I balled my hands into fists staring at the photograph before me. My broken past could have never been better represented than within that one black frame.
I can't say that I honestly understand what I saw in him. What I saw in his empty eyes, his brooding soul, his dark past. I was nothing but a fool. I was shallow and allowed a pretty face to control my life.
The self loathing grew inside me as I contemplated just how much power I gave this man. He was my world, my life, my heart and I allowed him to get away with everything because of a silly obsession that I created during my childhood years. I couldn't even bring myself to hate him as the brilliant strokes of light he created rushed at me, intent on snuffing out my life.
'Sasuke' I thought to myself.
Just thinking his name gave me shivers. I couldn't save him, I couldn't stop him and pitiful Sakura had to be saved again.
When I think about it he could have killed Naruto. The one thing holding me together these days. He's been the sunshine that I have learned to rely on and only when he was almost taken did I come to terms with what he was to me.
When I think further he could have killed Kakashi. The mentor that made me want to strive for more. The lazy smut reading man that has saved me from myself and from others more times then I could count. Ready to take the burden of Sasuke's death onto himself when he had already suffered so much in the past.
'If only I was stronger. If only I did more than stand there, wide eyed and afraid. If only …'
I grabbed the picture of my dresser and crushed it in my hands. The glass imbedding itself into my hand, the blood flowing freely onto the hardwood floor of my bedroom. The only sounds in my small apartment was the soft patter of crimson dripping from my hand. Each drop solidifying my conviction.
No longer will I allow the past to stop me from protecting the ones I love. No longer will I be the one having to wait for rescue. I refuse to allow others to carry my burdens. I will protect the ones I love … from the ones that hurt them. Even at the cost of my own life, I will do everything in my power to keep them safe from harm.
I looked into the mirror on top of my dresser and ignored the throbbing in my hand.
"That will be my Ninja Way." I whispered softly to myself as I padded away to wrap the wound that marked the turning point in my life.
I crouched silently on the balcony of a certain pinkette's apartment. I couldn't understand what brought me here. To her.
I couldn't understand the ache in my chest that threatened to consume me if I did not give into the urge. The urge to see her.
The smell of salt and iron wafted to my sensitive nose and I peered through her window. My eyes widened when I saw her hunched over a broken picture frame still tightly held in her deceptively strong hands. The glass was protruding from all parts of her hand and blood covered most of the ground. It was then I realized what picture she was holding.
That blasted team photo that Kakashi made us take. It was a while since I thought of those days, when things were easier. I sighed and gazed upon her petite frame shaking slightly with her choked sobs.
'Sakura' I thought to myself.
Just thinking her name caused me to shudder internally. Her warm scent and soft embrace caressed my memory and my body involuntarily leaned toward the object of my …. No. I can't allow myself to think like that. I hurt her once and I'll probably do it again.
The bloodied team photo fell to the ground and her shakings ceased. I heard a whisper.
"That will be my Ninja Way."
My eyes widened as I saw the resolve in her body. The aura she was projecting was of fierce protection and I realized as she exited her bedroom that she was finally leaving the past behind.
A sad smile overcame my features as I knew she finally overcame the darkness I shed on her life. I breathed in one last time, trying to take in as much of her as I could. Her unique honeysuckle and fresh grass smell, the warmth that I could still feel on the balcony, the chakra that called out to me, the feeling of her.
Thunder rumbled and rain suddenly came pelting down on my previous home. I took this as a sign to take my leave.
Thrusting chakra to my legs I ran out of the village and over the gates as the rain slammed against my body, but a sudden pain wracked my body and forced me to stop. Crashing into the mud I jerked my hand to clutch my face. Warm liquid fell down my chin and self loathing filled my heart.
'I almost destroyed the one light in my life. I'm not worthy of her … I'm not worthy of a home.'
I gingerly opened my eyes and looked in the puddle before me. The eyes that I used to kill my brother staring back at me.
The repressed emotions took hold of my body causing it to violently shake.
'I'm sorry Sakura. I hope one day … I can make it up to you. To take away the burden I have placed on you and the rest of our team.'
Hardening my heart I stood on shaking legs and pushed once more away from Konoha while allowing my pride to convince me the liquid running down my face was only the rain overhead.