Themindlessemblem: yay for slightly depressing romance stories!
Serra: why on earth is that a yay?
Themindlessemblem: halt with the complaining. At least it's about you.
Serra: finally!
Marisa: wait, she gets a story and I don't!?
Themindlessemblem: yup
Wendy: that's mean
Marcia: she's always mean
Themindlessemblem: stop talking, I have a headache.
Marisa: what do you want, a Tylenol?
Themindlessemblem: how is that not talking?
Disclaimer: I do not own Fire Emblem, Nintendo and Intelligent Systems do. I also do not own to song Forever and Almost Always by Kate Voegele
Forever and Almost Always
So the story goes on down a less traveled road
It's a variation on the one I was told
And although it's not the same, it's awful close
"Hey, sweetie," I say. He gives me his trademark grin. But it lacks something.
"Hey, Serra," he responds wrapping his arms around me and giving me a small kiss. A kiss devoid of any meaning at all.
"You okay?" I ask, and his smile disappears. I shrink back, waiting for him to snap at me.
"I'm fine," he says shortly, letting go of me. I don't feel any emptier than I did when he was holding me. That doesn't seem right. He completes me, I should feel something when he holds me. That's when I notice how far off his eyes look. And I know he's thinking about Leila.
In an ordinary fairy tale land
There's the promise of a perfect happy end
And I imagine having just short of that
Is better than nothing
I know he's not completely over her yet. But that's okay. He still loves me, and I'm here and she's… not. Eventually, he'll realize he has to let go. And I can wait until then.
But it's been three years. Shouldn't he have moved on more than this by now? He doesn't smile as easy as he used to, and he has a shorter temper. Sometimes it even seems like I'm hurting him more than I'm helping.
But these thoughts aren't helping at all, so I push them out of my mind.
So you'll be mine, forever and almost always
And I'll be fine, just love me when you can, yeah
And I'll wait patiently; I'll wake of everyday
Just hoping that you still care
I love him and he loves me. That's all I need. I'm not going to be a clingy girlfriend and make him forget all about Leila if he wants to stay with me. I couldn't hurt him like that.
"If you say so, Matt," I say softly. His eyes remain where they are, staring at nothing. "Just…come see me if you need anything."
With that, I meander back into Castle Ostia.
In the corner of my mind, I know too well
Oh, that surely even I, deserve the best
But instead of leaving, I just put the issue to bed
And out of my head
"Lord Hector!" I call, and he turns slightly to glance at me in curiosity. Obviously, wondering why my voice is so shaky.
"Is there any jobs for me today?" I ask, trying to hold back my tears. Tears that I don't know the reason for. I'm happy. I have a boyfriend that I love, a job that I enjoy with an employer that puts up with me, and many close friends. I have nothing to be sad about.
"You alright, Serra?" Hector asks me. My bottom lip shakes a bit.
"I'm fine," I snap, reminding me of Matthew.
Oh, and just when I believe, you've changed for good
Well, you go and prove me wrong just like I knew you would
When I run out of second chances, you give me that look
And you're off the hook
Some days, he isn't plagued by her memory at all. He's as happy and lovable as before she died. And his smile is all for me. Those are the happiest days for me.
But this almost never happens. And I get so fed up with his pining over her. Even though it's awful, I'm jealous of Leila for how much of his attention she still gets. I'm jealous of my dead best friend. I absolutely despise myself.
"If you're sure, Serra," he says. "Remember, I'm here if you need anything." And it is so close to what I said that I find I can't hold the tears in anymore. They cascade down my cheeks, leaving salty trails.
Because you're mine, forever and almost always
And I'll be fine, just love me when you can, yeah
And I'll wait patiently; I'll wake up everyday
Just hoping that you still care
"Serra?" Hector asks hesitantly. I just shake my head and run away from him. Like I do all my problems.
I can't do this anymore. I'll always be longing for something that Matthew can't give me. And I'll always hate myself for it.
I slam the door to my room behind me, and collapse, sobbing into my pillows.
Oh, oh
What am I still doing here
Oh, oh, oh
It's all becoming so clear, yeah
I need to get out of here. Away from him and the ghost of his Leila. I need time to think about what I need. I can't always be worrying about him. I need to take care of myself.
I remember the invite from Pent, Louise, and Erk to come stay with them for awhile. Priscilla usually visits there this time of year too. It'd be nice to see her again…
Making my decision, I quickly scribble out my acceptance and send it. Then I write two more notes: one to Hector, explaining my absence, and one to Matthew.
You'll be mine, forever and almost always
It ain't right, to just love me when you can, oh
I won't wait patiently, or wake up everyday
Just hoping that you still care
Dear Matthew,
I'm leaving. Not permanently, just for maybe a month or two. I need some time away from here. From you. Time to think about what I need in my life.
You don't really want to be with me. You still love Leila too much. I know I'm just your crutch. But I love you, Matt, and it hurts me to know that you can't love me back yet.
I need you to make up your mind. I know you probably don't realize how much you're hurting me by stringing me along like this. But it does hurt. A lot. So, I need you to make up your mind about me. If you aren't ready to try to love me yet, then you need to let me go and learn to walk on your own.
I can't always be there to lean on. And you're crushing me with your reliance.
Think about it while I'm away.
I love you.
Goodbye,
Serra
Forever and almost always
No, it ain't right, to just love me when you can baby
Ain't going to wait patiently; I won't wake up everyday
Just hoping that you still care
Themindlessemblem: writing all those lyric down was a pain
Marcia: uh-huh
Serra: I think I'm OOC
Themindlessemblem: you probably are… eh, oh well
Serra: OH WELL!?!?
Marisa: quit whining, at least you HAVE a story
Serra: true…
Wendy: Reviews make the writer happy. Bring more joy to the world and review.