Ebb
As Remus fell, his lips parted just wide enough to exhale his last breath. Snape hated the way he looked so scared right before he hit the ground. Severus had never felt so lost in that one moment. He could hear his heartbeat mix with the absence of another. His eyes watered. His head was filling with swirling thoughts of now and then and yesterday and tomorrow. The trees were bending closer, like dementors reaching for a kiss. Their leaves were dark, everything was dark. His hands were not his, they clenched and released in an uneasy confusion. None of this could possibly be happening. He was backing away. The closest tree, it was a big tree, steadied him and his nails clung to its bark. He didn't want to see it anymore. The flashing spells and the blood and screams and him. He didn't want to see him lying on the ground. Helpless.
Severus watched the full moon rise and cringed at its brightness. He waited for the shadow to cry and sulk into the Forest. It pained him to stay still and watch the moon torture the beast. It painted him to wait for the silvery orb to sink below the horizon, a constant cycle. He was helpless; helpless when Remus needed him most.
He would keep his promise though. He would not chase after him until the moon set. Severus gripped the windowsill and watched the trees.
"Severus."
He turned to face the intruder. "Yes?"
"You should get some sleep, he can take care of himself."
"I appreciate your concern, Albus, but I plan on staying up."
Dumbledore smiled. "It won't do either of you any good if you're tired all the time."
Severus felt the delicate hand of the headmaster clench his shoulder. "I'll be awake if you need anything else. Sir." He made sure to put a sting on his words.
"As you wish, Severus."
He stayed standing at the window, watching the Hogwarts grounds. Hagrid's hut went dark long before Snape's eyes began to feel heavy. He refused to sit, Snape knew himself well enough to know it would be the kiss of death. Remus needed him.
As the moon sank below the trees, he gathered his robes and rushed out through the Great Hall.
"Lumos."
His wand lent him enough light to manage his way though the Forest. He found a clear trail of blood and, heart pounding, followed it to a clearing.
"Remus?" he whispered.
To any one else, the large clump on the ground would have looked like a pile of leaves. It lay unmoving, curled tightly in a ball.
"Remus."
Snape knelt next to his broken lover, laying his outer cloak around his bare skin. He could count the fresh cuts that would add scars to Remus' already marked flesh.
"S-Severus?"
"Shh, don't worry Remus. I'm here." He cradled him in his arms and, brushing back his hair, Severus gently kissed his forehead. "I'm here."
"Please state your full name."
"Severus Archibald Snape."
The panel looked greedy, their teeth grinding at the chance to question the most evasive Severus Snape. He didn't expect anything less. Who wouldn't want to know all his secrets?
"Mr. Snape, it states in your confession that you met with Voldemort a few hours before the war ended with his vanquishing. What was this meeting about?"
"The Dark Lord wanted to ensure the future of his Death Eaters. He wanted to make sure that once everything was over, when he had won, that those closest to him would be safe. I was to lead them to the North where we were to wait until it was time to receive our payment."
"Your payment?"
"It was assumed we'd take over the Ministry."
"Why were you not escaping to the North after Voldemort's death?"
"There…there was nothing," Snape swallowed. "There was no reason to try and escape. We had lost."
Snape didn't want them to let him off. He wanted to spend the rest of his miserable existence in a cell in Azkaban, somewhere away from everywhere Remus had been. Locked away with the criminals he had associated with if only to become a hero. He was not a hero. He couldn't even save the one person he loved.
"So your allegiance fully lies with the Death Eaters and Voldemort?"
Remus had his arm across Severus' neck, holding him against the door.
"Don't lie to me." The vengeance in his eyes was blistering, Snape couldn't look. "You killed him and now you walk around like nothing can stop you. I can stop you. Right here, I can stop you."
Severus felt his air supply lessen as Remus' arm pressed harder.
"Tell me the truth."
Severus gripped Remus' wrist and lifted it from his neck. He gave Remus no time to protest before indulging in a kiss. He wasn't surprised when Remus gave in and kissed him back. He reveled in it, milking each breathless moment for more.
"Tell you the truth?"
Remus used his free hand to shove Severus back into the wall. "The truth."
Severus smiled. "But then I'd have to kill you."
Severus gripped Remus' hair with his right hand as he pulled him deeper into another kiss. Cloaks and shirts quickly became a pile next to them; Remus' knees kept going weak. Severus roughly pinned his lover to the wall, allowing him to break from the kiss, exposing his neck. His legs wrapped tightly around Severus' waist.
"Fuck me."
Severus carried him to the couch and dropped him, roughly kissing his shoulder, his own legs now straddling Remus. His lips parted in a heavy exhale.
"Yes, my allegiance lies with the Death Eaters."
"And you take responsibility for the murder of Albus Dumbledore?"
"Yes."
The investigator leaned against his pulpit, "Do you have anything left to say for yourself Mr. Snape?"
"What do you have to say for yourself Remus!? What are you thinking!?" Severus had never been so mad at him in his life. "I won't allow you to keep seeing her!"
"I can't stay alone my entire life Severus! You know we can never be together beyond these walls…" He looked at his palms. "It has to end."
"No. No!" Severus wanted to break things, throw glass objects, hex poor animals until they couldn't walk. He wanted to strangle Remus with his bare hands. "When were you going to tell me!? Or were you just going to keep everything a secret?"
"I…I didn't know what I was going to do. This i thing /i with me and Tonks just happened so fast and Severus, Severus she loves me even knowing it all. She loves me as a werewolf."
"I love you as a werewolf."
"Severus, I know. And if I could be with you forever and not have to worry about ten million other things, I would. But I can't. I can't be a werewolf and love you. The world is not ready for that."
"We can make them ready."
"You're not even on our side! You're the enemy! I can't love the enemy!"
"Then we'll wait until everything is over. We'll wait until He's gone and the world is back to normal. If it was all normal, you'd stay."
"You think it's going to be normal after this is over? What if we don't win?"
"You're going to win," Severus tucked some hair behind Remus' ear. "The Order will vanquish Him and Harry fucking Potter will be king of the world and everything will be normal, Remus." He held the man's face between his hands, gripping his neck with his fingers.
"Kiss me."
Severus obeyed.
"No," he looked the investigator straight in the eye. "I have nothing else to say."
"Very well then." The murmuring began, everyone was whispering to their friends, snug glares were the only looks passed his way.
"Wait."
Severus locked onto the person who spoke. How dare she ruin his fate.
"I refuse to believe this, we need to talk this over before you go condemning this man to eternal hell."
"Miss Granger, you do not have jurisdiction to overpower me. It is clear to everyone here that Severus Snape is guilty and deserves nothing less than to be locked up."
"I believe he's lying."
Snape clenched his jaw. Hermione stared straight into his eyes.
"You are lying, Professor. Aren't you?"
"How on earth can you make such an assumption, girl?"
"Sir, I have been trying to figure out Severus Snape my entire school career. He's clever. He's making sure you don't use Veritaserum by giving a guilty confession easily. Don't you see? The Death Eaters lost the war, Voldemort has been vanquished for good, and Harry Potter survived. It's everything he's supposed to dread. But no Death Eater would sit there and not put up a fight. How many others have we questioned? Ten? Fifteen? None of them have given us anything without the use of Veritaserum, they continue to hold strong in their original beliefs that they did what needed to be done. Some of them still continue to claim they were under the Imperious Curse! And here we sit with the most elusive Death Eater and he's giving us a full confession? I don't believe it."
"Very well, Miss Granger, if you so desire, we can use Veritaserum to, I'm sure, extract the same confession out of Mr. Snape."
"I don't believe it will be the same confession," Hermione smirked. "I believe it will be quite a show."
Snape felt his stomach drop as a gangly wizard he didn't know entered the hall. He wore deep maroon robes and held a small vial of the secret revealing potion. By the looks of it, Snape would be spilling everything.
"Please, no." Snape didn't want to beg. "I've been cooperative in all of this. I know my fate and I want to accept it gracefully. Please, don't do this."
"Let me question him," the filthy mudblood said.
Severus, chained in place, felt the three drops touch his tongue and sqeezed his eyes shut. It was an unfamiliar feeling; it had been so long since the last time he was not in control of every part of his mind. Padlocks and chains began to lessen on the memories he had been hiding deep within. It was almost relieving.
Severus bent his head back, releasing his neck to the open air. His bare chest was cold in the moonless night, Remus' breath was hot against his ear. He loved nothing more than to let Remus have his way, give complete control over to him. It was a rarity to not have to constantly worry about suppressing his inner desires. He loved the way Remus took care of him.
Severus felt his lover pamper every inch of skin; the soft forest ground was the perfect bed. He bit hard against his shoulder and Severus moaned freely into the still night. He had always known how to rub him the right way. Severus clawed at his back, not afraid to hurt him. They arched into each other, Remus exhaling hot breath onto his neck. It was passion at its height.
All the fears of what the future held slipped away with every bead of sweat. The morning sun seemed as distant as a heartbeat. Neither man felt anything but now. Now was passion, now was pure passionate sex.
Severus guided Remus' hips and grunted as he slipped deep into the connection. Remus sat tall, head arched back, mouth wide in ecstasy. His body was in perfect shape, an artists palette covered in thick lines and thin stripes. Severus gasped as Remus took his cock in his hand and held it like a horn on a saddle. Up and down in time with each thrust, Snape arched deeper until release came.
He felt used, spared of everything he held. Severus clung to Remus' waist; his head fell perfectly against his shoulder. Remus kissed the top of his head and sighed, relaxing into his form. There they laid, bodies enveloped in each other, neither thought of what tomorrow held.
"I love you," Severus whispered.
"I know."
Tears fell from Severus' closed eyes as he prepared for Hermione's questions. He expected them to probe into every corner of his secrets and reveal more than anyone ever needed to know.
Hermione paused, mouth half agape, set to ask every question she ever wanted. She watched his tears fall, slowly at first, unable to wipe them away.
"Go on, Miss Granger, ask away."
He said it with sadness, not bitterness.
"Why?" she began. "Why would you willingly put yourself in Azkaban when you could walk out of this hall a hero?"
Severus looked up, straight into her eyes, wet streaks still glistening on his sunken cheeks. "Because I loved him."
As those words slipped from his lips, he felt a tension begin to ebb. Confused glances and worried eyes replaced those of security and fate. Like a rising tide, a sense of relief began to nip at his toes, the constant pain slowly gliding away with each breath.
"Who did you love?"
He smiled as he spoke the name, "Remus John Lupin."