'Link is a derp. But at least he's a useful derp.' Zelda, Princess of Hyrule stood on her wide balcony as she watched the blonde 'hero' clumsily climb down the tower wall. She wished there were a better candidate: someone with more experience, or wisdom, or chest hair could probably do the job better. But the prophecy was clear; the savior of Hyrule would be the person carrying the sword of Hyrule and wearing the green robes of honor. And while she wished this was pure coincidence, it was hard to ignore that awful gaudy green.
Suddenly, a hand came out of nowhere, covering her mouth and pulling her back forcefully. She knew immediately what was happening. Her biggest fear of being kidnapped by Ganondorf was coming true, and happening far sooner than she hoped it would. She kicked and struggled of course, but without the weapons and skills she possessed as Sheik, she was virtually helpless.
Zelda looked out over the Kingdom of Hyrule, hoping to catch the attention of perhaps the only person in all the Kingdom that could be of any assistance. Her eyes quickly landed on bright blonde hair, overtop an awful bright green color. Link was still by the castle! And right outside the garden no less! Zelda screamed through the hand covering her mouth, hoping he could hear the cry.
Link's head tilted as if he listening to something quiet, and Zelda felt relief fill her as she screamed again.
Link quickly removed his sword and ran back toward the balcony, Zelda's heart swelled.
…Until he used his sword to smash open the royal pots in the courtyard.
As Zelda felt herself falling into unconsciousness, only one thought followed her
'Link is such a derp.'