Thirteen things the Doctor hates and thirteen things he loves.
The First
Right now he's only sixty- very young. The sixties are an embarrassing time in every Time Lord's life, one decade that they all wish they could forget.
In fact, Theta can remember stories of the Elders' time in the sixties.
Borusa, for instance, his teacher at the Academy, has let slip more than one story about his own boyhood and Theta snickers every time afterwards with his friends.
Right now, though, he thinks the strange colors and peace signs are cool. Sort of like a painting, or maybe the rug of colors in Rassilon's Great Hall. Drugs are a bonus- for all the highs he's gotten with Koschei and Rani with them versus the "Ultimate High only Knowledge Can Get You" from the Prydon Academy, he'll take the drugs.
Theta jumps from the roof of Lungbarrow, intending to go 'play' with Koschei... After all, his parents weren't home.
"Happy Looming Day, Susan," he congratulates his granddaughter as she blows out the candles on her cake, an Earth tradition she's been caught up in. Everything now is Earth this, Earth that. Frankly, he's tired of it, and tries to suggest they should leave here, but he doesn't have the hearts to. Since they've left Gallifrey, she's usually one of the things he can't say no to.
She is what he loves.
Susan grins as he cuts her a slice and hands it to her, waiting politely for Barbra and Ian and himself to get a piece.
"What's a Looming Day?" Ian Chesterson asks after Susan takes a bite.
The Doctor has decided to be grumpy right now, for Time Lord traditions are not something he'd like to share, but of course Susan does not take the hint.
"Looming is my people's equivalent of birth," Susan said. "We celebrate it, just like humans do their birthdays. Today I'm sixty!"
"I wanna look that good when I'm sixty," Barbara muttered with a smile.
"Now, my dear," the Doctor said, standing. He pretended not to notice Susan's eye roll. "Enjoy your time as a growing sixty year old, and do not be reckless as I was."
Susan giggled. "Oh, do tell, grandfather," she said.
The Doctor ignored her comment and cut himself another slice of cake.
"Come on, Doctor," Ian said, joining Susan in her infernal affairs. "We've all done something embarrassing in our teenage years, what is your experience?"
The Doctor regrets speaking.
"Grandfather, please? As a present?" Susan pleaded. He sat down with a humph.
"As a present, I will indulge you," he said to Susan, not bothering to wait until later to tell her, for Ian and Barbara would never let him hear the end of it until he told them.
"Yes!" Susan cheered, making herself more comfortable. Ian and Barbara did the same.
"Once when I was a little boy," the Doctor began, "Around your age, I think. I went to the Prydonian Academy."
"What's that?" Barbara asked.
"The Academy for young Time Lords to get educated," the Doctor explained. "For my chapter, at least, the Prydons."
"Oh," was all she said, and the Doctor continued.
"I went to the Prydonian Academy with your uncle Koschei. And we got into lots of trouble."
"With Borusa?" Susan asked.
"Among others, yes," the Doctor said. "But with Borusa the most."
"Borusa was Grandfather's chapter tutor," Susan whispered to the two humans left out of the loop. "They didn't like each other much."
"He never believed I was much of anything," the Doctor said. "So I wasn't, and I failed all my classes. Except mathematics and languages."
"Did they have a driving a TARDIS class?" Ian asked.
"Yes," the Doctor said. "And I failed."
"That explains a lot."
The thousand-year old man glared at him.
"Sorry," Ian said, throwing his hands up, grinning. Clearly he was not.
"What about Uncle Koschei?" Susan asked, bringing the attention back to the story.
"Your Uncle Koschei and I would play by the river of Lethe some days before school," the Doctor said, staring thoughtfully into literal space through the scanner.
"Oh, Rassilon, Koschei," Theta said as he zipped up his pants, "Where do you learn that?"
Koschei smiled, emerging from the bushes that the two had previously been mingling in. "Places."
Theta smacked him.
"Where are your robes? Did you not bring them today?" His friend asked.
"Nah," Theta said. "I got tired of wearing those. Harder to get off."
"You're harder to get off," Koschei complained. "I spend half my energy trying to make you happy."
Theta grinned, shrugging on his hoodie. He leaned in to his friend's face, close enough for Koschei to feel his breath.
"Not to worry," he said, crashing their mouths together. They pulled apart after five minutes, their underdeveloped respiratory bypass systems giving out earlier than a regular Time Lord's would.
"I guess," Koschei panted, "We have time for another one."
Theta toppled his friend to the ground, grinning, his hair flopping in his face.
"We're the Lords of Time," he said. "We have all the time in the universe."
"And did you get in trouble for being late?" Susan asked, bringing him out of memory.
"All the time," the Doctor said. "We would often get reprimanded and be made to clean the mess hall."
There was silence for a moment, before the Doctor made his way to his room. "Do not be reckless as I was, my dear," he said. "One day, it will come back."
He didn't wait for a reply before he made it to his bedroom on his beloved ship, and flopped down and thought.
"Why do we do this, Theta?" Koschei asked as they both knelt, scrubbing the floor.
"Do what? Scrub the floor? 'Cause we're late, dumbo."
"No," Koschei said. "I mean... the other thing."
Theta sat back on his haunches, dipping the sponge into the bucket and rinsing it.
"I dunno," he said. "Once I read that humans do it because they love each other."
"But we're not humans," Koschei said.
"And it feels good," Theta added, rubbing vigorously. "Since everybody's loomed, then we can't reproduce by this, and so we do it because it feels good."
Koschei hummed in thought.
"Plus, when we do it in a more public area, I've heard it's more dangerous."
Koschei looked up at his friend, grinning. "What do you mean by that?"
"Well," Theta said, dropping the sponge and moving closer to his friend. "I mean we don't have to do it just by the River."
Koschei let Theta climb on top of him, pinning him down. "Really?"
"Yeah," Theta said, making sure to 'accidentally' prod the sensitive space of his friend with his knee gently. Koschei whined and closed the gap between him and Theta.
Theta didn't make it last long and broke the kiss to bite down his neck, making him moan. Theta smiled to himself when he felt the hard bump from between both of their legs, and he humped ever so slightly, moving away before Koschei could get any purchase.
"Theta," Koschei whined, and Theta grabbed his head and kissed him so hard that he'd have shared oxygen just to keep it going, to make it last.
As it was, Koschei heard someone coming down the hall and quickly righted himself, taking up the sponge once again. Theta did the same, grinning at his friend.
The Doctor sighed, making sure the humans had gone to bed as well as Susan.
This is what he hated.
"Theta, do you love me?" Koschei asked when they were back in their form that night.
"Of course," Theta responded easily, hanging off his bed by one arm.
"Like, really love me?"
"Yeah," his friend said, wondering what this was about. "Why?"
"We should do it for so much more than pleasure," Koschei said. "If you love me, why don't we ever go... further?"
Theta smiled. "What does that mean?"
"It's just so fast now, and quick make out sessions in the closet between classes. Why not... make it real?"
"It is real, 'Chei," Theta said, climbing into Koschei's bunk. "I love you. And if you want to make it real, then you tell me how, and we will."
Koschei smiled. "Promise?"
Theta crossed his hearts. "Promise."
"I... I know how, I think," he said. "To make it real."
"Alright," Theta said, a hill already forming in his earth-brand pants. "How?"
"Start calling me The Master."
That is what the Doctor hates, and also what he loves. He hates that he loved his friend so much that he became insane. And it was his fault.