Written on approx 10th December 2005
Author's Note Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman. The rights to those characters and to the show belong to the creators of the show, to CBS, The Sullivan Company and to A&E.
This story follows straight on from "Reflections and Dreams"
Family Matters
By Rachel
Sully awoke as the first signs of morning graced their bedroom; still sound asleep in his arms lay his beautiful wife, Michaela. He didn't believe that she had moved all night.
Shortly after bringing her upstairs the night before, she awoke, at first confused, but then with a fiery glint in her eye, her confusion turned to unfettered passion, the likes of which Sully never thought he would ever experience with his still shy and innocent wife.
They had spent the early hours of the night continually embracing the joys of married life until both felt completely exhausted and fell asleep unbelievably happy, cradled in each other's arms, which is where Sully now began to daydream.
As he was lying there peacefully, his mind began to wander, turning to look once more at Michaela. He was surprised at the amazement that he still felt. He was married! He could confidently say that he had never been happier than he was now living in a house with his family.
How a lady like his wife could have loved him in the first place was still beyond him, but she did. She would give her life for him just like he would for her; a unique bond existed between them that no-one, least of all they could explain.
She was his "heartsong." It had been that name which had provoked the Indians into guiding him in the right direction when he thought that he might never see her again. However, the mere thought of that name now brought so many different emotions to the forefront of his mind.
The most powerful was fear. That fear that was brought about by his foolishness. He had put her in danger, and he would never forgive himself. This danger had very nearly cost her, her life when dog soldiers abducted her. He had certainly learnt the true meaning of love and commitment during that harrowing experience. However he realised that both of them had done a lot of healing during that period and neither of them would forget it, but somehow thinking about it now didn't bring the same sense of dread that it once did. Instead the feelings that Sully was experiencing were ones of security and protection for his beloved heartsong.
Putting that time to the back of his mind once more he began to think of all the other times that he had called her that and suddenly realised that he had never called her that face to face. This was something that he was definitely going to change in the very near future.
Shifting slightly so that he could sit up a bit, he was again reminded of the completely natural beauty of his wife. He knew she didn't agree with him; she didn't realise what an impact she had on the men of the town and, smiling to himself with a slight chuckle, he thought that she definitely had no idea before their wedding what an affect she had on him.
Although there were times, as he thought back that they very nearly went too far during their engagement.
First there was the cattle drive when he had helped "wash" her after she delivered the calf. He remembered that as if it were yesterday;
Having achieved the birth of a beautiful calf, I suggested to Michaela that she might like to go and clean up in the woods. Nodding her head in agreement and with a smile that said thank you, she walked off with a bucket of cold water and her cleaning things.
Walking up behind her slowly so that she wasn't startled I said, "Got a fire goin', wouldn't that water feel a lot nicer if it were warm?"
"That would be nice," was her simple reply.
"I'll be right back." Smiling to myself I left Michaela to take her blouse off.
Returning with a nice bucket of warm water, I simply said, "Here ya are." Still, all she said was, "Thank you."
Free flowing conversation seemed impossible at this moment in time.
As Michaela began to clean herself, I leaned forward and whispered quietly, "Here let me."
Surprisingly, she didn't resist but instead acquired this far away look on her face, almost like she was dreaming. She then surprised me even more by her next admission, "That feels good."
A step forward I felt, feeling quite pleased with myself. Would she allow more? Could I chance it? Feeling brave I said, "Let me wash your neck."
Naturally, she began to resist and said, "No you don't have to."
Before she had a chance to say anything else, I replied, "Lift up your hair."
Again glancing surreptitiously at her, I discovered that she was actually relaxing and had that far away look on her face once again. This was going better than I had thought.
Realising that she hadn't said anything for quite some time I took the opportunity to change the gentle washing strokes to ones of a caressing nature and said, "When I first saw ya, I remember thinking you had the most beautiful long brown hair I ever saw."
I then took the biggest gamble of our courtship and kissed her back, glancing up expecting to see her pull away, but she didn't so I continued by kissing her neck and cheek, finally turning her to face me so that I could claim her luscious lips with mine.
With no resistance at all it turned out to be one of the sweetest, most passion filled kisses that we had ever had; and if it hadn't been for Matthew interrupting, us then it may have gone further.
Coming back to the present Sully smiled to himself at how the kids always seemed to choose the most in opportune times to interrupt. He wouldn't change them for the world but it did make things tough sometimes.
As the homestead was still quiet he again relaxed and was reminded of another passionate moment in their engagement.
It was just before Washita, his memories now tinged with sadness but not allowing himself to dwell on the sad things, he again thought about how far Michaela had allowed herself to go that day:
We had just said our farewells to our Cheyenne friends and Snowbird had given Michaela a talisman to be placed in our new homestead.
Walking into the living room, Michaela glanced around for the right place to hang Snowbird's present, placing it on the mantle over the fire she then noticed a large covered object leaning against the wall.
Uncovering it, she drew a deep breath and ran her delicate fingers over the intricate design. She was so overwhelmed by it, she didn't even hear me enter until I walked up behind her and said, "It was supposed to be a surprise. It's your wedding present." I felt a little put out that she had seen it before the wedding night, but I figured it would have happened sooner or later.
Michaela replied, with tears in her eyes, "Sully it's so beautiful."
Not really agreeing with her I said, "Will be when it's finished. I figured we'd need a bed"
A gentle smile played on her lips as I leaned over her. She said, "May I watch you work?"
Figuring that what she actually wanted was to talk, but still being unable to ask out right I said, "Sure, here sit on this." I laid the covering over the dusty floor and helped her to sit.
As I began to work again, I allowed Michaela the time and peace that she so obviously needed to gather her thoughts before she began.
After a few minutes she said, "I've been thinking how lucky we are to have this house, can't imagine having to suddenly pack up and leave everything. They've been gone a week and I feel like they've been gone a year now."
Taking a deep breath I simply replied, "I miss em too."
"You think they'll be alright?" Michaela asked, clearly as concerned for the Cheyenne as Sully was.
Taking a deep breath and turning round to face her I replied, "They should be safe at Fort Cobb by now. Once Custer's got his fill of chasing Dog Soldiers, they'll move on and maybe they'll be back." Looking at Michaela's eyes I could tell that something was still troubling her. Given time, she would tell me; but I had to be patient.
After a few more minutes Michaela replied, "Sometimes I can't help but wonder if you wished that you'd gone along with them. I mean the they've been you family for so long now."
Not allowing her to continue this self-reproaching talk I interrupted her by saying, "The Cheyenne are my family and always will be." Walking towards her I continued purposefully kneeling down in front of her and taking her face in my hands, "and so are you."
Pausing slightly to make sure that she understood what I was saying, I continued, "When are ya gonna understand my hearts yours now?"
With no more need for words, my gentle kiss turned to a passionate embrace until Michaela reluctantly drew back as she realised where this was heading.
With a smile on her beautiful, flushed face she said, "You'd better get back to work or we'll never have a bed."
Laughing, not taking my eyes of her I replied, "You're so beautiful."
Still full of joy from the kiss that we had just shared, Michaela said, "I never believed we could be this happy. I love you so much."
Knowing that this had to end I laughed softly, leant forward and kissed her neck and then helped her to sit up again.
Coming back to the present once again, he was amazed at how far Michaela had allowed herself to go that day, he reflected that yes it had taken a lot of careful coaxing on his behalf to get her to trust him and to begin to enjoy kissing and snuggling, but there was no doubt that it was well worth it.
Feeling Michaela begin to stir beside him brought him back to the present, and he decided that he would start the day by giving her breakfast in bed, "Sully style." So he slowly and gently got out of bed, threw on his shirt from yesterday, grabbed his buckskins. He checked to see if he had disturbed Michaela. Reassured and pleased, he quietly left the room.
Descending the stairs, avoiding the creaking top step, he walked to the kitchen and immediately lit the stove fire to brew some coffee.
He walked out to the springhouse to retrieve some bacon and returned via the barn with some eggs.
He hoped that the smell of breakfast cooking wouldn't disturb the still slumbering Michaela.
Glancing at the clock on the mantle, he realised that it was nearly half past eight.
He was a little surprised that Michaela was still asleep, in a way he was pleased because it meant that his surprise was going according to plan, but on the other hand, he couldn't remember an occasion when she had slept this late—unless she was ill.
Michaela was rarely unwell, she was usually so full of energy from dawn to dusk that he had to force her to stop and rest.
The thought that something might be wrong made him suddenly draw in a breath, and he thought aloud, "Oh God please don't let her be ill!"
That thought sent a chill up his spine, and he decided that he would have to observe his wife very carefully today and wondered about going to see Cloud Dancing but that could wait until later, right now he had a surprise for his wife.
With that final thought he ascended the stairs and entered their bedroom.
The sight that met his crystal blue eyes, as Michaela called them, was a sight that he would never forget as long as he lived.
Michaela lay there in all her glory having kicked the covers off. She looked like a porcelain doll with her pale white complexion, and yet at the same time there was a beautiful rose hue across her features, which he didn't believe he had ever seen before.
He was loathed to wake her but he wanted to pamper her with his culinary talents. So carefully he placed the try on the bedside table and moved towards her body with the stealth of a deer walking to a stream.
Just as he was about to whisper "good morning" in her ear she opened her eyes and saw her handsome husband looking at her.
An instant blush sufficed her cheeks and she jumped up, grabbing the covers. As she did so, knocking Sully sideways shrieking, "Sully! What do you think you are doing!"
Chuckling Sully replied innocently, "Just giving my beautiful wife a good morning kiss and breakfast in bed." As he leant forward and gave her a peck on the cheek.
Glancing at the redness in Michaela's face and seeing that her embarrassment, although endearing to him, wasn't diminishing. He reached behind him and picked her robe up off the floor and gave it to her saying, "Here ya are… although I wish ya wouldn't. Ya really have nothin t' be embarrassed about. Ya really do have the most beautiful, sensual, curvaceous, soft body, and I never tire of seeing and touching it."
Then as if adding a full stop and an exclamation point to the sentence he had just uttered so lovingly Sully reached for Michaela's lips with his own and gave her a passionate and loving good morning kiss.
Michaela was left speechless, which was exactly Sully's intention.
So smiling smugly to himself, he gave her a quick peck on the lips and said, "Wanna little breakfast?" With a nod from Michaela, Sully preceded to spoon and finger feed her the entire contents of the platter, interspersing each helping with an "I love ya" or "you're beautiful" or a simple, yet pleasurable kiss.
Having spent a good forty minutes dealing with breakfast Sully then gave Michaela a hand to get washed and dressed all the while kissing and caressing her.
Once that was finished, he suggested that they go visit Cloud Dancing today. With the agreement from Michaela, it would make it easier for him to ask his learned friend and Medicine Man about the concerns that he had over Michaela's health.
With a "yes, that would be fine" from Michaela, it was settled they would head out to the reservation for lunch.
As it was still unseasonably warm for the time of year they took the horses rather than the wagon. Flash and Comet enjoyed the ride up to see Cloud Dancing as much as Michaela and Sully did, so there was never any effort involved, in fact Sully suspected that the horses were as keen to get there as he was, for some reason only known to horses, he chuckled to himself.
Glancing across at Michaela, who was relaxed and just letting Flash lead the way, Sully still felt uneasy about her fatigue. Although she had eaten a full breakfast this morning and had slept for at least nine hours, he was convinced that she looked as if she hadn't had any sleep at all. This made him all the more certain that something was wrong, and he was determined for Cloud Dancing to have a look at her while they were alone with him.
Sully suspected that Michaela wouldn't even acknowledge that something was wrong before it was too late. She frequently worked too hard, putting her own health and well-being second to that of her patients and family.
Not this time, Sully decided. If indeed something was wrong with her Sully had already decided that he was going to pamper Michaela and let her rest until she was better.
Oh to actually have an excuse for pampering her like this morning filled him with joy.
Sully was so far away in his concerns about Michaela that he didn't even realize that Comet had stopped as they had arrived at the reservation.
Michaela was looking curiously at her husband and said, "Sully we're here, are you alright?"
Typical Michaela, Sully thought but he didn't voice that. Instead he said, "Yeah, I am just enjoyin' the peace and quiet with my gorgeous wife."
Smiling at Sully, Michaela relaxed and dismounted from Flash as Sully slid off Comet's back. Cloud Dancing had already seen his friends riding up and was immediately struck by the fatigue on Michaela's face, although he didn't show this concern, instead he just warmly welcomed her with a hug and said, "A-ho, my brother" to Sully.
Sully replied using the same familiar greeting, but without saying anything, he conveyed to Cloud Dancing their real reason for coming.
Cloud Dancing invited them into his tepee where he prepared some food and drink for his friends. He needed to get Michaela to talk in order to discover what was wrong. The spirits had said nothing about his friend being ill, in fact, they had said nothing at all about any problems. He could tell that Sully was getting very concerned about his heartsong's health. So for his sake if no one else's, he had to get her to open up somehow, but that was going to be easier said than done he thought.
Deciding that a soft approach may help, Cloud Dancing started the conversation by saying, "How have things been at the clinic Dr Mike? Sully says that you have been working very hard since your return from your honeymoon?"
Michaela was a little surprised that Cloud Dancing was showing so much interest in her clinic, but she replied politely by saying, "Thank you for asking. Yes, things have been busy, but nothing that I can't handle."
Michaela began to wonder what was going on as she glanced across the tepee between Cloud Dancing and Sully and back again. There was something in their eyes that said more than their words did.
Beginning to suspect something was going on, Michaela asked Sully, "What is the matter? You two have hardly spoken to each other all afternoon, and you keep looking at me as if I might break! Are you sure you are alright, Sully? You know that you can tell me anything, don't you?"
Cloud Dancing had been watching Sully's face during this and discovered that he was mildly amused by Michaela's obvious concern for her husband who was actually concerned for her. He wondered if they would ever learn the art of talking.
Sully sat pensively, trying to think of something to say to Michaela, he decided that they needed to talk frankly and in private, so he asked Cloud Dancing to leave them alone. Cloud Dancing had already sensed that Sully needed privacy so he eagerly agreed and said that he would be down by the creek should they need anything and with that, he left.
Michaela once again was concerned about the actions of her husband, so she said "Please tell me what's wrong, Sully! It's killing me to see you so troubled! I feel your pain and I want to take it away from you because I love you so much. Please talk to me!"
Sully couldn't bear to see the unintentional hurt that he had caused playing on Michaela's beautiful face, so he said, "I do need to talk to ya, but it ain't easy."
Taking her hands in his, he continued gently, "My dear, sweet, caring beautiful Michaela, what did I ever did to deserve ya? Ya never worry about yourself, ya are always lookin' after everyone else's needs before your own and ya never complain."
Glancing at Michaela he could see tears rolling silently down her cheeks, gently rubbing his thumb over her hand in silent reassurance he continued, "Ya have asked me so many times today if I am alright, and every time I have said yes. But in truth, I ain't. I am worried about ya, my heartsong."
Michaela was now sobbing. She had never heard her husband speak so eloquently before or with such a sense of pride. She was awestruck but allowed him to continue in his own time.
Taking a deep breath Sully knew that this was it. There was no turning back—his wife had a right to know how he felt so he continued, "I have spent today reflectin' over our time together and all that we have achieved and all that we have gone through to get to where we are now. First, I want to thank you for trusting me and loving me enough to marry me. You and the children have made me happier than I ever dared to dream of. You have given me a family, Michaela, without even thinking."
"Oh Sully, I love you too!" was all Michaela could say, but she knew that Sully wasn't finished.
"I know ya do, Michaela, and it's because of my love for you that I brought ya here, today. Ya see I'm worried about ya. Ya seem real hungry and at the same time real tired. I was afraid ya were ill, and I was hoping that Cloud Dancing might be able to suggest something; but I believe the Spirits have already given the answer."
A puzzled Michaela asked, "What do you mean, Sully? I feel fine! I have just been working hard and not getting enough rest. I promise to try and slow down."
"Oh sweetheart, I know that you have been working hard, but don't ya see? It ain't the work which is tirin' ya out." Sully could tell by Michaela's expression that she still wasn't following him, and he just hoped that his assumption was right because if he was wrong then he really would look like a fool.
However having gone this far he couldn't back out now, so he took a deep calming breath and continued, " I remember seeing this in Abagail." With still no recognition from Michaela, he continued carefully, "When she was about two months along, she suddenly became terribly tired and incredibly hungry at the same time." Hoping the doctor in her would now acknowledge what he was saying, Sully waited.
Michaela began shakily as she hadn't stopped crying, "What are you talking about, Sully? When Abagail was twp months along, you mean when she was…" Sully knew that the realization had just hit Michaela, so he didn't interrupt but just continued to offer a gentle squeezes as reassurance while she continued, "pregnant? You think that I might be…be…be pregnant?"
The now trembling Michaela collapsed in her husband's arms. Sully gently held her and waited fro her to calm down before speaking. Slowly, he began, "Is there any reason why ya can't be?" Receiving no response, he continued, "We have been doin' all the right things, ya know."
Michaela smiled at this and his attempt to try and bring some levity to the situation. She said simply, almost disbelievingly, "Do you really think so? I never thought it was possible. I mean…. I'm not that young any more."
"I'm positive it is possible, and yep, I really think so. As for your age Michaela, ya are just about perfect, and ya have managed to give me yet another gift without trying. A baby!" Sully replied, shaking with emotion.
Michaela was now smiling and said, "My wonderfully handsome, caring, mountain man, you speak of the gifts that I have given you, but don't you see this gift, our baby, is something which we have given each other. It is a testament to our love, and it shows us how precious that love is."
Pausing to take Sully's hands in hers she continued, "Apart from this baby, the most precious gift you have given me is yourself, Sully. You spoke of me trusting you and loving me, but it works both ways. Without the love that you show me, I wouldn't have been able to show you just how much you mean to me. You taught me that, and that, my darling Sully, is the most precious gift of all."
Sully now felt that there was no more use for words. They had created a new life from their wonderful love and that life was what mattered now. His family, their family mattered more than life itself.
Leaning forward he held Michaela securely and kissed her with such passion that it left both of them breathless, but neither doubted the love they shared, nor that their future would change forever.
The End