Title: To love and be loved
Rating: PG- 13
Pairing: Miranda / Andrea
Summary: Andy left Miranda in a way that neither of them expected. Cassidy comes home to comfort her mother as everything becomes too much for the Devil to take.
Author's Note: Since I was dying from waiting for big writers to update, I took the liberty to write my own thoughts…. Oh and THIS IS A BIT SAD so be warned if u are a happy ending reader =D oh and I was inspired by Jessica Sanchez's "Dance with my father again"
She couldn't remember the last time that father's day really appealed to her. All she remembers was her memory of a busy Carolyn and a very naive version of herself, working on father's day cards for their dad. But now as the 2nd Sunday of June approached her, it was not a picture of her birth father that came into her mind. Instead the picture of a vibrant woman who made a home out of their house, made its presence known in her busy thoughts.
At 23 she never would have thought that the woman would become a big part of their lives.
Setting her bags down the silent foyer of the townhouse, she felt the sudden sense of its emptiness. Removing her coat and hanging it on the closet, she made her way directly to the study with the hope that she might find her mother there.
To her own surprise, she wasn't. Deciding that a glass of something would be nice, she made her way to the old bar counter and poured herself a glass of red as she sat down on the comfortable couch. Closing her eyes, she had the time to savor both the silence and the bittersweet taste of the wine. That was when she felt something licking her feet. Patricia. She was really, really old now. She was still a puppy when Stephen gave her to them as a birthday gift on their 12th birthday. So now she is as frail as an old dog could be. She remember how close this darling dog had been to her.
She remember how SHE would walk Patricia to the park in the early mornings before going to work. Everything was pretty simple back then.
Standing up, she took a glance at her mother's old oak desk. She always loved sitting on her mother's office chair here in this den as a child. It always made her feel superior. But now, as she sat down on the said chair, all she felt was ache. Her eyes fell upon the photo that was resting on its right frame.
It was taken long before they were even married. Their mom took the two of them to the park with Andy, along with Patricia. It was a candid shot as she clearly remembered being the one who took it. In it Andy had her head resting on their mom's lap where Miranda was sitting on the bench. They were gazing at one another, and Andy had a huge smile on her face. Carolyn was sitting down on the ground around their feet where Patricia rested.
It was one hell of a photo. It sure did convey the reality of Andy being their mother's life partner. Cassidy knew that even then, Andy was a part of their family. A year after the photo was taken; Andy and her mother said their vows. Since then, she took in the big role of being a second parent with great joy and happiness.
She had always been there for all three of them. And her memory of the young brunette played a big part of her life. She remembers those nights where she would fall asleep on the couch on a movie night and she would wake up on her bed, barely remembering Andy lifting her up from the couch and up the stairs with her mom saying good night to her. She also remembers the nights Andy held her through because of the heart aches that boys had caused. She had this memory of the young woman being there when she first admitted on having her first intimate encounter with someone. Andy was there when she had that pregnancy scare one weekend.
Ever since her mom married her Andy had always been there. Not just for her, but for the three of them.
Looking around the empty room, she pulled out a big sigh and stood up. All the good memories were starting to be more than just a bit overwhelming. So she walked out of the den, still in search of her mother. The next room she went into was living room upstairs.
God! If she thought that the den brought back all the emotions that were long hidden on the locker of her heart, she was wrong. As she leaned her back on the door jamb of the living room, memories instantly flooded her mind.
It was of a sixteen year old version of herself and her twin. She had one arm around Andy's shoulder while the other was being held by the soft hand of the brunette. It was a week before their sweet sixteen and Andy volunteered to teach them how to dance the waltz. Carolyn was sitting on the sofa gazing at the two of them when their mom arrived the scene. She remembered being too focused and tensed, that she stepped on Andy's foot. That's when her mom tapped her shoulder and gallantly asked as she took the brunette's hand were it was resting on the younger Priestly's.
"May I?" Her mom's soft voice floated
That's when she stepped away and joined her twin on the sofa. She remember how her mother's eyes sparkled with love and adoration for the younger woman as Celine Dion's "Falling into You" lead them into a passion filled world.
You can actually see their feelings being mirrored on each other eyes.
That's where the tears started flowing. Gathering herself up, she went to her room to freshen up.
Upon entering her childhood room, a smile crept its way into her saddened face. Being in this safe place of solitude made her feel really at home, because this room held nothing that the memories she had shared with her twin.
Only one memory singled itself out from the rest, and it was of an argument with her mom, followed by being held by the person whom she had accepted as another parent.
She was 18 and she found a job that she actually loved. She painted excellently and so when she sold her work for about almost 3 thousand dollars each, she started thinking that studying was not really a necessity to earn a job. But when she told her mom that she wanted to drop out of school and do what she wanted it only resulted to her storming off to this exact room and being followed by an enraged Miranda priestly.
After all the yelling, the telling, the scolding, and the tears came, Miranda left the room. A few minutes later, Andy held her and comforted her as she cried herself to sleep. The morning after, Andy tried to talk her out of her decision and continue studying and that if she still wanted to paint after she finished her degree, then she could.
She agreed to this which apparently made her mom relieved. Leaning again on the door she finally had an idea where her mom was. After walking away from her room, she headed for her mother's room which was located on the same floor. A few steps away from the said room, she heard it.
It was very heartbreaking but she accepted it as a sign of reality.
She was greeted by silent sobs coming from the room and was shortly followed by the vision of her mother: Miranda priestly, Editor in chief of runway, Ice queen, Queen Bitch, Devil on hot heels with puffy eyes and painting a picture of sorrow and grief. She was lying on the middle of the bed grievously crying as she held on the framed picture of her wife.
A week ago she received a phone call that changed a lot of things in her life. A week ago Andy suffered from pancreatitis. A week ago her mother, Miranda priestly was left widowed after being married to the love of her life for only 6 years. A week ago Cassidy refused to believe that the person that made her family complete was lying in coffin, lifeless and not breathing. A week ago, Cassidy refused to attend her funeral.
But now, as she saw the picture of her grieving mother, everything was starting to seem real to her.
She wanted to run into her arms and wrap her on a longing embrace that would at least make her feel that she was not alone in the conquest of overcoming these grievous emotions that they are sharing.
But she just can't move. It felt as if she as numbed on the spot.
How she wished she could still have Andy back, to be there when they needed her, so she could tell her about her day, or just teach her simple things such as waltz. But most importantly, how she wished her mother could have her back to cherish her and spend her life with. To love and be loved.
As sorrow swirled the air, she finally let go of the hidden emotion she had kept on lock for a week and just broke down. It may have been all the tears in the world but one thing was for sure, her mother was not alone as they cried themselves upon their loss.
Gathering her courage, she stood up and made her way towards the weeping woman that she barely recognized. She never has and may never be able to see her mother in this state again. It was far from everything that described the character her mother portrayed. A week ago, she was could never be described by the words that usually characterized her. No, starting from a week ago she was a picture of a person who lost the other half of her soul, the breath of her body, and the love of her life.
Lying down beside her, She wrapped her mother in a fierce embrace as they wept for their loss. Miranda only cried harder as she whispered barely coherent words such as "why did she leave me?" or "was I so bad to her?" but the glass that cut through everything else was the breathed words "she took my heart with her and with that I may never recover a part of myself"
Who knows how long it will take for them to move on. She was only certain with one thing. That all three of them wished they could have Andréa Sachs back on their lives again.
********End********
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