A/N: This title comes from Stephen King's Dark Tower Book 7. It is the name of the chapter where Jake dies and Roland has to bury him. Such a heavy topic and yet the imagery King conjured about the forest and the sunlight playing on the leaves represented to me the ultimate definition of peace. I think that Katniss finally becoming pregnant means that she has found some measure of peace within herself. It just seemed to fit in my head.
Chapter 1: RefugeShe treated these woods like a refuge. Always had and apparently always would. Since her father died in the mines, she had retreated to the woods not only for a source of food but as a hideaway. This was her place—she understood it and it understood her. It accepted her, unquestioning and absolutely.
It was inevitable that she would come to the woods today. As soon as her suspicions were confirmed, she bolted. Peeta was her lifeline, her anchor. But the woods were her sanity. They soothed the fears that she kept from Peeta. They quieted the demons she couldn't burden him with. He carried too much of her load already.
She knew it was a possibility she would become pregnant. To have the reality staring her in the face was mind bending. She wanted it, probably more than she could even admit to herself. Peeta had hoped and waited for so long. She ached every time she said no and watched that spark in his eyes dim. When she finally said okay to trying, it was as if she had given him the sun. She loved that look. She wanted to see it more often. Smiling slightly, she glanced at the stick in her hand. Yes, here was the key to getting that wish. He would smile. He would probably cry. But the smile would be her reward.
She glanced up at the branches above her head watching the light play amongst the leaves. It danced about her in a haze of green and gold. The leaves split the light and were sheathed in return. It was only here in these woods that she saw this dance. This relationship of both dark and light each one made greater by the presence of the other.
She wondered if she was the light or the leaf. Maybe she was the dance between the two. A wry grin twisted her lip at this poetic thought. "Too much time spent around a baker turned painter." she thought ruefully. She had always been practical and focused. She did what was necessary in as quick and efficient a manner as possible. She didn't stop to notice things like sunlight in leaves. Not until Peeta.
She was, she decided, the dance between the two. The Games had been her dark. Starvation had been her dark. Lack of hope and faith had been her dark. Peeta was her light. When the darkness pushed and threatened to swamp her, he was what held her firm. When she let herself doubt, he was there to lend her strength. When she was cold, he was the warmth she turned to. When she lost everything, he gave her his all without thought of getting anything in return.
She twirled the stick between her fingers again and studied the two pink lines before shoving it into her pocket. She took one more glance up at the light playing through the leaves. The green and the gold intertwined, changing and bending to each other. She closed her eyes and let out a slow breath feeling peaceful for the first time in ages. Now she could give him something. She could finally move beyond all that had held her back. It wasn't perfect but it was hers to give. She climbed to her feet and headed back. She walked with purpose toward this new life, this new chance. Around her, the sunlight danced among the leaves. All was quiet. It was time to go home.
End Part 1