt was mad at him, no one would want to be near him. His only friends were Kurt's friends. They were great friends, but they had been Kurt's friends first. He would be completely alone in this miserable place.
That's it.
This really was it. Neither wanted it to end, but the way things were, there was no way to escape it.
The straw that breaks my back.
At first, they had brought each other nothing but happiness. Now everything was heartbreak and drama. They hadn't wanted to be just another high school couple. They thought they were really and truly in love. They supposed they were wrong.
I quit.
They really were giving up. They were giving up on their relationship, which had once been so beautiful.
Unless you take it back.
Both were too obstinate and strong willed to be the first to apologize.
Men, what is it about them? Can't live with them or without them.
There was no way they could be happy together now. Both boys' hearts were breaking as they realized everything was over.
Take me for what I am, who I was meant to be. And if you give a damn, take me baby, or leave me.
They couldn't. They weren't going to be able to accept and out aside their differences this time.
Guess I'm leaving. I'm gone!
They stormed off in opposite directions, just as they had choreographed. What they hadn't planned, however, was that this was really what was happening. Blaine walked towards a supply closet while Kurt stormed out the classroom door, slamming it shut as the music ended. This was the end.